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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Hi my name's Sophia and I'm 16 and I've been dating my boyfriend Eli, who's 18, for about a year now. Lately I've been realising that I no longer love my boyfriend because I feel that way but because I feel like I'm forced to and that I'm afraid of him more than anything. I know that when it comes to a relationship I'm not supposed to fear the person I'm dating but he doesn't make it easy on me. It somehow seems that everything I do is wrong and he gets angry with me if he doesn't have his way. And a few days ago things got rougher than usual. I normally sleep over at his place if my parents are both working the same night, so a few days ago was one of those nights. And I was just really tired and I didn't want to do anything sexual and I had asked my boyfriend if we could do it another night cuz I was tired and he told me no. And I quickly answered him Are you serious rn I'm tired and he just hit me out of nowhere and said to never talk to him that way again or it'll be more than a slap that he'll use to fix my attitude. And I of course had to sleep with him because no wasn't an option. I'm just tired of being scared of him but if I break up with him he'll hurt me, I'm just scared and tired and I just want to do something and get away from him but I just feel trapped. Advice would be really helpful.

Hi dear

Sorry to hear you find yourself in this situation. Yes it can be very scary, its also not healthy for you in the long run. I had an abusive relationship in first marriage. I have come to respect a young gal about 25 who has video blog about sex and relationships. She has one called Relationshit about what can go wrong in dating and that statisics are high, that one in 3 females will be abused by their boyfriend, either verbally, emotionally or physcially or all of them. Heres her video with suggestions at the end of reaching out for help. The hardest part is when you still have feelings for a person and can't see leaving them or you feel they could become violent to the point your life is in danger.k But just because those are possibilities is no reason to live a miserable life of fear and walking on egg shells all the time. I know it. Youre 16 so still under parents protection and guidance. As hard as it may be to confess what he's doing to you, you may have to talk to Mom, or as suggested, a counselor, teacher, any older adult you trust. A police report may have to be filed at some point too if he harasses you and won't let you go. Yes, you need to leave. Watch this video and hopefully you will reach out for help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXpUr7aXV2c

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Hi.. 17 F..
I am really shy. I don't have a good selfesteem at all. I am overweight (198 lbs) but I exircise and play hockey. I am also on al diet but I am struggeling to loose any weight. I am not popular and people tend to tell me I'm fat. I am shy because of "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ selfesteem and I don't get out much. I just want someone to like me. Pleade help me?

I'm going to launch off what Tats said, "If you want somebody to like you, you need to like yourself first." To a great extent, I've found that to be true but there are situations in which there are less tendency for that saying to work. A big one is when the group of people you want to be liked by are all your peers/being of the teen or preteen years in age. this age group (i've been there) comes with lots of self esteem issues, (its just some are better at hiding they have issues) and wanting to be liked and accepted and loved by someone and popular. We try to copy each other in what areas we can, believing that what outside changes we make will somehow get us our results.
Thru a womens article on how to gain self image good confidence, I read about borrowing the self confidence of a celebrity. The article did not go into the psychology behind it but simply the how tos of what to do.
I'd rather start with telling you that what you foucs your thoughts on and your self image is wrapped up in your thoughts, is going to manifest.
You've probaby heard plenty of people who quote or write books a out thinking positive to have success in wealth. Actually, your thoughts form a sort of energy, either positive or negative. People are like radio's able to pick up these energy patterns as clearly as a radio picks up radio waves, the signal strong enough to play a stations songs.
I was shocked at how people responded to my experiment, It felt like I had almost brainwashed everyone in my world by the reactions I got.

SO heres my story. I was divorced and going into dating scene again and wanted more self confidence. I thought I'd start small and focus on just one small part of my appearance. I at least had the strongest positive feelings about my eyes and felt they were expressive and attractive. The article mentioned borrowing the confidence of a celebrity who has same, similar or equally impressive attention to whatever asset. So I chose an actress who eyes I felt were equally impressive to mine, just not beleiving the rest of me was..yet. I would do a mental exercise of imagining my self superimposed with her image and the kind of confidence that celebrity have in front of camera. Also I pictured entering rooms and people noticing me and reacting much the way they would if a celebrity walked in. I did this repeatedly, each day upon leaving home, each time before entering another building or room, yes even school, the store, etc. Then I would stop focusing on it. Well, I got both women and men of all ages come up to me and tell me I had the prettiest eyes, comment on the color or theyare the prettiest eyes they'd ever seen. These weren't people who kinda knew me, but were total strangers and half the time I wasn't even wearing makeup.
So why all of a sudden was I getting my eyes noticed when people hadn't noticed them before?
The answer is, they picked up on the positive energy my mind was putting out there, since mine was focused only on my eyes, they commented strictly on my eyes, not my hair or my outfit. So the majority of what people perceive about a person has nothihg to do with their looks but that invisible instruction they are picking up from the energy you set out. If its a negative low esteem one, thats how they will see you no matter if they are an older adult and no longer a teen.
LEts be honest, if you were not shy, would you be attracted to seek out a new friend with someone who either seems boring or mopes around, can't look you in the eye, is too shy to hardly talk to you? There would be very little satisfying interaction.
So try this trick, borrowing the confidence of someone famous and pucture yourself in your minds eye, looking like them before going out. Once you have enough success of positive comments, look at all ages, not just your peers, then you won't no longer need to borrow self confidence. Something ab out the positive experiences will create a self confidence in you and it can grown from there.

As to the weight, Id can't say if theres medical reasons behind it or its what you eat but lots more people in the U> are becoming overweight to obese and it isn't entirely our fault. The same foods we've always e eaten or our parents did growing up, are not the same foods we are eating today. We are eating foods approved for consumption that haven't been tested properly or negative results ignored. I won't go further into the politics of it. But those who change their diet to less processed foods, go for a natural foods/health store brands/ and organic are more likely to lose weight but also become more healthy and it can affect ones mental outlook as well. Those who've had even greater successes are those who've switched to and stayed on a vegan diet, not to be confused with vegetarian. Vegan is probably the healthier of the diets out there. If you are playing sports, keep that up, drink lots of fluids though and between all that, you should be able to come down to a normal weight unless there are health issues for it like thyroid problems or such.
YOu know as I do that who you really are isn't as much what you look like on the outside but what you are on the inside, your personality and character. Its just that lots of people have trouble getting past what they see on the outside, making judgements that way. It lessons as we get older cus as we age we get wrinkles, gray hair and at one point can no longer rely on our good looks to attract friends or attract or keep a partner. It depends much more on who we are on the inside. From here on out, you will find the older the person the more likely they will be accepting of you but it sure helps to be at optimum health on the inside, and have a healthy self esteem and self confidence. A self confidence can be more about your abilities and talents than looks which fade with age. I can see things that have changed for me, I am a smaller person but I now have a muffin top for my middle, I have half and half silver and my usual haircolor, wrinkles, saggy skin, crepy skin and the start of the first liver spots on my hands. I could either go into hiding and tell myself I am no longer pretty and then watch others treat me the same, or I can move about my day happy to be alive, accept these changes as a normal part of aging and still feel good about myself, eat healthy and exercise, stay healthy emotionally and mentally and it makes a big difference in how others look at you. We are led to think that fat or older age are things that make a female not attractive to a male. Well, I've not battled with fat but i can't escape the aging and yet no matter what I am looking like now, men still keep eyeing me and smiling and flirting. Not just the older men but theres even the handfull of younger ones as well. Heres something else I can tell you. I read about studies done using men and women of all types who if I remember right weren't told exactly what they were testing for. Men would initially seek out those who were the prettiest or fair on the eyes to them but the ones they ended up spending most the time with was women with self confidence. Insecure wonen who were model quality lost their interest to the more plain but s elf confident woomen consistantly. They could only conclude that males are more attracted to self confidence than anything else.
If i can drive in the subject of self confidence any more, I will relate my experiences visiting a nudist camp with friends. I was introduced around to lots of people, two of whom were extremely huge females, you'd look small compared to them. Now I am an adult at this point and don't judge people by their looks. However, I found myself more drawn to wanting to be around and chat with the one woman over the other and asked my self why. I thought long and hard and had to admit that I had picked up on self confidence in one gal but not in the other. One was there more to challenge people to not like her with her clothes off, to perhaps prove that she wasn't likeable. I can't say what was in her mind, just that I found her to even seem unlovely in looks. Now i am female, but in the positive gal, its like I never noticed her fat, I mean, I saw it was there but my focus wasn't on it. I was watching her animated face, sparkling eyes, laughter, listening to her story telling, she had quite a few people hanging around her, even had a boyfriend with her and I was overwhelmed to find this thought enter my mind, that she was actually beautiful. There was something about the vitality and loveliness of who she was inside that couldn't be hidden on the outside. That is one of the most impressive events in my life. Not that I would accept someone just because of my mind set to be positive towards them despite whatever... but the fact that I could see her as another pretty female.
I did like the advice about deciding what activities besides hocky you're interestest in and joining groups or clubs with others you have the same area of interest. It is always an easier place to start to make friends. Take my daughter as an example: she joined a hiking club at your age. Didn't have driver license or car but people of all ages who wanted safety of having another person along in case they rain into trouble were glad to pick her up and take her, anything from singles in their 30s to older married couples in their 50s and 60s. She learned how to converse and become friend with people of all ages and in that there was a better way to gauge if she was having a positive effect with her energy rather than the more negative biased one she'dd seen all her HS. life. She did have a small group of friends, mostly all girls who were rejected by others for being different somehow, too skinny, too big, a siccan instead of regular CHristian faith, goths, emo before it became popular, and so on. Let me know if you have more to talk about on the self esteem level but try this trick and see.

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I've already been to the doctor, and I will describe what happened here, in the question. But, I'm really trying to get an opinion from someone else that perhaps, has gone through what I've gone through.

PROBLEM #1: I'm 25/f and I'm just extremely tired. I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. When I wake up, all I can think about is how much longer until I can go back to sleep. I just feel genuinely exhausted. I'm always being urged to go on vacations, but I don't seem to be interested in them. When I think of having a three day weekend, the last thing I wanna do is go on vacation. I just want to catch up on sleep and maybe some television. I have my bachelor's in education and I worked as an assistant teacher for some time. But, I had horrible experiences. I did it three years. The first year, it was terrible because I was still in school and I had another part time job. I would work from 8:30-3:30, then go to my other job from 4-8pm. Then, I would typically have class from 8:30-10:00 at night. I would get home by 10:30 and if I was lucky, I'd be asleep by 11, and do it all over again the next day. It was horrible. Keep in mind, too, that school requires work outside of class. So, it's not like I had the weekends to relax. It was just go go go. I became so anxious that I had to start taking medication to relax. I thought that I was having a heart attack one day, unable to breathe, but it was really just anxiety. So, I took that for a little while, and eventually, I felt better, my schedule leveled out, and I was able to come off of it. But, I enjoyed my job and my kids so much. Had it not been for everything else, I probably would have loved it more. The second time, I was working in after care, and it was completely different. There were no lessons and it was super boring. All I did was basically watch children play. No challenge, no stimulation. Then, the third time, I just got stuck with a horrible teacher. I guess I wasn't the only one because I heard from an old friend of her's that all her assistant's quit. That she was impossible to work with. That was the straw that led me to leave teaching. I quickly enrolled in a higher education master's program and started working in a university office. I've been working there for 9 months now. Honestly, though, this is not what I love to do. In addition, having a year round 8-5 schedule is not something I was use to. My goal now, is to get back into teaching and eventually, become a guidance counselor. But, I lack the confidence. And it's not because I don't have the credentials. I do. I just really lack confidence in so many areas of my life.

PROBLEM #2: I recently moved into my own house. I was very excited about this. My mom is single and lives with my grandparents. My uncle recently divorced his wife, and he and his daughter (my cousin) are living with my grandparents. My mom was given her own efficiency room (which I had been asking for since the time I was 19), and she refuses to stay there as a way to protest my uncle's staying there. She cries every day saying she wants to go home and wants her room back. But, she decided it would be more appropriate to stay with me. She now refuses to stay in the guest room. She sleeps in my bed. I have an efficiency in my home, which I rent out to tenants. So, I only have one bathroom right now, on my side of the house. She's made a complete mess. I never had my own room growing up. All I was excited about was getting my own room, then I got my own house, and she took over my room. I don't think I should have to move into my grandparent's efficiency and give my mom MY HOUSE just because she decided. I should be able to stay in MY HOUSE. She's the one that needs to go home.

PROBLEM #3: my mom controls my relationships like you wouldn't imagine. There's one I've had to keep a secret from her because she's threatened my safety. I have felt suicidal about this and couldn't shake the thought of escaping the prison she's put me in. I would never follow through with this. But, it's not an easy thing to live with. Ideally, I just want to leave this city. But, eventually, I will have to face her if I decide to continue this relationship. But, the fear eats me up alive every day.

All of these problems, I believe, are leading me to feel depressed. But, if they disappeared... if I suddenly felt more confident and happy in my career, if I was able to feel rested after a night' sleep, if I had my own bedroom, if my mom wasn't involved in my relationships, if I could date whoever I wanted at 25, if I could go out without my mom calling me 24/7 about when I was coming home... I think I would be happy. I look at people's pictures on Facebook and there's these 2 girls in particular that I know who are SO cheerful! I'm sure they have problems and I'm not naive enough to think they've got it all together. But, their cheerful. I can't even be cheerful. I'm constantly worried, afraid of my mom, and tired. My uncle took over her home and now she took over mine. I would leave the city sooner, but I'm still finishing my master's program.

So, do you think I'm depressed? That I actually need medication... or that these are circumstances causing me to feel this way? They will always try to get you to be on meds for "a little while" but, why should I have to put unwanted hormones into my body just because my aunt decided to leave my uncle? Because my mom decided to take over my house? It's just not fair. Why do I have to be medicated because of irresponsible people taking advantage of me? Taking pills isn't going to change the problem with my mom and the dating thing. It's not gonna take my mom out of the house. My mom watches TV in my room till 11 or 12. i have to be up by 6. So, yes, I'm tired! Why should i have to take pills because my mom won't let me sleep at 9:30/10:00? Or do you think this is deeper... and I need pills?

Thanks in advance

As adviceman said, ones general practitioner isn't qualified to determine if you have depression. For that you need a specialist. However, there may be something your regular Dr. can check for.

A lot of the health problems of today come from the fact that our food and water system was been vastly compromised and much of what people eat or drink today not to mehtion personal care products and cleansers have so much toxins in it that eventually humans succumb to it. Without food or drink or anything else that hasn't been tampered with, we can (depending on how strong our body is to fight it) gain weight to obesity levels, heart disease, diabetes, but also lesser known is the various allergies now to foods or bot actually the food but what else is in there. Theres a reason why many people go to batural organic means to feed themselves, like gluten free, but its so much more. Pesticides in our foods may not kill in one meal but they add up over the years and we are now seeing in society the back lash of those moves. Worse yet is that if there is no immediate illness or reaction to a foreigb non food substance in our food and drink, the The food and drug asso. labels it healthy for human consumption. So if its not true depression and you haven't had it in life before Monsanto began adding GMO food and fertilizers to our food chain, then it may be due to the unfluence of these poisons and chemicals. They are very hard to avoid completely.

here's one link that gives the symptoms of Leaky gut ussues in a person, one of which are depression and fatigue that won't go away. When a person is not at their optimum best health wise, they will not feel like engaging in the normal activities.
http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/what-is-leaky-gut-syndrome/?gclid=CNHou-zVjM4CFYeVfgod4WcFkw

Now our regular doctors and dieticians have no idea why there are so many people with the same chronic health issues lately. When I asked my doctor why all doctors are stressing that every person over a certain age get their colon checked out for possible cancer, she said the AMA, medical asso, if it finds any health conditions on the uprise, will start testing ALL people for it. They don't think beyond that to what is causing the uprise. If you indeed do have this issue, leaky gut, you will need to self educate on what to do to get back to health. Our bodies are marvelous healing machines, once given the clean food and water and rest that the human body needs to get back to healthy. Taking a medicine for depression that isn't an imbalance the person was born with the weakened tendency towards, is not going to help the depression is its actually being caused by whats in our food supply.

My husband suffered a major problem with stomacy this year and I have been having many more allergic reactions of lately and since I've known of natural health and such for a long time, I am now no longer dabbling in it a bit but seriously going after changing our diet drastically. It is more expensive, more foods you have to prepare and cook from scratch so time consuming but if what we eat is healthier, our bodies require less volume of food to obtain all the vitamins and minerals we need. Vitamins even don't help, we've been taking them. The poisons are still in our food and environment. Why wait until its so serious you have an illness that keeps you bed bound all the time? There are books you can read to learn what you need as you won't get the advice needed from regualr medical people, cus they just dont know and havent been trained. You dont need a degree however but just common sense and being observing enough of every little thing going on in your body to know if you are doing better or not.
If you use facebookk at all, do a search for No GMO and a list of possible pages to subscribe to will come up including ones of healthy recipes alternatives, gluten free cooking, etc. and make sure to mark these to show up at the top of your feed once you get on line so you don't miss any articles. This is how I discovered the healing properties of coconut oil and there are so many things it does that are good for you that it is called a super food, one that should be in every persons diet. Remember the road to gettig ill was slowly over the years so back to health won't be instant either but you should be able to eventuall6 track some areas in which you are feeling and doing better.
Heres somes sites I read that I get as feeds on FB:
Non GMO project (this deals more with the laws and political aspects of it)

Just Eat Real Food (This site explains the health benefits of certain foods and which ones help with any so called medical conditions. Don't stop taking Dr meds but after a while, go get tested and if your health problem no longer exists the Dr. will take you off your meds and just shrug and declare the incidence as a miracle.)

Eat Local Grown (This promotes knowing where you get your food from, farmer markets and health food stores, asking them questions as to how they raise and process the food, and also provides great recipes as an alternative to what is offered now, especially if going gluten free or dairy free or even just cutting down.

There are many more but you want to sign up for the ones that have plenty of daily feeds rather than one or two a month. I am undergoing some serious retraining on foods how they are raised and the health benefits to or the unhealthy side effets of other things.
Before you go on meds for depression, it should be the last resource, that you seek out. If true depression or anxiety, there are now for a couple decades a couple of known other things, non medicinal that have helped way more people than meds have. Even those who had been on meds for years, now fully cured. One method is CBT, cognitive behavorial therapy. The basis is on distorted thinking, something we all do at times but dwelling on it month in and out, over time will cause thinking (cognitive) based on negativity which affects our behavior then. If you want to read some books to know how well this works and to have hope, I would recommend author and psychologist, Dr. David D. Burns. I found two of his books at the local library.

I recommend you checking out his website too and listening to podcasts of how he started his change from only giving out meds for depression to promoting CBT first and now his T.E.A.M. methods. The podcasts are new. Started in last two months. The first shows on opening page, then 2 thr 4 are found on tab for Dr Burns Blogs. It might be uplifting and encouraging for you to find and read the section of people like you and me who wrote in telling him of what they suffered and how his books cured them. Its not so easy for most tho and I've read the books. Most people will need to read and also see a psychologist who uses these methods. If you are ready to check with one to see if you do have a need, I'd ask at this website for referrals of Dr.s in your area if you're not in N. Calif. or can't attend one of his traveling seminars.

https://feelinggood.com/


I have shared alot but I hope that no matter what the main source of your issue is, I know its got to be either mental or physical so these are the best leads I can give.

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Im 24 F and my best friend is 21 F. We've been friends for about two years and things were great. I also have a past of depression. Im also on Zoloft. So when I drink sometimes my emotions are out of control for the fact that im taking an antidepressant and then drinking is a depressant. Im so tired of trying to hold my friend up for the struggles shes going through nevermind trying to better myself. My best friend is beautiful and I would die to have her body and everything about her but she is so insecure. She literarily goes on a date with two different guys every week from tinder. And it bothers me, and she doesn't want to tell me her experience because I'm kind of a bitch about it because it makes me angry. Shes been single for about 2 months and I feel like shes trying to hard to get a boyfriend. It bothers me because I care so much about her and I don't think a guy is going to make her happy. Last night I was at her house and she had me and another girl over and some guy shes talking to. I was annoyed because im starting to feel like everytime we hang out she doesn't want to spend time with me she always has to have another person to hang out with us. Anyway, she had this guy come over and he was really attractive, and it made me feel bad about myself. Ive been single for a year and haven't dated anyone and watching her sit on this guys lap and be all over him made me feel sad. I was drinking and I was jealous. I was suppose to sleep at her house last night but I was tired, and that guy was still there. So I told her I was going to drive 40 mins to go home so she could spend time with this guy. She felt bad and knew I was upset, but its my own insecurities it makes me feel worse about myself, like wow is anyone ever going to like me? Probably not because im not as pretty, and im annoying, and im worthless are all the things I'm putting in my head right now. I cried my mom on the way home balling my eyes out saying that its so hard to keep friends, and if it wasn't for her and my dad I don't want to be on this earth anymore. My friend has a lot of aniexty and it stresses me out. For an example, I have another friend. My first friend gets mad at me when I hang out with friend #2 and is like "your replacing me" or "thanks for inviting me" and im like you have your friends why cant I have mine? I have to block friend number 1 from everything on social media when I hang with friend number 2 because I try and avoid conflict. When I left my friends house I told her I didn't want to tell her why I was upset because shes going to through it back at me and be like "well I don't want you to come over because im going to have this guy over." And its annoying. im tired. I didn't realize how hard it is to have friends. All my life I wanted friends and now that I have them I don't want any. its so hard like I can't go here or go there because what if she gets mad. She also gets in fights with me over everything. I told her she needs to chill with the boys and she just continues to fight with me and I try to end the conversation but shell keep bringing things up its annoying. I don't know what to do. How do I be more supportive of my friend, and are my feelings accurate about being sad?

I'll say this much, for anyone to invite over a practical stranger they met on line and be on their lap practically making out while you have your best friend present is actually in very bad taste. Bot surprising since a great part of society has no clue what manners are anymore. All you have to tell her is that next time she wants you to meet a guy she's met, let it be a casaual public thing like at a coffee shop.

Ofcourse since she's not able to duplicate herself and have one of her go off to the movies with you while the other sits at home on the lap of her latest love, then she really should not even be trying to attempt this. Let her know you dont care to witness any couple 'gettng into it'. A chaste kiss in public by a couple shouldnt be bothering to anyone.
I don't see how you need a break from her. But then what are you trying to accomplish with this break? You must have reasons. Is it to teach her a lesson to treat you better? If she has such low self esteem, then until that is cured, she's going to continue to be this way. Are you trying to discover what your tolerance level is for being around her? How long can you go and be okay without seeing her? If this is going on, then perhaps she just isn't the right kind of person for you to have as a friend if you are miserable every time you're with her. If hoping that not seeing her for a while will make her change into the perfect friend to get you back, thats not how it works. Change is scary for all humans. We are more like hobbits, creatures of our comfort and the familiar and nothing external can really change us. Yes, we may look at others or listen to counselors for examples of how to be different, be better but it starts deep inside with wanting to address whatever issues are holding one back, willing to admit one has a problem first, wether its shyness, low self image, distorted thinking, anger problem, acting too rashly, etc... the list is long. I'm just tossing out some of the most common reasons a person may be acting a certain way that is irritating to others. Until she realizes that everything she's trying, or her choices of finding guys each week doesnt really make her feel any better she'll keep doing anything to keep her busy so she doesnt have time on her hands to actually actively begin to seek answers.

I hope I don't offend with the next but I've been there in this situation too so I know its an issue. Often we are irratated and get upset with the people closest to us, family and frends, is we see reflected in them, the same or somewhat the same issues in them that we know we are dealing with ourselves. When I now find myself irritated at a person for doing .......
whatever, I look next at myself and ask myself if I tend to have that same issue in another way. It can be hard to see it in oneself but if we could, we then realize its nothing more than a version of the blind leading the blind. Maybe not that bad but one who hasn't mastered something in life, angry or upset with a friend who is pretty much in the same boat. Comparing that one is worse off than the other doesnt help. Thats like a Senior in Hs getting upset with a fourth grader for not passing a test they struggled with too but passed because they knew more and such.

You did mention right at the start being depressed and on Zoloft. It makes me wonder if you beleive your depression has something to do with you contemplating a break from your friend. All I can say here is that with no changes for the better depression wise, even on meds, not having a friend around might be even harder on you. I dont know. You know yourself best.If you want to try it, go ahead, no ones gonna stop you. See how it goes. There wnot be any good changes and any changes most likely will leave you feeling worse if not her also.
You can't change and fix her. All you have the power and control to change in life is yourself and how you interact and react to life. There are always choices. Do you want to continue using Zoloft or if there was something other than medications that some psychologosts are now using to treat and heal people with depression and anxieties. But you have to find the right doctor to get a chance to try this therapy, CBT as its called. If interested, let me know and I'll share how it helped me overcome severe social anxiety and books you can read on topic, and a website dedicated to people feeling good instead of depressed. Good luck.

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Hi I'm 17 and i am a virgin...recently i finished studying and during my 2 months of test ...i didnt get a period for the first hectic month....i woorried but on the second month and the last day if my exam it came...now i am on the third month and there is nothing but intense discomfort on my labia majora...well on the left side....it hurts and itches a lot...when i bathe it is ok for a few minutes. ..i dont know what to do...i cant tell anyone as they will think i had sex and the only nearby hospital is packed with my mum friends ...i googled what could be the problem but the results ranged from omg to oh not too bad....please should i worry.. or is this just a teen stuff...because i wrote here already about pelvic pain and i was infoemef it was just growth and it would stop and it did....pls going to a doctor cant happen because ps my mum has mental issues (diagnosed ) so maybe can u tell me if this is normal basef on past experiences ...thx a whole lot

As a female in menopause but who went all her life to regular checkups with a gynecologist/Dr. whose focus is womens reprocuctive organs, births and such, I can tell you that they drilled into me each visit how important it was to come see them even if not a regular scheduled visit, if either of the two symptoms are persent, one that you are experiencing any pain or two that you are having a heavy flow that won't stop...as those could be signs of something serious. Women can get all sorts of issues that are not related whatsoever with being sexually active. You can get vaginal infections, yeast and vaginitis, feminine itching, pains, irregular periods, late due to stress or heavier bleeding with each cycle....all not related to sex activities at all. So relax, With what adviceman told you, whomever you go see for a checkup, is not allowed to share any information with parents. It has been a law for adults, the doctors confidentiality for quite some time and that law was ex tended to teens in the US. In case you live in the UK, I don't know it the law extends to teens there too, but since tis pretty much the same, Dr. confidentaiality with patients in many countires, I would ask first if they can do so before making an appt. or otherwise, seek out a womens clinic or any that cater to teens in your area.

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Ok, so as a 17 yr old first time mommy, I was wondering what other people thought about his situation. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and I live with my boyfriends parents. My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant and my bf is away at college. I have become super close to my bf's mom in the time that I have stayed there. Would it be weird if I asked her to be in the Delivery Room with me? My boyfriend and his family are the only ones that are supporting me through this and I feel I will need all the support I can get. I figured it might also be a treat for her as she only had four sons and this might be the only time she will ever be able to be in the Delivery Room for the birth of one of her grand babies.

Other than hospital regulations, your the one who gets to call the shots as to who may be in the room or not.
Considering your family was not supportive, and there are bad feelings on both sides, it is not in your best interest to have your parents or even just your Mom with you. Since BFs mom is now like another mom to you plus she is one of the grandmothers, it is not odd at all to have her and the bigger issue is that you are as relaxed as possible on this special day. Having your family anywhere near you on this day will not achieve that.
Whoever else you may debate over having in the delivery room, you want people who won't lose their cool if they hear you or other birthing moms in the ward screaming. I remember finding it unnearving to hear other women screaming when I was doing my darndest to try to stay calm and follow the advice of my friend who was my coach and had taken child birthing classes, whereas I had not.
I would highly recommend your taking child birthing classes, even if you d ecide to not go batural childbirth. The thing they don't tell you is that any epidural shot to numb you insn't given until it is time to push. All the time of contractions beforehand has to be gone thru without pain medication so a new mom better darm well know how to handle that with breathing techniques and such. i never understood getting a shot to kill pain during the pushing. With 3 kids, there was never any pain during the pushing part when birth is immiment. The pusbing actually feels good and if at 10 centimeters and no complications, then you can push whenever you want to without waiting for the next contraction.
Even if prepared, it isn't the easiest ordeal to go thru and remember everything when you are in the midst of it and stay calm. My daughter hired a doula, a birthing coach. Unlike a midwife, they do not delvier the baby but help you from the time of your first contractions, staying by your side an a helpful calming influence. I was the birthing partner who went to classes with daughter since the daddy was on a ship at sea. When the time came, even tho I'd had 3 and stayed calm with each birth, I can tell you that as a mother, hearing my child in pain scared the crap out of me and I was panicking alot and if not for the doula who went with us to hospital, things would not have gone as well. So no matter if you are taking classes and have a birthing partner, they may even if relaxed easy going normally, and close to you as family, still have a hard time remaining calm and still being helpful. Just a little helpful advice to help being even more prepared. Good luck with the baby dear.

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I've been seeing my current boyfriend for about a month and a half now, but didn't start having sex with him until he made us official. Since then I've had sex with him a handful of times and I'm just not enjoying it which is a bit shocking to me, because I really enjoyed the sex with my ex and considered myself to have a high sex drive.

I think half of it is mental for me. I feel like he almost expects sex now because I can usually predict when he's going to start making a move for it. However, I know this isn't really true because I've said no before and he totally respected my decision and we went on about the night cuddling and everything. I think part of this is that my exes have always constantly wanted sex anytime they saw me and I would feel pushed into it or like I had to.

Another issue is I'm still nervous about doing it with him and just trying really hard to make him happy. He's had 4 sexual partners before me and I've only has 2 so I'm also really stressed out about that. I'm scared I don't measure up to them and it's always on my mind in the bedroom.

The other half is physical. I really need foreplay to get aroused. I'm not like those girls in the movie who can just be prepared to have sex anytime anywhere. I'm trying so hard to make him happy though that I've just been submitting to him for the most part when he wants it and I'm not ready and it winds up being really painful for me (which I haven't told him). It doesn't help that I'm very petite so already I'm smaller than most girls. He's larger than the other men I've been with too.

He keeps offering to do oral on me first, but I'm not comfortable with that with him yet. My exes considered going down on a girl as "disgusting" so that's kind of stuck in my head now and whenever he tries I immediately get very uncomfortable and stop him.

I do like being fingered, but I don't know how to bring this up to him. He's tried a little bit before, but he doesn't really seem to know how to do it right and it winds up not feeling like anything.

If I was prepared, I feel like the sex would be great because he's into all kinds of positions and can last for quite a long time, but I've just been in so much pain and afraid to tell him that I haven't gotten off at all where as he.

I was also thinking we should probably buy lubricant because I keep getting dry (which is weird for me too because usually I get really wet and stay that way) but again I feel like this is a really awkward thing for me to ask.


How do I go about resolving these issues? I'm so upset about it that I'm not comfortable having sex with him again unless I can figure out how to make it better because I'm sick of being in pain.

As Adviceman said, sex is a major part of a relationship and good communication in a sexual relationship is vital. I will share my thoughts concerning each issue you mentioned starting with the possibility it might be part mental for you.

Actually, sex and getting aroused is largely a mental thing and our brain is our greatest sex organ.How we feel emotions wise is largely due to what is going on for us in our physical world. Take for example watching a romantic movie and you end up feeling romantic, or better yet, you watch a sad movie, you know its just a script and its actors but you still cry when something sad happens or something bad or abusive makes you feel anger toward a character, even tho its just an acted part.
Thats how closely our actions and emotions follow our thoughts.
As for males wanting sex all the time, well whether it's even feasible at t he moment or whether he's just had sex, men if they have a female they are aroused by, will always want sex or some kind of closeness if there isn't privacy at the time. Sometimes it isn't even about the sex but about being wanted by their female and loved by her. So I have found, its how I treat my man and touch him and talk to him during the portion of the day or evening when we are not going to have sex.
However... Just because a guy enjoys and craves sex with a female doesnt necessarily mean he loves or is in love with her. Men can experience lust or love with sex and women see sex as the vehicle to getting a man's devotion. It doesnt work that way for men. Theres always an exception to the rule but most men whose heart hasn't fallen in love with a woman can still have sex and not experience love or grow to love her because of it. So whether he makes a move for it, and. Sex is important in the beginning for reasons other than being in love. Attraction is the first thing one feels. Its when we act on that attraction and start spending time with a person to get to know them better, we find whether we have enough in common to make it work or not. This doesnt just apppt to the every day best friend part of a relationship but the sexual lover part as well. You have to have enough in common sexually to make it work.
One big difference that can occur is one person having a lower libido and the other a higher one. This means one partner doesnt want or need sex as often as the other. Beither is wrong, just different. Whats important is to be with someone similar so one doesnt feel that sex is the only thing to the relationship and the other isn't frustrated that they aren't getting the amount they need. It shouldn't have anything to do with reassurances that one cares about the one but is actually an act one does out of the caring and love in their heart felt for the other. In the beginning, the love may not yet be there but develope in time, but sec, even before one has become an official couple isn't bad if the only expectation there, as I have had, was to determine simply if I had enough in common with a man sexually before I invested more time to the relationship. I learned this from first marriage where I was a virgin and he was totally wrong for me sexually.

You have a misconception that just because someone has had more lovers than another, that means they have more sexual experience. Don't worry, a lot of people, including myself, belieed that once upon a time when I was younger and not as experienced life wise.
The truth is the basics are all the same, like the mechanical putting the round peg in the round hole part, but all people are unique in what they like and don't like, what it takes to get them in the mood, get ready for intercourse, etc. Basically, other than intercourse, I have had to learn anew each new sex partner and this can't be a guessing game. You need a partner who also understands that each new partner is a new learning experience. What worked for 2 or 10 past lovers may not work for the current one. This is one situation that forces 2 individuals back to the starting point. You start over with each new person, finding what works for them. This is an area where no ones special needs are right or wrong, just what works for them and must be accepted as such, no comparisons to others. Its fruitless....like comparing apples to oranges and whats better. YEs...pun intended.

You said you're afraid you don't measure up to 'them', the word you used, instead of him. So this issue isn't about worry with the new partner but one you've had with both the past ones as well. YOu are so concerned about the rules and how to's that you aren't allowing yourself to relax and enjoy and learn along the way. It is not a statement of admitting one is lacking experience or just stupid to ask ones partner, "Could you explain as we go if anything I do doesnt feel good to you in this blowjob." He should then tell you if there's anything that doesnt feel good the moment you do it. But he also must give hints as to what he'd like you to try instead. If a strong sucking motion was loved by ex partner but is painful to the new one, it does not reflect on your ability to do something well. Many people take it personally as lacking skill and the last partner never leveled with them. Your partner has as much to learn about you as he did with ex partners in the arena of sex. YOu are not going to be exactly the same as the past female. Its takes a person being confident enough in themselvbes to be willing to be instructed and open to learning something new. You don't come into a relationship knowing magically whats going to work on the other. Some things, a couple discoveres by accident after they've been together a long time. For example, one day I starting humming cus I liked the feeling as I gave oral sex. My husband commented to me that he especially liked that, the vibrations caused by my humming felt erotic to him. It might not have for past lovers, I don't know. But I mentally added that 'technique' to the repertoire of what workds so I always have a little something different I can do at times so it doesnt become a routine thing that is finally no longer special because its too predictable.
So as Adviceman said, you need to be communicating your needs to him and he needs to be doing the same. Not telling him something is as harmful to a sexual relationship as telling a perosn in the wrong way.

Heres an example of what I mean. No one likes being told that something they are doing is quite up to par. THeres personal pride involved in life in genergal but its even more crucial when talking about the sexual areana. If I said to my husband. "Stop fingering me like that, you're doing it wrong, Do this instead...." I have just possibly killed his libido and desire for the time being. Imagine him too saying something like what you are doing feels good one everning and the next he is saying to stop, you're hurting me or it doesnt feel good. You'd be confused. You might feel inadequate too. It worked before, how come not now and heres where communicating without placing blame is very important. You don't accuse a partner of doing something wrong, just explain what you felt. And its good to have a 'safe' word or sound you make and all activity stops in case it doesnt feel good. We both just speak the word "Ow". Its been a great help when a certain intense action in wild sex feels good one moment but a split second later, your body is recognizing that same action as pain not pleasure. I can't exmplain why mechanics wise, but perhaps anything past a certain intensity can natuallly switch from pleasure to pain...Think of it like sunshine, you can enjoy a day out in it, but there comes a point in time where all of a sudden your skin is itching or hurting and you discovered you've gotten to much. Now you have sunburn.
The only way your current partner is going to become a better lover for you is with you communicating your needs and it might help if both are on the same page as far as having a good education sense of the anatomy differences of amles and females as far as their functions and functionalitys. There are still many myths regarding sex and the abilities of both sexes.
For example, if a male didn't experience women who can gush, not just get wet, he may erroneously believe that the current lady just peed on him. Depending on whether he enjoys the idea or is disgusted with it, there begin problems. Some women are born with a connecting tube that allows them to ejaculate externally like men. Women who don't have this, which doesnt develope in utero, will still have the orgasm and ejaculate but that fluid instead of leaving body immediately cycles into the bladder and is emptied out later with the urine. So I always was careful to let a new lover know ahead of time that I tend to gush, depending on how my body feels at the time. I remember a guy who said ddhe understand that but when I gushed he looked worried and says, "Did I break something? Did I hurt you?" I laughed so hard it took me a while to explain that this is what I had communicated to him. His perception though was thinking I meant that I get really wet with the fluid that lubricates me before sex. One can try to ex plain and be misunderstood still. So communication is importnat.
He needs to know that even though he's willing and you like fingering, its not working best for you yet and you're willing to keep trying if he is doing slight differences to see what works. My ex could never do it with me but everyone else, even if they couldn't do it well with me at first, evertually as they learned my body, learned what worked on me. ANd sometimes you cant explain it ahead of time, only mention it as its happening. Oh, I really liked that dear, you can do that more often. Or if something isn't working, instead of I don't like that, "Hey, lets try something different. Try going a little slower with split second breaks your fingers are not in contact with my skin cus every time you stopped to rest a bit and restarted, what I felt was stronger then than if it was continuous with no brief stops to reset the tension level. He wasn't doing it wrong as there is no right and wrong ways, just many ways to do it. It just wasnt right for me. so making suggestions lets try this and if he's reluctrant, then you need to expalin why.
Tell him thankyou for offering oral but you need to get to a place in your mind where you are comfortable enough with him to do something like that. Perhaps you'll never like it with him but You loved it with exs. By the way, girls in movies and also in porn are far from reality. If a guy expects what he sees in romance movies or worse yet, porn movies, then he's on the wrong path. Some of those things one sees in porn are only insinuated at, the camera stopped or splicing done to make it appear that they've gone straight from anal sex back to vaginal sex or her going down on him without any cleaning being done inbetween. Its not possible, its foolish even to beleive that is normal. Women would have raging infections all the time with that practice but watching a scene of interrupted sex for the male to go to the bathroon, pee and then wash his privates thoroughly is not going to be an exciting a ttention grabbing part of a movie so its not done. This is how sexual misconceptions can start. Good communicatiing and lots of study of the area of sex and anything r elated, periods, birth control, etc...all become as important for him to understand as for you.

BTW, my ex husband didn't like going down on me either. I didn't get to experience that until I left him. So I was nervous also the first time but since he seemed to like doing that sort of thing, I didn't mention my past experience and decided to at least enjoy the sensations. It utrns out, it was my first orgasm given by a man. Never had them with my ex as we were never suited for each other passion wise or chemistry wise. ONe can do all the right things but one person doesnt arouse passion in you like another did/does. This is always a possiblity.

Since you mentioned lube and not getting as wet with this guy,,, it may not be a physical thing but more mental or vice versa. If I haven't had enough liquids during the day, it seems to often have impact on whether I get wet or not. My body may crave it but my mind is on worries of the day, so it won't always be quite the same each time. I look for what in general the sex is like with its better days than others.

I feel that since you are so concerned about not being found lacking in some way sexually and wanting so hard to please the guy that you've left yourself out of the equation??? I may be wrong but it sounds like you are more concerned with pleasing him and your past partners, than with seeing this as a two way street. Sure there are evenings or days, where we've decided, today is all about you dear and pleasing you, like one being the others sex slave. But its never about me having to always please him first before considering whether I might get anything out of it. I think if both partners are of a mind to wish to please their partner first and have them fully satisfied, then if both are making love that way to each other at the same time, both partners needs are getting met, without having to ask for it beucase each ones putting in their efforts to show their love in this one most special way they can. When we love someone, we don't want to see them hurt, or neglected, we want them to be happy. Often this is applied in other areas of life but forgotten or ignored in sex.
You also mention being petite and him a bit bigger than the others and feeling like all you need is to be prepared better.
Prepared or put into the mood for sex isn't going to be the total answer. Most guis are an average size of 5 to 7 inches in length. A few are less and a few are more. All women when not in an aroused state have a vagina on the average only about 2 to 4 inches long. So how does the bigger penis ever fit in? Its in the foreplay but not just any old foreplay, forepaly where he is working on you to give you a couple of orgasms before even entering you. SO that means its either clitoral or him fingering and getting the g-spot right. YOu may want to write me again if you want some specifics on what the g spot is, where its found and the vast amount of different things that work/dont work on it, and what things you can expect to feel. I don't mind sharing details as another female who also loved fingering. Lubricant is crucial and has nothing to do with a female not having ability to get wet. Some peoples personal bodys lubricant is just not lubricating enough or wears off fast, or the thicker lube fluid of earlier is washed away by a females more watery ejaculae leaving her too dry and needing to use lube again.

Try not to compare as its not fair.. What aroused you with one guy may not with the next. Looking back, I have favorites for certain things, each guy stood out in one area. one I liked the kissing with better, one whose tongue did the best job ever on oral sex, perhaps it was longer, stronger, the texture of the tongue different. Tho its good with the others, one still beats it out over the top better and not due to technique either. I've heard for example that men with a little curve to the penis upwoards have a better chance of hitting the A spot just at end of vagina at the top right before the cervix and its due to the shape. It doesnt mean it doesnt happen with other guys, just from my experience its happened easier or more often with the one shaped that way

Lastly, you take it all upon yourself again saying how you have to figure out how to make it better. Other than masturbating, sex isn't a solo sport once you have a sex parnter. Its not all about you figuring a way to please him and make things work. Its something you both need to do together. I once had a short term boyfriend who was too long for me to not cause pain in most positions. Because the penis was longer than the aroused length of the vagina, instead of ending just at the cervix, his thrusts took him to one side or the other of the cervix, it being solid ebough like a nose to glance blows off it to one side or the other. The problem with that is when the penis, at least in me, hit those pockets towards the sides, it hit nerves that created not only a great local pain but charely horse type cramping down the leg of whatever side he was ending up at.
This is definately something to discuss. tHERE

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A lot of things have happened over the past year. I've had a lot of up's and down's. My ex boyfriend of three years cheated on me, hence ex-boyfriend. Its funny how things happen. I never thought that I would get cheated on. I guess I fell off my high horse. It hurts to know that the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with would betray you in such a manner. In results to the infidelity, I decided to move on. I gave it my all! I did everything in my power to save my relationship but I couldn't do it alone. I've always had insecurity problems and this situation made me feel worse about myself. I released my anger in the wrong way. In order to move on, I decided to get with another person. I've always found this person attractive. I felt honored to have his attention. I felt like it wasn't the time for me to move on but I needed to, for myself, in order to distract myself from the pain I was feeling inside. I felt like there was a better person out there that wanted me. It was another chance. I never really let go of my feelings for my ex. He was my first love. Now i've run into a dilemma. My ex has promised that he would change. Even though he has lied to me countless of times about other situations and etc; I feel like I can trust and believe his words. But I feel like I can never look at him the same. Every time that I see his face, all these negative thoughts arise. But he makes me feel loved. I see a real future with him because that's all I thought about in the past. Once you know what love is, its hard to let it go. Now that I'm single, I'm wishing to be in a relationship with him. I see so many couples happy and it reminds me of how it used to be. Yes we argued but what couple doesn't. With the current guy that i'm "talking" to, I find myself comparing what I used to have with my ex. And everything that he doesn't do, I question. I feel like, he's not doing what he's supposed to do. I know that everyone's different but it feels weird. I yearn for this love that I'm not receiving from him. It pushes me to want to go back to the past because I'm comfortable with that. I'm forcing myself to feel love and affection. I'm pushing the current guy to give me more than he's willing too. He tells me to be patient and i'm very understanding about his feelings but it puts me in a tough spot. I'm left with a man who is willing to fix everything he ever had with me and love me more than ever. Which comes with a risk of getting cheated on again, reoccurring arguments about the past and possibly having more trust issues. OR being with a guy who doesn't want a relationship at the moment, who wants everything to be his way, calls upon me when he feel its convenient for him and etc. I want to try something new but I don't want to let go of the past. I'm scared to move on because I don't know what the future will entail with this person. I'm scared of going to the past a losing a possible future with the person i'm talking to now. The guy said "be patient" but will this patience be worth the wait or will I be making a big mistake? What should I do? I am lost? I am sad? I am scared!
Who do I pick? What do I do?

You may feel you have two guys to pick between. You may know these 2 guys but I don't believe this is an issue of picking between either of them.

I actually think it's probably a good thing that #2, who is someone you went after to distract you from #1, is not head over heels crazy about you because if he was and found out that the only reason, or even if its the 'main' reason you got together with him was to forget the other, I don't think he'd like that. I certainly wouldn't like being someones second choice, or worse, not even a choice which implies that person cares about me alot but in reality, its another story.

No, #2 isn't someone you are in love with, so I don't believe you need to be choosing him. You need to release him to find real love with someone else because you aren't loving him for who he is, but comparing him to #1.

So what about #1? I have lived long enough and gone through having to make some major life decisions and changes to get to where I am today.
I can tell you why number# is not someone for you to be with ID you are ready to learn and grow and move on with your life. I am not mentioning love because women have more often than not, loved men who didn't love them in return, at least not in the way needed for a couple relationship. THere is love like loving a certain music or favorite food and then there is 'being in love.' What women want is a man who is in love with them. If you are willing to settle for less, then by all means go ahead and get back with #1. But there is a lesson to be learned there for you. Its the same kind I hear from women who ask, "Why is it that the only men i seem to find are losers? Why do I attract them?" Indeed, fate will make sure that we attract into our life, that which we need to learn a lesson from.

Lets use me as an example. I was married to an abusive guy, verbally tho. It took until 30 yr with him before I was confident in myself enough. However I was staying with a married daughter while saving up to get a place of my own. A guy I knew from before, just like you knew of your #2, suggested that we get an apt together so that I'd have a way to afford having a place and we'd just be friends with benefits. I needed a place so I went for it. Now comes testing time. Within 2 months it had gone south. I was divorced and dating other guys to find a possible long term partner at which point I'd no longer be with him. Yep, I was using him but we both admitted we were both using each other and were okay with it, so when thats the case, its okay. However I had no idea that he was so troubled, Narcissistic. He began to tell me who I could or shouldn't see. He tried controlling my life in every aspect and here I was in a vulnerable situation. I stayed with my ex as long as I had cus I feared I couldnt make it on my own financially. Now here I was, in an apt I couldn't afford without him. Would I go backward on the lesson I passed in leaving my ex cus he wasn't treating me in a loving manner and wasn't in love with me? Oh he said he loved me but his actions never backed up his words. Sames with #2. I was scared, the money I had saved up I spent elsewhere thinking I'd not need it so now I would either have to cater to his whims and allow him to continue to mistreat me, or say it was over. I was shaking but told him it was over. He moved out immediately. I tried but couldnt find a roommate in 2 weeks for next month, so I had to let the place go and a friend took me in, no cost, just to let me start saving up my earnings. While looking for what I could afford,, I had the money I needed to get my own place, I met the guy who would become my 2nd husband. I had passed my test a 2nd time, to love myself enough to not settle for less or subject myself by choice to a relationship with little hope or bright spots. I may sound cold here but I have to admit that I did indeed have deep feelings for each of the two men. However, when that love isnt returned and deposited into your hearts savings account, eventually that acount will be empty with nothing to withdraw. By their actions towards me, each of the two had in their own way, whittled away the love I once felt. Its not so for every woman. Sometimes she battles more with memories buried in her subconscious, the feelings of love from before it had run dry, comparedd to how it really is now. Perhaps you are facing a test with #1.

And perhaps you're so wanting to go back to him because you are willing to settle for less or perhaps its more about memories of love rather than current love.

Humans often love whats not necessarily good for them, take junk food for example, and yet we still eat it. Why, something about it is intoxicating or addicting enough to want us coming back for more. And we will indeed health problems arise related to it. Sometimes, that is when a few wake up and realize they've been on the wrong path and totally change their diet.

Its the same in relationships. We can be on the wrong path and not know it until cettain issues have arisen. You have plenty of issues that have come up, cheating, booken trust, ect. to realize that something needs to change. But change is scary. Realize that no knight in shining armor is going to come riding in and snatch you away from this trouble. You have to become strong and change occur within yourself to be ready to walk away from a bad situation.

Heres a quote I like: Happily ever after doesn't happen just because you wish it so.
It only happens with both parties put in maximum effort to make it so.

Your #1, needs to be really into thie relationship 100%, giving to it, building it up, being supportive and loving and not looking for dallying with other women.
You state he has promised he will change. Will change is not the same as having already channge and you already know how hard it is and scary too for people to change. Just because a person says the words, doesn't mean it is true. You are believing he has the personal strength to do better. What if all the strength he has is to speak the words he thinks you want to hear, but unable to back those words up in action.
So tell him, you change first cus if you do, I will notice it,, and when that happens, you wont have to beg me to come back, I will want to. But until then, I am not coming back.
Or instead of giving him his umpteenth chance to do better, you let him go now.

This would mean not going with either guy.

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Today was the penultimate day of the school year My friend came up with an idea to pull an awesome prank as a way to end with a bang. The idea was to vandalise the school. I disagreed with him about it but he wanted me to come with him to homework club where he had planned the vandalism. I was trying to do my homework while he was doing the vandalism. He typed the f word on all the computers, and drew a squiggle on the whiteboard and he also write f the school on the blackboard. There was no teacher in the room at the time so i thought he might get away with it. I finished my homework at the same time he finished his vandalism. But just as we were walking out, a teacher walked in and saw the vandalism and me and my friend. She told us to get out of the room, (i dont know if its because of the vandalism or because she had to be somewhere) but i have this teacher 1st period tommorow so im worried if i'll get in trouble or if my friend'll get in trouble. Im scared. What would your advice be?

If I were in a situation where blame might unrightly be laid upon me, I usually try some investigative asking around or I take to role of giving the person who might think wrongly of me, something else to think about.
I still do this to this day. I work in fast food and was asked to check the restrooms mid day for supplies like paper towels and toilet paper. It took only a minute or two to check, and I was out the door, entering the kitchen where I washed my hands there as thats where we have sanitizer, its not in the restroom. A woman entering seconds before I walked out, came up to order in a few minutes, looked at my boss and pointing to me said, your employee did not wash her hands and sanitize, so you need to work on that with her. The manager was next to me when I washed my hands even though I touched nothing other than door handles concerning restroom, I know it is policy.
He just nodded and said nothing to disagree with her. I took that to mean that I might be in trouble cus maybe he was facing away from me when I washed my hands. So I said, "Did you notice how she got upset that you said it was an extra charge if she wanted *** in her order? And I hope you noticed how she decided to let out her anger by picking on someone other than you the manager. I hope you noticed that I washed my hands at that sink, (I pointed) He says, " its okay Hun, I saw you and yes, she's just one of those unhappy, trouble making people in the world."

He wasn't considering me to be in trouble regarding policies but I didn't know and having peace of mind is so important to me. Right now you need peace of mind.
I am sure also that since this is your friend, you don't want to officially squeal on him and get him in trouble. He was already in trouble from the moment he came up with that idea so its just a matter of justice, not getting caught only but being held responsible for any rules he may have broken. While it all sounds foolish and immature and not at all that great a prank as it would leave no lasting damage, you can't reason away having your good name smeared and get labeled a trouble maker.

So here's what might work. Try to say a quick word with the teacher before or after class, when he's not around to see, or hear. I would probably say, "I'm sure you were shocked to find the classroom in that state yesterday. All I am willing to say is to keep in mind that just because the two of us were in that room, it doesnt mean that both of us were involved. I won't say who did it, but I will say that I used the homework club only to finish my homework."

From that, she will have to assume that since you were willing to say that much, you likely have nothing to hide because you weren't involvede, and that if it wasn't him, then perhaps a third party who entered the room for a short while and did all of that.

My own personal advice for future, if this is a first for him and he doesn't usually do stuff like this, then keep him as a friend. However if he is prone to doing stuff like this all the time, then just be association with him as friend, you may get labeled a trouble maker and have to suffer the consequences of punishment. It may be better to drop him as a friend if talking to him about how its affecting you brings no result for the better. Basically, you can then do better finding new friends who are truly friends. Friends are not people who try to get you into trouble.

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So I'm a Wiccan or I sometimes use Pagan as a more broader term. I am polytheistic and I want some opinions of fellow believers. So what does it mean when you feel connected to a certain diety that gos beyond the others you worship? I worship the God, The Goddess, Gaea (and the Greek pantheon), Aradia, a few Roman and a few Egyptian, along with Cerridwen. And I worship nature. There are some dieties that I feel closer to in someway. Like I can kind of feel their presence around me and if I see an image or hear a mention of the diety in question, I feel him/her aura? I am not sure how to word it really. But what's your opinion, pagans?

You explained ypurself perfectly but as to whether a label or description can be attached to explain what this one thing means, I've never tried to come up with an answer as I don't believe ones beliefs spiritually can be taken apart and parts given special meanings. Its using something like a recipe
for stew. Besides the flavorings, there are the main ingrediants that go into making it. Whether you call it a stew, a recipe handed down in the family, a one pot meal, a heary meal, or just call it dinner or sustenance, if you contemplate the carrots or potato in the stew and want to find or discover a special meaning to them, you can't. Potato is versatile and found in many very different recipes, all that serve the function of nourishing our physical bodies.

I believe each persons spiritual nature can be views the same way. Like potato, it may be an important ingrediant in stew and other meals, just as one aspect of our spritual growth is for us. We have favorite recipes and foods that don't agree with us well. Same in spiritual paths, etc....I hope you get the idea.

So rather than 'what does it mean', it may be easier to ask and have answered 'it is common and does it happen to others.'

I will use myself as example. I started out in church. Even there, I found I felt closer to the Holy Spirit than the Father or Jesus. It didnt mean that I didn't worship them (love and want to please) Eventually, due to what I still insist was the leading of the Holy Spirit or what I now term half the time as the Goddess, my eyes were opened to see that I was limited within the constructs of faith within the church. My spirituality had brought me to the very limits, and there was nothing else I could learn there or new ways to grow further and closer to my Creator. Scary as it was, and not even being my idea in the first place, I began to check out what I was prompted to spiritually. During this time, my own 2nd husband introduced me to a book called 'Urantia'. Supposedly that is the name heavenly beings have for planet Earth. The book chronicles the history of heaven, the different level of beings, and many 'Gods' of lesser levels than the top pair of God and Goddess or call it Lord and Lady, or Jesus and his partner the Holy Spirit. The book does go on with evolution, and totally different stories to the Adam and Eve saga and the live of Jesus and his purpose in coming. Its wasnt to die on a cross for our sins as the church taught. But what I want to share is that no matter if anyone says its not possible to have so many different Gods and Goddesses, they do exist and have their specific area of rulership and taking care of things. So whether a nature spirit, or the one God assigned to watch over this one planet in our solar system out of all the systems in the universe, there will be many many levels and areas to cover with God and Goddess as Architect and Creator respectively. Since all human beings are very different and unique, I find it not at all strange for any of us to feel a particular affintiy to one or several deities where another person might not.
It may be the same way you look at how you choose a friend or mate, you'll go with someone you feel a closeness to.
So feelings the presence of, or perhaps just the aura or energy signature of a particular one, is not at all strange. Couples who bond well, can read each others thoughts at times, finish each others sentences, and the moment something is mentioned, it conjures up an image in mind of ones partner, or if apart, and one is thinking of the other, the other has a burning desire at the same time to call, text or connect in some way.
No, its not strange at all. The only thing is, it is very hard to find others who may be at the exact same place as you spiritually so you can make comparisons if that is what you wish to do.
When I sought my 2nd husband thru dating site, one of the things that was a biggie for me, was someone spiritually open minded at the least,, not religious but call themselves spiritual and that happens to be a big important part of their life. Although he and I are close in beliefs, we are still vastly different, since we are climbing the same mountain on two different footpaths, just that they happen to be next to each other so we can both enjoy together and grow and support each other together is wonderful. I can now say I am a firm believer that all paths lead to our Creator and He/She both have as many different names as there are religions or spiritual beliefs. I just happened to start at the top with the two who started it all and created all the lesser Gods, Goddesses and spirits below them. All souls are not in the same 'grade level' so to speak, in our giant classroom called Earth, and so
that is why we see lots of people who are just starting out, and don't know much better or seem to be heading the opposite direction from God/Goddess, but even the least spiritual people will at some point come full circle to embracing their spirituality and their Creator, if not those at the top but starting with any of the other deities. Ever wonder why we find answers to prayers or well intentions when focusing on some deity from lets say another culture, not praying to the top two? Its because they come from the same source as our souls, and we all have the same abilities being made spiritually in the image of our creator. While you may not beleive exactly as I do, as long as we are striving to be spiritual which is an area of discovery only each self can do, then I beleive all is well. There are no cookie cutter religions that fit all people, the path you are on is the one best suited for you to grow and learn spiritually to the optimum. That is why I feel I can also fit the broader description of pagan. Afterall, the definition to the word 'Pagan' which was created by the early Christians establishing churches across the countries, was that pagan simply meant, anyone who was not attending their church or someone elses church...so it literally meant the 'un-churched.' To me, church is okay, its a starting place for many as it was for me, but its like the nursury or grade school. At some point you want to progress onward or just remain in the infant state of your spirituality, spoon fed what you should believe.
Hope this all encourages you. If you want to check out the Urantia book, it can be found online at:
http://www.urantia.org/urantia-book/read-urantia-book-online

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Hi, I'm 14 and I'm female. So basically I had a group of 4 friends and we all planed to go to a concert together. It was my friend's birthday and because she couldn't afford a ticket for herself I paid for hers as her present (£33). It was hard to save up the money to pay for hers and my ticket considering I'm young and don't have a job. Nevertheless I managed to do it. This was in April, and the concert is scheduled for November. All 4 of us were going to go up together (with my other friend's dad). I ordered everyone's tickets as it was easier to order them all together, and they should arrive about October time. Since then they all decided they didn't want my friendship anymore (they did this all at once by sending me long messages about how I'm a basically a shit person and they didn't want me in their life, they did this when they knew I was off school for depression and feeling badly suicidal). I think I've been a good friend to them for the most part, but there's no point getting into that now.
What I need advice on is do I give my now ex-friend the ticket I was going to give her as a birthday present? Obviously I'm going to give my other friends their tickets as they paid for them, but I've paid for this friends ticket. And although this is her favourite band she has seen them in concert before recently. Now if I keep her ticket it will be given to my mum as she now has to take a night off work to take me to the venue (which is about a 2 hour drive) and I don't think it's fair to make her wait outside and because of my anxiety I'm not sure if I could handle going in alone. Considering my friend abandoned me when I needed her most, I just don't think it's fair to give her the ticket- because when I bought it with the intention of giving it to her she was a very close friend, and she's not anymore. I don't want to give it to her, but I'm not sure whether it's fair for me not to? Should I give her the ticket and if not when should I tell her? All advice is appreciated- thanks.

If she is one of those who wrote you a long letter as to why she would no longer be your friend, then its quite ridiculous to pay your good money to give a goft to someone who doesnt even like you, regardless of the circumstance in the beginning with having to plan the purchases earlier.

If she wrote you, you write back and inform her that the ticket she couldnt afford, which you paid for all your own, is now no longer going to her for the concert. If she wants to go, she'll have to find another way. Do this right away, as it gives her more time to come up with another plan in case she really wants to go and just take Mom instead.

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I'm already wearing absolutely no makeup, and just washing my face with very good facial cleanser and using amazing toner and moisturizer.

This makes me really happy.

And I'm doing more things outdoors which make me really happy such as reading, meditating/praying and yoga.

I was wondering if there's anything I can do to be more natural?

Also, if you have any links to REALLY good VEGAN recipes, I'd TRULY appreciate it! :)

Yeah there are other things that could be considered natural health moves but sometimes it depends on what you've heard warnings wise and what you believe as to whether you'll take steps to change your lifestyle in that area.

One thing is the argument against flouride in water and toothpaste. There have been enough tests and data by non government grous that have labeled flouride as bad for our bodies and the story that it helps our teeth and a long standing sham taught to all dentists. What some people will do is search for a place locally for a natural spring where they can get ground water. There is such a place in my area and the water is tested by county all the time. Another would be to stop using toothpaste or buy health food store brands without flouride.

Anouther controversy is based on the principle that whatever comes into contact with our skin is absorbed into our bodies. This concerns clothing detergent. Ever wonder why liquid detergent is so highly scented that you can smell the perfume of all of them as you walk down the soap aisle in the store?
In modern society, our factories produces lots of waste material at the end and they need a place for it to go, whether into containers in the ground that might leak, or otherwise. This one type of waste product was supposedly added to laundry detergent. A lot of residue remains on clothes as well as a high perfumed state they're in. Tests showed some major illnesses that could come about due to this poison waste in laundry detergents. There are alternative healthy detergents to be found in health food stores.

What we put on our skin is important so if you decide to change what you currently use, there is a line in health food places called Kiss my Face and thats only all natural non harmful ingrediant.

And lastly, I am gaining lots of new healthy recipes all the time just on my face b ook feed.

Look up FB page "Just Eat real Food". and ask to have it be always at top of page so you have a chance to see it. I will list the article they posted this morning.

http://www.healthy-holistic-living.com/13-quinoa-bowls-that-make-it-easy-and-delicious-to-eat-clean.html?t=JERF

Thats an example of the types of food articles and recipes they post here.

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I've been talking to this guy for months now and we aren't official yet. He needs more time to make me his girlfriend. I don't know why but all I can do is wait. We've had sex more than five times and i've always been clean and fresh down there. I barely get to see him so its understood without saying that when we see each other we will become intimate. This time I wasn't so sure. It was my last day on my period. As most women know, your last day is very iffy. You can have possible spotting or discharge. At the time I was wearing a panty liner just in case that I began to spot. I didn't see spotting the whole day and I even used the bathroom and all the signs showed me that I was clear to have sex. We begin to get intimate and I start to notice a smell. I stop him and I tell him that I think i'm still on my period. I am horrified at this point because their is blood on his private area (not a lot) and the smell is not pleasant. I was embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted. I didn't know what to do next! I ran to the bathroom and asked him if I could rinse off. After we got cleaned up, he came in and gave me a hug and kiss. I felt so bad and then it became awkward. We had a talk about it and he told me that he's glad that I stopped it before we continued and that its a natural thing that is apart of life. He seemed very understanding and not mad but I feel like maybe he was playing Mr. Nice guy because he didn't kick me out and he didn't say anything rude. He said it was a little weird but he was over the situation. My question is was I supposed to tell him before hand about the last day of my period? Should I have not went over there at all because it was the last day of my period? What does he think of me now? Is he still interested? Should I be embarrassed? What should I do next?

In my life, I've found more men okay with sex on period than not. As you said, its a natural thing and guys seem to understand and not mind. In fact, there are those who dont mind but rather look forward to it. They see it as a womens sign of her ability to create life and as such consider her a Goddess.

Could you have warned him ahead of time. Maybe but you werent sure so thats hard to do. Periods can be delayed due to stress and what not. Sometimes, you won't have a hint that a period is about to start, no spotting, even running late and you go to have sex and the period starts. This will happen more than knowing you already have it to tell him. My theory is that having sex helps the period to start. Everytime I was tired of being bloated and period late, I'd plan to have sex and it sure enough started, 9 times out of 10. Lots of men enjoy sex during period for the pheremone reason, both horny and in the mood, but the biggest comment I've gotten is how nice it works as a lubrication.

Your guy likely came to hu g and kiss you as a way to let you know he understands, didn't mind and wasn't grossed out. While he may not be the kind who craves sex when you're on your period, he also doesnt mind situations like this which will arise at times.

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Especially teenagers. People claim that teenagers have fast metabolisms, but I was pushing obesity for all of my teen years, despite eating healthier than everyone on my high school varsity sports team. I'd have junk occasionally, but my peers would have junk all the time and still be skinny like reeds. It made me have terrible self confidence as a teen, my goodness.

I'm now in my early 20s and now weigh less than I did for most of middle school, through adopting a vegan diet. The crazy thing is that I now rarely exercise, too, so the whole conventional idea to exercise off weight tricked me all along. I want to pick up exercising now for my health, not as a way to get skinnier, as I was able to lose 40 pounds through veganism and literally just walking on a treadmill once or twice times a week.

I just don't get why people assume everyone has fast metabolisms as teens and if that's the real reason why those girls (not just white. also indian (the skinniest indian girl i knew ate the most junk food. i sat with her at lunch), african-american, latina, etc.) are so skinny as teens.

Answers, anyone? I've tried googling this and can't find a clear answer. What makes someone even have a faster metabolism than another? "Genes" isn't enough of an answer. I want a deeper answer.

To bring up a famous example look at Kendall Jenner. She's much skinnier than Kylie, who is also tall, despite both of them likely eating similar foods. Even before becoming a model Kendall was reed thin. I went through her insta today and her earliest posts show the most unhealthy food next to shots of her flat stomach.

For me to have a normal BMI I literally don't eat any oil, added sugar, or salt. I cook most of my meals, buy mostly organic, and generally eat high carb and low fat. so to see some other skinny person eat cheetos and pizza like it's no big deal rubs me the wrong way, because that would blow my body up. if i eat pizza at a restaurant (unless its raw vegan) i'll just bloat up from the salt feel gassy from the fat content. i know my health will be better, from more fruits an veggies, but still..

In what limited reading I have done on natural health, I have concluded a few things, high metabolism is but one aspect of why someone does not have lots of weight. Others are the amount and type of exercise needed for ones body type, and what we ingest. However, exercise and high metabolism won't guarantee that the cheetos eating crowd who take in fats, sugars and salts etc have a higher risk for some kind of disease like heart disease. The reason for your losing weight is due to your healthier diet. Vegan and whole foods, organic, non GMO, and use of any super food items will take off weighkt. Why? Because the American diet, of whats offered in stores, and fast food and restaurants is empty calories and basically not very healthy at all, even if a person is eating lots of fruits and veggies and protein instead of junk food. There are scientific reports plus the many personal reports and the living proof, that Americans who stop or limit junk food to very seldom, and eat organic and non GMO at the very least, are going to lose weight.

I would suggest you do something I have done. I looked up the words Non GMO on Facebook and liked the pages of any that post daily and some have to do with eating healthy recipes. Like a pizza crust made from cauliflower. I am still homeless and can't try them yet but what I can do right now, I am doing. Put any of these pages to show first in your feed on FB so you don't miss any.

To learn more about how do to our genetics, certain foods are better or worse for different people or how amount of exercise and other things are different for maximum health according to east Indian originating health views, look up anything or Ayervedic medicine. My intro was seeing an article in a womens health magazine.

Lastly, since you mention you don't eat any oil, there is one, that is considered a super food. Both hubby and I have lost weight without any change to our diet just by adding this to diet. I will list a link to an article.

http://wisemindhealthybody.com/five40/coconut-oil-weight-gain/
t

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Okay so i have been seeing this no.for last few weeks..my phone charge 69%, the time i see on watch is 6:09, my bills come 569/-, everytime i look at any no.its inevitably 69. I don't know what does it signify.. In my religion it says nothing about this no. (Though i am not a specialist of Hindu mythology)..In addition to it I can sense future. Or let me put it like this, whenever i anticiate something it comes true. I can sense what the other person is thinking. And the peculiar thing about me is I don't get scared, not by humans,animals or any paranormal energy(if such thing exists)...and i can feel god is interacting with me. What is happening with me? Am i going crazy or what? I believe in god but not in any demonic power. People come to me mentally disturebed get healed talking to me. Is the universe talking to me?

My did follows numbers recurring by looking up meanings in a book. I hadnt felt it important until about a month ago when I felt God telling me to start taking notice. So I searched a long time on line and found ouly the following site about Angel Numbers as it is called. Wether the messages behind numbers are coming from angels, spirit guides or straight from the creator, whaterver name we call Him/Her, I feel there must be something to it, same as any messages that come from tarot cards or even pendulums, etc.

Heres the like to the site followed by the one directly to interpretation of number 69.

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/p/index-numbers.html

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2011/07/angel-number-69.html

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If you have ever read any of my old questions about someone calling me constantly last year! This is another question I don't remember if it's about the same person from the last or not. Anyways I have this friend who calls me all day every day to talk about the same damn thing . Every time she calls its to talk about her boyfriend or relate everything to her boyfriend so now I avoid her calls because I know what the outcome of the call will be. When she wasn't dating this boyfriend she was calling to talk about how she likes this guy who is now her boyfriend. Before that she used to call me about her ex-boyfriend (who was her boyfriend at the time, she broke up with him in March and started talking about a new boy that same month and started dating her current bf in June) then sometimes she would call to talk behind one of my friends backs and how she flirts with her current boyfriend. I am getting sick of it! I'm tired of talking on the phone with someone who only talks about only one freaking topic and every time I try to change it she relates it back to him. I like texting better cause you can ignore the text and reply when you feel like it but with her if you text her it's an invitation to call me, I'll be out with my family she will call, I'm out with friends she calls, I was at work and she called, I was at the doctors and she called, I went on a school trip in May and she called (my friends on the trip were like "does she usually call you this often?). I was at a job interview and luckily she didn't call during it but she called as I was leaving it, I'm writing this because she just called me 5 mins ago and I'm getting tired of it trust me she will call again in an hour, so basically how can I get her to stop calling me so much? My other friends say she calls them too but not as much as me

She may have a deep buried need. It may be that she simply doesnt have a life and for some reason wants you to be toe one to witness everything going on in her life

You can try talking to her but my guess is it will go in one ear and out the other and not change her behavior. Whether it's just a bad mental thought process, not knowing any better, or some mental illness, you are not equipped to help her.
She may not be ready to admit she has a problem but if no one tells her its a problem and she does this often with others, just more with you, it will be easier for her to stay in denial or not knowing there is a problem until enough people say the same thing. If coming from just one, that person could be in a bad mood that day or any other thing she may think to explain away.

All you can do is tell her that you dont mind if she contacts you every once in awhile but the amount of calls she is making to you are excessive, much more than a person would normally call a friend. Let her known that it has nothing to do with you just being too picky, her calls have come at work and right at the end of a job interview, and this means it can serious affect your life and your keeping a job. You feel that her amount of calls are becoming disruptive to your life and since you are a friend, you wanted her to know that. You could admit her that's why due to the volume of calls that come from her and dont allow you to have a life of your own that its forced you to choose to ignore her calls. And you don't want to have to do that. You want it to be a normal friendship. So either she stop doing what she is doing and figure it out on her own, or go see a counselor for help losing a bad habit but something has to change.

If it doesnt get better, you might have to change your cell number and let others know to not give it to her.

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This weekend I have a soccer tornament on the beach. My teammates and their families will be there. On Monday I started my period. I didn't tell my mom because normally I don't and I thought it may end by the weekend. It hasn't and we will be swimming and going on water rides. How do I ask my mom what to do ? I know I can't go in with out a tampon but I don't think she's knows I know that. I need to tell her soon but I don't know how to.

Your Mom was once your age and had access to tampons at her age. this is natural stuff that even if Mom doesn't like discussing private matters, you are her child and need tampons. SHe needs to know that you are on your period and want to be able to enjoy the beach time without any worries so you will need tampons. That gives her a chance to go get some for you. Don't wait til last minute to tell her like late friday night when stores are closed or as you're all packing to leave for the beach.Then it becomes an inconvenient stop possibly for her and if anything, Mom could feel irritated at the inconvenience of your timing.
Let her know you waited hoping it would be over by now but its not so you will need tampons. I would say its best to wear them for things other than swimming though, playing sports or during heaviest flow day when many females wear both a tampon and pad.

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So my friend's ex-boyfriend and I talk sometimes a little bit. My friend and him remained to be best friends. When we talk, it's never casual. We don't text each other just to talk. It's either he has a question about something for me, or I have a question about something for him.

Anyway, my friend, me, and him are all in a group chat. And I posted a Facebook pic yesterday and he asked me if a question about it and blah blah but he didn't like the pic. So I told him to like it and he did and said "I liked it just for you." And my friend was like "Omg betrayed

Perhaps he likes you. I agree with the other advicegiver, it certainly sounds like he's flirting. And flirting is done by some people when they like someone and want to find out if you like them back. But...others flirt just for the fun of flirting and will flirt even tho they are not seriously thinking about a relationship with you. Usually these people can be witnessed flirting with different people all the time tho, not just focused on one. In this case, its part of their personality, not an actual true interest.

I do however have a flip side view to the situation of someones ex boyfriend showing an interest in or asking to date the bestfriend, or any friend of an ex. I know its awkward and there are lots of bad feelings when this happens. Some people have a hard time with feeling jealous, even if the person didn't work out for them.
Now here's the view of those with more life experience, less problem with jealousy, and more maturity in the area of relationships. (Not saying you or friend are immature, just that we all mature IF we learn more life experiences. ANd the experiences aren't always nice, pretty and all roses. Such as in your case, it's not a very pretty picture. But what makes the experience you have, turn from a bad one that your friend and you want to drop and run away from, is the willingness to learn and grow, learn a new and better way to look at it. Could there really be a better way? More positive? Yes!!

When we are young, we are still trying to figure out what we like in the opposite sex while trying to also gain our own self confidence at the same time. That is hard for any human to know or figure out. There are older people who never figured it out in an entire lifetime. But there are ways. Dating should be a discovery time to figure out if the persons who are attracted to each other visually, actually have things in common, but more important, do they have chemistry together, pheremones matching closely, and do they admire their gf/bf, and find it hard to not fall in love, not just like or love.
In the dating process, at first we will find ourselves dating the wrong person for us. Or perhaps lets say the guy/girl has some bad character flaws or habits that are very destructive to a relationship. Those reasons are why I left my ex. Its hard to see these things at first because everyone acts their best at first when dating and when finally they feel the other is hooked, they begin to relax and show their true character, whether it be good or bad. So at any point in a relationship, even years later, something very important to health of a relationship can go wrong. If the one causing it doesnt see they are the problem or are unwilling to go for counseling, there is nothing one can do but break up. With teens and college age, it may not be so complicated as using counseling for a long established relationship, they just simply break up and start dating someone else.

It doesnt mean that anything is wrong with your girlfriend if she and he didn't work out. Either one or both had issues with things about each other, things that would require the person changing who they are, good characteristics, not character flaws, in order to be right for their partner. Is it more often that two people who are wrong for each other are dating. But the deal is to learn and recognize they aren't right person and to not settle for less and keep looking. So if he and she didn't turn out, there is nothing wrong so to speak with him checking you out next to see if you and he might work out.

You can't change your friends view to understand what I just explained, that whether its a friend or some girl neither of you know, he can't remain single the rest of his life to avoid upsetting his first and only, or his last girlfriend. Its just silly. If we cater to all the jealous feelings of exs, none of us would ever find the right person to marry or remarry. I left my ex. If I had greater concern about what his ex wife thought, or he about what my ex husband thought, we might not be together.

If you choose to continue on with flirting and exploring a possible relationship with him, you may risk losing her friendship. You need to decide if you want to hold on to her friendship more at this point in your life rather than date any ex boyfriends of hers.
If you are teens and just in early stages of dating, I'd advise to not upset your best friend. Both of you will mature and change with time and this situation won't seem as important to her in later years. If you are somewhere in your 20's and you are starting to think about finding a guy to fall in love with and marry, then my advise would be different. As an adult, your friend needs to learn to grow past this part in her life of getting jealous when there's no need for it. Jealousy is a fear of losing something and she's already lost him. Can't count something as yours, especially something that can't be owned/or shouldn't be owned, like another person. With jealousy, a person is making unfair comparisons, feeling that someone else is better than yourself and will be successful at some point in stealing away ones guy for example. Its not about being Better, but about being Different, the differences that make two people more right for each other. Nothing may come of this guy anyways. But you do need to know this if the time comes when as an adult you are wishing to marry and someone is jealous of it being their ex or simply that the bf is taking time away from you being with her. Unless homosexual, the both of you are going to marry and have kids someday with someone of the opposite sex. The same can all be done with gays, but thats not my point. The point is one person who doesnt have anyone at the time is feeling not jealous but envy that their freind has something or a chance at something that they don't and that is called Envy. Wanting something the other has, or they assume the other has. But jealousy can be mixed in. I hope that wether now or in future situations when you are seriously seeking a mate, that this info will come in handy.

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Both answers had good points. I liked your response. I gave her a graduation party last weekend. My two nieces were here and they basically helped me clean up etc. the following day I brought the cards out and said we could go through them. She immediately got defensive and said....I don't want you hovering over me like you did nathan ( my step son) I didnt want you to see what I got. I felt my husband should have corrected her then send there. But he didn't. He said I was controlling. I threw the cards on the table and she snorted off more...she HAS an attitude. I walked away and went to a different room. My husband then talked to her about not being so secretive about the cards. She did come into the room where I was and said that I could see what she got. I didn't go back in there....what I wanted to do was to help her address the envelopes. That's all. She's been working on writing out thank yous, but now there aren't any addresses. She can look them up herself, or call people for their addresses like I had to for her invitations. I'm tired of my husband going to her defense, and I'm tired of her complaining about me. One counselor told me to not do anything for her unless she asks. That's my new mantra. When we were first married she was in first grade. I decided to get a school record book for each step kid. Every fall I'd go through it with them. Record their weight, height, add their school picture, etc. I saved everything with her name on it...including medical information and insurance statements. She was in a hospital for 5 weeks in 2014. I saved some of those.she saw them in the book and went crying to my husband how hurt she was. All I can think of is she's old enough to deal with her own problems. Suck it up buttercup. If it bothered her. Remove the things she didn't like and throw them out. But no she goes to dad. I told him,what's she going to do next year when she's away at colegge and someone offends her....he won't be there to rescue her. He's not doing her or our marriage any favors. He's divorced (3 times) this is my first marriage and we have no kids together.m

I agree with all of advice-mans suggestions. It would seem there really aren't any other choices. Realize that the s tep daughter isn't the only problem, her daddy is too.
You mentioned he was divorced 3 times already before meeting you. I can understand everyone having one divorce, meaning they learned what was wrong the first time and avoided that the next time around. If its taken 3 failed marriages to get to present time, I am very curious and wonder if you are too or even know what truly broke up the past marriages. In case it was issues between the daughter getting in between him and his wife, even the one who was her birth mom, then thats not a good track record. He's not willing to change anything he's doing that always ends in divorce. So if catering to the daughter and allowing her to disrupt his relationship with wife is that ingrained in him, there's little to no chance it will go better this time. I think if it was me in the situation, I would be doing some digging to find out what happened, or hire a private investigator who has ways of gaining access easily to all the paper records that could support what was going on. If I obtained proof that the divorces were totally or in part due to the daughter making him choose between her and wife, then most likely, I would divorce him also, right away. Why wait if I know nothing is going to be changed a handful of years down the line and it doesnt matter how old she gets and if not living at home. She and Dad have this kind of off kilter energy between them that will be there any time she comes over, for holidays, dads birthdya, whatever. If she continues to live there, its guaranteed to be a daily thing.
Lets say worst case acenerio, she dies in an accident. I am betting that since Daddy is the kind of person he is that even when gone, he will still speak more highly of her than you, and she'd still come between you, because he doesnt know how to have a normal healthy relationship with a woman and doesn't seem to care to. In his eyes, the daughter fills it all for him.

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about three days ago I had unsafe sex with my boyfriend and I Don't know what to do or which pill should I take in trigestrel between these three colours red, yellow and white

Hon, you were given instructions with your birth control as to which pills to take. If you take them correctly in the order you are supposed to, at the same time every day, then there is very little chance of becoming pregnant if no condom was used. The pill is used by many married women whose husbands don't use condoms because they both were tested and know they don't carry any STD's. The one use of condoms is as a contraceptive. The other use is for protection against STD's. If you are on the pill and taking it correctly, you're protected against pregnancy. If you take it in correctly, miss days (doubling up at other times) your risk of getting pregnant rises. If you only forgot condom but are taking pill, then the risk with neither of you have been tested for STDs, is a risk to contracting an
sexually transmitted disease. If you know thru papers from a clinic testing that he is disease free, then you have no worry at all, no disease, no baby.

There is a product called the morning after pill or also known as Plan B. Every pharmacy has it and it can be obtained without prescription. This is an emergency product only to use if you have not been taking/using any birth control, or if condoms used and they break of slip off or have leakage on the sides. The plan B is much the same as what you take in the daily pill except for tons greater in strenghth for just one pill so it can have lots of bad side effects for sure even if you didn't get any on the pill. There is a time limit to plan B's ability to still be effective so it must be taken within 5 days after. But by the 5th day, the chances that it will work are reduced and every hour and day that go by from time of sex to taking the pill, its effectiveness lessens. So if this is needed, which in your case doesnt sound like unless you've taken the trigesrel haphazardly, you shoulddn't need the Morning after/plan B pill. I will attach a link to this same info which explains another emergency contraceptive you can only get if its approachng your fifth day but its with Dr. prescription.

If you are forgetting to time your trigestral on time or suffer too many side effects, you may want to try another type of contraception. Theres the shot that lasts for a couple months so its a non fuss of the hormonal birthcontrols. If you don't want the hormonal ones, there is a good option in the copper IUD intrauterine device. i had this installed when I g ot married as we didn't want kids right away. Theres no remembering to take anything and its good for around 10 years and can be removed any time you are ready to try for a child. Its more expensive up front but that a one time cost which if calculated over the months and years, ends up way cheaper than any other contraceptive out there.

I hope this gives you enough information. I would advise you call the Dr office that prescribed your pill and let them know of the situation and ask them what you should do. They will know best. DO it now!

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