Hey guys,
I just turned 20 and my boyfriend is 19. We broke up 2 days ago and barely talk. My issue is this. He has a girl friend, a hot girl friend. It never bothered me before actually. But over the Fourth of July weekend I was going to spend the night at his house. He kind of got all shady and said he wasn’t positive if I could spend the night anymore. I was fine with that. Until I got on Facebook and that hot girl posted on his wall that she was so excited for the coming up weekend because they were going to hang out now that she was single and they were going to get high and whatever. This bothered me for multiple reasons. Number one: He swears up and down that he doesn’t do drugs anymore. And number 2: He says he’s unsure if I can come over but now this chick is saying they’re going to get high together? Ugh. I don’t know why she says these things; she knows he has a girlfriend. Anyways I got all upset and stopped talking to my boyfriend for a while. Well he said he talked to the hot girl and told her that she can’t say things like that because I get mad. Then he said he would stop talking to her. So a few weeks went by and he and I got close again. But now all over again he’s friending her on Facebook. I mean I know it’s stupid because I’m kind of getting mad over Facebook. But now he tells me that he’s been lying and that they do talk & that they’re super close and whatever. I mean, I know I shouldn’t be mad but it upsets me. Also the hot chick is best friends/cousins with my boyfriend’s ex. So my boyfriend sees his ex a lot. Maybe I am indeed being overly paranoid but he knows how I feel about all this and finds a way to make it seem like it’s my entire fault. Because then he goes on to talk about how the only reason they’re friends is because they used to do drugs together. Yet, my jealousy makes no sense to him. So, am I wrong for breaking up with him?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? YoungMommy answered Wednesday July 20 2011, 12:55 pm: No I honestly think youre right to leave him. He had another girl comming over to his house but you couldnt be there. And he is getting high with her, My mind says that if he wants to be alone with a girl and get high most likely he is doing more than that... Also he lied to you about doing drugs thats messed up... And then the third thing he knows how you feel about everything but continues to do it anyway because he didnt care at all how you felt. Stick to your chioce that boy was a waste of time you can do so much better [ YoungMommy's advice column | Ask YoungMommy A Question ]
es answered Wednesday July 20 2011, 2:35 am: You are not overreacting, in my opinion.
Here's the thing. Putting all of these aspects aside, forget about this girl and all that he has done and consider this. If he knows something is bothering you, and he has the power over the problem, shouldn't he fix it? He is, after all, your boyfriend. He indeed should take into account you before this girl. He is dating you, not her, therefore you should come first. If it is bothering you, no matter if you're overreacting or not, he should take it into consideration and try to fix the problem with you.
Now, considering everything you said, this girl has no respect for you, therefore she writes things like that on his wall. If she had the smallest amount of respect for your relationship, she wouldn't do this. In my opinion, if he wants to stay with you, it is his obligation to distance himself from her if he feels that it is threatening your relationship.
You shouldn't feel that you are wrong. You are asking for respect. It's completely understandable. [ es's advice column | Ask es A Question ]
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