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She doesn't want me around him.


Question Posted Sunday August 21 2011, 7:21 pm

He's seventeen, a senior, male. I'm sixteen, a junior, female.

He's my best friend.

He knows me. He calls me, he texts me everday. He tells me about his day and I tell him about mine. He know's my secrets and I know his.

He protects me. He beat up my ex-boyfriend when he slapped me. He doesn't let anyone hurt me, inside or out. He wont allow me with boys he doesn't approve of.

He cares about me. He hugs me when I cry. He holds my hand when I'm anxious, or nervous. He tickles me when I'm down. He wrestles me when I'm in that goofy mood. He's the funniest person I know.

We have never kissed, or had any kind of romantic relationship. We aren't like that.

But he's dating a new girl. She doesn't like me because of how close I am to him. He says its not, and that it won't, but everything I've mnetioned before is starting to fall apart, and I don't know how I can live with out him...

What am I supposed to do?


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LC130 answered Monday September 5 2011, 9:45 pm:
If you really do tell each other everything then I suggest telling him that you are upset that you don't talk as much anymore. You and his new girlfriend could make an effort to get to know each other a little better. It's normal for a woman to be a little jealous of her boyfriend being so close to another girl. I think it's important that she see that you and your friend have more of a brother/sister relationship and not a romantic one. If you really care about him as much as you seem to then you don't want to put him in a position where he feels like he has to choose. To be honest, even if his relationship with this girl doesn't last you will likely run into the same problem with every woman he dates. Male/Female relationships are tricky but can absolutely work if everyone involved trusts each other.

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Xui answered Wednesday August 31 2011, 12:57 am:
Have you tried talking to your friend? If you two are as close as you say you are then you shouldn't have a problem expressing your concerns on how you feel. Tell him what you told us, You feel that his new relationship is causing you to drift apart. On the other hand if he is in a relationship you cannot expect him to spend all of his time with you. This guy is now with someone, That is of course will be his main priority. If you are too the point were you don't hear from him AT ALL then you could explain to him that you are upset and really wish to hang out from time to time. Perhaps, You and his new girlfriend could come to an agreement too all hang out together. That way she doesn't feel paranoid about it, Learn to respect one another. Whatever you do, Do not demand his attention 24/7 or you both will definitely drift apart.

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NinjaNeer answered Monday August 22 2011, 1:19 am:
I think that Zane's a little confused (sorry Zane, I almost always agree with you, but I differ here) about the possibilities for relationships with the opposite sex.

If you are a straight girl and have a best girl friend who you share secrets with, who makes you happy, who you trust and who trusts you, does that mean you should date her? No. There has to be something else for that to work. Chemistry, or whatever you want to call it.

I'm a girl whose best friend is a guy. We get along ridiculously well. We laugh at the same jokes, we can talk about anything, even our deepest darkest secrets, he knows he can (and has) call me in the middle of the night to help him through a rough spot, and we both share a ridiculous love for a certain Canadian classic prog rock band. Do I want to marry him? No. In fact, he's going to be my "man of honour" when I get married next month. So I get where you're coming from.

You've got to have a talk with your friend. I've had this discussion with mine before. What to do about the jealous girl/boyfriend. I just told my fiance flat-out that I wasn't going to put up with any jealousy. He's told his girls the same. There's the occasional suspicion, but if I spend time with them they see exactly how non-threatening I am.

That's what I suggest for you. Spend time with the two of them. Let her see that you don't feel that way for him. Make comments about what a cute couple they are, tell him you approve of his new lady (in front of her), show her that you are not going to try to get in her way. Just avoid anything that even has potential to look flirty or possessive. Then the mystery is lifted, and she knows that you're not "that woman", you're "that friend".

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Xui answered Monday August 22 2011, 12:02 am:
Think about this real hard for a minute

You may state you both aren't like that but by what you've posted above the guy really cares for you to the point where he likely loves you and you don't even know it.

All you can do is respect his relationship he's in, Talk to him about it and try to come to an agreement. You also need to try and understand where this "new girl" is coming from understandably she is jealous of the relationship between you and your friend but honestly....I think you may want to rethink whether you two "aren't like that" because it sounds like love too me.

Let me ask you some basic questions: How do you feel when you are around him? Does he make you happy? Do you trust him? Can you talk to him about anything? ........If these are all yeses sweetheart then I think love is right under your nose.

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