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No friends and suicidal
Okay so I'm 14 years old and I'm a female. Recently (as in the last couple of days recently) my two best friends said they don't want to be friends with me anymore. Reasons given by friend 1 is that I'm not as good a friend as friend 2 and I'm self-centred and I brush off problems (despite the numerous hours I've spent trying to help both of them with their problems). friend 2 gave similar reasons. I have two other really close friends in our friendship group and yesterday they said they don't want to be friends with me because I'm too clingy. So in the span of two days I've lost literally all my friends. I've been diagnosed with depression, and anxiety- I'm on medication and receiving therapy. I have tried committing suicide once before and constantly think about it. I'm not in school at the moment because the mental health team think I'm not stable enough to be in school. Today all my ex-friends have messaged me about how they're worried about me and some about how they care, etc.
I'm pretty bitter about the situation. They knew I was off school for feeling badly suicidal anyway so I don't see how they thought telling me I'm an awful person in such detail then abandoning me would help. Like they could've just waited until I came back to school and was in a better mental state.
The fact that they've messaged me again has made me feel worse if I'm being honest, and I don't know what to reply. I don't want to reply anything but they probably think I'm dead or something so I don't think it's fair to leave them in a constant state of worry, even if they've hurt me. I'm not okay, I'm feeling really badly suicidal and I'm might be going into hospital- it depends on what they think is best for me right now. So I'd be lying if I tell them I'm okay but at the same time they're not my friends and I don't want to list off about how shit I'm actually feeling. Any ideas on what to reply if anything at all? Thanks
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Hi Beautiful,
I totally get where you're coming from. I'm not here to give you a lecture about the importance of life or how the betrayal of friends at this age is a trivial issue. It matters. But ask yourself a question - whatever it is that you're going through, will it matter in 5 years? The depression, the anxiety will fly away. Trust yourself and me. I'm not going to ask you to be grateful for all the things that could go wrong but haven't, because I know that won't make your situation any better. But I'll ask to hold on to whatever little ray of hope that you find. Hope for a better future, for better people who love you inside out. As far as your friends are concerned, go ahead, reply to them in a concise way. Forgive them, let go of the negativity, not for them but for your inner peace. If you want a break from them? Take it. Make yourself your number one priority because you matter. No one can love you more than you love yourself. Have some faith in yourself. You are capable of everything. Jot down a list of goals you want to achieve and put all your positive energy into attaining them. Get up princess, make a change.
Here are a few songs that help me in my low phases.
1. I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
2. Salted Wound - Sia
3. Innocence - Avril Lavigne
4. Elastic Heart - Sia
5. Let it go - Avril Lavigne
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I think you should reply saying "Thank you for your concern. I need to take some time for myself right now." Leave it at that. Say nothing else. You don't want to trust these people too much given that they have abandoned you. Don't give them any details. They have already said, they are not your friends. They will probably write back asking you for more details. At that point, you can just ignore them because you will have already told them you need time for yourself.
Then, actually take time for yourself. Forget about your ex friends for now and do what makes you happy. As for moi, when I am feeling depressed I like to make a list of my blessings (such as my beauty and talent), take bubble baths, and listen to cheerful music while avoiding any composers whose names begin with the letter 'D' as they are all depressing.
Toodles!
Miss Piggy
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Hi love, I am so so so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been in the same boat also. Not having many friends when I was your age and all I wanted was friends. I know so many people say it gets better but those are just words and you feel like that, that day will never come. It will. I promise you. I am 24 and all of my life was suicidal, self harmed. I Over dosed to try to kill myself and I understand what your going through. I need you to know that you are 14. You have SO MUCH life ahead of you. I am sure your family cares so much about you. I am so happy that you are on medication and in therapy. It takes time. As for your friends, girls are mean. GIRLS WILL ALWAYS BE MEAN. I think you should just be honest about how you felt. You felt as if you were being a good friend and if they cant accept you for the way you are then they are not good friends. They arnt good friends for cutting you off in the first place. Of course they are going to be worried because they feel guilty. If they want to continue to be your friend they need to approach things in a different way. Instead of being like I don't want to be your friend because your clingy is just mean. I have clingy friends and what I tell them is that I love you, And I know you don't mean to be clingy but I just need space. When the time is right you can reach out to them. As for now answering I would just say "Im working on it thanks for checking in" You don't need to tell them your doing bad, or good. If your friends don't accept you for being you they are not good friends. I remember feeling this way...I remember driving and being like I just want to crash my car. It is okay to feel bitter towards your friends. Anyone would be. If you don't want to reply don't. You need to focus on yourself and on yourself. You need to be selfish to get yourself on the right track. If you ever need anything at all, someone to talk to I am here for you. And so many people would be there for you. Everyone in the world goes through this. NOTHING is wrong with you. Please remember that. You are not alone. It may feel the end of the world but it will be okay. xoxoxo
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Sweetie, I have been in the same boat. I am guessing that you feel like a social outcast. But that is okay. I personally have had 3,yes 3, suicide attempts. And I have finally found a way to at least deal with the sadness of feeling like a loner. I started really getting into my choir at school because I love music and found out I'm a great singer. Take up something you love and focus your life on that. And eventually you will make friends with the same common interest. And the anxiety, when it starts to get real bad, go to somewhere quite, shut your eyes, and just think about a happy place. Whether that be a beach, a forest, grandma's house, etc. It really helps to calm down your heart rate and then yourself. As for your "friends", tell them the truth, but not the whole truth. Maybe something like "I'm doing better. Thanks for the concerns." OR maybe "I just need some time and/or space. Thank you for the concerns, but I think it would be best if we didn't talk until I return to school." Again, these are just suggestions. I really hope that this helped! I hope you feel better soon!
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