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boyfriend begins college, experiments with pills, and likes
This may be a little long, sorry.
I've been with my boyfriend [we are both 18] for almost three years. Ever since he started college, he began experimenting with pills. I honestly don't like people who mess around with drugs, and I've told him that I don't want him poppin pills. He told me he likes the feeling, and that he isn't going to stop until he wants to, whether or not I like it, and if it bothers me that much, that he wont tell me when he does it.
I'm not saying that I want to leave him or anything, but I don't like the fact that he hasn't put my feelings into consideration. He gets mad at me when I get mad at him, and I can't stand that. I'm not the one doing anything wrong, unless caring about him and his health is wrong.
I really don't know how to go about this situation, because it does make me very upset. When he goes to parties, I tend to wonder if he's doing drugs [pills] and I get mad. It's not like I can ask him either, because really, it doesn't make a difference, and I know that, and because he even said it himself, he's not going to tell me when he does it.
Now I feel that there is lack in communication and trust. between him and I. Am I being overprotective? He had said to me before, "watch when you go to college, you'll see how the world is really like, and you're going to experiment in a lot of different things." [I will be attending college this fall] But I know that I wouldn't do drugs because I live in a big city, where drugs are put out in the open, and I haven't tried anything besides weed. Besides, I absolutely HATE people who pop pills.
With that also being said, I'm beginning to feel a type of way because he is one of those people. I don't hate him though and I don't want to end a three year relationship with him just because he is taking pills. I just don't know what to do or say to him anymore.
Please help. Any advice is welcomed. Thank you.
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You aren't ending a 3 year relationship, he is. It sounds to me like he is really into the pills and they are a really growing in popularity as the drug of choice these days. Have no doubt that it is drug abuse.They can kill you just as dead as any other form of drug. Since the effects aren't immediate in most cases they could be even more deadly and easier to OD on.
I think you have every right to be upset. I think I would be telling his parents. He is 18 and there may not be much they can say...they can however stop paying for him to go to school.
The sad fact is, the more he gets into the pill popping, the less he is going to care what you do or say. You may be getting a little of that attitude now. I really doubt that you could have enough influence on him to get him to stop. That isn't your fault,it is just a drug abusers mentality. I hate to say it to you, but until he gets his life back on track I think you need to look elsewhere for a boyfriend. He is going to get worse until he stops, and that could take years. That is a very long time for someone to wait on another, regardless of how much they may love them. Do what feels right to you...thats just my opinion ( I have worked in medical field),for what its worth. Good luck. :)
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Okay, first of all, I'm going to take his "real world" speech and throw it out the window. While a lot of people do experiment with drugs during college, a lot of people don't. I'm one of them. Not like I'm a "goody-goody" and haven't been offered either. So the next time he says this to you, call him on it. It's a sorry excuse and a load of BS.
I know that you've invested a lot of time into this relationship, that you care about your boyfriend, and that you don't want to break up with him. But...since I have been there, done that, I can honestly say that I think this is the beginning of the end for the two of you. Sorry, I know it's harsh. But like I said, been there, done that.
You're right. He didn't take your feelings into consideration. And you can't trust him anymore. He basicly told you this to your face. These are two big red flags, please don't ignore them.
And there is nothing you will every be able to do to get him to quit. He told you this too.
So...Is this who you want to be with? An addict who doesn't care about your feelings, who you can't trust.
I hope not. I hope not because you sound like a girl with her head screwed on straight. I bet you have a lot going for you, and you deserve the best. Don't settle for less than you deserve, and don't allow him to ruin your life with his addiction.
I know I sound like a big meanie. Like I said, I'm sorry. The only reason why I am being brutally honest is because I used to date an alcholic, and I don't want you to experience all the emotional anguish that I did. Please, save yourself...
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Hey! I kno you dont wanna end the relationship... but im a relationship, you need trust and communication!! and its not wrong to care about sumbody and their health! i kno you already tried talking to him, but is he doesnt care about wat you say, then i would consider breaking up! i kno you dont wanna, but maybe if you break up w/him and say im breakin up w/you b/c your taking pills, maybe he will finally listen and stop taking them to get you back IF HE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU
hope i helped!
SiNcErLy,
DumB!
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When I met my husband, he was on so many different drugs. I told him we could be friends while he was on drugs, but we wouldn't date. He loves me so much, that in order to have a chance with me he quit pot, coke, ecstacy, elephant trumpets, shrooms, and pain killers. He cut back from dirnking every day to a few times a month, and he never drinks enough to get drunk.
I think that if you are really important to this guy, he will do the same for you.
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well what kind of pills is he popping? good advice would really depend on that so im gonna break up into three general sections and give advice based on each, add more info for the rest of the people that will answer.
Low Risk pills (ie cafine pills): Ok i really wouldnt worry TOO much because these arent all that bad, extra study time by not sleeping etc, hardly dangerous and hardly worth breaking up over.
Medium Risk (higher chemical stimulants, perscriptions without a perscription IE ridalin): Pretty risky, ask that he not do them when hes with you and you wont have much of a problem.
High Risk (hard drugs IE ecstasy): here is what im thinking is most likely judging by your question. Really dangerous and self dessctructive. If you d leave him he will most likely start doing more, i really hate to put you on the spot like that but it is what it boils down to.
There is another problem though. He really should be more considerate of your feelings, but at the same time you should be more considerate of his. If he isnt doing hardcore dangerous drugs let him be, if it is hardcore you should be making your feeligns known, tell him you love him ut it really maks you feel uncomfortable.
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