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I feel like a failure
I've always strived to be the best that I can be. I get all 100's but it just gets so old staring at them everyday. I'm not good at anything else. Not good at sports or arts or music or singing or dancing or anything. I was so wrapped up in books as a kid that I never learned to swim! I always feel like a failure compared to girls who are not only decent students, but have rich parents that engage them in lessons and every sport that exists and are just good at everything! I don't know to compete, and I get so angry and frustrated with myself because I'm just a nerdy student and nothing else. I'm not pretty, I'm not popular, and I just feel like a mess. It doesn't help that I have braces, pimples, and I'm tall and just plain ugly! And I'm about that close to being a hunchback and might have to get back surgery! I just feel like I can't achieve anything because I can't do anything.
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Holy low self-confidence!
I know how it feels. I really do. I grew up poor (like rural farm kid in the dust bowl poor), pimply (I have bad eczema), nearsighted, and grossly overweight. Like you, I was totally a bookworm and longing to be one of the in kids. I was the "Eloise Midgin" of my high school. So I'm not kidding when I say I know what it's like.
However:
There comes a point (and I'm only now learning this, so take heed and learn it at your age, before you get too messed up) where you have to decide:
1) Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are not other people. You are you and when you say "I want to be like them" then you are saying you don't want to be yourself. Stop living your life by other people's terms. You have to be comfortable with yourself. My dad used to tell me "You were born into this world by yourself, and you'll go out by yourself. So you better be comfortable with yourself, honey, because you've got a lot of important things to do."
2) Decide what is more important in your life. In high school, I would have sold my right arm (or my mother's - somebody's arm, at any rate) to be thin and pretty. But beauty fades. And it can be faked. Character does not fade, and can't be faked, and lasts forever. It's about high time people realize that.
If you have back issues requiring surgery, then that happens. There's nothing you can do to fix it, so would you rather be pretty or healthy?
As for things to do: you don't need rich parents to give you lessons. I was dirt poor and found PLENTY of fun things to do and excel at. I started a 4-H club for bakers, did astronomy, and learned how to draw nature by watching nature.
It's a huge fallacy in this world that you need money in order to be good at something. "Gatekeepers" would prefer you believe this theory, in order so that the club can be exclusive and only the "right" (popular?) people can be a part of society. I say, screw that. If you want to be good at something, then go out and do it, but don't believe the crap "society" spews out.
Trust me: without knowing any more details than what I've read here, I can tell you that you are 100% because you are YOU. An individual. Don't become one of the sheep!!!!
I'll get off my soapbox now.
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It doesn't necessarily cost a lot of money to do things that make you feel good about yourself.
Your school probably has clubs. I was never a sporty person, but I was able to join the Model Parliament one year, and had a great time. If there isn't an appealing one, make one. A book club, or a board game club, or a club focused around another hobby or interest of yours. Plus, being a club president looks fantastic on a college application...
Getting some exercise is also a good idea. Not to lose weight, but to be healthy and happy. Exercise can be free, like going for a long walk with your mp3 player, or cost very little, like Zumba classes at your local YMCA (which does subsidized memberships for those with low income)
Otherwise, my biggest suggestion for people who are down on themselves is to volunteer. Find an organization that you believe in and commit to help out: it doesn't have to be a soup kitchen. It gives you a place to be outside of the house, it makes you feel good and it makes others feel good. Help kids with homework at the local library, work in a community organic garden if that's your thing, or volunteer at a museum or historical site. It really is a great booster.
Looks will become less important as you grow older. For some people they remain a top priority: those people aren't going to be in your circle of peers for very long. Achievers tend to value brains and work ethic more than anything else. Plus, you will grow into yourself. I'm not the hottest thing going, but I'm a heck of a lot more comfortable with myself now (at age 23) than I was when I was 16. I know it's cliched to say that beauty comes from within, but it really does. A smile and a positive attitude go a long way.
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