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Be friends with an ex boyfriend or not to be friends? Lengthy
Some History:
Hey I met my ex in July of last year and we were in a relationship for 6 months, on and off, until I just got really sick of him. It's not his fault because I lacked the confidence to be with him, since he's a very handsome boy [He's 19 now I think, I still don't see a man in him yet. I'm older than him by a couple of months]. And he knows about it because I've told him before we got serious about how I was, and how I don't have much self-confidence. We confront each other about problems that we have in our relationship, but whenever I talk to him about other girls that he talks to, he says he'll fix it, but it doesn't feel like anything changes, so I broke up with him. And this same issue just keeps coming up and we keep getting back together and breaking up. I wasn't attached to him, as he was to me, and I definitely felt a weight lifted off my shoulders each time we broke up, it was like each time we broke up the more weight was lifted off, i don't know. But he just kept asking me to get back with him. Anyway I've told him how I felt about him talking to other girls, and I found some texts on his phone; he was chatting with this girl whom she said I love you to him. I also checked his sent msgs to see if he said anything to lead her on, or if she had misunderstood and didn't know that he was in a relationship, this was a month or two into our relationship so I really doubt it. I brushed it off, because I didn't want to be a pain in the ass, and I had other things that were more important to do [What could be more important than a serious relationship right? School. lmao, yes I prioritize it before anything else. All-nighters are hard enough, I'd rather prioritize my stress too.]. But anyway, I really don't know how many times we broke up but it's been more than 6 months now since we've broken him. I feel like I really hate him and I don't understand why. I know that in my relationship with him, I didn't feel a sense of trust that I should give him. He was very confidential...about other people's stories especially his girl friends, and so I don't mind that but eventually it just got suspicious, that's when I decided to stop trying to trust him and every time we broke up the more I just wouldn't open up to him anymore, and he would keep trying to find ways to be with me and to talk to me or whatever. So we stopped talking to each other. Or rather, I stopped talking to him. I deleted him from facebook, because he was basically spamming my news feed. He doesn't directly do anything because he's a passive aggressive person, but I know when he's pointing fingers or talking about me. I didn't want to hear it so I deleted him. He messages me to talk to him, and so we had a long conversation...then I stopped talking to him after a while, he tried to add me as a friend on facebook again which I rejected. He wasn't a bad boyfriend, well the first few times we ate out he always paid, then I decided that I'll pay for my half because the truth is we're both college students and we don't have that money. Sometimes I'd pay the full bill for him and sometimes he'd pay the full bill for me. We watched movies together and were around each other a lot.
I want to be friends with him, but then I don't want to be friends with him. I'm perfectly fine without him in my life at all [even though that's impossible because we go to college together], but I feel bad for him because he wants to be my friend. I just don’t want to be a B****.I would've been friends with him a while ago if he didn't have such a cocky approach. He said "So, you feel like being friends again?" Sometimes I just want to punch/slap him and just say, "N**** IF YOU WANT TO FRIENDS THEN START BY SAYING HEY" because I want to leave things in the past but when he says that it indirectly brings it up. I feel like he'd annoy the hell out of me if we were friends. My friends don’t like him that much either, and his high school friend who studies together with us in the same college is happy for me that we’re not together because apparently he was a bad person in high school, and he really cautions me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There is something holding you back. I dont understand but your mind knows better to avoid him and all... but your heart refuses to be hurt. maybe you dont want to totally let go of him because youre hoping that he will change? or you dont want to totally reject him because youre a nice person. Maybe its the fear of totally lofsing him.. But you will meet a totally cooler guy that is meant for you and will make you feel wonderful so dont mind this obstacle now and it will go..He will realize what a jerk he is and you will get your revenge by being the girl that got away! and he will regret it forever! you deserve only the best!! Good luck in College! :)
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Get over it
You said yourself he wasn't the best boyfriend to have around and it's been 6 months since you two were even in a relationship. Lets face it, Being friends with exes is nothing but baggage. It rarely ever works out unless you both are mature enough to respect one another. You just stated how you would be fine if he wasn't in your life, If this were really true then why are you asking us if you should be friends with him or not. Sounds to me that you aren't completely over him. This guy is the past, If he is too immature for you then move on. Like I said exes are nothing but baggage.
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