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Okay, I like this guy, like we've been friends for a while, we're not really good friends, but when we are around each other we have a good time. There are two reasons I haven't been around him more. One I have a boyfriend, and I REALLY love him, I feel so head over heels for him, we've went out for almost a year and I honestly think he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with because I know he loves me and he would never let anything happen to me. It's kinda like we're already married, we fight like husband and wife and everything, but we always make up.
Reason number 2 is that this guy I like is Gothic and I am... very, very far from that.. I am one of the 4 most popular girls in my class. I like this guy.. we'll call him "Sam", well Sam is so cool, he has the best personality, he doesn't act really gothic or anything, he just dresses gothic.. He's so fun to be around, and with a haircut, would be so so so Sexy. My friends know that I feel this way for them, and I don't think they'd disapprove, because they respect my feelings and everyting and if I wanted to break up with my boyfriend and be with Sam they would be okay with it.
BUT, the problem is, I'm not sure what my feelings are.. I think I might just be attracted to him because my boyfriend and I are getting really serious and I'm afraid I'll never be with anyone else and know anyone else, like love for them.. I'm just not sure what my feelings are.
Would it be terribly wwrong of me to spend a few days with Sam and see how I feel about him. I'm just scared that if I do break up with my boyfriend, which I do not want to do at all, that he may not even like me, because I don't believe in the same kind of things he does, I mean I'm not totally anti-gothic or anything, but I don't believe in the whole Satan Rocks thing, he knows that I feel that way, but don't know if it would be weird if I was with him because of the religion thing.
Please help me, I'm sorry, I know this is a really long entry, but I am in need of help- ALOT
Thanks
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Well...Whether it would be right or wrong depends on what exactly you intend to do with "Sam" while you're spending time together :P If all you want to do is get to know him better, I don't see anything wrong with that. You said that the two of you are friends, but not very close...There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends and getting to know them on a deeper level.
However, beware. If your boyfriend is the jealous type, he might not like you spending time with your male friends. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. I've said this before and I will say it to you too, it's okay for your boyfriend to feel insecure. But it's not okay when he starts hurling accusations at you when you've done nothing wrong. Such insecurities should be discussed, you should re-assure him, and he should trust you.
I do see one little problem though...Whether or not it's simply attraction, can you control yourself around this person? Do you think that if you got to know him better, you could remain platonic friends until you made your decision? If not, you should seriously reconsider, because you could be endangering the relationship that you have with your boyfriend.
I also think that you should give some more thought as to why you are interested in another guy if you are so happy with your relationship. It could be as you said before. Maybe things between the two of you are getting too serious and you're afraid. But you also mentioned that the two of you fight like a married couple. While I understand that the two of you always seem to make up, are you really resolving the conflict? Or are you just having the same arguement over and over again? I really can't even venture a guess at what is causing you to have second thoughts, I don't know you or your boyfriend, or what your relationship it like. I only have about a page of information to go on. So this is something that you are going to have to investigate yourself.
When you have evaluated your current relationship, and gotten to know this Sam fellow better, you will be better prepared to make your decision. Just remember...Often, when our relationships get rough, we tend to forget how rewarding they really are, and start to think that things would be a lot easier with someone else. Not true. Every relationship, no matter how successful, requires hard work and persistance. Because every relationship comes with it's own set of obstacles. So...While you may be imagining that you would happier with Sam instead of your boyfriend, remember that this is someone that you don't know very well, and who you have not had to work trough and trails and tribulations with. Not suggesting that you avoid Sam, but I'm not suggesting that you dump your boyfriend either. Just give the matter some serious thought and take your time.
Hope it works out well. Best wishes ;) Adieu :)
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