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My baby's father
My son's father and I recently had a bad break up. He is very emotionally abusive. Not only does he say things about me but my family also. He gets so angry that he has told me the worst things anybody can say to you.Im scared that he is going to come back and think everything is okay, this is what he usually does. I don't want him back anymore because I know that he will never change. I also feel bad for my son he is only 4 months old and he is my pride and joy. I just don't want him to think that I couldn't keep his dad around because he was rude to my family. I know he will be coming for his stuff in a couple of days. I just don't know how to handle the situation if he comes back and wants to work things out?
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The first thing you need to do is go to the district court and get an order of protection for you and your son against your son's father. Once you have done that you need to find a good family law lawyer.
Your son's father has certain rights and responsibilities. A good Family Law Lawyer will see to it that all of your rights and the child's father's responsibilities are protected by the court system. This would include child support, medical insurance, maintaining life insurance on himself, and a visitation schedule that you approve of. Should the child's father object to any of this he would have to hire his own lawyer.
It is important that you take all steps necessary to protect you and your child. Never accept the father's word that he will protect you. Get it in writing by your own lawyer and have it certified by the courts.
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If your son's father is abusive and is a threat too you and your son then you should get some sort of restraining order against him, If you feel the need you could have a cop escort him on the property to obtain his belongings. Razhie is right, You don't owe it too your son to be in a relationship that makes you miserable. If he is abusive then you DO owe it too your son to protect both you and your child. There are many ways of handling the situation but first I think you may want to consider taking this matter to court and getting custody of your son. Perhaps the court can arrange weekly visits for the father to see his son or if he is an incredible threat then supervised visitation rights. This man will not come back only if you don't let him back, Assuming by what you've written that you already know it is not healthy to have your son in such an environment. If he comes back for his stuff then if you feel more comfortable ask a friend to stop by the house for a few hours while he is there picking up his belongings. If he refuses to leave the property then you pick up the phone and call the police. This is how you handle it
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If this man is abusive AND you know that you don't want him back... Then it doesn't really matter if he wants toworkthings out. You don't. So you say no.
'Keeping his dad around' is very different than staying in a relationship with him. You have a responsibly to your son to encourage and allow his father too be in his life. You don't owe it to your son to be miserable and fake being in love with his dad. Children don't want their parents to be miserable.
If you are honest with your son, and respectful and encouraging of his relationship with his father, then he's very unlikely to resent you when he is older.
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