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Does he like me?
So my friend's ex-boyfriend and I talk sometimes a little bit. My friend and him remained to be best friends. When we talk, it's never casual. We don't text each other just to talk. It's either he has a question about something for me, or I have a question about something for him.
Anyway, my friend, me, and him are all in a group chat. And I posted a Facebook pic yesterday and he asked me if a question about it and blah blah but he didn't like the pic. So I told him to like it and he did and said "I liked it just for you." And my friend was like "Omg betrayed </3"
But moving on, I was about to leave somewhere and he texted into the group chat "(My friend's name) call me." Then he said "Wait no, let's have a group call." & I said I have to leave and he asked for how long and I said hour. He said "Aite we'll wait 4 u" and my friend was like "We'll wait an hour to call?" & he said "until she gets back."
While I was gone, they had a brief conversation, and he said when he earns his first million, he'll take US out to a nice restaurant.
Then we called each other and whatnot and he just talked to both of us at a time. Now, I'm very obsessed with Korea and the language too. He happens to be Korean. So at the end he asked "Can you read Korean like (my friend's name) can?"
And I'm like "Yea" and he's like "Wow really? That's really..." and my friend was like "You sound so impressed" and he was like "I am impressed when someone take the time to..." and blah blah blah lol and we ended the call.
After, I texted my friend "wow you guys have an interesting relationship" because they were literally arguing the whole time and my friend sounded so pissed. She confessed to me that she was jealous and annoyed and she's scared that he'll like me more than her. But I don't see how he likes me? Does he like me? I honestly think he was just trying to be nice since I don't know him that well... what do you think?
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Perhaps he likes you. I agree with the other advicegiver, it certainly sounds like he's flirting. And flirting is done by some people when they like someone and want to find out if you like them back. But...others flirt just for the fun of flirting and will flirt even tho they are not seriously thinking about a relationship with you. Usually these people can be witnessed flirting with different people all the time tho, not just focused on one. In this case, its part of their personality, not an actual true interest.
I do however have a flip side view to the situation of someones ex boyfriend showing an interest in or asking to date the bestfriend, or any friend of an ex. I know its awkward and there are lots of bad feelings when this happens. Some people have a hard time with feeling jealous, even if the person didn't work out for them.
Now here's the view of those with more life experience, less problem with jealousy, and more maturity in the area of relationships. (Not saying you or friend are immature, just that we all mature IF we learn more life experiences. ANd the experiences aren't always nice, pretty and all roses. Such as in your case, it's not a very pretty picture. But what makes the experience you have, turn from a bad one that your friend and you want to drop and run away from, is the willingness to learn and grow, learn a new and better way to look at it. Could there really be a better way? More positive? Yes!!
When we are young, we are still trying to figure out what we like in the opposite sex while trying to also gain our own self confidence at the same time. That is hard for any human to know or figure out. There are older people who never figured it out in an entire lifetime. But there are ways. Dating should be a discovery time to figure out if the persons who are attracted to each other visually, actually have things in common, but more important, do they have chemistry together, pheremones matching closely, and do they admire their gf/bf, and find it hard to not fall in love, not just like or love.
In the dating process, at first we will find ourselves dating the wrong person for us. Or perhaps lets say the guy/girl has some bad character flaws or habits that are very destructive to a relationship. Those reasons are why I left my ex. Its hard to see these things at first because everyone acts their best at first when dating and when finally they feel the other is hooked, they begin to relax and show their true character, whether it be good or bad. So at any point in a relationship, even years later, something very important to health of a relationship can go wrong. If the one causing it doesnt see they are the problem or are unwilling to go for counseling, there is nothing one can do but break up. With teens and college age, it may not be so complicated as using counseling for a long established relationship, they just simply break up and start dating someone else.
It doesnt mean that anything is wrong with your girlfriend if she and he didn't work out. Either one or both had issues with things about each other, things that would require the person changing who they are, good characteristics, not character flaws, in order to be right for their partner. Is it more often that two people who are wrong for each other are dating. But the deal is to learn and recognize they aren't right person and to not settle for less and keep looking. So if he and she didn't turn out, there is nothing wrong so to speak with him checking you out next to see if you and he might work out.
You can't change your friends view to understand what I just explained, that whether its a friend or some girl neither of you know, he can't remain single the rest of his life to avoid upsetting his first and only, or his last girlfriend. Its just silly. If we cater to all the jealous feelings of exs, none of us would ever find the right person to marry or remarry. I left my ex. If I had greater concern about what his ex wife thought, or he about what my ex husband thought, we might not be together.
If you choose to continue on with flirting and exploring a possible relationship with him, you may risk losing her friendship. You need to decide if you want to hold on to her friendship more at this point in your life rather than date any ex boyfriends of hers.
If you are teens and just in early stages of dating, I'd advise to not upset your best friend. Both of you will mature and change with time and this situation won't seem as important to her in later years. If you are somewhere in your 20's and you are starting to think about finding a guy to fall in love with and marry, then my advise would be different. As an adult, your friend needs to learn to grow past this part in her life of getting jealous when there's no need for it. Jealousy is a fear of losing something and she's already lost him. Can't count something as yours, especially something that can't be owned/or shouldn't be owned, like another person. With jealousy, a person is making unfair comparisons, feeling that someone else is better than yourself and will be successful at some point in stealing away ones guy for example. Its not about being Better, but about being Different, the differences that make two people more right for each other. Nothing may come of this guy anyways. But you do need to know this if the time comes when as an adult you are wishing to marry and someone is jealous of it being their ex or simply that the bf is taking time away from you being with her. Unless homosexual, the both of you are going to marry and have kids someday with someone of the opposite sex. The same can all be done with gays, but thats not my point. The point is one person who doesnt have anyone at the time is feeling not jealous but envy that their freind has something or a chance at something that they don't and that is called Envy. Wanting something the other has, or they assume the other has. But jealousy can be mixed in. I hope that wether now or in future situations when you are seriously seeking a mate, that this info will come in handy.
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In my take on this I think he is flirting with you. It is obviously going to upset your friend because what kind of girl wouldn't get jealous of their ex liking their best friend? That is a girls worst night mare. In this care I honestly think you should just ensure your friend and remind her that your not interested in him and you would never do that to her. As for him I would not feed into his bullshit. Him being "friendly" is flirting. If you had a boyfriend would you be okay with him texting your best friend for questions? weather hes an ex or not I don't think the friendship should remain because your friend obviously still cares about this guy. If he keeps trying to flirt with you I would just make it clear that you are not interested. By reading this I am guessing you are at a young age. Your friend is just jealous he is sharing interest in someone else and that someone else happens to be her best friend. It also seems like he is purposely doing it to make her jealous. Boys have no boundaries. Another thing to do is ignore him, this shows your best friend that your not interested. whatever you do just remember that boys will come and go but your friends should last a life time. hope this helps in some way xoxo
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