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i like someone else besides my boyfriend
I'm already in a long term relationship, but I have had a crush on another guy for almost 2 or 3 months now. I know it's wrong for me to have feelings for someone else, but it's not going away. I even told my boyfriend about it, because I feel so wrong about it, and I feel like he deserves to know since he is the one I am with. My boyfriend obviously was upset and since he knows the guy, he basically hates him now, which is to be expected and I completely understand.
So naturally I don't know where I stand with my boyfriend now. We've discussed my feelings, but I definitely have mixed feelings. I have love for my boyfriend but my mind keeps wandering towards someone else.
Everyone I've sought advice about this has said the same thing: It's wrong for you to have feelings for someone else, so stop communicating with the new guy you have feelings for and eventually the feelings will go away. And reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend: either be in it, or out of it.
So I've tried to stop talking to the guy I'm crushing on, but I honestly don't want to. I keep going back and fourth about it.
And I think I have chosen to continue to stay with my current boyfriend, and I think we're both happy to be dating each other, but I still have these other lurking feelings for someone else and it's BOTHERING ME so much!!! What do I do?
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It's not easy being in that kind of situation. I've been there before and its hard to figure out what is right and what is wrong.
First off, its unfair for your boyfriend because this could make it seem like he's missing something or not doing something right. What does this other guy bring to the table that your boyfriend doesn't? What is it about your crush that attracts you to your crush? Is it his looks? Or do you like his personality? In the end its about the personality and looks aren't everything, I'm not sure if it was the best idea to tell your boyfriend but since you already did you may have worried him about where this relationship is going and how you really feel about him. Relationships go through many tests in life and it depends on how you keep it together through the good and especially the bad times. I was a situation like this for a year and a half, sadly, I was thinking about this other guy constantly. I never told my boyfriend at the time but I figured he knew. I would sneak off to talk to this guy and just to hang out with him. In the end not only did I create a conflict for myself but i was hurting someone else. I followed my heart and it lead me to other guy who I cared about so much. That's not to say that you should leave your boyfriend but put yourself in his position. How would you feel if he did that to you?
You need to really think about this and think about what you want. And you should figure out soon because the more you become curious about this other guy the more you'll push away your boyfriend and miss what's really important. Take sometime to think and listen to your heart but think with your head.
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You've already made up your mind on what you want
If you are not happy in your current relationship then you owe it too your boyfriend to tell him the truth. You've pretty much told him what you want by telling him you had feelings for someone else. It would be wrong to lead him on thinking you still care for him when your feelings are dying out and your heart is not there anymore. If you want to be with someone else then tell your boyfriend how you feel, If you want to be with the boyfriend then suck it up and stop talking to the new guy. It's wrong to lead people on and play with their feelings.
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