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uncle's depression
My uncle (and cousins) are feeling great depression. A few months ago my aunt died. Since then many things have been going downhill from there. He forgets to pick up my cousins from various acivities and hasn't been feeding them for the past few days. My older cousins (from my aunt's first marrige) have taken taken the the ones closer to my age to their apartment for a few days (I am not sure if they are back home yet). My dad went down there for the weekend to help things out but I'm not sure how much of a difference this will make. This is because I found out today my uncle has lost his job. This means it is even harder for him to surrport his kids. We were inviting the children to spend the summer up here (we still are) but now we are woried they are going to move up here. It is not that we don't want them here is is that it is hard to move your whole live to a new state a such an age they are.
Now my question is what can I do to help? Is there any advice I could have my parents give to my uncle (it would be weird taking advice from his niece)? Intelligent answers only. If y@ typ3 lyk th!$ don't answer. THank you.
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I am sure they are all feeling really bad right now. Your uncle probably isn't used to doing all those household things. When he does them now it probably reminds him of your aunt. It takes some people longer than others to get over missing someone you love. I really don't know what you can do to help. If the cousins come for the summer you can help keep them entertained, and be a shoulder for them to cry on. If your uncle has a lot of this stuff on his mind, they may be feeling a little left out and sad. With luck your uncle will find a new job soon and his life and theirs will get back to normal. :)
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The only thing that you really can do is be there for your cousins. They are going through a really rough time and they might need to talk to someone that they can trust just try to be there for them and let them know that they can talk to you and trust you. As for your uncle he is obviously taking this very hard. All your parents can really do is try to talk to him. He needs the support of his family right now. I think that it would be a very good idea to maybe give him some time alone like your dad is trying to do that will give him some time to think about things and sort things out. It will also give your cousins a place to go where they can go and have support. Your parents just need to make sure that your uncle knows that they will be there for him when he needs it.
Good luck and I hope things get better for your uncle and your cousins
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I'm sorry. I know this is a really tough situation, not just for rest of your family, but you too. And I commend the fact that you want to help :)
Yes, if they do move in with you, it will be difficult, not just for your cousins, but for the rest of your household as well. What can you do to help? Well, you can be as emotionally supportive to your cousins as you can be. Be there to comfort them, be there to listen, try to be their friend. Make sure that they get out of the house on a regular basis and have fun. They're still kids, and even in the midst of this tragedy, they need to act like kids and have a childhood. Believe me, having a chance to be a child, feeling safe and secure, is important. Protect that feeling of safety and security. Let them be children...
As for your uncle, sorry to say but there is no miracle advice that will pull him out of his stupor. Everyone copes with death differently, that's what he's trying to do, though it may seem like he has given up completely...And ultimately, your uncle is the only one that can heal himself. No one else. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. I know, it sucks. We all wish we had super powers or magic wands so that we could fix other people, but people have to fix themselves. It's the way we were made dearie :)
Hopefully, losing his job, and having his children move away because he is unable to take care of them will cause him to adjust his perspective and provide the motivation he needs to start picking up the pieces of his life.
Anyway, sorry I don't have the miracle advice. But if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to leave me a note in my inbox. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...Adieu ;)
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Wow. They are really in a tough spot. Just tell your cousins that everything will be okay. Give them someone they can confide in. I think that it is great what your dad is trying to do for them. Just do what you think is right. Hope it turns out all right!
~oxkatekaylaxo
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