What if taking yourself out of the picture is the only chance the preciouse little ones have of being reunited with their family. Is not suicide a viable option and the best and logical choice? After all they are well worth the small sacrefice.....
Suicide is never the answer. Period. Please visit this website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/?gclid=CJrutYq2m6oCFRBS7Aodk0WAvg and call the number provided. I don't know what the situation is with you and the children that you mentioned, but I'm sure that the professionals you speak too will be able to direct you to someone that can help. Please call. You are in my thoughts...
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I am going for my gyno visit this week. I'm a bit nervous about some things. I am 19 years old and am sexually active. My mother does not know this.... and would kill me if she knew. The only reason I am going is because I have a persistent yeast infection. Anyway they said I need to come in a half hour early to fill out paper work. Are they going to ask me about my sexual history in the paper work, because my mom will be with me and I can't write that down with her next to me....What should I do? And when they call me into the room will they make my mom leave if she follows me there? I want to be honest with the doctor I just can't let my mom know....
I don't remember this question being in the paper-work... I'm pretty sure every form I filled out concerned basic information like name/address/etc, insurance information, and they might ask you about your medical history or any medication that you are taking.
When you are called to go back... Just tell your mom that you would prefer to go alone. Really, this is not an unreasonable request. Going to the OBGYN is awkward and embarrassing the first time, and it's reasonable to assume that you wouldn't want a witness. Once you are alone with the nurse and the doctor, you can tell them the truth about your sexual history. To them, it is not a big deal. Not only that, they will not talk to your mom about anything you discuss... It's actually against the law to do so without your permission.
Don't sweat it. It'll be okay. ;)
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ok so i was at camp and on the last day was my period.i borrowed pads from a friend but i cant seem to tell my mom. she's super wierd about it. i dont want 4 her to be all exited and telling all her friends.plz give me a good idea of how u2 tell her without freaking out cuz im "becoming a woman". p.s. i"m 11
You are going to have to tell your mom... Even if you don't, she's going to figure it out eventually anyway.
This doesn't need to be a big deal. You could say: "Mom, I started my period. While I understand that you may be excited because I am growing up and becoming a woman, I'm sort of embarrassed. I would appreciate it if you kept this our little secret."
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can you use finanical aid money or college loan money to purchase a laptop/your books? if so how?
Yes, you can. Infact, that is what student loans exist for... To help you with college fees, living expenses, and anything you may need for school which includes a computer and books.
Getting a student loan is pretty easy. Visit your financial aid office on campus for help with this process. Once you've applied for and accepted your loan, the funds will first be sent to the school and whatever is left after tuition and fees are paid will be issued to you in the form of a refund. I don't know how your school works, but the college I attend gives you the option of having your refund directly deposited into your account so you get your money faster. Once this money is in your personal bank account, you may do with it as you please.
Good luck with college!
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i need sum advice i have a boyfriend of 7months and just recently in these past two months he has expressed huge ammonts of anger towards me. i dont know what is causing him to be this way and he tells me he dosnt know why he does it either.
examples of these things – he starts in a joke that i am cheating and from there he gets worse into it and starts making statements that i am screwing around at me job or if i go somewhere without him that i have been with another guy. he constatly tells me i am being “bitchy” and has that i have a atitutted and starts going off on me about how i am acting when i could just be sitting and not saying a word. during those moments i try so hard not to say anything to him. usually i end up in tears and i am made to answer him otherwise he keeps screaming at me.
ever time i ask him why he says those things to me he tells me he dosent know.
i dont know what to do other then to keep my mouth shut towards him. he tells me to leave him and tells me to find sumone else. i dont know why he says that to me as well. if i agree with him he gets upset and asks me if i am leaving him and why.
no matter how many times i have asked him to stop he goes on about either how its all his fault like usually or he tells me that i have changed and its all me. im confused and lost on this matter.. we have very few good days any more.. he has apoligized to me after i have broken down and cried cause i cant handle what hes saying to me. its like a light switch one minute were just fine the the next hes going off at me then hes just fine again and wants me to get close then he gets mad at me that i am still upset about what had just happened. like he expects me to just brush it off. he has told me he would stop but goes right back to doing it again. he tells me he loves me but also tells me that i need to start showing him that i love him. i honestly feel that he is the one that needs to show me he loves me cause i dont feel like he does.
(i am also 27 and a mother of 3 kids)
RUN!!!
I'm dead serious. This is the type of behavior that occurs before a relationship becomes physically abusive. Just because he hasn't hit you yet doesn't mean that he won't sooner or later. And the longer you stay the more difficult it will become for you to leave.
I don't know whether or not you live on your own, with family, or with him. Whatever the case, PLEASE visit this website: http://www.thehotline.org/. It is the website for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. There are phone numbers you can call if you do not have regular internet access. These people can advise you whatever your situation and provide resources and shelter for you if you do not have anywhere else to go.
Please, please, please, for your safety and the safety of your children call them as soon as you possibly can.
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I am a 20 year old female. I have an oval face, but I'm overweight, so my face is actually between oval and round (definately more oval shaped though!) I used to suffer from Trichotillomania, but with a lot of hard work, I have stopped pulling. My hair is utterly damaged. Very thin on the left side. I want to cut my hair to a length that will allow healthy hair to emerge, but I'm super afraid of trying any kind of haircut above my ears. I usually get a bob cut, so I have thought about allowing my stylist to cut it shorter than usual. What are your thoughts? I do have dreams of having beautiful, long, healthy hair, but I know that this takes time.
I don't know what to tell you about cutting your hair, but I can recommend something that will help your hair grow back. When my grandmother was taking chemotheraphy medication a lot of her hair fell out. She said something to her doctor about it and her doctor told her to try taking folic acid. You can buy folic acid at your local super-market, it's in the vitamin section. (It's not expensive and you just swallow a capsule every day.) Since she started taking it on a regular basis her hair is starting to grow back in a lot of the bald spots.
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i am a very hard worker,i study very hard,i practice n practice the things,even then during the exam i get nervous,i cannot even recall the important formulas which i would have used many times,revised many times,when this happens i feel very nervous,my heartbeat suddenly becomes fast,i get some sort of vomiting feeling,i am not able to know why the things i used to practice almost daily ,are not even rememred my me during the exam..n after the exam i come to know that this formula would have been used there n this thing i remember by myself only after the exam...sorry i am an indian,if there are any grammatical errors.bt please help me...my result is not good because of this..
Calm down... You have test anxiety. It's pretty common. Infact, the girl that sat next to me last semester during political science had test anxiety, though her's was probably mild compared to yours.
Visit your school counselor. Your counselor can recommend some practices that may reduce your anxiety, or, if your anxiety is really severe, might be able to refer you to a doctor. You may also want to discuss your anxiety with your teachers. While they may not be able to do anything to help your anxiety, they may be able to help you raise your grade if it's been lowered by some bad test scores. (Ask for extra credit assignments or if you can retake the exams you scored lowest on.)
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I am in my 20s and have always had problems with anxiety, depression,
low self-esteem and eating disorders. I feel like I experienced sexual
abuse at such an early age that I have no memory of it. Sometimes I wonder
though if I'm just trying to find one specific reason for all of my issues
and sexual abuse seems to make sense but maybe I'm just crazy.
Here is a list of factors about myself that are concerning to me...
-bed-wetting until about 10 years old
-I was an only child and was very distant and quiet
-earliest memories of masturbating to sexual fantasies around 3 or 4
-I would frequently get caught masturbating by family members as a child
and was subsequently scolded and/or whipped
-I have memories of acting out graphic sexual fantasies with a friend around age 7
-I have a memory of being caught masturbating during nap-time at preschool at age 4
-I have memories of sexual fantasies played out by familiar cartoon characters
-compulsive binge-eating began in early childhood around age 4
-hair-pulling/trichotilomania began around age 7
-frequent vaginal yeast infections in early childhood
-earliest memories of suicidal ideation around age 7
-When I first started have sex at age 15 I experienced a great deal of vaginal pain
which continued for years until I became more comfortable with sex and my long-term
boyfriend which leads me to believe it was probably psychogenic
Even if I was sexually abused but don't remember it, should I even bother trying to remember or delve into this further? Would this make everything worse or be the key to unlocking the solution to my problems and allow me to move forward? And if it happened and I never do remember, am I doomed to suffer PTSD-like symptoms forever or can you treat those symptoms without addressing the possible root cause?
I don't think anyone on this site can answer your question for sure.
What I will share is that I witnessed a couple having sex when I was probably 2 or 3. It was such a traumatic experience that I still remember it to this day. I didn't understand what was happening... I thought he was hurting her and I think that upset me more anything. I don't know if that is what happened to you, but it's something to consider.
I will also tell you that some of the things you listed are more common than you think they are. For example, babies and young children can get frequent yeast infections and sex has nothing to do with it. I experienced vaginal pain for a number of years after I lost my virginity. Also, around 7-9 years of age, a lot of children will experience something akin to a type of sexual curiousity. When I was around that age, I would often strip, sometimes with my best friend, and lay on top of stuffed animals. My mother didn't know how common this was and often over-reacted to the situation. I was also a distant, quiet, only child.
What concerns me is the suicidal thoughts at age seven. Whether or not you're having suicidal thoughts now, I would consider under-going some type of counseling (especially if you're really worried about this). In my opinion, counseling can only do good. It may be emotionally exhausting to dig deep and find the root of the problem, but I think you'll be better off in the long run.
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I really have a feeling that my step brother and his friend have hooked up a secret camera in my room. I know, it sounds crazy but you would have to know them to know why I feel like this. I feel like I have no privacy in my room. How can I know if there really is a camera in my room and what are the signs to look for in having one in your room? I want to confront my mom about it but I want to know for sure before I talk to anyone about it!
Search your room thoroughly. You may just be paranoid (though I'm not saying you don't have reason to be, I don't know these guys). If there is a camera in your room, you'll know it when you see it. If there isn't, you should probably go to your mom anyway.
When I say go to your mom, I don't mean accusing your step-brother of anything. Maybe you should just explain to her that you don't feel like you have a lot of privacy. If there is a specific reason that you're feeling this way, maybe you should tell her. As long as you try to stay calm and reasonable about it, talking about how YOU FEEL and without accusing your step-brother of any wrong-doing... Well, I think your mom will probably listen more carefully and try to work with you to reach a solution.
I suspect the problem might be... Are you afraid he's going in there when you're not around? If so, maybe you could ask your mom if she would buy a lock with a key for your bedroom door. These are fairly inexpensive and easy to install. She would probably be more comfortable with that idea if you suggested that she keep a copy of the key somewhere safe, just in case she needs to get in your room for whatever reason. You may even want to tell her that, as long as your home, you'll keep the door unlocked, only locking it when you leave the house.
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No matter which girl I date, Once I have met their father, I feel as if they are going to rape them. It's an odd fear I've developed and I don't know why. I've never been raped. Nor have I dated a girl whose father raped them.(That I know of) But I feel like I have to watch their fathers and be sure that he doesn't get fresh and doesn't do anything sexual with them. Yet I don't mind her having male friends or hanging around other guys without me. Just their father.
How is your relationship with YOUR father? While you may not have been subjected to any type of sexual abuse, other types of abuse (physical/verbal/mental) as well as neglect or abandonment may be contributing to your trust issues.
If it makes you feel any better... I'm a heterosexual female and I have never been sexually abused. However, when I was younger, I remember feeling the same way while visiting some of my friend's houses. For example, I had a friend named Samantha that I spent a lot of time with. Her step-father never did or said anything that could be considered inappropriate to my knowledge, but whenever he was around I would get a serious case of the creepies. (Honestly, her whole family kind of struck me as odd.)
I believe I felt this way because I was abandoned by my natural father and was never able to really bond with my step-father. Bonding with and trusting men has always been difficult for me. It required a concentrated effort on my part to overcome this particular obstacle in my romantic relationships.
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If i compare mine to others, i have a good life, but sometimes I get really sad. I know what sometimes causes it like my parents making me feel like I only do things wrong, my friends saying stuff behind my back then acting like it was a joke, and feeling like I'm worthless. I try to stay positive, but it rarely works. I always end up thinking about the bad stuff and I can never get it out. It's like all my imperfections in my life and me are mocking me. A year and a half ago, I got so depressed that I resorted to cutting myself. I crumbled to the pain I constantly felt. And I couldn't talk to anybody about it. I can't tell my parents about it because they think that i'm too dramatic. Maybe I am, but I can't help it. I've stopped doing that, but when I have free time, I just think about all the crap that I've done and that's been said and thrown at me. I don't know how to stop it. I know I have to do it myself because nobody in my life understands. I feel so alone and empty. what should i do?
I'm guessing you're in school still? If so, please visit your school counselor as soon as possible. While mild depression is common among teenagers, what you are suffering from may be a clinical condition and require professional treatment.
If you are not in school, visit your primary care physician or look for counselors in your area. (If you're worried about cost, group counseling often costs much less.) While your primary care physician can not provide you with complete treatment, your doctor can be a valuable partner in your recovery and refer you to a therapist.
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i need help whats the age limit to work anywhere were pay is good. im am 11 so i doubt that there is any job for me. i just need the cash so i can buy my own xbox 360 and in games cause my mum isnt lending my money anymore.
P.S- i live in australia
In America, while eleven year olds are not legally permitted to work for a company... Most kids around your age do odd jobs if they need extra cash. Nothing too crazy... Stuff like baby-sitting, mowing lawns, raking leaves, and stuff like that.
Have you thought about maybe asking your mom if you could do some chores around the house? Maybe she would be willing to give you some money if you're helping her out. When I was your age, as long as I kept my room clean, emptied the dishwasher, vacuumed and dusted every couple weeks, my parents gave me a pretty good allowance to spend. If I was looking to buy something particular and was a little short, they'd "advance" me some money, which simply meant that whatever I needed would be deducted from my next allowance.
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Im 21 and I have not gotten a period yet and im also having sex, what can I do to make me get my frist period help please........
Have you been to the OBGYN yet? I know you haven't started your period yet, and that's when most people go... But I've heard that when you turn eighteen you should start making annual appointments. Not only that, a doctor will have a better chance of being able to tell you with certainty what is going on.
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What birth control pills do you use.
I started on Loestrin, which worked really well. I had to switch because of health insurance issues and now I use Gildess. It works about the same.
Honestly, the best thing to do, if you're thinking about going on birth control... Go to the OBGYN and ask your doctor to recommend something for you. That's what I did and I'm pretty happy.
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16/f so I have alwayz had fantasies of being with another girl, ever since I was 12 I even get turned on when I read/see things about lesbians. I started going to a new school in march and has had a crush on a girl in particular like love at first sight we see eachother more than usual I even save her a seat on the bus and she most of he time sits next to me I know shes lesbian and she shares only a selection of the same friends I do im scared to talk to her when I see her even once or twice she was alone and i couldnt push myself to do it so now what do I do when school starts back next month
I know our society is very preoccupied with this whole sexual orientation thing... But honestly, I think people just need to calm down.
A lot of things could be going on with you right now. Yes, you might be bisexual. Or, you may just be bi-curious. It's more common than you think for girls to develop crushes on other girls while they are young, only to grow up and date men because they realize that they are heterosexual. This may or may not be the case with you... However, whatever your sexual orientation is or ends up becoming, that is okay. :)
At sixteen, you do not have to commit to a sexual orientation. (You don't have to commit to one when you are older either.) The teenage years are a period of self-discovery. You are just now figuring out who you are and what you like, and even that may change in the years to come. Don't think that you have to make a decision right now or define yourself in definite terms.
So my advice is: relax and take your time. If you like this girl and you want to talk to her, feel free to do so. Talking to her doesn't mean that you have to date her.
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I have always been really shy ever since I was little. My whole life i've gotten questions like "why are you so quiet?" or "do you ever talk?" when people ask me these questions it makes me feel like I'm weird and makes me even more self cautious, why do people think asking those kind of questions is going to get a person to open up? It just makes me more quiet. It's like being quiet is the only thing people see me as. So I want to know, in your opinion do you think being quiet is a good or bad thing? Do you prefer loud or quiet people? What is something I can when people ask me why I'm quiet w/o being rude?
I too was the quiet kid. Everyone used to say things like: "You don't talk much. Why are you so quiet? Are you okay? What's the matter?"
It's okay to be quiet and being quiet definitely has it's advantages. I would bet money that you are an awesome listener and probably more observant than the average person. Those are great qualities to have and will really pay off later in life. (Trust me. I KNOW.)
The reason most people ask you questions like this is because they are either trying to start a conversation with you but can't think of anything better to say, or they may be concerned about your silence. The best thing to do might be to smile at them and tell the truth... Something like, "I don't have much to say."
The problem with being shy often is that a lot of people tend to misunderstand it. What I mean by that is that sometimes, if you don't talk to people, instead of assuming that you're shy, they will think that you don't want to talk to them.
Getting over shyness isn't easy, but please don't be discouraged. If you try and keep at it, you will really open up. I say this because it happened to me. I used to be painfully, painfully shy until my first job. My first job was in customer service so I had to talk to people all the time. What I learned is that, most of the time, if you talk to people they will talk back. You don't even have to be a great conversationalist. You don't even need to really talk about yourself. Ask people a lot of general questions and they will talk your ear off.
So, don't worry too much about being quiet. Chances are, as you get older, you'll learn to be more social and gain more confidence. It takes some people longer than others, but whatever you do, don't give up. ;)
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My parents are divorced, so of course they have moved on. My dad has a new girlfriend who he spends all his time with when he's not working. he's never really been a dad to my sister and I so it's nothing new. He works 6 days a week, sunday being his only day off. It's a one way street with my dad and I. If I don't call him, I would go weeks with out hearing from him. I put in all the effort to have a relationship with him. He lives in the neighborhood next to mine, but sadly our relationship is completely over the phone.
My mom has a new boyfriend who works on a tug boat which means he's on four days off four days, I have a lot of alone time with my mom but I still feel like I can't talk to her because everything I tell her gets repeated back to him.
Her boyfriend who she's been dating for about two years was her best friends husband before she died of lung cancer, and my moms boyfriend was my dads best friend before he got with my mom. The whole situation is wrong which makes my relationship with my moms boyfriend a struggle, i'm nice to her boyfriend, but deep down I have alot of sadness and hate towards the whole situation.
My sister who's 19 now, has recently gotten into the partying life. Her whole life revolves around her friends, alcohol, and weed. She has no time for me either. I have no relationship with my her, we have nothing in common which leaves very little for us to talk about. I have tried to hang out with her multiple times but she's always busy. if youre wondering she lives with my dad I live my mom.
My step brothers (my moms boyfriends kids)
my oldest step brother whos 19 is autistic, which causes him to be more of a loner, he locks himself in his room from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. the only time he comes out of his room is to go to karate, to get food/drinks, and to check his emails. The only things he really says to me is "leave me alone" or "get out of my room" That's when I try to hang out with him.
my other step brother, he's pretty cool, but he's never home. He's also into the whole partying and hanging out with friends scene too. but, he's not as bad as my sister. He basically lives with his friends so he's not someone I can really talk to either.
My friends; I choose them very carefully. I have a hard time trusting people. I don't have alot of friends but I don't have no friends either. at school, i'm known as the quiet girl who's really nice. but, being at the age i'm at right now YOU have to put yourself out there to fit in. everytime I try to hang out with my friends, they're either "busy" or "grounded" or "with someone else" and then I have a few friends who only talk to me when they really need something.
A boyfriend? yeah I don't have one of those either. guys talk to me on facebook and stuff but in real life it's like i'm completely invisisble.
i'm 16, and I feel like I have nobody. I want a best friend or a boyfriend to spend all my time with I want someone I can tell everything too and invite over to my house all the time or even go hang out with them.
why is it so hard for me to have a connection with the people around me?
what can I do to change my situation?
everybody needs atleast one person they can talk too but honestly, I have NOBODY.
I feel your pain.
I too used to be the quiet girl. Sure, I had friends... But the only time they were interested in talking to me was when they needed someone to listen to their problems. If I had a problem and needed someone to talk to, they all mysteriously vanished.
Didn't really date until I was around 19 or so. A year later, my mother kicked my father out of the house. A week or two after that, I found out that she was dating his best friend. Then my dad found out. It was really, really bad. Dad and I never were close. I was so angry with my mother that I didn't want to be around her. Then my boyfriend dumped me... Yeah.
What I'm saying is that, while I can't know exactly what you're feeling, I can relate. I understand how bad this situation sucks. So, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to talk to me.
With that said, I really think that you should visit your school counselor. This is a difficult situation for anyone to deal with and you really need someone you can talk to. I don't mean just a friend, but someone with professional training.
As for making new friends... First of all, realize that making friends is really a numbers game. There are going to be some people that just come off as jerks. Don't waste your time with these. They're really not worth your time and it doesn't matter what they think.
The easiest way to make new friends is to simply be pleasant and outgoing. Walk up to someone that you might like to be friends with, introduce yourself, and try to strike up a conversation. Ask questions to get people talking about themselves. If they don't seem interested in talking to you, don't push it. Politely take your leave and walk away.
You are in my thoughts. :)
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ok im only 13 and ever since i have turned 13 i noticed that i have like stretch mark sorta things causin me not wearin my swimsuit bottoms
when i was younger i never had these problems i had a perfect body my doctor even said i did
well how do i get rid of them????? i want to have fun again and not be scared to show off my body anymore :(
thnx _dont be judgin me
It's pretty much just like the last person said. All I wanted to do was assure you that stretch marks are normal. I had them when I was eleven. It's not a big deal... My boyfriend has them too. The good news is that they do fade over time.
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my mistake i got myself into debt and it got to over £300 before i told my mum and dad, they bailed me out and now its happened again but the bank took money from me causing it this time, they are questioning everything i do and it has upset us all, i have no clue what to do to gain there respect and trust back? plz help im in pieces here
I know this is an embarrassing situation to be in, but it's going to be okay.
From the sound of it, I'm guessing that you got into trouble with a credit card and/or debit card. If you don't do well keeping track of your purchases, maybe you should start carrying cash only. That way, you'll constantly be aware of how much you are spending and how much money you have left.
I don't know how much money your parents spent to bail you out of trouble, but you could try paying them back in small increments. It may only be twenty dollars every now and then, but you'll show them that you are trying to be responsible.
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I get really paranoid & stressed out about the littlest things. How can I calm my nerves & get my mind off of things?.
Okay, there's not a lot of information here, so I'm not really sure where to go with this...
It's always a good idea to discuss this type of thing with a doctor. If you are still in school or college, there should be a counselor for you to speak with. Either would be fine, just talk to someone face to face that can help you.
As for general stress reducing tips, here you go:
-Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night. A lack of good sleep can make stress worse. If you are having a problem getting to sleep, try doing something to relax before going to bed such as: drinking hot tea or milk, taking a hot bath or shower, or listening to soothing music.
-Exercise for at least 20 minutes a day, three times a week. Not only is exercise generally good for you, but it produces 'feel good' chemicals in the brain.
-Meditate for fifteen minutes a day. I know this may sound weird to some people, but all meditating really is is taking out a small chunk of time every day to be still and clear your head. You don't have to twist your legs into an uncomfortable position or listen to a CD of buddhist monks chanting. Simply find a comfortable position and try either: 1) not to think of anything or 2) dwell on some positive thought. (I used to tell people to play the 'I Am Grateful Game' which simply means thinking of things you are grateful for. Ex: I am grateful to be alive.)
-Keep a journal. Journaling is good because it gives you a chance to vent your frustrations and explore your feelings without being interrupted or feeling that you might be judged.
-Have a hobby. Hobbies are grossly underestimated. A good hobby will require so much focus that there will not be enough room in your head to think about anything else. The more hobbies you have, the better.
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