my friends have all had sex, but I am 12. Should I have sex?
Question Posted Monday August 15 2011, 12:23 pm
hey i'm the 12 year old girl with the 16 year old bf. alot my friends have really older boy friends.and they've had sex before. i'm really not sure what i should do? my friends are always talking abuot how they had sex. sometimes they would ask me if i've had sex with my bf and they know i'll say no. should i have sex with my bf?
VeNzUeLa answered Tuesday August 16 2011, 7:03 am: Love, the fact that you're posting this on a website for advice from millions of people around the world just shows that you aren't ready. The millions of helpful advisers on this site could not possibly know if you are ready, if you are emotionally ready, for sex or not.
Do you want to lose your virginity because everyone else was doing it, or because YOU, yourself wants to? Because you, yourself, feels safe, secure and loved.
Don't do it for others. Don't do it for your friends, or for your boyfriend. Do it for yourself. And from what I read, you clearly are not ready.
Legally you aren't supposed to, there MUST be a reason it is not allowed legally, right? Read up on the psychological effects of having sex at a young age. Besides the psychological effects, are you, yourself, able to provide for a baby, financially, emotionally etc.?
Just be sure that whatever you choose to do, it is because it is what you want, and it's something you will not regret.
jinxskitz answered Monday August 15 2011, 11:17 pm: No, never have sex because of peer pressure. You WILL regret it.
You are so young, if you wait till your older and more knowledgeable about life's lessons, you will enjoy and appreciate sex so much more. I recommend waiting till your at least 18, for obvious reasons. I waited till I was 17, but I wish I would have waited. It would have saved me some pain and frustration.
Save your self for the right guy, the one that proves himself tender of heart.
lightoftruth923 answered Monday August 15 2011, 10:25 pm: It would not be a good idea at all. You'll probably regret having sex so young. I wasn't even thinking about sex when I was 12. Ignore your friends, they're just gonna screw up their lives having sex so early. Just wait till you're older and don't let your bf pressure you either. [ lightoftruth923's advice column | Ask lightoftruth923 A Question ]
Eunice101 answered Monday August 15 2011, 4:22 pm: You should be a leader not a follower, just because your friends are having sex doesn't mean that you should too. Also, your to young to have sex, maybe your body hasn't even developed for that yet. My advice to you is to not have sex, do it when you know it's right like at the age of 18, don't do it because your friends are doing it. :) [ Eunice101's advice column | Ask Eunice101 A Question ]
rotXinXpieces answered Monday August 15 2011, 3:33 pm: No, no, no. You're only twelve! You shouldn't even be thinking about sex. Your friends should respect your decision, and you boyfriend too. I'm not gonna say it's bad to date a guy that's a bit older than you because I'd be a hypocrite, but you have to know that boys at that age have the tendency to think about one thing only. [ rotXinXpieces's advice column | Ask rotXinXpieces A Question ]
MummuM answered Monday August 15 2011, 2:36 pm: You shouldn't feel like you should have sex with your boyfriend, just because your friends are doing it with theirs. You shouldn't have to feel pressured into something, especially having sex. That is a big decision and it should be for someone you love and care about. When you're ready for it, you'll know. But I don't think now is that time...
Your friends don't sound like they are being very nice friends, either. If they ask you every time (even though they know you haven't had sex), just to hear you say no, that's not being very friend like. A friend doesn't do that to someone. You should be very proud of yourself and the decisions you made, never let anyone tell you different. Follow what you think is right. [ MummuM's advice column | Ask MummuM A Question ]
Honey101 answered Monday August 15 2011, 2:04 pm: 12 is a very young age sweety and at 16 most boys DO want to have sex but that doesn't mean you have to just because he wants to or everyone is doing it. If he pressures u break up with him ASAP, he doesn't care about you... As you mature in age you will learn how precious having your virginity is. By 14 a lot of girls will have lost it so it would make you different and special (in a very good way) that you still have yours. You will be happy to say you're a virgin trust me. A lot of boys in high school are always talking about how NO girl is a virgin these days. Stay pure my love because it Is something valuable. Those stupid friends of yours just want you to be like them. Be a leader not a follower. :-) [ Honey101's advice column | Ask Honey101 A Question ]
fhplayer8008 answered Monday August 15 2011, 1:58 pm: You should never feel pressured to do anything that you aren't comfortable with. 12 is pretty young to even be thinking about having sex. If your bf pressures you to do it, you should just leave him. Use your head and make smart choices. [ fhplayer8008's advice column | Ask fhplayer8008 A Question ]
Zane answered Monday August 15 2011, 1:49 pm: If you have to listen to what other people do, Then you are not ready. At 12, You are way to young to be doing something like that anyway.
I'm just going to throw it out there
If you have sex because everyone else is doing it, Then you have fallen right under peer pressure just like many others do that screw up. This is exactly why many young people these days have children, Not because they thought they were "in love" but because everyone else had one, They fell under peer pressure and clearly because they were stupid. Sweetheart, Having sex is MUCH more than just doing it because everyone else is. It is a very big thing that should be done once you are older and more mature. Virginity is a special thing that shouldn't just be thrown away because you want to just get it over it. If someone ask you if you've had sex then you tell them that your sex life is personal and for them to mind their business. It's very rude for someone to bud their nose into someone else life anyway. You do NOT have to tell anyone anything and frankly you are not entitled to do so. Right now I really think you should wait a few years, It would be the smart and right thing to do. If your boyfriend is pressuring you into sex, Then you should leave him. Someone who loves and appreciates you will wait for you. [ Zane's advice column | Ask Zane A Question ]
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