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awkwardness THE WHOLE TIME


Question Posted Monday January 19 2015, 11:52 pm

Hey so i have this friend, she's a girl and I'm a guy. She's my best friend, and we hang out all the time. The only problem is whenever we hang out, we always sit around and watch netflix. Most of the time she's not even watching the show, she's just playing a game on her iPhone. We used to talk non stop too, so I'm kind of depressed it stopped. Is there any way I can break the tension and silence. How can i bring the life back into our relationship?

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Pook answered Friday January 23 2015, 6:02 am:
Do something else instead of watching netflix! Play a card game or a board game (great for bringing out a bit of silliness) or simply go for a walk.

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Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday January 20 2015, 7:36 pm:
Think back to when you used to talk non stop. Did she have an iPhone then? If she did not, and the talking stopped after she got on, then IPhone and TV or movie watching is the problem. If she did have the iphone back then but you still talked alot, then something changed along the lines. Somewhere along the way, it became preferable for her or both of you to watch TV instead of talk. If she isn't into the movies you are watching and on phone instead, perhaps she doesn't like the movies you're playing? Or maybe she is bored with TV and even iphone /internet. People can get addicted to things like that too. I believe when people are bored, they turn to the internet also. I have done that on occasion. Next time instead of turning on the TV, ask if you could have an important conversation with her. Ask her to give 2 hrs to it without picking up her phone and she can pick the time. Then ask her if she is really happy with where your friendship has gone. Share the difference and changes you've seen. Two people need interaction with each other and sitting in the same room not talking is not it. Even married couples drift apart when their attention is taken up elsewhere and apathy sets in. Doesn't mean things can't change back. Once she realizes how far the friendship has drifted apart, it's a matter of whether she wants to go back to the way things were. Because both of you need to be on the same page, wanting to and putting in equal effort. Set aside only a portion of each time together to get on the internet. Agree with night is movie night and leave the rest open to do things that you both have in common, like if you like going to the roller rink, or enjoy roller blading, bike riding.
If she doesnt respond to suggestions, try to plan a surprise evening, everyone likes surprises, give her vague hints, enough to engage her mind to keep her intrigued. As to what you both do? It could be anything, even a board game you both like. If there is something you both like to do, find a group of people into the same thing or interest who meet once a week or bi weekly, at meetup.com About every city has it on line. With info as to the meeting place which can be a library room or a coffeehouse. I've gone to ones concerning interests I already had or something I wanted to explore. A daughter went to one on energy healing. I've even seen one set up for moms with babes in strollers to go strolling together and meet back at Jamba Juice for refreshments. There's ones for board games, Hikers, bikers, and even new age stuff. Once at a meeting, it will be harder for her to pull out a phone, it would look rude to all there. She'll have other people to engage her mentally as well, a way to start to wean her off her phone if she's that addicted. That's some of my ideas anyways. Hope it helps.

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Ocalaphernella answered Tuesday January 20 2015, 3:18 am:
Hm, well you could try learning more things about her and asking a bunch of questions (here and there, not annoyingly) and really get to know her well, which includes finding out her interests and what makes her happy and what she likes to do and all that. Then you can look into that stuff and start making more conversations based on her interests, and make/buy her something (doesn't have to be big) that she would like, and play her favourite movie on Netflix when you watch it, and try to do other things when you hang out. Like go to the movies or chill with more friends, or take her to do something she likes to do. Just get to know her really well (more than you already did) and start talking about that stuff and showing an interest, and try to make her laugh with things she finds funny. Be spontaneous and put more good vibe into your time with her. There's lots you could do.
Hope this helps~

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