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Am I depressed?
I've already been to the doctor, and I will describe what happened here, in the question. But, I'm really trying to get an opinion from someone else that perhaps, has gone through what I've gone through.
PROBLEM #1: I'm 25/f and I'm just extremely tired. I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. When I wake up, all I can think about is how much longer until I can go back to sleep. I just feel genuinely exhausted. I'm always being urged to go on vacations, but I don't seem to be interested in them. When I think of having a three day weekend, the last thing I wanna do is go on vacation. I just want to catch up on sleep and maybe some television. I have my bachelor's in education and I worked as an assistant teacher for some time. But, I had horrible experiences. I did it three years. The first year, it was terrible because I was still in school and I had another part time job. I would work from 8:30-3:30, then go to my other job from 4-8pm. Then, I would typically have class from 8:30-10:00 at night. I would get home by 10:30 and if I was lucky, I'd be asleep by 11, and do it all over again the next day. It was horrible. Keep in mind, too, that school requires work outside of class. So, it's not like I had the weekends to relax. It was just go go go. I became so anxious that I had to start taking medication to relax. I thought that I was having a heart attack one day, unable to breathe, but it was really just anxiety. So, I took that for a little while, and eventually, I felt better, my schedule leveled out, and I was able to come off of it. But, I enjoyed my job and my kids so much. Had it not been for everything else, I probably would have loved it more. The second time, I was working in after care, and it was completely different. There were no lessons and it was super boring. All I did was basically watch children play. No challenge, no stimulation. Then, the third time, I just got stuck with a horrible teacher. I guess I wasn't the only one because I heard from an old friend of her's that all her assistant's quit. That she was impossible to work with. That was the straw that led me to leave teaching. I quickly enrolled in a higher education master's program and started working in a university office. I've been working there for 9 months now. Honestly, though, this is not what I love to do. In addition, having a year round 8-5 schedule is not something I was use to. My goal now, is to get back into teaching and eventually, become a guidance counselor. But, I lack the confidence. And it's not because I don't have the credentials. I do. I just really lack confidence in so many areas of my life.
PROBLEM #2: I recently moved into my own house. I was very excited about this. My mom is single and lives with my grandparents. My uncle recently divorced his wife, and he and his daughter (my cousin) are living with my grandparents. My mom was given her own efficiency room (which I had been asking for since the time I was 19), and she refuses to stay there as a way to protest my uncle's staying there. She cries every day saying she wants to go home and wants her room back. But, she decided it would be more appropriate to stay with me. She now refuses to stay in the guest room. She sleeps in my bed. I have an efficiency in my home, which I rent out to tenants. So, I only have one bathroom right now, on my side of the house. She's made a complete mess. I never had my own room growing up. All I was excited about was getting my own room, then I got my own house, and she took over my room. I don't think I should have to move into my grandparent's efficiency and give my mom MY HOUSE just because she decided. I should be able to stay in MY HOUSE. She's the one that needs to go home.
PROBLEM #3: my mom controls my relationships like you wouldn't imagine. There's one I've had to keep a secret from her because she's threatened my safety. I have felt suicidal about this and couldn't shake the thought of escaping the prison she's put me in. I would never follow through with this. But, it's not an easy thing to live with. Ideally, I just want to leave this city. But, eventually, I will have to face her if I decide to continue this relationship. But, the fear eats me up alive every day.
All of these problems, I believe, are leading me to feel depressed. But, if they disappeared... if I suddenly felt more confident and happy in my career, if I was able to feel rested after a night' sleep, if I had my own bedroom, if my mom wasn't involved in my relationships, if I could date whoever I wanted at 25, if I could go out without my mom calling me 24/7 about when I was coming home... I think I would be happy. I look at people's pictures on Facebook and there's these 2 girls in particular that I know who are SO cheerful! I'm sure they have problems and I'm not naive enough to think they've got it all together. But, their cheerful. I can't even be cheerful. I'm constantly worried, afraid of my mom, and tired. My uncle took over her home and now she took over mine. I would leave the city sooner, but I'm still finishing my master's program.
So, do you think I'm depressed? That I actually need medication... or that these are circumstances causing me to feel this way? They will always try to get you to be on meds for "a little while" but, why should I have to put unwanted hormones into my body just because my aunt decided to leave my uncle? Because my mom decided to take over my house? It's just not fair. Why do I have to be medicated because of irresponsible people taking advantage of me? Taking pills isn't going to change the problem with my mom and the dating thing. It's not gonna take my mom out of the house. My mom watches TV in my room till 11 or 12. i have to be up by 6. So, yes, I'm tired! Why should i have to take pills because my mom won't let me sleep at 9:30/10:00? Or do you think this is deeper... and I need pills?
Thanks in advance
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Dear girl you need a through medical check up . for detailed discussion please contact me at doctorpirzada@yahoo.com
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As adviceman said, ones general practitioner isn't qualified to determine if you have depression. For that you need a specialist. However, there may be something your regular Dr. can check for.
A lot of the health problems of today come from the fact that our food and water system was been vastly compromised and much of what people eat or drink today not to mehtion personal care products and cleansers have so much toxins in it that eventually humans succumb to it. Without food or drink or anything else that hasn't been tampered with, we can (depending on how strong our body is to fight it) gain weight to obesity levels, heart disease, diabetes, but also lesser known is the various allergies now to foods or bot actually the food but what else is in there. Theres a reason why many people go to batural organic means to feed themselves, like gluten free, but its so much more. Pesticides in our foods may not kill in one meal but they add up over the years and we are now seeing in society the back lash of those moves. Worse yet is that if there is no immediate illness or reaction to a foreigb non food substance in our food and drink, the The food and drug asso. labels it healthy for human consumption. So if its not true depression and you haven't had it in life before Monsanto began adding GMO food and fertilizers to our food chain, then it may be due to the unfluence of these poisons and chemicals. They are very hard to avoid completely.
here's one link that gives the symptoms of Leaky gut ussues in a person, one of which are depression and fatigue that won't go away. When a person is not at their optimum best health wise, they will not feel like engaging in the normal activities.
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Now our regular doctors and dieticians have no idea why there are so many people with the same chronic health issues lately. When I asked my doctor why all doctors are stressing that every person over a certain age get their colon checked out for possible cancer, she said the AMA, medical asso, if it finds any health conditions on the uprise, will start testing ALL people for it. They don't think beyond that to what is causing the uprise. If you indeed do have this issue, leaky gut, you will need to self educate on what to do to get back to health. Our bodies are marvelous healing machines, once given the clean food and water and rest that the human body needs to get back to healthy. Taking a medicine for depression that isn't an imbalance the person was born with the weakened tendency towards, is not going to help the depression is its actually being caused by whats in our food supply.
My husband suffered a major problem with stomacy this year and I have been having many more allergic reactions of lately and since I've known of natural health and such for a long time, I am now no longer dabbling in it a bit but seriously going after changing our diet drastically. It is more expensive, more foods you have to prepare and cook from scratch so time consuming but if what we eat is healthier, our bodies require less volume of food to obtain all the vitamins and minerals we need. Vitamins even don't help, we've been taking them. The poisons are still in our food and environment. Why wait until its so serious you have an illness that keeps you bed bound all the time? There are books you can read to learn what you need as you won't get the advice needed from regualr medical people, cus they just dont know and havent been trained. You dont need a degree however but just common sense and being observing enough of every little thing going on in your body to know if you are doing better or not.
If you use facebookk at all, do a search for No GMO and a list of possible pages to subscribe to will come up including ones of healthy recipes alternatives, gluten free cooking, etc. and make sure to mark these to show up at the top of your feed once you get on line so you don't miss any articles. This is how I discovered the healing properties of coconut oil and there are so many things it does that are good for you that it is called a super food, one that should be in every persons diet. Remember the road to gettig ill was slowly over the years so back to health won't be instant either but you should be able to eventuall6 track some areas in which you are feeling and doing better.
Heres somes sites I read that I get as feeds on FB:
Non GMO project (this deals more with the laws and political aspects of it)
Just Eat Real Food (This site explains the health benefits of certain foods and which ones help with any so called medical conditions. Don't stop taking Dr meds but after a while, go get tested and if your health problem no longer exists the Dr. will take you off your meds and just shrug and declare the incidence as a miracle.)
Eat Local Grown (This promotes knowing where you get your food from, farmer markets and health food stores, asking them questions as to how they raise and process the food, and also provides great recipes as an alternative to what is offered now, especially if going gluten free or dairy free or even just cutting down.
There are many more but you want to sign up for the ones that have plenty of daily feeds rather than one or two a month. I am undergoing some serious retraining on foods how they are raised and the health benefits to or the unhealthy side effets of other things.
Before you go on meds for depression, it should be the last resource, that you seek out. If true depression or anxiety, there are now for a couple decades a couple of known other things, non medicinal that have helped way more people than meds have. Even those who had been on meds for years, now fully cured. One method is CBT, cognitive behavorial therapy. The basis is on distorted thinking, something we all do at times but dwelling on it month in and out, over time will cause thinking (cognitive) based on negativity which affects our behavior then. If you want to read some books to know how well this works and to have hope, I would recommend author and psychologist, Dr. David D. Burns. I found two of his books at the local library.
I recommend you checking out his website too and listening to podcasts of how he started his change from only giving out meds for depression to promoting CBT first and now his T.E.A.M. methods. The podcasts are new. Started in last two months. The first shows on opening page, then 2 thr 4 are found on tab for Dr Burns Blogs. It might be uplifting and encouraging for you to find and read the section of people like you and me who wrote in telling him of what they suffered and how his books cured them. Its not so easy for most tho and I've read the books. Most people will need to read and also see a psychologist who uses these methods. If you are ready to check with one to see if you do have a need, I'd ask at this website for referrals of Dr.s in your area if you're not in N. Calif. or can't attend one of his traveling seminars.
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I have shared alot but I hope that no matter what the main source of your issue is, I know its got to be either mental or physical so these are the best leads I can give.
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I have suffered from depression and now am considered cured. It took time, medication and a lot of hard work with a clinical psychologist to get where I am today. I am a different person then I was when depressed and I made many changes in my life so not to relapse and you will need to as well.
First you need to find a Board Certified Physiatrist to evaluate you and provide the proper medication. Your primary care doctor is not qualified to do this for you. a Board Certified Physiatrist is a medical doctor who has done a Fellowship in psychiatry and has passed the test by the College of Psychiatry to be certified. This is the best doctor to medicate you.
You will then be told to see a Clinical Psychologist for talk therapy. This is where the real work on curing the depression happens. The psychologist should become your new best friend, someone you feel comfortable sharing your deepest darkest secrets with. You may have to change therapist a few times before you find the one your comfortable with. This is fine, I went through three before I found the one I could be comfortable with who just happened to be a women.
That was the medical side, now for the lifestyle side. Send mom home or back to your grandparents. I see this problem as one of the triggers of your depression. she has places to stay and it is not as if your kicking her to the curb with no place to go.
Your mom living with you and taking over the private space you have worked hard for I see as a depressive trigger. sending mom back to grandma removes the trigger one less trigger to deal with.
Next you have to stand up for yourself. You are 25 years old and you cannot allow your mother to control you. You are an adult entitled to all the privileges of an adult. She may not like your lifestyle or a boyfriend but as the saying goes it is your life to live if she doesn't like that's just tough.
I had a somewhat similar problem with my father. One day I sat down and wrote him a letter telling everything that was wrong and every hurt he ever did to me. I told him he had to change or I didn't want to see him any more and I would not see him again until he apologized. My father has never apologized in his life.
That letter was the hardest letter I ever wrote. It was also the most life changing letter I ever wrote. A world of problems was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I have never spoken or seen my father again until the day he died and I'm fine with that. My therapist and I spoke at length about him and what I chose to do. It was my decision to write the letter, she supported me afterwards. My father was the biggest trigger of my depression and I was suffered unknowingly with depression for a good portion of my life.
Don't be like me get help, claim your life back. Demand you mother treat you as the adult you are and send her back to grandma. I believe if you do these three things most of the depression will lift immediately. They rest will lift with the help of talk therapy.
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Depression can be a reasonable reaction to difficult situations, but that doesn't mean you can't benefit from medication as well. The fact that situations are contributing to your feelings of depression, doesn't make your depression or anxiety any less real.
You need to sleep. You are going to continue to get worse unless you get sufficient sleep. If you need pills to sleep, then take pills to sleep. That part is really straightforward. If you aren't sleeping, you aren't going to be equipped to deal with the other shit you need to do deal with. I don't know why you are talking about 'hormones' because not a single medication I know of as a sleep aid or for depression and anxiety are hormonal.
It's not fair, but it's also not fair to you or your kids if you don't take advantage of every possible tool that might assist you. Medication might assist you right now. Don't be prideful about it. This isn't about anyone else, this is about doing the best for yourself.
You don't actually talk about what your doctors has said to you, but if your doctor has suggested medication, it is certainly worth trying. Whether this is deeper or not, your doctor's advice should be considered.
Also, call the cops on your mother already. She's squatting. Get her out.
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