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financial: How to get money out of the stock market? (Without arguing with her?)
My wife and I have been married for 47 years. Admittedly shew has made some good financial decisions over the years but now I am concerned about something very serious. We have approximately 95,000.00 in nth stock amrket. ait goes up and down, most.y down lately. I want it all sold and the money put into the bank where it never goes down. She refuses and I hate confrontation. She will simply not talk about it. I asked her one question that I thought would seal the sell it all deal. "Is there more of a chance of it getting to 100,000 or going to 80,000.00"? we've all seen the crashes and we're to old to go through another one. What do you suggest?
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Sell the stock immediately. Put it in the bank or cash it out and keep it in your house because you cannot really trust the banks that much either. Or buy gold.. actual gold (not gold stock) because if the dollar fails, it will be as worthless as the paper it's printed on. You will have to sell the stock on your own if your wife is resistant. You will just have to tell her a little while after you've done it. If you usually handle the finances (I know you said she has made some good decisions so I don't kmow how involved she is) then I would hold off telling her until she asks. If she hasn't been talking about it then she might not bring it up. I mean I'm sure you will do what is best as far as when she will find out. I would definitely get the money from the stock now and put it away. Hope this helps :)
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That's not only her money but your money too. You need to do what you want with your money. If you've tried being polite about it already and it didn't wOrk then you need to be firm and stand your ground. Do what you need to do and who knows maybe she'll come around to the idea.
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My advice? Consult a broker,or financial consultant!
Honestly the stock market is just one big gamble,you may want to consider selling,cashing in and invest in gold!!
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Well..it really depends on what the stock is. Im not a professional in that category but i do think that it is smart to save what you have . i think maybe you should suggest to take half out of stocks and keep another in. better safe than sorry. also i would just try to do more research on your investment. I hope everything works out for you and your wife!
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You really need to talk to a financial expert to analyze your particular needs, the diversity of your portfolio, and the tax implications of pulling out of the market. If you are in tax-favored instruments, there are limits to when and how you can take your money out, however the length of your marriage suggests that's not far off. A good rule of thumb is to put more in stocks and less in T-bills and bonds when you're young and can weather the ups and downs, the reverse when older and getting to the age where you will be calling on those funds. Maybe your wife isn't acknowledging her age? Get a financial professional with an actuarial table at hand to talk her through it.
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I believe that you should confront her after having a meal of some sort and tell her that you think it's in both of your best interests to pull out of the stock.
This is very sensitive because it can go up in the later future, and she seems to be stubborn and selfish about keeping the stock as it is (probably to get the lost finances and possibly make more).
You seem to have an interesting view on it and you want to play it safe and take what you have and move along.
How are the patterns and how are the companies doing? Do research on them to predict future trends and bring evidence to your wife that it will or will not do better in the (near) future. Google can help.
Good luck.
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Well that sounds frustrating I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It seems to me that the core of this problem lies in the fact that you're both looking at this as a fight so no communication is happening. She is unwilling to talk or discuss and you now see the conversation as a confrontation when it really shouldn't be a confrontation. Every relationship has it's power struggles and we have to pick and choose and our battles. However, the usual ebb and flow of the power exchange can become very destructive when communication breaks down. That's what it seems like has happened here. You should be able to talk to a parter of 47 years over finances, it's only the predictable, responsible thing that we all have to do with our partners. I don't know your whole financial situation but I do know social security has generally failed and we have more seniors retiring now than ever before. Becoming more conservative with your finances in your latter years is a valid discussion and you should be able to have it.
If you're wife is becoming hostile when you bring it up your first goal is to disarm her hostility. Communication can not happen if she gets defensive. Here are some general things that might help you do this.
First, don't think of it as a confrontation. Go into it just as willing to hear her reasoning and get won over by her side as you would like her to be in understanding yours. Second, don't be afraid to expose your own vulnerability in the face of her hostility. You exposing your fears, and expressing your love for her can do wonders for defusing a bomb! For example what if you started with something like this. "I'm getting a lot of anxiety over this financial choice and I don't understand why we can't talk about it? I want to believe we're making the right decision but you won't explain your reasoning to me. I just worry all the time for our future. I love you and I wan't us to be financially stable. Please talk to me about it. It's cruel to leave me like this, constantly worrying in confusion over this choice that feels destructive. I love you and I only want the best for us both. Please talk to me about this."
If approaching her is too hard, write a note. You can plan you're words better on paper. The note can be simple all it has to do is express you're concerns (vulnerability) and ask for communication. Remember the goal is communication! Not being right or proving that she is wrong. Thinking like that will destroy any hopes of resolution. Also, if it works and you have the talk and she does agree with you, it's best that you don't take it back to I'm right your wrong ever again! Finances are a serious matter so try to keep the childish games out of it. Steer clear of the blame game!!! For example, It's NOT your wife that is destructive, it's the current state of your finances that's destructive. Using the word "IT" while identifying a problem is a huge help. People need that tiny word to provide one vital degree of separation. It's NOT you that's bad, it's this thing outside of you thats bad.
Starting with a question, will allow her to start and then when she sees you're actually listening and trying to understand she won't think you're just trying to get you're way. Then she is more likely to bite her tung and listen when it's your turn to talk. Maybe you won't totally get your way, maybe only part of the money will go in the bank. However, isn't that better than suffering in silence?
Finances are uncomfortable conversations for all of us. However, the pain of ignoring them is far greater than the pain of having them. We just never see it until the conversation is done and over with.
You can do it, Good Luck honey!
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You didn't ask a question. You made an accusation. That's why it was a confrontation - you started it as a confrontation rather than a conversation. You asked a question thats only purpose was to make her feel bad and try to make her agree with you. That's not a question at all. It's just an attack.
It sounds like your wife may know far more about the stock market than you do, and rather than asking her questions designed to make her see it your way (which will not work, if she does in fact understand these things better than you do) you need to ask her questions about WHY she feels the current plans are good ones and what her future intentions are with the investments.
Ask her WHY she is comfortable with the current investments.
Ask her WHAT her goals are and when she'll be looking to get out of the stock market.
Stop pretending that your concerns are anything more than your feelings - because that's all you have. Your fears are meaningful. it's important to share with her if you are feeling frightened about your money situation, but your fears aren't automatically more important than her knowledge about the investments.
You also have to consider whose money it is. You are not entirely clear on whether or not this is - legally speaking - her investments or your shared investments. If they are hers, than her choice stands regardless of your feelings.
Stop trying to force her to see it your way and instead, make a very, very serious effort to understand her position. If you can respect the fact that she has made this money, and has made wise investments in the past, then you need to try to respect her opinions at this time. It okay to be afraid, but you have to be honest about your fears and your lack of knowledge, and instead of trying to make her do whatever you feel is right, you need to respect the knowledge she has.
The more you respect her knowledge the more likely she is to respect your feelings of fear.
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I am NOT a financial adviser nor are other respondents here. Nothing we say would be as sound as advice you would get from one. I suggest you consult a bank together or a firm that could give you all the figures and information.
What I can tell you is that there's nothing you can do to change the mind of anyone else. However, find out why she doesn't want to even talk about it and ask her to consult an independent party with you to at least know all sides.
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As you've been married for so long- you (more than anyone) will know when she's in a good mood or a bad mood. When she's in a good mood sit her down and just tell her that you're worried about this and it needs sorting out. If she walks away or tries to change the subject you're going to have to confront her. As this is a serious matter and it can't be avoided, we all have to do things that we don't like. And it's not like you haven't tried to be civil. So just try to be calm and talk it out- but you probably are just going to have to deal with the fact that you need to confront her about this. I hope this helped, and I hope things get better! ☺️
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hmm, well my dear friend, you're asking an 18 year old about financial issues and this is a bit tricky for me. But, I do have a GREAT deal of experience when it comes to arguing. Have you tried to calmly explain to her of your concern/worry about this? That should do the trick. I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful >.< I'm not experienced with financial issues but what I suggest about the without arguing with her, calmly approach her again and say something like 'I know it's a touchy subject but...' and voice your concerns from there.
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If neither of you are financial advisors (and seeing one together is an option of course) then who is to say who is right? The stock market is volatile and unpredictable (to an extent) - it could go really well for you but equally it could go badly. How is it invested/how is that split? If it is all in one stock then sure that could be risky, but most investments these days are spread over shares of varying levels of risk meaning that you are reasonably assured of making a profit.
Why don't you put half in the bank and keep half in the stock market? If you split it 50:50 and then one of you can have your "I told you so" moment in a years' time :)
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Do you have a financial adviser? If not I would suggest finding a firm with a good reputation and make an appointment.They can go over your portfolio with and help you and your wife make the best decision for your investments.Good luck to you both and congratulations on a 47 year marriage! Sounds to me like you both have quite a bit going for you in the common sense department! I am sure you will work this out!
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I sympathize with your concern that the stock market may erode your assets but I don't believe that you will be able to convince your wife to put all the money in the bank where its growth is limited by very low interest rates.
However, spreading the assets across a wide range of investments is an effective way to reduce risk and increase potential returns over the long term. Holding a mixture of different types of investments will help cushion your portfolio from downturns, as the value of some investments may go up while the value of others may go down.
Without calling in an expert and paying for their advice, you could approach her with the idea of dividing your assets between bank savings accounts, certificates of deposit, bonds, stock market shares, mutual funds, commodities, (including gold) or even a down payment on a rental property.
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Excuse me for being blunt but if a stock market crashes, the same financial system its part of crashes and even the banks will have a run on them for money that they don't have. You do realize that there isn't enough paper money to cover all the banks and other financial institutions or what the government owes to other countries, I hope.
There is much less profit to be made in a bank. However, if the main concern is that it doesn't go down in a bank, that's pretty true, it doesn't. However if the US financial systems in all its venues falls apart, there will be a mad dash by people for their money to take it out in cash and banks don't have that kind of paper money around. If a withdrawal you want is too large, and by too large i mean a limit of $1,000.oo in most banks on any given day, then you have to wait until the next day to withdraw more. I wanted to take out $2,000 in cash once to pay someone in cash for something I bought, they wouldn't trust a check, and I have to go to two other branches to take out 500. in each to make up the rest. When I asked about it, they explained they only have so much cash on hand at any given time. So your financial worth is a bunch of numbers on paper or in computers.
I suggest you not worry about it. Whats going to come will come. If a compromise can be made, see about splitting it in half and putting half in the bank if it gives you peace of mind. But I consider it all a false peace. Just my opinion though.
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