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what does he want from me?!...he has a girlfriend, and i have a boyfriend!
i'm 19/f, and i've been dating my boyfriend joe for 9 months. my boyfriend and i met at work and we still work at the same place together.
i've never had a problem with our relationship until i met nick. he also works with us and just got hired about 2 months ago. i hate to admit this, but.. for the past month, i've been having feelings for this new guy nick, even though i've been dating joe the whole time.
ever since i met nick, i've been really confused about my relationship with joe. i've seriously considered breaking up with him and i almost did, but i reconsidered at the last minute. i decided that i want to keep dating joe because i still have feelings for him and i love spending time with him...but at the same time i'm starting to realize that i truly want freedom in my life, and i just can't have that if i have a boyfriend, no matter how good of a boyfriend joe is. that's another reason why i feel like i should break up with him - i feel like i'm taking him for granted. he treats me like a princess, and i don't think i deserve to be spoiled like that, especially when my mind is wandering elsewhere.
i don't know what nick wants from me. i have a feeling he's just a player, but i can't tell. i realize that he's not the most eligible bachelor: he has a one-year-old son with his girlfriend, and i haven't heard much about her, except he's remarked that he doesn't want to marry her, and that he wants to take her to court to get custody of his son. but she also lives with him and his parents, so i mean obviously she's in his life for good, whether he wants her there or not.
nick started flirting with me at work about a month ago. he asked me for my number (in a joking way at first) and in response i said, "no, joe's my man!" and gave joe a hug right in front of him. (which joe loved.) that was the moment when nick found out that joe and i were dating.
but since then, nick continues to flirt with me at work. for example, he pokes me in passing and has hugged me, and after a few weeks of that stuff he asked me to hang out one day, so we exchanged numbers. i didn't know what he intended for us to do when we hung out, (i didn't want to put myself in a position where i could cheat on joe. i wouldn't EVER cheat on him, but i didn't want to be put in that position.) so i invited nick's cousin chris (who also works with us) to hang out with us. i tried to make it a friend thing. chris agreed, and nick&chris decided that we should go to chris's house and go swimming.
so nick called me that night like he said he would, and i walked to meet up with him..and me and him drove in his truck to his chris's house.
it was kind of an awkward hang out: i show up with nick at his aunt and uncle's house..and then we all go swimming in their pool: me, nick, his aunt and uncle and his cousin... very weird for the first time hanging out with two teenage guys outside of work..but i lived.
when we got out of the pool i suggested we have a bonfire, and they liked that idea. so nick's aunt and uncle went inside and the guys made a fire. i sat there while they got some beers and smoked a bowl. i don't really drink or smoke, so that was kind of awkward once again, but thought it was fine. i don't know what nick was thinking.
at this point, joe is texting me asking what i'm doing, so i told him i was hanging out with nick and his cousin. joe flipped out, because he has seen nick flirting with me at work and obviously wasn't happy that i decided to hang out with him outside of work. so, i told joe that the hang out was no big deal and that their parents were even joining us for some of it, and that nick wasn't even flirting with me or anything. (which was true.)
joe was still upset though, so i told nick and chris that joe was upset, and they said "hey why don't you invite him over? we never said he couldn't come." so i texted joe their address and then he came over.
once joe got there, we just sat around the fire for another hour or so. by then, it was around 11 P.M. nick said he was hungry and wanted to go to burger king. i was kinda hungry too but i didn't want joe to think i was going to run off with nick so i said nothing and we continued to sit there for another half hour.
another girl from work called chris and asked if he wanted to hang out, so she was invited over and came over. but it was getting late and i needed a ride home (since nick had brought me there.) nick continuously offered to drive me home since he had brought me to his cousin's house in the first place, but joe said he would drive me home too, and i obviously couldn't take a ride from another guy right in front of my boyfriend. so joe took me home that night and that was the end of that.
i haven't seen nick or chris outside of work since then. i'm really confused as to what nick wants from me, because even though he has a girlfriend, he flirts with me.
what do you think nick wants from me? do you think he wants me in his life as a friend, or something more? i feel like if we were both single, we would have hooked up or would have talked about liking each other by now, but maybe nick just treats every girl this way - i can't tell.
i've been a good girl my whole life, and i've always done the right thing. i can't forgive myself for having feelings for another guy while having a boyfriend. i feel so guilty about it, but i would never take it any further than the emotions in my head - i'd never cheat on joe.
what should i do about my relationship with joe? the less i analyze my relationship (or lack thereof) with nick, the easier it is for me to ease back into my relationship with joe, but i don't know if i'm in a relationship for the right reasons. i know nick is probably not the right guy for me - i mean, he comes with a lot of baggage for one thing, and he's also not even single - but i can't stop thinking about him. and i know i shouldn't, because i already have a good boyfriend.
does having feelings for another guy mean i should break up with my boyfriend? does it mean that i subconsciously don't really like my boyfriend that much? i'm so lost.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Having a small crush on another guy doesnt make you a bad person. We cant just be attracted to one person, just as long as we dont cheat its fine. Look but dont touch...
Stay with your boyfriend, you obviously love him and this other guy has a girlfriend. If he is trying to get with you then he definatly is a player and you dont need that.
Not only that but if you get with him, you have to lose your boyfriend, and gain all the baby mama drama and trust me you dont want that either.
Dont put yourself in positions where you can grow closer or cheat on him. Keep your friendship just at work dont meet up after and maybe get your number changed... this will only lead to temptations and you dont want to make a huge mistake and ruin the love you share with your boyfirend..
Stay with the boyfriend and drop the other guy like a bad habit :)
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I believe you should stay with your boyfriend especially since your boyfriend treats you so well. This Nick guy sounds like a player. Trust me I know, if a guy knows a girl is taken, they should back off and not continue to flirt. Plus he has a baby with another girl. He has baggage. You definitely should stay with your boyfriend.
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I think you should definitely stay with your boyfriend. If he treats you right and you like being with him then this guy who just recently walked into your life with a child and a girlfriend shouldn't affect your relationship of nine months. Sometimes when you've been with a guy for such a long time you can get bored, you're probably craving something spontaneous and exciting since you've been so tied down. The truth is, Nick will always have relations with his girlfriend because of his child, and the fact that he's trying to flirt with you while you have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend with a kid proves that he's not that great of a guy. You're better off staying with Joe who cares about you than ending things with him to hook up with a guy, causing him to cheat on his child's mother. I'm sure you don't want to deal with that guilt. Maybe there's some way you can talk to Joe and let him know that you want to spice your relationship up a bit. And in the meantime, it might not hurt if you just get a new job to keep the temptation of Nick out of the way until it disappears all together (it will, I promise). I think every girl who's been with their boyfriend a while gets a small crush on another guy for a short amount of time. It doesn't mean you lost feelings for your boyfriend, it just means that you might be experiencing some boredom with your relationship and maybe need to switch things up. It isn't a crime to have small feelings for a cute new guy while you're dating someone else, but don't let it ruin the relationship you have! Good luck and I hope I helped!
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