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husbands porn collection is it normal
I am 42 and been married three years to a 57 year old man!My concern is this i gound a jump drive laying on floor put it into my computer and it had 57,000 pics of naked women and porn clips!Is this normal behavior or is he obssessed?Most were young girls about 20,he is very conservitive with me so this really surprised and hurt me at the same time!He also goes on this nude hikes!I dint really have a problem with some porn but i am hurt that this is what he does when im not around!As he has been married three times before and discusses sexual past at times also!Im having a hard time even looking at him,he doesnt know i even have jump drive as i havnt decided what to do!
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Many men enjoy looking at porn be they married or single. Having 57,000 pictures of nude women, going on nude nature hikes, without your knowledge is not normal behavior. Your husband may be a sex addict. He is most definitely addicted to a certain type of pornography.
There is an organization much like Alcoholics Anonymous called COSA that I found on the Web. COSA is a twelve-step recovery program for men and women whose lives have been affected by another person's compulsive sexual behavior.
Adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon, COSA is a program for our spiritual development, no matter what our religious beliefs. As we meet to share our experience, strength, and hope while working the twelve steps, we grow stronger in spirit. We begin to lead our lives more serenely and in deeper fulfillment, little by little, one day at a time. Only in this way can we be of help to others. COSA is:
An anonymous twelve-step fellowship
Self-supported through the weekly voluntary contributions of members
Not affiliated with outside organizations, including treatment centers, religions, or therapy.
AA has been very effective in helping people recover from alcohol addiction. COSA not only treats the addict but treats the addicts partner. I've included a link to their site which includes a locator for their meetings. I suggest you try a few meetings to see if they can be of help to you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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It is normal for a man to view porn however I couldn't possibly disagree with Julie more.
Your husband has a problem, He is an an addict. The fact that he has been married in a few times in the past is somewhat of a concern and should of raised a few flags. Assuming that his married fell out do to porn being a huge part of his life this man needs to seek some sort of professional help.
57,000 is an excessive amount of porn and you know you have a problem when the porn begins to effect your marriage. This man may not realize he has a problem nor want to admit it but unless he seeks help for his porn hoarding......There may be little hope anything will change. This is a warning due to years of impulse. Your husband is a sex addict and needs to seek help. Try talking to him about your concerns.
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No. A little surfing the porn sites and magazines is a normal. 57,000 views is not normal. Let me say that again...it is not normal. What else would you do 57,000 times that wouldn't make you think you had a problem? Would you worry if he took 57,000 drinks in that time? 57,000 cigarettes? 57,000 times cutting himself? 57,000 visits to the ice cream shop? Anything! Just think about that. You married a man that has three previous marriages. That should have been a red flag right away that he has issues maintaining intimate relationships. Porn addiction is a very real problem (google it if you don't believe me). It affects many men, many many men, so your husband is not alone in that sense. Go to marriage therapy/counseling right away. There is a deeper problem here and you need to have a safe place where you can explore that problem together. His addiction to porn isn't about having a "sexual appetite", it is much more serious than that. If you want your marriage to survive, you both need to find help right away. Before you worry about the price, keep in mind that a divorce is much more expensive. If he won't go with you, go by yourself. You need to figure out how to handle the situation, how you got there in the first place, and what to do next. You need help to that. Good luck.
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This means he still has a healthy sex drive. If he's not turning you down for sex or going away for long periods of time, you probably don't have anything to worry about. If you have carnations growing in your garden, do you not look at the roses because the carnations might get jealous? Every man likes to look but as long as he's not touching, let him have hs fun. I hope this helps and good luck.
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