my dads mom dies today, and the sad thing is i didnt cry. noone in my family has ever died while i was living. im ot sure if it didnt hit me yet, or i just wasnt close to her. to be honest she annoyed me alot, always asking questions, being nosy. she was an alchoholic too. i just felt bad for my dad and thats what made me saddest. i feel guilty because i cant remember times where i liked to be with her. what am i supposed to do? is it bad to feel that way? should i talk to my friends about it?
If you are asking if you are an uncompassionate human being...You aren't. I can tell because you feel guilty for not crying, and feeling sorry for your dad.
It's okay not to cry. All people cope with death differently. You might still be in shock. My uncle died when I was in my teens, we weren't close, and I also felt guilty when my family started to cry and I didn't. At his funeral, before they buried him, they did a 21 gun salute...and I lost it. I realized then that I hadn't cried before because it hadn't quite registered that he was dead yet. When those guns went off...I don't know. It suddenly sunk in.
And if you don't cry. Well, that still doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you. It just means that you didn't know her well enough. Either way, I'm sorry for your loss and you and your family are in my prayers...
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I have a friend and we used to be best friends, but now i dont want to hang out with her or anything because i've noticed that shes always making fun of me and trying to make me look bad so i dont want to hang out wit her but she always is making plans that include ME.
so how can i tell her that i dont want to hang out with her without hurting her feelings?
Just be honest...And try to be gentle.
Explain to her that the way she treats you hurts YOUR feelings, and that she needs to stop. If she really is your friend and does care about you, she will respect you and what you have to say. And try to honor it.
If she can't handle your honesty...Well, now you've got a friend that is inconsiderate of your feelings, even when you spell them out for her. Friends shouldn't make you feel that way. Do you really want a friend like that in the first place.
If she can't deal, and your answer is "no," then stop hanging out with her. You don't need excuse either. You could just say, "I don't want to hang out with you because you're mean to me."
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29 Male
I met Mary, 20 years old, about 10 months ago. We hit off and started dating. It’s been about 7 months now. Her family life is a complete mess. Her parents divorced a little over a year ago. Now, her mom hardly returns her calls and her dad quickly got re-married and now lives about 2 1/2 hours north of her. With his new life he rarely makes time for her either.
After dating for about 4 months, she visited her doctor. Her stomach was bothering her. The doctor discovered a cyst. She had tests done and that day she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer – stage one.
She refused to have a hysterectomy and started chemotherapy. After 3 weeks of chemo, its stage 3. The doctor tells her it’s terminal. She tells her dad. He asks her not tell anyone on his side of the family. Meanwhile, he never calls her to ask how she’s doing. As far as her mom goes – she hasn’t told her yet.
Three weeks ago, Mary’s doctor said she needed to stop chemo because her organs were swelling as a result of her diabetes. At this point the cancer had stopped spreading. Last week she blew off her doctor’s appointment because she needed to work to make rent. She was scheduled to restart chemo. Mary works full-time on her feet. She smokes and has a glass of wine now and then. None of which her doctor agrees with. So as a result, the cancer has started to spread again.
Watching her suffer has taken a lot out of me. More than half the week she sleeps at my apartment. And on cue in the evening her pains skyrocket. Lying in bed she twists and shakes until she passes out. All I can do is hold her. She wakes up and the pain goes another round or two until she finally falls asleep.
I don’t agree with how she’s handling her sickness. Missing doctor appointments, smoking, and drinking. Just the other day she was planning to go to the beach with friends. I told her she’s not suppose to go in the sun while on chemo; that’s when I found out she missed her doctors appointment earlier that day.
I want to be there for her, but as a friend. I do all I can so that she feels like a beautiful woman. But I might just have to just walk away. I feel like I need to do something to get her to take this illness more seriously. I’m frustrated.
What do you think?
Wow...
Well...I think I understand how you are feeling right now. I've never had to deal with an ill boyfriend, but I have dealt with extremely ill family members...I'm sure you're more than frustrated. I know I am...
Anyway, I'm really sorry that Mary has cancer. And I'm really sorry that her family doesn't seem to care. But, you are right...She's not doing what's best for health, and furthermore...it isn't YOUR responsibility to do it for her. Not that you could even if you wanted to. And it isn't your fault that her mom and dad are so...insensitive. Compensating for their lack of loving kindness isn't your responsibility either.
I may sound inconsiderate and uncompassionate. But you know what...I've been there. I've learned that the happiness of others isn't my responsibility. My only responsibility is my own happiness, and if I focus too much on the happiness of others, mine will get lost somewhere in the process.
Looking out for her is real nice, but you need to look out for you too. I think that this relationship is an unhealthy one. A healthy relationship is difficult enough, comes with it's own set of problems. This...we're talking a lot of extra obstacles. I'm just concerned that she's going to become dependent upon you, and that you'll end up suffering depression as a result.
And really...I think that being her friend, and just her friend, might be best for her too. She needs to focus on herself, her health, and I think that a relationship detracts from that. Also, like you said...She needs to take the situation seriously...
Though, if you love her, and don't want to let her go, then don't. Just be prepared and ready for what's coming. On the other hand, if you JUST don't want to be with her, don't let her illness make you feel guilty.
I'm done ranting now. Sorry this is so long. I'm praying for the both of you. I hope things work out okay. I try to check my inbox on a regular basis if you'd like to talk for any reason. If not, that's cool too. Adieu ;)
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My girlfreind broke up with me a while ago and we were like best friend before that, but i stil like her now. We suddenly just like DON'T talk at allwhat so ever. how could i make it all up to her and possibly get her to go back out with?
WARNING: it's going to be difficult for me to give you any advice since I don't know _why_ the two of you broke up.
All I can say is...From what you've told me, it sounds like your girlfriend needs some space. She needs to sort out the way she feels about you, and sometimes, this is done a lot better when you don't have to face that person everyday. This could be why she isn't talking to you very much anymore.
My only advice is...Give her the space that she needs. I'm not suggesting that you avoid her. If she wants to be friends and talk, then be friends and talk. But I don't think that now is the time to be discussing a possible get back together.
As for, how could you make it all up to her? Well, that depends...It sounds like you feel guilty for something. If you are, you should apologize, not just so that she will know, but so that you will also feel better. Once you've apologized, leave it at that. Let her make the next move.
Sorry if I wasn't much help, and that it took me so long to reply :( Sorry, sorry, sorry! Wishing you the very best...Adieu ;)
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Sometimes I feel like the guys our age are so immature. I can honestly say I'm not the prettiest girl in my school, but is that really all that counts nowadays? Some of the girls that the guys I know go out with are dimwits who can't tell the difference between 1 and 2 and still the guys fall for them because they have looks. Sometimes I feel like working for the grades just aren't worth it even though I know they are. What do you think?
I think...
Don't worry. Right now, your grades are a lot more important than boys. Keep working hard to make good grades, you need to get the most of out your education...Not for your parents either. For yourself. The better educated you are, the more you will know and the easier your life will be.
Yes, some boys don't care if you are smart, so long as your pretty. But those boys are also very horny. (No offense to you guys out there :P) They just want to be physically intimate with these pretty girls, not build a relationship. They are also rather fickle, tiring of one girl quickly, dumping her, then moving onto the next pretty girl.
However, boys grow up eventually and become men. When a boy becomes a man, he's not just looking to get into your pants anymore. He's looking for someone to love. And really, he doesn't want some easy girl, or one without a brain. He would like a girl that he knows he can trust...and have an intelligent conversation with.
So...Yeah...Just don't worry about it :D
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hey - well, i have been reading your advice, i think it's wonderful. :) and i was hoping you could help me with my.. "problem".
this is kind of a long story, it started like.. exactly a year ago, actually. i met this guy named "tom" through a mutual friend last summer. we spent a lot of time together, with other people and by ourselves. i think at some point i started to really like him, and he started to really like me. so we started dating, but it took the whole summer for it to get to that, and by august, school was starting. i was going into 8th grade, so was he, but at a different school. we decided to take a break, since we are going to the same highschool. so we broke up.. it was really hard on me, i honestly thought i was falling for him. well we stopped talking, took a long break.. well long for me, i think it was actually about 2 months. by october though, we started talking again, online, on the phone, and we even hung out some. of course feelings started coming back, for both of us.. i thought i was in love with him, and he told me he loved me. i was so happy.. now remember, i was 13 then, he had just turned 14.. we're young kids, so this is a big deal.
we dated for a while, until january came around.. we broke up, because "he was confused, he needed to sort out his feelings". i'm not gonna lie, i was heartbroken.. literally, i didn't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. i guess i tried to get over it and move on, but he still treated me the same.. almost like he was leading me on or something.. but then one night he told me he still loved me and always would, he was just still confused. well i loved him too, but i didn't want to wait around for him, i guess.. so i started dating this other guy, and well that just fell right through, because i started talking to tom again, and i felt guilty. so a month or so went by and we just kind of kept in contact, but just as friends.. except everyone knew it was more then that. well we just kind of kept it like that for a while.
then, in february, i got to know one of his really good friends.. and i thought i had feelings for him, plus i wanted to move on from tom. it went great for about two months, he was a great boyfriend.. but the thing is, he always wanted to hang out with me, but he would always BRING tom.. it was really hard on me, and on tom, i could tell... and he would always get frusterated with me because i didnt want to hang out with him when tom was around. i decided to break it off, because it just wasn't working out.
so now, it's may, and i've been seeing more and more of tom again. i still love him, i always have, and we've been through so much. all of my friends and all of his friends know we love eachother, i think we just have trouble admitting it to eachother.. or like he has trouble admitting it to me i guess. he tells me when we're by ourselves. just last night, he told me, "i love you a lot.. but sometimes i have my doubts, like when i don't see you for a long time, or when i don't talk to you for a while." i don't know what to make of this. honestly, he is so good to me.. we're best friends, we tell eachother everything.. and next year we're going to the same school, so in some ways i think it will be a lot easier to be together. i know i'm only 14, a lot of people think i'm too young for love.. but i know i love tom. do you have any advice? i'm sorry this is so long.. it's just a long story i guess. any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you so much!!
love, alex.
Sometimes...the longer, the better. Gives me a better idea of what is going on. So...No problem ;) And thank you for the compliment.
I have to admit, when I read your question, I was reminded of my ex-boyfriend. We broke up a total of about four times, the first two times, he dumped me. His reason was very similiar. "I love you, I just have doubts about our relationship." I understand your confusion, and I understand how you are feeling right now.
Speaking from experience, I would like to first express my concerns. At the end of my relationship, I felt...Well, I knew he cared about me, and I know that he was confused. I know that part of his confusion was caused him feeling unsure of whether or not he wanted, and was ready for a relationship. Not only do I think that he was not prepared for a relationship, I think that in truth...While he did care, and thought that he loved me, he really didn't. If he had, I think our relationship would have been very different.
I think that because I have been fortunate enough to have met someone in the past who showed me what it was like to really be wanted. He talked to me...everyday. Not out of obligation, but because he simply wanted to. He accepted me for who I was, never tried to change me. He praised my good qualities and never talked down to me, even when I said or did something wrong. And he wanted to spend his free time with me. He was willing to drive across two states just to see me. And he missed me while I was away.
My ex-boyfriend...didn't do any of those things. He said the words, but he didn't mean them. Otherwise, he wouldn't have had doubts. And he wouldn't have treated me like his possession. I always felt like I was just his pretty little doll. When he was lonely he took me off the shelf and played with me until he lost interest. Then he would put me back up on the shelf until he was feeling lonely again. While I was on the shelf, I was the one who felt lonely. All relationships come with problems, but I don't think that anyone should ever feel that way.
I'm not accusing Tom of acting like my ex-boyfriend. I don't know him. It's probably very normal for him to have doubts, considering that you are both still in your teens. And I imagine that not being able to attend the same school is a big factor in your relationship, considering that you are both too young to drive.
The point of my lengthy story was to tell you how you SHOULD NOT feel. If Tom causes you to feel the way that I did, it could be that he's saying words that he really doesn't understand.
You will have to evaluate your own feelings. If you are feeling the way I did, I would suggest that you start dating someone else. Someone who will SHOW you how much they love you by doing all the things that I mentioned earlier.
If not...Well, give Tom some space and time. He needs an opportunity to sort out his own feelings, and I think that sometimes, this is best done alone. (Though I am not suggesting that you avoid him. Maybe...just try not to talk about it for a while.) Until then, you will just have to be patient. I know that's really hard.
So...Patient...Yeah. All I can suggest...try not to think about the situation too much. I know, I know. Easier said than done, right? You'll have to try to think about something else. And I'm sure you have plently to think about :) Try focusing on school, hobbies, friends, etc. When he's ready, he'll let you know...
And then, when you are both attending the same high school, I'm sure a relationship will be a lot easier to manage.
I would like to mention...Don't wait for him forever. If his lack of decisiveness begins to really bother you after giving him time to think about it, this might be your cue to move on. Just don't let this guy become the center of your universe.
Sorry if I was unable to really help. If you want to discuss the matter further, just leave a message in my inbox. I'm hoping for the best, dearie ;) Until then...Adieu :)
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Okay, I like this guy, like we've been friends for a while, we're not really good friends, but when we are around each other we have a good time. There are two reasons I haven't been around him more. One I have a boyfriend, and I REALLY love him, I feel so head over heels for him, we've went out for almost a year and I honestly think he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with because I know he loves me and he would never let anything happen to me. It's kinda like we're already married, we fight like husband and wife and everything, but we always make up.
Reason number 2 is that this guy I like is Gothic and I am... very, very far from that.. I am one of the 4 most popular girls in my class. I like this guy.. we'll call him "Sam", well Sam is so cool, he has the best personality, he doesn't act really gothic or anything, he just dresses gothic.. He's so fun to be around, and with a haircut, would be so so so Sexy. My friends know that I feel this way for them, and I don't think they'd disapprove, because they respect my feelings and everyting and if I wanted to break up with my boyfriend and be with Sam they would be okay with it.
BUT, the problem is, I'm not sure what my feelings are.. I think I might just be attracted to him because my boyfriend and I are getting really serious and I'm afraid I'll never be with anyone else and know anyone else, like love for them.. I'm just not sure what my feelings are.
Would it be terribly wwrong of me to spend a few days with Sam and see how I feel about him. I'm just scared that if I do break up with my boyfriend, which I do not want to do at all, that he may not even like me, because I don't believe in the same kind of things he does, I mean I'm not totally anti-gothic or anything, but I don't believe in the whole Satan Rocks thing, he knows that I feel that way, but don't know if it would be weird if I was with him because of the religion thing.
Please help me, I'm sorry, I know this is a really long entry, but I am in need of help- ALOT
Thanks
Well...Whether it would be right or wrong depends on what exactly you intend to do with "Sam" while you're spending time together :P If all you want to do is get to know him better, I don't see anything wrong with that. You said that the two of you are friends, but not very close...There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends and getting to know them on a deeper level.
However, beware. If your boyfriend is the jealous type, he might not like you spending time with your male friends. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. I've said this before and I will say it to you too, it's okay for your boyfriend to feel insecure. But it's not okay when he starts hurling accusations at you when you've done nothing wrong. Such insecurities should be discussed, you should re-assure him, and he should trust you.
I do see one little problem though...Whether or not it's simply attraction, can you control yourself around this person? Do you think that if you got to know him better, you could remain platonic friends until you made your decision? If not, you should seriously reconsider, because you could be endangering the relationship that you have with your boyfriend.
I also think that you should give some more thought as to why you are interested in another guy if you are so happy with your relationship. It could be as you said before. Maybe things between the two of you are getting too serious and you're afraid. But you also mentioned that the two of you fight like a married couple. While I understand that the two of you always seem to make up, are you really resolving the conflict? Or are you just having the same arguement over and over again? I really can't even venture a guess at what is causing you to have second thoughts, I don't know you or your boyfriend, or what your relationship it like. I only have about a page of information to go on. So this is something that you are going to have to investigate yourself.
When you have evaluated your current relationship, and gotten to know this Sam fellow better, you will be better prepared to make your decision. Just remember...Often, when our relationships get rough, we tend to forget how rewarding they really are, and start to think that things would be a lot easier with someone else. Not true. Every relationship, no matter how successful, requires hard work and persistance. Because every relationship comes with it's own set of obstacles. So...While you may be imagining that you would happier with Sam instead of your boyfriend, remember that this is someone that you don't know very well, and who you have not had to work trough and trails and tribulations with. Not suggesting that you avoid Sam, but I'm not suggesting that you dump your boyfriend either. Just give the matter some serious thought and take your time.
Hope it works out well. Best wishes ;) Adieu :)
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Were you on the site Kiwibox?
Nope. Sorry :)
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im a witch and i m trying to be a christian, i just went to this teen revial {aquire the fire} and felt all on fire for God, and then i just played 'light as feather w/my coven. am i stupid for trying to do both? do i have to be one or another? can i be both? so confused....
First, I would simply like to state that you aren't going to find a clear answer on this website. (Or anywhere else for that matter.) It's the nature of your question. All the Christians are going to say that you should repent and follow one path, their path. All of the open-minded people are going to tell you to do what you feel is best. And the atheists, well...They'll just tell you not to worry about it because there is no such thing as God :P And so, you'll end up just being more confused than you all ready are.
My advice: stop asking other people what to believe. All religions agree on at least one principle: that the creator (whoever or whatever it might be) gave you a free will. That free will was given to you so that you may choose your own path in this life. There are many paths in this world? Which one is the right one? Can you only follow one?
Contrary to whatever people may say, no one really knows for sure. We won't until we're dead, and then it will be far too late to tell the world about what we've learned. All we can do in this lifetime is BELIEVE.
Ultimately, what you believe is YOUR choice and no one else should have a say in the matter. You must choose your path. If you feel inclined to choose more than one, well you have the will to do that. Remember, it is your God given right to do whatever you want with your life.
Oh...And I would just like to mention...The belief that witchcraft is evil...Comes from a scripture in the Old Testament. Some scholars believe that this was originally written to discredit the older religions that were founded before the Jewish religion was born. Could be. Certainly gave a lot of Christians an excuse to persecute people who were still creater by the creator and who's lives should still be respected as valuable.
Not trying to bash Christianity either :) I believe in Christ too, and I respect a lot of his teachings. My opinion is...I think he's probably mortified that we're killing each other in his name, and so busy arguing about religion and rules that we've forgotten that the reason religion was invented is so that the creator and the creation could have a relationship together.
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my friend has this boy friend who is cutting himself and inking it (pouring ink all over the cut) because he wants to die and he is in a mental hospital right now and my friend likes him alot because he cares about her more than her step dad cause he beats and rapes her. well my friend said if this guy dies she is going to kill herself and ive tried talking to her but she wont listen and she still wants to kill herself if her bf dies. plz help
I'm with elscorcho96. You need to tell someone, right NOW! Could be a trusted family member, teacher, counsellor, authority figure, etc.
The reason why I say this...Speculating about whether or not her step-father still rapes her, or whether you think she will kill herself or not...Doesn't matter. If you decide she's lying...What if you are wrong? She could still be suffering from sexual abuse, she could still be suicidal. Both her and her boyfriend need to seek the intervention of the authorities and professional help. Period. To not tell anyone would just be plain careless and dangerous.
And I would also like to mention...People who commit sex crimes, typically, they don't just do it once. The crime itself is a manifestation of a serious mental illness, and the behavior will continue to exist as long as the person is mentally ill. If they do it once, they'll probably do it again.
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this might sound a little dumb, but i need to know. see, my family's Catholic, but i haven't had my first comunion or anything, and i almost never go to church. i have NEVER read the Bible. i don't know all those stories my friends talk about adam and eve or anything. so for example, when i forget that i'm not suppoed to eat meat at that time of year or something, my friends ask me "aren't you Catholic? you're not supposed to be eating meat." so i just say i don't really have a religion. is that ok? or is that bad? i really do believe in God and have faith in him, but technically i can't say i'm catholic if i know nothing about this religion. i have no idea what it's about. also, i disagree on certain things i've HEARD the religion believes. am i right or what? just tell me what you think about this situation...i give 5's if i like your answer...if it's not dumb.
Sounds logical to me. If I hadn't participated in any Catholic rituals, if I didn't know what they believed, or their rules, and if I didn't agree with some of their principles, I wouldn't claim to be a member of that religion either.
Infact, I don't tell people that I belong to any type of religious order either. I know all about Christianity, Wicca, Buddhism, and a few other religions. I agree with some of their principles, I disagree with others. I've adopted some of their beliefs and practices for my own. But I don't associate myself with any religion.
If you believe in God, that's fantastic. Doesn't mean you have to belong to any particular religion though. God gave you a brain and a will of your own. You can decide what you believe and how you worship for yourself. Remember, religion isn't nearly so important as the relationship between you and your creator.
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I really appreciate anyone who decides to read this and help me, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.
I've been in a relationship, on and off with a boy for two years now - I'm just about to turn 18, while he's just about to turn twenty. For most of our being together our relationship has been really unstable, him always unsure if he wanted to be with me. I look back at myself and wonder why I spent so many nights worrying and letting myself become so attached.
We had what was supposed to be our 'final breakup' right around New Year's eve. I was hurt, and we were split for a little over a month, and started talking again. Not too long after, we started actually becoming connected in all of the ways we hadn't been before. To be honest, right now I'd have to say that he's probably my best friend, and we share everything with eachother. This is probably the best our relationship has ever been, and I should be loving every minute of it.
The problem? While we were split, I got to know a friend of his, *Jeffery, really well. This is someone who has betrayed my boyfriend in the past, there are shaky feelings between them although they still see eachother occasionally. I got to know Jefferey better and better and really began to like him, and him me. I stopped talking to him for the most part because I was afraid that it would hurt my boyfriend, although we were not together at the time. After a short time I thought that I made a mistake, but by then me and my (then ex-)boyfriend had started to talk again. My boyfriend and I have been together since.
Lately, me and Jefferey have been seeing a lot of eachother through mutual friends. We still have feelings for eachother, and it has been driving me crazy. While things are going really well in my relationship with my boyfriend, I feel like I will always have this question in the back of my mind, "what if". Recently me and Jeffery were hanging out together, and he tried to kiss me. I didn't let him, and told him we shouldn't hang out anymore unless I break it off with my boyfriend. I feel like this was a horrible mistake, but I feel very insecure about breaking things off with my boyfriend, who has been so great to me during all of this. We have no secrets from eachother, and I did not cheat on him. I think that Jeffery might have 'given up' on trying to be with me, and I feel a little defeated and negative about myself. I feel like I should have been more decisive, but I don't know what to think. I wish I had gotten to know Jeffery more while I was single.
Thanks to anyone who read this long thing, and thanks doubly to anyone who offers advice. My mind is a mess over this.
Sounds a lot like what happened to me. I can't really give you any solid advice, only a few suggestions...
In my opinion, from what you've told me, it sounds to me like you and your boyfriend have managed to work through your issues. I think that this relationship has a lot of potential.
However, I also understand that after breaking up and getting back together several times, even though the two of you are now best friends, you might still be experiencing some doubts or some emotional strain. This might be contributing to your "what if..." thoughts.
Ultimately, you will have to decide. If you decide to stay together, I would suggest trying to distance yourself from Jeffery. More out of respect for your boyfriend's feelings, since this particular friend has come between him and a girlfriend in the past. Otherwise, it may be difficult for him to trust you. If you decide to break up with your boyfriend, I would also like to point out that it may be difficult to get back together later if you date this Jeffery fellow and things don't work out. He's liable to feel betrayed and not trust you anymore. Though, a clean break all together would probably be best. It could be that my guess is wrong, and if you still remain "friends" not only would Jeffery feel distrustful, but the subject of getting back together could pop up in a lot of your conversations. I know it did for me.
I don't know Jeremy, and I don't know what happened in the past. But from what you've told me, I'm growing suspicious that Jeffery can't be trusted. The reason that I say this...Trust is important, not just in a relationship, but in friendships as well. My best friend and I have an unspoken rule: we keep our hands off each other's boyfriends, ex-boyfriends included. It would be disrespectful to each other's feeling otherwise, and seriously endanger our friendship. That's a risk neither one of us is willing to take.
What I am trying to say...If Jeffery could be so inconsiderate, and throw away his friendship with your boyfriend over a girl. If he could attempt to hit on you while he knew that the two of you are together...What would stop him from being equally inconsiderate with your feelings, and throwing your relationship away when another girl came along? Like I said, I could be wrong, I don't know the guy. But not only would I give some serious thought to how valuable your current relationship is, I would consider who you would be dumping him for.
I would also like to remind you that, when you are in a relationship, no matter how successful, you will always have those thoughts. "What if this...What if that..." It's normal. There will always be some point when things when get rough and you wonder what might have been. What I have learned: value the present, value what you have. Don't second guess yourself. Because it might be that "what might have been" might not be so much better than what you have now. As the corny old saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side."
Sorry I couldn't be of more help to you. My inbox is always open...Until then...Adieu ;)
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Help im realy bored i do nothing all day except watch T.v and i have allready browsed the intire internet help!can you think of something to do I am realy realy bored!You may think that in exagerating but im not its realy an emergency.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you just need a few hobbies. (Always cures my boredom.)
So...What are you interested in? If you really like computers and the interenet, you could pick up some books about webpage design and build your own website. Do you like the outdoors? Get involved in some sort of sport. Or you could just try exercising on your own. Take a walk in the park...
If your brain is in constant need of stimuli, you could try reading. Some of my friends think that books are quite boring, but you have to remember that there are lots of different types of books. Fantasy, science-fiction, mystery, adventure, etc. Certainly you are bound to like one genre in particular.
There are arts and crafts...A lot of people think that they can't draw...You aren't born an artist, learning to draw is a learned skill. I also find it to be very stress-relieving. Same goes for other types of learned skills: writing, musical intruments, etc.
If you can't think of something in particular that they you would like for hobby, just try a bunch of different things. Figure out what you enjoy and what you don't. I'm sure you will find something a lot more stimulating than just watching television...
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I've spent the past 7 months recooperating from my last break up, my boyfriend really meant a lot to me.
Now I finally decided I'm back up for dating, and just when I decide that, I meet the most amazing boy. We spent the night together. He was so sweet, and he had all the qualities I've been looking for. When I was around him, I felt like I could just live in the moment forever, he actually made me feel like I was worth something.
He gave me his number and asked me to call him, and so I did. But he didn't pick up, three times I left messages, and he hasn't responded. I've sent him text messages, and it will take him hours to respond, mainly with only one word answers like "Cool", "Ok", "Yea", and answers like that.
I want to know, what do you guys think I should do? It's been 2 days since I last called or text messaged him. Should I try again? Or should I just give up all hope?
This was the best way for me to feel better to. (scarcasm) Finally recover from a break up, meet someone, then have them ignore me.
I'm sorry. What I am about to say will sound rather harsh. I feel like a big meanie. But hear me out...
First, what this guy is doing to you...Fairly common. (And I don't mean to offend any of you guys reading this. I know only some of you are jerks :P) He was interested, but now that he's satisfied his curiousity, well...I don't think you'll be hearing from him very much anymore. In the immortal words of Greg and Liz, "He's just not that into you."
He likes you, he just doesn't like you enough to continue dating you. Probably. Sure sounds like it to me. You might be wondering why he just doesn't go ahead and say this to your face. Well, he probably doesn't want to feel like a big meanie by saying this to you. From what I have been told, typical guy logic. (And yes, I was told this by an actual MAN.)
If he really liked you, and wanted to date you, you wouldn't have to call him. He'd probably be calling you. And he'd probably have a alot more to say than just a few words. So put down the phone. He's trying to give you a hint by not returning your calls and being short with you. You don't need to call him again, you need to move on.
Again, really sorry. I know it sucks. You've just gotten over your boyfriend and now this guy has to act like a jerk. It's not because there is anything wrong with you. It happens to all of us. Just remember that you are fantastic, and eventually some SMART guy will come along who realizes that you are fantastic too. If what's-his-face is too stupid to realize how wonderful you are, well...You didn't want to date someone with a horrendous case of brain cell defeciency anyway :D
And, as always, since you are a dating female I will suggest this book: "He's Just Not That Into You," By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. A must have for all us girls. Believe me...Takes a WHOLE LOTTA guesswork out of your interactions with the opposite sex.
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this may sound scary but lately i have these thoughts like a voice in my head saying im a satanist. i don't want to be and i try to force the thought out and think that god is my only one though it always comes back. i got this book and it had a list of all the warning signs of a satanist and i had all of them except for one. i think i am becoming a satanist. i also do witchcraft but i never did anything involving the devil. now all i can think about is becoming a satnist i need serious help. i am originally catholic. and i am a girl.
What you are, you can only become by choice. No one can make you become a follower of Satan, not even the weird voices in your head :P Just as you must CHOOSE to become a Christian, you must CHOOSE to become Satanic.
The voices in your head...Well, I've never heard voices. I have had uncontrollable, horrible thoughts though. It continued for an extended period of time too.
So, as someone who has been there and done that...I would like to tell you: 1) This isn't uncommon. 2) You are probably experiencing some form of anxiety.
Someone suggested that maybe your anxiety is caused by conflicting religious beliefs. Could be. It could also be that you are letting your own fears get way out of control.
For me, it was simply fear. I addressed the fear and did something to make myself feel better about it. When I did, the thoughts began to go away. Try acknowledging your own fears. Remember, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." If you continue to be anxious, go to your doctor. Even your family physician is fine.
And as for Wicca, well...Whether or not you think Satan is involved depends largely on what religious order you follow. Most Christians will tell you that all witches are pawns of Satan...Or something like that. They say that because of a specific scripture from the Old Testament that claims that all witchcraft is evil and a sin, that all witches who have power...That their power comes directly from the devil. (Sorry I can't remember the exact wording or what chapter. That's the basic premise, I know because I've read the Bible from cover to cover twice.)
However, scholars suggest that this rule was invented out of a need to discredit the old religions that existed before the Jewish religion was founded. Could be true. It certainly gave many Christians an excuse to persecute innocent people.
I would also like to mention that while I am not a member of any religious order, nor do I practice witchcraft, I do not believe that Wiccans are evil, and nor are their practices. I know many, many Wiccans. They are all normal, caring people who worship a dual diety, God and Goddess incarnations. (Though Wicca has many variations, it's usually something like this.) I see their practices as nothing more than a different type of ritual and prayer. All religions have different sorts of prayers and rituals. Just because one particular religion has practices different from many others, does not mean that they should be singled out and condemned. If we did that, not only would the Christians say that...Buddhists, for example are going to hell, but that they are also worshippers of Satan for practicing yoga and meditation.
My advice, don't just acknowledge your fears, but realize that how you connect with the higher power, is not as important as if you do. If you believe that your practices bring you closer to God, well...You're just praying in a different way. And remember that just because you associate yourself with a certain religion, doesn't mean that you have to believe everything that they have to say about the higher power. God gave you a brain, he intended for you to use it. He wants you to decide who he is for yourself. He wants you to believe what you believe, not just because someone else told you to believe it, but because it makes sense to you. Many paths to the higher power exist in this world, and I believe that they are all valid. I believe such because...If God does indeed know everything, then he knew before he even created us, that we would all be different. And that means different beliefs, different practices, different religions.
I know this is really long. Sorry. If you have any further questions, please leave a message in my inbox. My thoughts and prayers are with you ;) Ja!
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This boy admitted to liking me a while ago and I have recently told him I think we should just be friends. He wanted to go out with me during the summer. He doesn't listen and I think I need to run it by him again in different words...will this do?...."I need to talk to you, about this summer, I have to be honest, I don't think we should go out because I like you but not in that way and I don't think it will work out. You deserve someone who can return your affections for them. I just want to be fair with you. I'm sorry, but I want to be upfront." What do you think? and also, if u have anymore advice feel free to share the love.
I give your speech two thumbs up :D Just remember, no matter how he reacts, continue to be calm, honest, and as gentle as possible. Good luck ;)
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My uncle (and cousins) are feeling great depression. A few months ago my aunt died. Since then many things have been going downhill from there. He forgets to pick up my cousins from various acivities and hasn't been feeding them for the past few days. My older cousins (from my aunt's first marrige) have taken taken the the ones closer to my age to their apartment for a few days (I am not sure if they are back home yet). My dad went down there for the weekend to help things out but I'm not sure how much of a difference this will make. This is because I found out today my uncle has lost his job. This means it is even harder for him to surrport his kids. We were inviting the children to spend the summer up here (we still are) but now we are woried they are going to move up here. It is not that we don't want them here is is that it is hard to move your whole live to a new state a such an age they are.
Now my question is what can I do to help? Is there any advice I could have my parents give to my uncle (it would be weird taking advice from his niece)? Intelligent answers only. If y@ typ3 lyk th!$ don't answer. THank you.
I'm sorry. I know this is a really tough situation, not just for rest of your family, but you too. And I commend the fact that you want to help :)
Yes, if they do move in with you, it will be difficult, not just for your cousins, but for the rest of your household as well. What can you do to help? Well, you can be as emotionally supportive to your cousins as you can be. Be there to comfort them, be there to listen, try to be their friend. Make sure that they get out of the house on a regular basis and have fun. They're still kids, and even in the midst of this tragedy, they need to act like kids and have a childhood. Believe me, having a chance to be a child, feeling safe and secure, is important. Protect that feeling of safety and security. Let them be children...
As for your uncle, sorry to say but there is no miracle advice that will pull him out of his stupor. Everyone copes with death differently, that's what he's trying to do, though it may seem like he has given up completely...And ultimately, your uncle is the only one that can heal himself. No one else. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. I know, it sucks. We all wish we had super powers or magic wands so that we could fix other people, but people have to fix themselves. It's the way we were made dearie :)
Hopefully, losing his job, and having his children move away because he is unable to take care of them will cause him to adjust his perspective and provide the motivation he needs to start picking up the pieces of his life.
Anyway, sorry I don't have the miracle advice. But if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to leave me a note in my inbox. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...Adieu ;)
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This may be a little long, sorry.
I've been with my boyfriend [we are both 18] for almost three years. Ever since he started college, he began experimenting with pills. I honestly don't like people who mess around with drugs, and I've told him that I don't want him poppin pills. He told me he likes the feeling, and that he isn't going to stop until he wants to, whether or not I like it, and if it bothers me that much, that he wont tell me when he does it.
I'm not saying that I want to leave him or anything, but I don't like the fact that he hasn't put my feelings into consideration. He gets mad at me when I get mad at him, and I can't stand that. I'm not the one doing anything wrong, unless caring about him and his health is wrong.
I really don't know how to go about this situation, because it does make me very upset. When he goes to parties, I tend to wonder if he's doing drugs [pills] and I get mad. It's not like I can ask him either, because really, it doesn't make a difference, and I know that, and because he even said it himself, he's not going to tell me when he does it.
Now I feel that there is lack in communication and trust. between him and I. Am I being overprotective? He had said to me before, "watch when you go to college, you'll see how the world is really like, and you're going to experiment in a lot of different things." [I will be attending college this fall] But I know that I wouldn't do drugs because I live in a big city, where drugs are put out in the open, and I haven't tried anything besides weed. Besides, I absolutely HATE people who pop pills.
With that also being said, I'm beginning to feel a type of way because he is one of those people. I don't hate him though and I don't want to end a three year relationship with him just because he is taking pills. I just don't know what to do or say to him anymore.
Please help. Any advice is welcomed. Thank you.
Okay, first of all, I'm going to take his "real world" speech and throw it out the window. While a lot of people do experiment with drugs during college, a lot of people don't. I'm one of them. Not like I'm a "goody-goody" and haven't been offered either. So the next time he says this to you, call him on it. It's a sorry excuse and a load of BS.
I know that you've invested a lot of time into this relationship, that you care about your boyfriend, and that you don't want to break up with him. But...since I have been there, done that, I can honestly say that I think this is the beginning of the end for the two of you. Sorry, I know it's harsh. But like I said, been there, done that.
You're right. He didn't take your feelings into consideration. And you can't trust him anymore. He basicly told you this to your face. These are two big red flags, please don't ignore them.
And there is nothing you will every be able to do to get him to quit. He told you this too.
So...Is this who you want to be with? An addict who doesn't care about your feelings, who you can't trust.
I hope not. I hope not because you sound like a girl with her head screwed on straight. I bet you have a lot going for you, and you deserve the best. Don't settle for less than you deserve, and don't allow him to ruin your life with his addiction.
I know I sound like a big meanie. Like I said, I'm sorry. The only reason why I am being brutally honest is because I used to date an alcholic, and I don't want you to experience all the emotional anguish that I did. Please, save yourself...
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random question, but if you marry your highschool sweetheart right after senior year and before college, is that a bad thing? like will that cause problems with being married and going to school at the same time?
and basically is it bad to just get married at that age in general? is it hard to handle money, buying homes, etc?
because I really want to ask my beautiful girlfriend that I've known my whole love to marry me, but I don't want it to cause problems.
Well...No. But I think that you ought to wait, and here is why...
1) I'm not trying to talk down to you, but your still young. Your personality is still developing. You are going to change a lot in the next four years, and so is she.
For example, I'm twenty-two years old and I know that I've changed A LOT in the past four years. And I'm still changing. Who knows what I will be like when I'm thirty? If I had been married...Well, I think that I would probably be a very different person, not necessary better, not necessarily worse. But I feel like I would have missed out on a lot of very valuable life experiences, so I might not know as much about myself and what I want...as I do now.
2) Yes, being married and going to school might cause some serious time issues. You'd both probably have to hold down jobs to pay your bills, and go to school full-time if you want to graduate in four years. Then there is homework...I think the two of you would have a really hard time spending quality time together, and that your marriage might suffer.
3) As for money and homes...Money is going to be a problem because your aren't going to be able to find a lot of really, really great jobs with just a high school education. Not to mention, the high paying jobs want you be relatively flexible, your school schedule would pose a definite problem. As for the home, well...that depends. Have you established good credit? If not, buying a home would be difficult...nearly impossible. I only ask most eighteen year olds, while they don't have bad credit, they just don't have any credit at all...Sometimes not having any credit can be just as bad as having no credit.
So, in summary, I think that if you married your girlfriend right out of highschool, yeah...That would create a lot of problems, for the both of you. That doesn't mean that you can't marry her though.
And so, I would like to introduce you to an alternate route: buy an engagement ring. Set a wedding date for AFTER the both of you graduate from college. That way, you'll both have an opportunity to grow, you won't be causing yourself any extra problems, and you'll both be better prepared to provide for yourselves.
Either way, I hope that everything goes well for you both :) Adieu ;)
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i've been having these dreams, about breaking up with my bf. and i know i never want to do that. i love him with all my heart. then i have other dreams where hes cheating on me. i cant help but let these dreams get to me b/c its not what i want. i see him once every couple weeks and i miss him terribly, and i know some of you might say "maybe you dont want a long distance relationship" but thats not it. we've been together for a while and yes i dont like it but i would never break up with him b/c of that. hes too important to me. i dont know whats going on but i want these dreams to stop but i dont know how. and i refuse to break up with my b/f. i would literaly die first. please help. thanks.
Often, sunconcious fears and worries manifest in your dreams. I know this is true for me. If I have a particularly disturbing dream, I can usually analyze it myself, and then deduce what caused me to dream up that particular scenario.
For example, I once dreamt that a close friend of mine was trying to kill me. I was walking out of a restuarant with another friend, and I saw him standing across the street, beside his car. I knew that he was stalking me, and that he intended to do me serious physical injury. I ran, and he pursued...
In reality, I know that my friend would never hurt me deliberately. He would not even so much as step on my toe intentionally. So where did this nonsense come from?
At the time, our friendship was changing...And I was afraid that he would hurt me emotionally. This emotional threat that I felt in reality, translated itself into a physical threat in my dream.
What I am trying to get at it this...Maybe the distance is causing some emotional strain. While you obviously care about this person, and don't want to end the relationship, it could be that you are afraid that you will eventually break up, or that he might be cheating on you. Such worries may be unwarranted.
I'm NOT suggesting that you dump your boyfriend. I'm suggesting that you address the deeper concerns that you have about your relationship with him. If you feel that such worries are unneccessary, fine. If not, you need to have a discussion about your relationship, and where it is going.
Best of luck ;) Adieu...
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