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Over-thinking
I always over-think things. I always feel like I need to be on top when it comes to school. If I don't get A's or B's, but more so A's, I panic. I cry. If I do bad in a class, I feel like a loser. I feel like I'm not worth anything. I haven't had good luck in jobs. But, I've worked at these random offices and couldn't handle the work-load with school and all my other priorities. I was working close to 30 hours a week. I start working at school tomorrow and I'm so excited that I'll be at school. I've been looking for a job at school for 2 years! And it's only 15 hours a week. So, I can handle my classes and activities and enjoy my college years... just with a little money in my pocket. But, I'm scared because I've just over-thought it. I want to be a good employee. If you can send me any advice on how to stop over-thinking and just be proud of my accomplishments, please let me know.
Thank you!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I feel like this a lot sometimes - no matter how awesome you are, you always feel like it's not enough. So to help me combat it (because I am a creative type, and yes, this is a creative project) I went out and got myself a huge sheet of poster board.
On the top of it I wrote: THINGS THAT MAKE ME AWESOME.
Then I brainstormed what made me awesome, whether it was from working with adults with disabilities while earning a Bachelor of Arts with a Gender Studies minor to the fact that I know all the words to "Don't Stop Believing". You are awesome, just sometimes you need a reminder of it. And a visual poster is always a good reminder.
I also (because feedback is nice) made little business cards. On the card it says, "You are awesome because _______." Then I went to people I knew, and told them why I wanted them to write down something awesome about me. A few didn't want to write which was cool but I got some really nice comments about things I didn't know about. Or you could ask this question on Facebook. See what happens, what people say.
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You are what people refer to a a type "A" personality, an over achiever. Someone who is never satisfied with their own accomplishments. In one respect this is good in another it is bad.
The fact that you are always looking to improve yourself is good. Before I retired the people in my career field were suppose to be motivated by the money they could earn. I wasn't, I was motivated by learning. I knew that if I did my job correctly and if I left the house in the morning and returned in the evening and had learned something new then I had a successful day. Learning something new also allowed me to do my job better which allowed me to earn more money.
What I'm trying to tell you is that learning something new was not all that hard to do, it didn't have to be forced. You need to learn how to do things in moderation or else you are going to do yourself physical harm.
It is okay to get an occasional B or even a C as long as you put your best effort into the project or essay. Especially essays as they are subjective in nature. To certain extent so are some types of projects.
You don't always have to be the smartest kid in class or at work. We are human and humans make mistakes. What we are best at is learning from are mistakes so we do not make them again. Fact is if you constantly worry about making a mistake, you will make them; so don't worry about them. Just put your best effort into what you are doing and you will do find.
Give yourself a chance to sit back and relax. A chance to enjoy life. Life is to short to be constantly stressed out about things. Always trying to be the shinning star will make you the target of your peers. You don't need to be a target. Just do your best and roll with the punches. You'll be much happier and you will have a great college life to boot.
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My boyfriend had the same problem with over analyzing everything! So I hope I can help you here :) Be confident in everything you do. Don't feel silly for wanting good marks. Don't feel like a loser because you stress out and can't handle a million and one things at once. You're only in college. Getting a job is great but if you can't find one, or it's too much for you, that is OKAY! You can't be expected to do everything. If you don't get and A or a B. Don't fret. Breathe and stay calm and look at what you can do to improve your grades the next time around. People mess up. Make mistakes. You are only human. Just remember that real failure is not trying again when you don't succeed. Keep going. Everything happens for a reason and it will all work out in the end. God works in mysterious way. You just gotta learn to have faith in that :) I hope I helped you even just a little :) If you need any more advice my column is always open!
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