Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


Friend is constantly calling me?


Question Posted Thursday July 14 2016, 12:39 pm

If you have ever read any of my old questions about someone calling me constantly last year! This is another question I don't remember if it's about the same person from the last or not. Anyways I have this friend who calls me all day every day to talk about the same damn thing . Every time she calls its to talk about her boyfriend or relate everything to her boyfriend so now I avoid her calls because I know what the outcome of the call will be. When she wasn't dating this boyfriend she was calling to talk about how she likes this guy who is now her boyfriend. Before that she used to call me about her ex-boyfriend (who was her boyfriend at the time, she broke up with him in March and started talking about a new boy that same month and started dating her current bf in June) then sometimes she would call to talk behind one of my friends backs and how she flirts with her current boyfriend. I am getting sick of it! I'm tired of talking on the phone with someone who only talks about only one freaking topic and every time I try to change it she relates it back to him. I like texting better cause you can ignore the text and reply when you feel like it but with her if you text her it's an invitation to call me, I'll be out with my family she will call, I'm out with friends she calls, I was at work and she called, I was at the doctors and she called, I went on a school trip in May and she called (my friends on the trip were like "does she usually call you this often?). I was at a job interview and luckily she didn't call during it but she called as I was leaving it, I'm writing this because she just called me 5 mins ago and I'm getting tired of it trust me she will call again in an hour, so basically how can I get her to stop calling me so much? My other friends say she calls them too but not as much as me

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


Jasmine23 answered Wednesday July 20 2016, 10:52 pm:
First off, you should openly discuss with her how this is making you feel. explain to her that you love talking, but it can not be about one thing. And when she talks about her bf all the time. it's redundant. I would try to openly talk to her about how your feeling, and that you are finding this behavior to be not cool. maybe she needs a face to face confrontation.

[ Jasmine23's advice column | Ask Jasmine23 A Question
]




misspiggy answered Sunday July 17 2016, 9:57 am:
You have two options:The first option is that you can tell her not to call so much. This will work well if you are comfortable being direct with her. The second option is that you can set limits as to how much you will talk with her. Pick up every time she calls, but only let her talk for five minutes about her issues. At that point, switch to talking about yourself for five minutes and then tell her you have to go. If she tries to switch the conversation back to herself while you are talking about yourself, tell her that your own problems are really on your mind right now. If she still refuses to listen, hang up. Never let any one conversation with her last longer than fifteen minutes. As for moi, I would personally go with the setting limits option because it will change the tone of your friendship with her. She will eventually learn that you are willing to be her friend, but that you are too busy to listen to her go on and on all day.

You are too fabulous to be listening to someone else's problems all day. Remember, you are the star of the movie of your life!

Miss Piggy

[ misspiggy's advice column | Ask misspiggy A Question
]



Dragonflymagic answered Friday July 15 2016, 4:33 pm:
She may have a deep buried need. It may be that she simply doesnt have a life and for some reason wants you to be toe one to witness everything going on in her life

You can try talking to her but my guess is it will go in one ear and out the other and not change her behavior. Whether it's just a bad mental thought process, not knowing any better, or some mental illness, you are not equipped to help her.
She may not be ready to admit she has a problem but if no one tells her its a problem and she does this often with others, just more with you, it will be easier for her to stay in denial or not knowing there is a problem until enough people say the same thing. If coming from just one, that person could be in a bad mood that day or any other thing she may think to explain away.

All you can do is tell her that you dont mind if she contacts you every once in awhile but the amount of calls she is making to you are excessive, much more than a person would normally call a friend. Let her known that it has nothing to do with you just being too picky, her calls have come at work and right at the end of a job interview, and this means it can serious affect your life and your keeping a job. You feel that her amount of calls are becoming disruptive to your life and since you are a friend, you wanted her to know that. You could admit her that's why due to the volume of calls that come from her and dont allow you to have a life of your own that its forced you to choose to ignore her calls. And you don't want to have to do that. You want it to be a normal friendship. So either she stop doing what she is doing and figure it out on her own, or go see a counselor for help losing a bad habit but something has to change.

If it doesnt get better, you might have to change your cell number and let others know to not give it to her.

[ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: No friends and suicidal
Next Question >>> Going swimming on my period

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker