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I feel like I have nobody.
My parents are divorced, so of course they have moved on. My dad has a new girlfriend who he spends all his time with when he's not working. he's never really been a dad to my sister and I so it's nothing new. He works 6 days a week, sunday being his only day off. It's a one way street with my dad and I. If I don't call him, I would go weeks with out hearing from him. I put in all the effort to have a relationship with him. He lives in the neighborhood next to mine, but sadly our relationship is completely over the phone.
My mom has a new boyfriend who works on a tug boat which means he's on four days off four days, I have a lot of alone time with my mom but I still feel like I can't talk to her because everything I tell her gets repeated back to him.
Her boyfriend who she's been dating for about two years was her best friends husband before she died of lung cancer, and my moms boyfriend was my dads best friend before he got with my mom. The whole situation is wrong which makes my relationship with my moms boyfriend a struggle, i'm nice to her boyfriend, but deep down I have alot of sadness and hate towards the whole situation.
My sister who's 19 now, has recently gotten into the partying life. Her whole life revolves around her friends, alcohol, and weed. She has no time for me either. I have no relationship with my her, we have nothing in common which leaves very little for us to talk about. I have tried to hang out with her multiple times but she's always busy. if youre wondering she lives with my dad I live my mom.
My step brothers (my moms boyfriends kids)
my oldest step brother whos 19 is autistic, which causes him to be more of a loner, he locks himself in his room from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. the only time he comes out of his room is to go to karate, to get food/drinks, and to check his emails. The only things he really says to me is "leave me alone" or "get out of my room" That's when I try to hang out with him.
my other step brother, he's pretty cool, but he's never home. He's also into the whole partying and hanging out with friends scene too. but, he's not as bad as my sister. He basically lives with his friends so he's not someone I can really talk to either.
My friends; I choose them very carefully. I have a hard time trusting people. I don't have alot of friends but I don't have no friends either. at school, i'm known as the quiet girl who's really nice. but, being at the age i'm at right now YOU have to put yourself out there to fit in. everytime I try to hang out with my friends, they're either "busy" or "grounded" or "with someone else" and then I have a few friends who only talk to me when they really need something.
A boyfriend? yeah I don't have one of those either. guys talk to me on facebook and stuff but in real life it's like i'm completely invisisble.
i'm 16, and I feel like I have nobody. I want a best friend or a boyfriend to spend all my time with I want someone I can tell everything too and invite over to my house all the time or even go hang out with them.
why is it so hard for me to have a connection with the people around me?
what can I do to change my situation?
everybody needs atleast one person they can talk too but honestly, I have NOBODY.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I feel your pain.
I too used to be the quiet girl. Sure, I had friends... But the only time they were interested in talking to me was when they needed someone to listen to their problems. If I had a problem and needed someone to talk to, they all mysteriously vanished.
Didn't really date until I was around 19 or so. A year later, my mother kicked my father out of the house. A week or two after that, I found out that she was dating his best friend. Then my dad found out. It was really, really bad. Dad and I never were close. I was so angry with my mother that I didn't want to be around her. Then my boyfriend dumped me... Yeah.
What I'm saying is that, while I can't know exactly what you're feeling, I can relate. I understand how bad this situation sucks. So, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to talk to me.
With that said, I really think that you should visit your school counselor. This is a difficult situation for anyone to deal with and you really need someone you can talk to. I don't mean just a friend, but someone with professional training.
As for making new friends... First of all, realize that making friends is really a numbers game. There are going to be some people that just come off as jerks. Don't waste your time with these. They're really not worth your time and it doesn't matter what they think.
The easiest way to make new friends is to simply be pleasant and outgoing. Walk up to someone that you might like to be friends with, introduce yourself, and try to strike up a conversation. Ask questions to get people talking about themselves. If they don't seem interested in talking to you, don't push it. Politely take your leave and walk away.
You are in my thoughts. :)
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Im very sorry and feel your pain cause I went through a similar stage. sometimes I still do from time to time. I don't want to tell you talk to your mom cause she obviously has broken your trust with her. And Im pretty sure that feels shitty but for now you need to focus on yourself before tackling that issue. Have you ever thought of joining groups in school? like band or sports whatever it is they offer? something like that will give you the chance to take you mind off of some stuff for now and you could meet friends. Also I know this sounds scary but seeing a therapist will also help you guide your feelings to a positive outlook on how to deal with the struggles of life. A therapists will help you by having someone to talk to who will absolutely not judge you.
I know you said you are known as the quite nice girl at school, I don't know if your up for it but how about trying of breaking out of the shell a little bit? make some solid friends, etc.
One other advice that it most likely isn't the best advice but hey you never know, how about a weekend job. It will get you out the house for a while meeting new people and having some money for something you always wanted. I had a weekend job at your age and i loved being out the house and i meet tons of new people it was a good outlet.
So ultimately I hope you choose therapy and i wish you all the luck and love in the world. If you need to talk to someone you can always inbox me Good Luck with it all
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