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December 1, 2010Answers:
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about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
My friend says Im naive and that I live a sheltered life, but I hang out with him all the time. I dont think Im spoiled either. What does he mean?
You've got a guard up, You protect yourself, Innocent, Cautious etc.
I seem to have no idea how to make friends IRL. Internet has been a major part of my life since I was 8, and now at 17 I'm frusterated at my lack of ability to become close to people IRL. It's like I cant trust people, and I feel like if I dont have things in common with other people (as I often feel I don't) I don't know how to be friends cause idk what to talk about and to make things not awkward. I'm just sick of never hanging out with people and having a legit child/teen experience
Please be detailed, and I'll love you.
It's like I feel like a lot of people already don't like me, even though they don't know me, just from what they've seen of me at school like all quiet and timid when it's really because I'm afraid of being in an embarassing situation. im normally actually fun. actually i'm not even sure anymore cause I feel like I havent had much opportunity to show the real me. like i literally have no friends at school and it's scary. im also relatively new to my small town (this is my 2nd year here)
I'm not one to conform and I feel like people already have stereotypes about me, maybe also cause im black and there's few black people in my town (who often act stereotypically) and i act far from stereotypes. i dont know anyone like me and that really bothers me
You are new to a town and sometimes that alone takes time to adjust. You also seem shy and antisocial...That isn't always a bad thing.
The difference between RL and Online:
Relationships in person are much easier and less of a hassle, Sometimes others will tell you online relationships are nothing but a little taste of fantasy. Real life is real, Online is not. In person you can interact with a person emotionally, physically and mentally. In order to get to know someone you have to put time into getting to know them. Relationships are about commitment, Trust, honesty and Respect. That old saying "Guys are visual and women are emotional" Is very true and generally in order to create a bond between two people those two people would need to interact with one another. Relationships online are often not taken seriously, You cannot fulfill your happiness by relying on someones support through a computer. The best way to meet people and to make friends is to find an interest, If you art interested in Art then join the after school art club etc. Getting to know people all starts with taking a few baby steps. Nowadays, It seems everyone is stereo typical but believe me even in these days there are those people out there who are nice, kind and still have their heads together you just have to find them.
ok... i am 15 and i am in love with this guy. and i wanna be with him forever and always... we have everything planned... we're going to try to emancipated together when i turn 16... could that work? even though my mom doesnt want me to... she doesnt think im ready... but im sick of living here... she has anger issues, theres so much stress, there emotional and sum physical abuse, and theres just so much problums. i feel that i can do better... and if emancipation doesnt work plan B was to have a baby... (im willing to do anything to be with him) could that work? if i had a baby or if im pregnant does that give me and him sum rights to be together?... and plan c was to get married at 16... does your guardian have to have a say in it?? i really need advice. Thank You!
You cannot legally get married without an adults consent, You are a minor and will need legal documentation by a legal guardian.
If you really have your mind set that a baby will solve your problems and help you get married at such a young age then you really need to reevaluate yourself. That is a pretty fucked up way of thinking never mind extremely selfish on both you and your boyfriends part.
Right now at your age a baby won't do anything more then cause baggage, stress and strain on your relationship. You are young, Your boyfriend is young and let me ask you a few questions: Do you have a job that pays more than 8 bucks an hour? Do you work more than 35 hours a week? Do you have a place of your own? Do you have a driving licence? No I am not lecturing you, These are serious questions and things you really should think about before you bring a baby into this world. You have not even had the chance to be independent, Responsibly comes with being independent and despite you and your boyfriend thinking you are going to be together forever things happen all the time whether you want them to or not. If you are being abused then you should seek the proper help by calling the police or by telling a trustworthy adult. Running away or bringing a baby into this world right now is probably the most fucked up thing you could possibly do.
I'm 12 in a half and I lost all my virginity to my boyfriend, he's 15.My bestfriend said that losing my at my age is really bad.I don't think its that bad that i'm not a virgin anymore.Is it bad i'm not a virgin at 12.Most of the time I have sex with him. My friend says I should tell my parents i've had sex. Should I tell my parents?
Well if you want an honest answer, You are way too young to be thinking about sex.
Should you tell your parents? I most certainly would. You do not need a baby at 12 years old. You are still a child yourself, You are to damn young. Don't be stupid
I really don't know what to do.
My boyfriend doesn't know I'm pregnant, and we
broke up about 3 weeks ago. He asked me out again.
My friends say I should tell him. How do I tell him?
I honestly don't know if I want to be with him..
If you do not want to date someone you aren't happy with then break up with him. You may be pregnant and it may be his child but you are not entitled to live out of misery. This guy broke up with you and then he crawled back to you, If you aren't happy break up with him and leave it at that.
Honestly? At 14 years old I think you may want to really think about what is best for you and your babies future and adoption is always a great choice and if you aren't fully comfortable with the idea of not seeing the baby then you can do an open adoption where you would have visitation rights.
18/f
i wish i could ask my mom this, but i can't.. so please anyone whos wiser or older, help!
I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 months, but I've been friends with him for the longest time. He's funny, intelligent, and extremely good looking. I'm in love with him. I'm still a virgin, where as he definitely is not; however i am his first love.
I haven't had sex with him yet.
He's going away for school this year while i stay in town for school. We both agreed we can be with who ever we want while we're away, but he said when he comes back, he wants to be with ME. Now, don't get me wrong, i know he is in love with me. He was on a pursuit for my affection for a few months prior, and his friends tell me he's never acted this way with anyone else (and they are my close guy friends too). Anyway, what I'm trying to ask is, if he really did love me, would he be able to hook up with other people while he's away? Is this realistic, or are my expectations just too high? I'm scared. I don't know if I wanna have sex with him before he leaves which is in a few weeks. I mean, I want to, but I'm just scared.
I agree with Adviceman
If the guy loved you then he would work it out no matter what the circumstances were. Is it normal? No. This guy wants to date you when you are available to him and when he is going away you will not be as available to him because he is hooked up in school work. Therefore, He wants to sleep around and hook up with other woman who are more of a convenience to him. Basically, You are just his rebound.
If you want someone who loves you for who you are, Then date someone who is willing to be faithful to YOU and only YOU. Do not let the guy be with you then walk out to date other people. That is wrong, It is not normal nor faithful. If he said to you that it's okay to date other people then I would really think about ending the relationship as he has thoughts of cheating on his mind. Don't be his doormat and wait for him to wipe his feet when he feels like it.
I cannot sign in on my aim from any computer. These are the error
messages i am getting:
Downloaded on to pc AIM: Connection error. Please try signing on
again. Try Auto Configure or change your setting manualy
AIM express: You have attempted to sign on too many times. Please try
again in a few minutes.
Mail(When you go to check you r mail, it gives you the option to sighn
onto aim): Your connection to the AIM system has been lost. Please try
signing in again.
Target rate limit reached. statusDetailCode 5
If this means anything, someone was messaging me about seeing her on
'cam' I refused numerous times. Got really mad and called her a slut
and a whore. She kept messaging me like nothing happened. But then all
of a sudden it quit. Could i be possibly banned or something? I am
able to log onto my other account on aim,
From what you've written above it sounds like you could be experiencing a connection problem, If you are wireless make sure the wireless connection is properly connected. Generally there should be a little computer icon on the right bottom hand of your computer if it has an "x" symbol you are not connected to the internet. By fixing this problem you can click on the icon and reconnect it to the wireless.
You've also said that AIM had given you the message that you've attempted to sign in multiple times. After to many attempts of trying to log in your account will go on hold for 12 hours for security reasons. To many failed log in attempts can be mistaken for hacking.
If you are not wireless, Make sure the USB plug is properly inserted into the back of your computer. If you cannot still log onto AIM then I would suggest you trying to log on from Meebo.com if you cannot sign on to your user name then likely your account is on hold due to multiple log in attempts or yes, You've been banned.
There is this guy I met at work a few weeks ago. I was sent to the same area he was for a day at work. While I was there he showed me the ropes and helped me out. As I was working he complimented me on my work saying "nice" and he offered me something to drink. A few days alters I saw him and he was looking at me from across the way but he didn't say anything he was just looking then he walked off. Then I was sent back to his area again a different day. I had my name tag on and he looked down at it and said my name really slowly kinda creepy but I didn't mind he asked me to help him with something. But after that he hardly talked to me but was talking to everyone else. I felt sad because i thought he didn't like me. Then another day I saw him twice. Both times I was looking down doing something and when i looked up i caught him looking at me but again he didn't say nothing. The same happened another he would just look at me and not say anything. One time he was standing across from then walked to the chair next to me to organize stuff in his bag and then walked back to where he was standing which i thought was strange because there was a lot of other empty chairs around. A lot it confuses me. Im really attracted to him but i don't know what to because im not sure if he like me or not. What do u think does he or am i over analyzing this too much?
I've already told you that you were possibly overlooking the situation. It could be maybe he is attracted to you but do you know anything about this person? Do you know if he is married/has kids/girlfriend?....
I wouldn't jump to conclusions that he likes you just because he was glancing over, That really is not enough to go on. You also said this guy was showing you the ropes, Did you make a mistake?......Maybe he went over to correct you? Anyway not to burst your bubble but coworker relationships aren't always a good idea and some companies have a no coworker relationship policy. Just like I told you once before........
My roommate in college is one of my friends. I've known her for 5 years and we get along okay. The only thing that bothers me about her is that she is such a huge flirt. She constantly flirts with guys and gets their numbers and then brags about it. She has been dating this guy Nick for a year now. Well we have been living in college for a week now and she's already got a few guys numbers and hung out with them several times. This isn't just a "friendly" thing... I know my friend. If she hangs out with a guy she likes, she makes sure she looks perfect. Meaning, she spends hours on hair and make up. So this isn't a friendly thing she's doing..
Its gotten so bad that one time this hot guy walked by and she was like "damnn! why am I still dating my boyfriend? there are plenty of other hotter guys out there!" So obviously she doesn't love her boyfriend.
It really bothers me that she has a boyfriend, but yet treats him this way by flirting with other guys. I don't know if I should stay out of it and not cause drama between her (also consider she is my roomie so if we had a fight, I would have to deal with her constantly) or should I tell her boyfriend about this??
Do not get between her and her relationship, You will stir tension and make things even more stressful for you. You both are roommates, You both will have to learn to have some sort of mutual respect for another. If you need to sit her down and discuss your concerns with her then do so but do it in a calm mature manner that doesn't sound as if you are trying to attack her. You may not always agree with what she does in her life but you also need to know that what she does is her business. Unless it is harming you or someone in anyway, There is no need to interfere with what she does. My best advise, Try and get along with her. You both do not have to be best friends but at least come to a mutual agreement with one another.
I use to be really good friends with this guy for about a year then he asked me out. We dated and long story short, I was around the corner from his house when all of a sudden his ex girlfriend (who by the way claims she's in live with him and she absolutely hates me) was walking out of his house. It was about 2 a.m and only him and his cousin were there. We got into a big argument and I left. It's been about a month since that night. I haven't talked to him since then. I seen him last week but he was way ahead of me talking to one of our mutual friends. He turned around an turned back around real fast. today I woke up with a missed call from him at 2 in the morning. I texted him this morning saying "I was asleep." he texted back saying "I was gonna go see you. I had my mom's car" I texted back saying "haha you shouldn't be taking your mom's car" an he said "she let me borrow it" I stopped texting back. Should I wait for him to contact me again or what should i do? Thanks in advance.
Why the hell are you still in contact with someone who cheated on you with an ex? Damn, It just seems like the same things just go on over and over these days.
Your ex boyfriend disrespected you, You trusted him did you not? If he cheated on you then he doesn't deserve you in a relationship and he most definitely doesn't deserve your friendship. Guess what, If his ex girlfriend was there at 2am then that right there should tell you something was going on even if he had his cousins in the house. It's just sketchy and I think you know damn well that you deserve better than his cheating ass. I'm not trying to be a full blown prick, I'm tell you that you really should show yourself some respect and know that you deserve someone who will treat you right. Not take your trust and throw it out the window, If you crawl back to him then you just told him it was okay to cheat on you. Do not give him that alternative.
Can a girl fall pregnant if a guy cum in her mouth
No, This is impossible
Why dies all my relationships ends abruptly?
Why?
Relationships take time and work for them to work out.
What kind of guys/girls have you dated in the past? Do you relate to any of them in a good way?
Guess what: If you date Borazz, Then Borazz will be boring! If you date Cheatinonyoazz, Then they will be unfaithful...and if you date Lyinazz.....Well then they will of course be a liar.
So, Lets stay clear of the air and try and find someone who would be right for you and respect you.
If I had more details though, I would be able to give you much better advise I just thought I'd make a joke out of it. (lol)
hello,i turned 13 on the 16th august 2011&ive been talking to this lad for quite a while&we always seem to talk about sex,but im a virgin:/,i feel ready to have sex,but i feel asif he's just gonna use me for a fxck&then hate on me. He has been telling me about the positions he wants to use on me&asking me to get on my knees for him,everytime i see him he blanks me,never says a word to me,but when were at home he will inbox me talking about sex,i feel ready and the convo's are making me more ready,should i wait untill i find someone who loves me for who i am and can wait,or do i just go ahead and let him have sex with me,please help me i feel so confusied,i just want to get it out the way but i could be doing the rong thing,all my friends say its good but i dont want to do it to fit in,just think its time for my most loved childhood memory to be given to him:/please help me as you can see im clearly stressed&confused im really scared of doing the rong thing!!!!!!1
Listen
If you have to ask random strangers from the internet if you should have sex, Then you aren't ready. Honestly? I would wait, I would wait until you are older and have been in a relationship with someone for a long time. Lets face reality, At 13 no girl/boy knows what they want out of life. They all just think they do and in a few years your life will change. You will hit high school, Mature and enter another stage in your life and this boy you are with now will be old news. It's the truth
If you don't want to regret this, Then wait. If he keeps pressuring you into having sex with him then Ta-Da! there you go, He is all about sex. Don't fall under peer pressure this is the mistake too many people make these days. Guess what, Your friends really need to back off, Not because of your age but because someone's sex life is nobody's business no matter what age you are. It would generally only be someone's business if it were illegal somehow. Next time your friends pull a stinky little stunt then tell them your sex life is your private business and you do not wish to discuss it with them. If they decide to make fun of you for it, Well then they aren't real friends are they? There is much more to life then having sex just to get it over with. Sex frankly should be a meaningful thing that is shared with someone you love, trust and can see yourself with for a very long time. You don't want to screw up, Then I highly suggest you wait.
I am 42 and been married three years to a 57 year old man!My concern is this i gound a jump drive laying on floor put it into my computer and it had 57,000 pics of naked women and porn clips!Is this normal behavior or is he obssessed?Most were young girls about 20,he is very conservitive with me so this really surprised and hurt me at the same time!He also goes on this nude hikes!I dint really have a problem with some porn but i am hurt that this is what he does when im not around!As he has been married three times before and discusses sexual past at times also!Im having a hard time even looking at him,he doesnt know i even have jump drive as i havnt decided what to do!
It is normal for a man to view porn however I couldn't possibly disagree with Julie more.
Your husband has a problem, He is an an addict. The fact that he has been married in a few times in the past is somewhat of a concern and should of raised a few flags. Assuming that his married fell out do to porn being a huge part of his life this man needs to seek some sort of professional help.
57,000 is an excessive amount of porn and you know you have a problem when the porn begins to effect your marriage. This man may not realize he has a problem nor want to admit it but unless he seeks help for his porn hoarding......There may be little hope anything will change. This is a warning due to years of impulse. Your husband is a sex addict and needs to seek help. Try talking to him about your concerns.
I want to have sex with my boyfriend but I don't want to get pregnant he won't get a condom and I can't get one for him but I really want to do it with him and I can't get on birth control because I don't want my mom to know. So if we just had sex for like 20 seconds could I still get pregnant? If i can is there an amount of time that I can do it and not get pregnant?
Then you tell your boyfriend: No glove, No love
There is always a chance of pregnancy. There is no such thing as a certain amount of time. I highly suggest you talk him into using a condom because it's better to be safe then to regret it and it would be the SMART thing to do. Don't be stupid!
So my ex boyfriend and I hook up alot and we always wants me to give him a blow job but I really don't want too! I keep saying no but he just says please and keeps pleasing and when I say no he says fine then I'm fucking you. And I say no but he trys too! And it's not like I can just stop seeing him because my best friends brother is his bestfriend and I am always at her house and then she and her brother walk away and he picks me up and carries me away into the woods and I just don't know what to do I tell my friend not to leave but she just laughs and does it anyway so I don't know what to do. I mean I would blow him but i have a bad past with that. So I need advice ! Please help! I'm really scared of him I feel kind of raped after he touches my boobs and fingers me he always makes me touch his penis and I don't like it. So please someone give memadvice what to say walking away doesn't help he just carries me back. So help thanks
If you are being forced to perform sexual acts and have sexual intercourse under your consent then you were raped, You were taken advantage of. You need to report this guy and not let him off the hook. People who don't know the meaning of the word "NO" need to be learned some sort of consequence. This is were you tell an adult you trust and you tell them everything you've told us above.
Second: If there is any possible way to avoid the creep, Then I'd stay clear. This guy has some major issues he needs to sort out and by that I mean his ass needs some time in a jail cell.
My best advise: Report him immediately, What he is doing is 100% wrong.
my boyfriend turns 17 soon and im only 13 what should i do????
The thing Punkie seems to be missing in her answer is one important thing...
Whether people want to acknowledge that age is "just a number" there IS such thing as legal and illegal. I have read numerous stories about how people get charged with statutory rape and many are forced to register as a sex offender. Reality is, Someone who is 16,17,18 years old are mostly looking for nothing but sex this IS what the world mostly revolves around these days and it seems to be a new daily hobby with the younger generation.
Let me ask you a question: You don't at all find it weird that someone 17 years of age would date someone as young as 13?? Well, Despite your answer possibly being a No.....There are a few things wrong with it. You may not want to accept it nor hear it but the law is the law...
In many states someone is not legally able to consent to sexual intercourse if they are under the age of 16. Statutory rape IS a law and in many cases it IS a very serious charge. My best advise is to date someone your own age not someone who will legally be an adult in another year or so.
I have been asking my mom for a facebook for over a year now. Finally, she agreed as long as she got one also and became my friend. Um, no. First of all I would be her only friend, which means she would basically go on and look at everything in my profile all the time. I know my mom, and she LOVES to snoop. I do not want to be friends with her. No. I don't want her seeing what people write on my wall and everything. How do I convince her not to do this??? I desperately want a facebook and can't get one otherwise... How can I get her to let me get one but not to become friends with me?
Well,
I'm not sure how old you are but your mother may want to monitor the behavior that goes around on facebook. If you really would like your privacy then create another account and add her to that one. Worried about her seeing if you have all your friends added to your second account? Welp, You can simply hide who can view your friends by clicking the pencil icon when you highlight "Friends" on your profile and you can customize it so only you can view your friends! Welcome to Facebook
Hey, I'm 23/f. Current guy (Jeff) is also 23.
So, way long story short, I left an abusive man with my life, most of my health, and my cat, back in October. I've gotten all sorts of help, including a therapist, a psychiatrist, and an incredible support system that includes my immediate family, all of my close friends, and my work family. I've even blogged about what happened and have started trying to use my experience to help other people. Basically, everything positive. (Except working out - I need to get back to that.)
Now I've reconnected with an old friend from high school (Jeff), and he's kind of an incredible guy. We've been seeing each other - no titles (no pressure) for awhile, and have known each other for years. We got a little carried away last night and got into some "heavy petting," you might say. At some point, and I don't remember what point precisely, I wound up in tears.
He stopped immediately and started apologizing over and over again, and I kept saying "it's okay, it's not you, you didn't do anything wrong," and I meant it.
This is my first time getting physically intimate with another man since leaving the abusive one back in October. I know it's normal to be a little apprehensive, but - really? This long?
Jeff has been really understanding. I even avoided him for a good four months after the first couple times we saw each other, and he just kept messaging me - eventually I started messaging back again, and I'm so glad I did. I really like him...I'm just terrified I'm going to push him away, or cause him to run away, with all this baggage. What guy wants to deal with a girl who cries every time they try to get intimate?
I'm not this weak, vulnerable person, and I'm disgusted with myself right now.
More than anything, I'm angry that I feel like my ex is still ruining my life, even while he's not in it.
But, I'm not sure I can blame it on him. I'm scared, and that's the reality of it.
A friend told me it's normal for my body to remember that intimacy = my ex, but how do I disassociate the two? Just keep going with tears rolling down my cheeks? That doesn't sound right. Do I stop and succumb to the fear? That doesn't sound right either.
Does anyone have any idea what to do in a situation like this? Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
Thanks.
You are being too hard on yourself, It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Abusive relationship leave behind emotional scars and sometimes it can take a long time to overcome bad memories. Everyone is different. For some women it may take years, months, weeks etc. Getting help is a great thing but we also have to overcome the emotional part of it and that can take time. It isn't wrong for you to cry again it's normal. Abusive relationships can be quiet traumatizing and sometimes memories can be our worst enemy. If you need to slow things down with Jeff then do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Just remember new beginnings are possible and when you are ready you will eventually heal.
He's seventeen, a senior, male. I'm sixteen, a junior, female.
He's my best friend.
He knows me. He calls me, he texts me everday. He tells me about his day and I tell him about mine. He know's my secrets and I know his.
He protects me. He beat up my ex-boyfriend when he slapped me. He doesn't let anyone hurt me, inside or out. He wont allow me with boys he doesn't approve of.
He cares about me. He hugs me when I cry. He holds my hand when I'm anxious, or nervous. He tickles me when I'm down. He wrestles me when I'm in that goofy mood. He's the funniest person I know.
We have never kissed, or had any kind of romantic relationship. We aren't like that.
But he's dating a new girl. She doesn't like me because of how close I am to him. He says its not, and that it won't, but everything I've mnetioned before is starting to fall apart, and I don't know how I can live with out him...
What am I supposed to do?
Think about this real hard for a minute
You may state you both aren't like that but by what you've posted above the guy really cares for you to the point where he likely loves you and you don't even know it.
All you can do is respect his relationship he's in, Talk to him about it and try to come to an agreement. You also need to try and understand where this "new girl" is coming from understandably she is jealous of the relationship between you and your friend but honestly....I think you may want to rethink whether you two "aren't like that" because it sounds like love too me.
Let me ask you some basic questions: How do you feel when you are around him? Does he make you happy? Do you trust him? Can you talk to him about anything? ........If these are all yeses sweetheart then I think love is right under your nose.