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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hey my parents are emotionally abusing me but i doubt they know it. I feel like i am slowly suffocating to death. I don't like feeling like this and I just want to be normal rather than be depressed. They won't understand even if i talk to them because although they think they are modern, they really are not. My father always thinks that he is right and all my life choices have been made for me already. Do you think i should commit suicide?I don't want to live like this anymore and I can't live with my pride stripped away. I don't want to be so selfish and just die but its not like I am ever going to be happy in the shade of my parents so what's the point?My religion is against suicide too but am at the point of no return.So many things have happened and I can't forget all those bitter memories and its close to killing me dad by day.I used to have endless dreams but they all hold no meaning anymore.What do i do?I can't even take it one day at a time, should i just die?I feel so pathetic please help me please i don't know what to do
I am from singapore
Suicide is not a solution it is the wrong answer to the problem. IF you lived in the USA I would offer you a number of different options for places to call or ask for help. One of which might be available in Singapore is to talk with a trusted teacher and see if the school can help you.
What I am reading tells me that the problem may be a difference in culture and age issues. In your culture it has been the father's responsibility to plan for the future of his children up to and including who they might marry. This is more true for a daughter. In more recent times this part of your culture has given way to the more westerns way of life.
I'm not sure if the URL provided below will help though they do offer a variety of family services. If you are depressed and contemplating suicide I ask that you give them a call.
http://www.ncss.org.sg/home/index.asp
Why is it that my boyfriend is not surcumsized and we have sex my vigina leaks after words?
The fact that your boyfriend is uncircumcised has nothing to do with what is leaking out of you. If you are having unprotected sex, not recommended, what is leaking out is the seminal fluid he ejaculates that your vagina cannot retain. This fluid is the vehicle by which the sperm is transferred from him to you. Much of this fluid is excess and still has sperm in it.
Enough sperm has been left behind to make you pregnant if you are not on some other form of birth control. This fluid is also pure protein and is why when giving him a BJ there is no problem with you swallowing it. How it tastes will depend on how healthy a diet he is on.
If you are using condoms then the fluid leaking from you is most likely your own lubrication that you make when sexually excited This lubrication makes penetration more comfortable for you and easier for him. Now there is a belief that there are some women that can ejaculate a seminal like fluid, without sperm as you do not have the testicles needed, during orgasm. There are some women that say they do, doctors and medical scientists are unsure of this. If this is so you may be one of the women capable of this ejaculation and this is what is leaking.
The 2 most likely reasons for leaking remain seminal fluid or your own lubrication.
I have come to realize that I'm lesbian. I feel like I need to come out because it feels... Stressful to hide who I am. I don't know how to come out to my family or some if my friends. I don't want to hide this from them. Please, help me?
Let me start by saying I agree with everything the previous two advisors have written. What bothers me is not the fact that you are a lesbian, there is nothing wrong with being Gay or Lesbian. I am bothered by the way you have written it; "I have come to realize that I'm lesbian." The words "I HAVE COME" make me think this is a recent decision of yours that you are a Lesbian.
My concern is you just do not wake up one morning and decide you are gay. According to the most recent science on this Doctors and Scientist now believe that homosexuality is the way you are born. That it is in the DNA. That long before puberty hits you would know you were different than your friends.
If I knew your age I might be more comfortable with your opening sentence. For it is very natural for both boys and girls just entering puberty to experiment sexually with the same sex. While I do not have any scientific statistical data to back up what I am about to say. It is my guess that nearly 70% or more of those of us who are now adults have at one time or another experimented sexually with our same sex. It is safer to find out about sex and sexuality with someone of your own sex and parents rarely question what goes on behind closed doors with teenagers of the same sex.
If you believe you are a Lesbian because you have recently had a same sex encounter this does not make you a Lesbian. It makes you a normal teenage girl experimenting with her sexuality. The fact that you may have liked it is still normal and may mean you could be leaning toward being Bi.
If you are still in High School I urge you NOT to label yourself as putting any label that is anything other than normal is dangerous to you. If you have known before puberty that you were different then you could be a lesbian. Still given how your friends and other kids at school will react it is much safer for you to stay in the closet and not subject yourself to the hate and bigotry that kids can put on you for something they truly don't understand and something that is really entirely normal for you.
As I said in the beginning there is nothing wrong with being Gay or Lesbian. For those who are it is there normal. It was how they were born. Many people today are learning this, still there are some out there who don't understand and that hate is passed to their children. Until these children learn better teenage Gays and Lesbians are safer keeping this information private. In short I am concerned for your safety if you are a high school student.
Ok so just today my mom yelled that because I argue with my sister her and dad fight and because of me someone might have to leave and it might be her because she can't deal with it and today my dad pulled my sister's hair and it's my fault because I aggravated him. And when my suicidal thoughts reached them my dad told me I'm gonna have to stop or him and mom are getting a divorce. Wtf? And I'm not going to a fucking psychologist I refuse. I haven't attempted suicide and my mom made me promise not to but sometimes it seems like the only way out! And my dad seems to think I'm some unpaid baby sitter because once when I was at a bbq I said I wasn't gonna watch them all night like I always do and both my parents threw fits! Help?
Parents blaming their children for their problems is not only poor parenting it is child abuse, mental abuse, which is just as real as physical child abuse. Yes you should see a psychologist for you need someone you can talk to, scream at if need be who will help you put what is happening in its proper perspective or it will ruin your life for ever. Don't be like I have been and try and bury it and then have it all come out in a near death experience when you're in you mid 50's and have to deal with it and the accident and lawyers and everything else that happens when some drunk driver runs you off the road.
You can't fix what is wrong with your parents but you can get help for the abuse you and your sister are under. Talk to a trusted teacher or your school principal. Tell them what your home life is like, in detail as I'm sure there is more than what you wrote to us. They are required by law to protect you if they feel you are being abused at home.
Just what action will be taken I can't say as it is up to what child protective services feels is needed to keep you safe. Your parents could be sent for counseling. You would be assigned a person for CPS who will check on you or you could call if needed.
It does not always mean you or your sister will be put in foster care. That is something that is done if you or your sister are in real danger, which I don't see from what you have written.
Children don't come with handbooks like a new car. Some parents come by their parenting skills naturally and some like your parents may need to be taught how to parent and how to cope with teenagers and still manage to love each other. This is what CPS does, they work with families to correct problems. It is not their purpose to break families up. So please tomorrow talk to a teacher or your school principal.
my bf touched me down till my hair.. he didnt even touch my clit.. i gave him a handjob and he ejaculated but i also didnt touch my vagina.. my period date is 26.. its 5th today! and my periods are 9 days late.. it had been 10 days late before also.. and ive been having my 7 periods every month.. im just scared cause its been 9 days and still havent got my periods.. am i pregnant? or is it normal.. im not stressed at all.
Most likely if no sperm entered your vagina you are not pregnant. What may be happening is the stress concerning if you might be pregnant has caused your period to be late or to be skipped altogether. This is quite common in women when they are stressed.
Your body is delicately balanced any interference with that balance can interfere or disrupt that balance. Stress is the biggest one, taking certain medications such as antibiotics is another. Even some types of over the counter medications can disrupt your cycle or delay a period.
For women of your age being pregnant is the biggest stressor of them all. I seriously doubt you are pregnant but if you have your doubt buy a home pregnancy test and follow the directions on the package. Anyone over the age of 14 and purchase one without parental permission. This is federal law and don't let anyone tell you different should you decide to purchase a test kit.
I am seriously, seriously dreading October 15th as my older brother and his wife might be visiting. I seriously do not like this because each time they come down here, they end up using my room. I do not like this as they have a habit of going through my things and give me problems with what I own. Examples include my old action figures when I was a child which are stuffed in the closet and a Confederate Flag which I have hanging on my wall (I keep it mainly for my admiration for History). They also give me issues about something new each time they visit.
Sometimes it is something they just brought up or imagined. I say this because many years ago back when they visited in 2005, they had the nerve to accuse me of yelling at their only child when I do not recall such a thing and now I fear they might accuse me of something EVEN worse.
Lastly, I do not like being displaced because I feel a sense of inferiority considering I still live with my father. I also do not like this because I have no where to leave when my brother and his wife visit. I have tried to tell my family I do not like them using my room nor do I like them giving me problems. I want my room to be mine when they come. I am sick of being walked on by my family who does not respect how I feel when my brother and his wife come to visit.
How do I get them to listen where everyone wins and I keep what is mine?
Displaced and Frustrated.
This is a tough question to answer. While your room is your room. The house it occupies belongs to your father and as many of us have written before it is his house his rules. If he says you need to sleep on the couch while your brother and sister in-law visit; unfortunately that is what you must do.
If I understand what you have written correctly they last visited in 2005. We are now approaching 2015, ten years have past. It is possible they have matured since then having raised their own children. It is also very true that you are older and entitled to more privacy then you were 10 years ago.
What I suggest, and I am assuming there is no other room with privacy they can use, is that you have a conversation with your dad before they arrive. You need to point out your concerns and your need for your privacy as well. This part about your need for privacy is important for as parents we tend to forget about this and similar things with older children still living at home. You could suggest to dad that your brother and sister in-law be put up in a close bye motel. If you are working you can offer to pay a portion of the cost.
There is no shame in asking relatives to stay in a motel just for sleeping especially if your home cannot offer the comfort and privacy for all concerned. It is also not unreasonable to ask then to chip in for expenses they may cost you during their visit if you cannot afford it. This would include food as well as the motel. It is also quite possible your brother might prefer a motel over your dads house but afraid to say anything for fear of offending your father.
I have been asked by relatives if I would stay at a motel as they are short on accommodations. While they have offered to pay for the motel; with one relative I have paid for I earn more than they do. In the case of one relative I prefer the motel as she tends to be a bit bossy overbearing.
If you knew your 27 year old brother was on cocaine and heroin and you felt that having him arrested was the only way to protect his life, would you do it?
If you, your parents, and your other siblings had tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING short of getting him arrested and it all had failed to get him off of the drugs, what would you do? What if you had enough proof that he possesses drugs for the police to make the arrest? Would you actually call the police and have your own brother cuffed and thrown in jail?
He's already been arrested twice and sent to rehab twice and of he's arrested again he could be in big, BIG trouble. He might hate you if you do it and although your parents have talked about doing it themselves, everyone else might think you're a horrible brother. Still, you love home too much to let those consequences control your decision.
He actually overdosed once and almost died. His roommate had to call an ambulance and when they got there, your brother had stopped breathing and they had to shove a tube down his throat to force air into his lungs. You had to drive you parents to the hospital because upon hearing the news, they went into some kind of episode driven by the fear that their son was either dying or dead.
In addition to the fear you feel for your brother, your parents are living in agony because they're terrified for his life and you're worried that their stress and anxiety is damaging their health. You mom can't sleep well most nights and can't sleep at all some nights. She's constantly on the verge of having a coronary because of she can't live with the terror of her son dying from a drug overdose and your dad is always stressed out too. Your siblings live in agony as well and it'd just be better for everyone if your brother got off the drugs one way or another. What would you do?
First some of the facts about jail time. Many states and the federal government are relooking at the minimum jail times being handed down for simple possession and use of drugs. The mandatory minimum sentences handed down in the 80's and 90's are being looked at as cruel and unusual sentences therefor they are now seen as unconstitutional. Those sentenced under those guidelines may now apply for Clemency and or early parole.
What I'm saying is that the threat of going to jail may not have the impact it had just a few months ago. Also if your brother has been to jail before then he may very well know how to score drugs while incarcerated. It is unfortunate but true that in our prisons drugs and other substances are easily obtained. Sending your brother to jail to dry out may not be the answer.
What I suggest for you and your family is Al Anon to learn how to deal with a family member who is in to substance abuse. By attending Al Anon meetings, which are like AA meetings, you will learn from others, how best to deal with your brother and how to save yourselves the pain and anguish he is causing you. If you are a teenager or under 21 Alateen meetings may be more comfortable for you.
One of the first things you learn is like the old adage; "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." The same is true with and addict. They have to want to get better before they will accept help. Generally this means they have to hit bottom before they will accept help. Everyone's bottom is different.
Al Anon and Alateen are your best choice in dealing with your brother. Putting him in jail does not mean sobriety. Even if he does get sober the chances are very high that upon release he will go right back to his old habits.
Below is the URL for the Al Anon meeting locator page. Before you do anything else go to a meeting or two and talk to the people at the meeting. They have been where you are and they can and will help you deal with your brother.
http://al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings
15/f. I've been feeling ill for the past couple days but it's gotten a lot worse. Please tell me what I have with my list of symptoms. I am a vegetarian and have been for 2 years and over muscle cramps and spasms in my legs from not eating properly. I have a pounding terrible headache. I am super nauseous whenever I move or lookaf anything and when I lay down, it feels like my bed is spinning. My throat is a bit sore. And my stomach is killing me. I feel like I need to throw up but when I got to the washroom, nothin happens and I just feel more nauseous. Please tell me what I have
I agree with everything solidadvice4teens has written. Based on what you have written your symptoms are serious enough to call 911 and ask for help and transportation to the closest ER.
Each of the symptoms you have written are abnormal by themselves. Some at their worst are indications of life threatening problems. Combines the are definitely abnormal and worth and ambulance ride to a hospital ER.
My advice is to call 911 or call you doctor but see a doctor ASAP.
15/f. I am taking an automotive class in my highschool and the teacher was doing a demonstration with a car on and he was revving it and making a bunch of sound while the car was running and I know what carbon monoxide smells like and it smells exactly like that. We had the garage doors in the shop closed and I feel really dizzy, have headaches, naeseous, I have upper stomach pains around my chest as well, fatigue, and loss of appetite. Do I have carbon monoxide poisoning?
None of us are doctors and even if we were we could not make a proper diagnoses without examining you. Carbon monoxide is odorless. What you are smelling is the burnt gases and chemical smells emitted by the exhaust system. Within these gases is where carbon monoxide exists.
Some of the symptoms you have listed are symptoms of Carbon Monoxide poisoning. They are also the same symptoms of the flu, which is why people wait so long to see a doctor or go to a hospital ER when the do suffer from carbon monoxide poisoning.
You could be suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning or you could have the flu. You could also be manifesting these symptoms out of your concern over being afflicted with this problem.
My suggestion is if you are this concerned call your doctor or call 911 for help.
21/f
Here is some of my education background:
I did a high school program where I was able to get two free years of college as a high school student. I graduated with my associates at the age of 18. My advisor shoved most of our college courses during our senior year of high school--I took 27 credit hours in one semester. I barely even graduated. My GPA was knocked down. The remaining two years, I transferred to a university and graduated with a bachelors degree in Psychology. My GPA was also low because I was mentally exhausted from the year before, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I just had a rough year and I struggled to keep my grades up.
The last year of my undergrad studies, I tried my best to pull my grades back up. Making B's one semester and finally A's and B's my last semester pulling my GPA up to a 3.6 that semester and a 3.0 for my overall GPA. I reached the requirements to apply for the graduate school of my choosing.
I want to go into graduate school for counseling but I'm afraid I won't get into it. I may have reached the requirement GPA but because it's not GREAT, they will determine it through my personal statement, my GRE score, and an interview. I am TERRIBLE at standardized tests. I never do well on them. I have been studying and I've been trying to be confident. My test date is a month away and even though the school I want to go to has no required score for the GRE. I want to do well. I want to get into the school.
I know that the explanation I have given are no excuses for my grades and my GPA.
Do you have any advice for me to not get too anxious? Any tricks and tips for the GRE or to get into graduate school? I've been stressing over it and I can't help but keep worrying.
My advice would be to relax. If you don't know the material by now you won't learn it in a month. This is what I see in people who don't test well. By the time the test rolls around they are mentally fatigued from studying. What I suggest is a light review of those areas that you are less confident in about one to two hours a day.
spend a few minutes of that study time practicing your personal statement and refining it. Ask someone who knows you well to read it to see if you have captures the real you in what you have written. In these statements I do not believe that a life history is as important as what your goals in life are. Such as what attending their program means to you.
I would also believe a letter of recommendation from your undergraduate professor in psychology would help as well. What you might ask for is a letter that tells about you and that you are better than what is reflected in your test scores. There are many like you and me who do not test well. This does not mean we do not know the materiel. For the most part people who do not test well are better practitioner than those who do test well because those that do have never learned to make theory into practice though they have learned how to test well.
Getting yourself all tied up in knots is not going to get you what you want. Take a break, relax do something that is fun for you. A short vacation say a long weekend someplace fun and exciting then back home to light studies of the weaker parts of your courses and practice writing your personal statement.
Look at what I'm suggesting this way. Your undergraduate school was the hard training a prize fighter puts in leading up to the big fight. Getting into graduate school is the prize fight, in the short span leading up to the fight the fighters coach put him and a relaxed training schedule so that he is not over trained when the bell rings. This is what I am recommending for you.
I am 19.I try to ignore the attraction towards girls but I can't help.I don't want to be a lesbian.what do I do.??please help!
The one thing I can tell you for certain, at least based on what little you have written is; you are not a Lesbian. Scientist have taught us that Homosexuality is not a learned action it is the way some people are born. If you were a lesbian you would have seen signs of this long before puberty.
As for being Bi or Bi curious scientists are not so certain. They believe this is a lifestyle that a person may be able to adapt to and live a heterosexual lifestyle as well.
While I do not believe you are a Lesbian there is nothing wrong with being Gay, Bi or a Lesbian. Two of the three are how you are born, embrace it and enjoy the sexuality you were born with. The third is as we feel today a chosen lifestyle. This too is something to be embraced.
It is not unusual to be attracted to the same sex and be heterosexual. Something about a person does something to us. It does not mean we are gay or we want to have sex with that person. If you do have attraction to girls as well as boys there is nothing wrong with this. Enjoy your sexuality. You may want to try a bi sexual relationship. You might find that while you find girls attractive a sexual relationship is not something you want.
I'm 14 almost 15 and my boyfriend wants to have sex this weekend it's his birthday. I feel that I'm ready but..people say we're to young and I'd never be able to admit it to my mom.. Any advise?
The two of you are way too young to be having sex. IF he is using his birthday as a reason for you’re to have sex with him then I would say he is not truly in love with you as much as he is in lust for you.
Boys his age have a different meaning for love one that is more the meaning for lust. They say things like, "If you love me you will have sex with me, or in this case "The best birthday present would be to haves sex with you." Boys have only one thing on their mind; sex. Because like you they are going through puberty and they need a release for the sexual energy brought on by puberty, hence the word horny. You can give him this relief with a handjob or oral sex, you do not have to let him have intercourse with you and you should not allow him to do so.
It will also be very painful for you at your present age to have intercourse. You may have your period, your breast may be filling out and your body may be taking on the curves of a woman. What probably has not happened yet is the hormones that are needed to release, unfreeze, the muscles of your vagina so a penis can be accommodated, have not been released yet. This does not mean he can't enter you it just means it will be painful and he can cause damage if he is overly large.
For a female losing her virginity will always be somewhat painful. Waiting until you’re older and closer to the end of puberty rather than the beginning will make it less painful and a much more enjoyable experience for you. Not only that but with losing your virginity comes the worry of pregnancy. Do you really want or need that worry at 14?
can a get pregnant wen u nut in her ass
No!!! The anus is not connected to the womb only the vagina connects to the womb where a baby grows.
I was diagnosed with costochondritis during the month of May this year. Before that, I had always had slight chest pains that had simply incremented this year thanks to the fatigue and mental stress I went through in the science fair. I am currently eighteen and female, recently having gotten myself into some Karate clases which I have found I actually like. However, last time I went, we did so many push ups, sit ups and punches to the stomach, that now my entire chest and abdominal areas are sore to the point where everytime I breath or move too much it causes jolts of pain - no doubt this is costochodritis coming back for a vengeance. I already bought the uniform and everything, but should I keep going to the clases or cut on the exercise? I admit it was partly my fault because I am pretty stubborn and I do push myself a bit too hard sometimes.
None of us are doctors so we cannot and should not make a medical decision or diagnoses here.
What I would do here if I were you is the following.
!. Stop[ being such a hard head and inform the Karate instructor about your costhocondritis. Let the instructor decide if you should continue and if so what adjustment to the training can be made for your condition.
2 You will probably be asked for a doctor's authorization to continue with the Karate instruction. IF not I would want to get a clearance from my doctor in any case and any suggestions from my doctor to continue with Karate. I may even ask my doctor for the name of a sports medicine doctor knowledgeable of this condition who might be better able to monitor and help me so I can continue to enjoy this activity.
I am someone who unfortunately suffers from chronic pain due to an auto accident. I am treated for this condition at a Pain Clinic at a Nationally known hospital that specializes in Orthopedics and Rehabilitation. I'm just fortunate enough to live close to it.
There are many Pain Clinics throughout the Country who might be able to treat the pain you suffer with and limit the pain for you allowing you to participate to a greater degree. If you want to find out I would suggest you look at a Pain Clinic at a Hospital that is also a level one Trauma Center as they would most likely be the best and hopefully the most advanced in your area.
Lately I've been feeling extremely insecure about myself. I know its wrong, but I feel like whatever Major I get or university I graduate from will speak too much of me. A cousin of mine didn't manage to get into the one I did, which is a nice college, and my mom Heard that apparently his mother (who is also my godmother) was talking about me behind my back. She said in a discreet way that I would either not make it through college or that I would end up like my two cousins - pregnant. It really hurt me and everytime I think about changing majors that pops up and restrains me. I'm in the science department, in Geology or Earth Sciences. I like it, but its not my passion. I would prefer going into journalism or graphic arts. In the college I'm in the closest things I have to those are either a Major in English or in Plastic Arts, since this college doesn't give much emphasis to arts, but more to the sciences and mathematics. There are other colleges that are even closer to my own home, one has a program on Technology on Tele-Radial Communications and the other has a program in Graphic Arts. I'm afraid of not finding a job with these though. Any suggestions about any of that? Preferably if its worth following my dreams in the "arts" business.
Geology or Earth Sciences, journalism or graphic arts all very good courses of study. Of the four the one with the best prospect for a job is Graphic arts followed by Electronic Journalism as in TV or Web Reporting. News paper and magazine types of Journalism is I fear going to succumb to the electronic media of news or other forms of electronic reporting.
Geology and Earth Science are both very interesting career fields though employment in these field is not that good and the compensation is not that high. But that should not be your over riding reason for how you pick your major.
How you pick your major is dependent on:
1. Something that is going to make you want to get out of bed every morning and go to work. High compensation is not always a reason to get up and go to work if you don't love your job.
2. Must be something of a passion for you will be doing this work for the next thirty to forty years.
3. Should compensate you sufficiently to provide for the creature comforts of life or a long with a partner raise a family in comfort.
Having the College Degree, even if it is in Liberal Arts is what is important today. The name of the College on that Diploma is not that important in todays market place. Unless you are going to be a Doctor or a Lawyer and then where you receive your education and training is a factor.
While you have not said what year you are in at college, I have the feeling you may be in your first year. If so selecting a major is not that important at this time. The first two years of most Majors can be dedicated to the Liberal Arts portions of the degree and for most majors they are the same.
This means you can spend this year taking and passing those courses you have selected. You can even do so next year. Most if not all of those credits would be transferrable to another school at the end of this year or next. This gives you time to really think about what is truly your passion.
While I took Graphic Arts as a Major I spent almost my entire career in Sales and Marketing. It just happened to be something I gravitated to. I didn't waste my education as my graphic design played a big part in my success both in the sales and the marketing side of my business.
I tell you this for at 18 or 21 we really do not know what path we will truly follow. Prepare for a career in something that excites you. Then be open to what lives brings to you. You will find it surprising just what doors your preparation opens for you.
For the record I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather and I am retired now.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. He is 23 and I'm 21. From the time we began dating, all he loves to do is have sex. Every time we see each other he pushes to have sex, sometimes in public places. I am forced to have sex around 3 to 4 times when I'm with him, he doesn't force himself on me, I suppose I feel guilty telling him no. Even when I do, he asks if he doesn't do it for me or if I want somebody else. I love him very much and I would just like to sit down with him without him touching me all the time. What do I do?
There is such a thing as being addicted to sex. For a 23 year old male to want sex as much as you say he does I'm not sure if he is addicted to sex or just plain horny. Men his age do have an overactive libido.
I understand how his overactive sex drive can make you feel. Probably somewhat as a vessel of relief for his needs rather than someone that actually loves you. If this is how you feel it is understandable.
Before you write off a four year relationship I suggest you talk with him and ask him if he would agree to visiting a couple of doctors with him. You have this conversation with him where sex cannot happen and you start by telling him how much you love him.
You tell him how his over active sex makes you feel and you need to know if he is addicted to sex or just plain horny. To find out if he is addicted to sex requires seeing his family doctor for a complete physical and then a Doctor of psychology who specializes in sexual dysfunctions, a sex therapist. Tell him you will be with him all the way through this but you cannot be just a vessel for his sexual relief any longer. You want and need more from a relationship. You tell him if he loves you he will do this for you.
I'm a 3rd year medical student, in the USA. I have so much on my mind and so much work to do and to add to the pile of things I have to worry about it, my boyfriend and I ended things about a year ago.I had a really really hard time moving on, and I still am not fully recovered, AT ALL. We tried to be friends but it didn't work out because I was having a harder time healing so that made us drift apart, even further. In addition to the fact that during the time we were falling apart, his ex girlfriend suddenly became popular and beautiful and loved and attractive and the center of all attention, including his.I had to deal with the stress of medical school and a broken heart and low self esteem issues. And then to add to the stress, I found out they were back together. And now her friends and her are starting this immature "bullying" rampage against me, which he knows about but refuses to do anything to fix the situation or to stop her because he doesn't want to upset her. They call me at least twice a week to threaten me. They spread rumors about me and made so many people, who barely know me, hate me. Thing is I'm really sensitive and I've always been a really loved person and I've never hurt anyone so it's so hard for me to deal with so much hate. I feel betrayed by him. I feel stressed and I don't know how to pick myself up. My self-esteem is really low. I feel unwanted. My grades are falling because I can't bring myself to study or work on anything. I just curl into a ball, every day and cry.I used to have it all. Perfect grades perfect life perfect everything. And I know so many people have it so much worse but I'd like some help or any word of advice on how to tackle such situations :(
We will tackle the self-esteem problem in a moment. First I want to address the threats as fixing this will go along way to fixing your problem with self-esteem.
Making threats towards you is not only childish for someone of their probable age; depending on the type of threats it is also illegal. The legal definition of assault is when someone threatens to do you harm and is capable of doing so. It matters not what their intent is. As you say they are bullying you and in so doing threatening you. What the law sees is the threat and the ability to do so. This is now a felony assault charge and you should report this to the police.
If she or they are foolish enough to so over the phone use your caller ID and do not answer when she or they call. Force them to harass you by leaving you messages. These messages then can be played to the police to back up you charge of assault. Bullying is also illegal in many states although it is generally aimed at public school students.
I can see where everything is piling up on you and how this can be effecting you. You have come to far to fail now. It is time for the doctor to heal thy self. To do so I recommend you take advantage of the psychological counseling service your school should have to offer before you fall into a depressive state. Right now I believe you need someone to vent to. Someone that can help you put things in the right prospective. Someone who will support you as you deal with the police and the legal system in punishing these people. This is what psychological services is all about.
These people who are harassing and threatening you are of adult age though they are acting more like high school students. It is time someone gave them a wake up call and let reality hit them in the face. You just cannot go around threatening people or harassing them for your personal enjoyment or agenda and they will learn this the hard way if you will do just one thing. Pick up the phone and dial 911. Make a police report and as I said do not take their calls force them to leave messages then play them for the police.
My skin is very temperamental I have used so many acne face washes I'm currently am using proactive and have been for the last 6 months. The main problematic area is my cheeks. The pimples I get there and so aggressive and stubbourn. They are very red and Are big They stay there for a week and they leave scars on my face that I cannot get rid of. I eat quite healthy and I wash my face every night with proactive. The pimples are really embarrassing they really let my self etsteem down. I'm 16 years old and a female
If over the counter medications are not working then you should probably consult a dermatologist. If you decide to do so make sure you see a Board Certified Dermatologist.
Most states will allow a doctor to practice a specialty if the have done a rotation in that specialty during their residency. A Board Certified Specialist is one who has gone through a year of extra training in a Fellowship in that Specialty and has passed all the tests and requirements to be Certified in that Specialty.
Your family doctor is trained to handle routine things. Your acne sounds like it is past routine and needs a specialist. There are two ways to find a Board Certified Specialist. The first is to call the local hospital referral line and ask for one. The other is to call the State Department of Medical Licensing or go on their Website and find one.
If your parents have medical insurance. Most insurance companies will cover treatment for acne. You can call the number on the back of the insurance card to find out if you will be covered for this care.
I'm a 14 year old girl so obviously I'm old enough that I know a good amount of curse words (though I generally don't use them of course) and about sex and everything (I don't have sex of course) from health class. My parents think that I'm so innocent though and they try to shelter me! I learned a lot from health class, friends, and experience but they think that I don't know anything. I haven't even gotten "the talk" yet and learned to take care of my period myself. I just feel like they don't know me.
I have to agree with Razhie. The world changes so fast today, much faster then when we were your age. Forgive us if we want to keep our children young and innocent for as long as possible. That being said I realize some parents do take this a little to far thinking that by keeping things from them they are keeping them innocent. As a general rule this will come back at them in the wrong manner as the child grows older.
You seem to have a good handle on right and wrong regardless of the fact your parents are trying to keep you young and innocent. It is not that they don't know you, I'm certain that they do. They are trying to ignore the facts in front of them and so doing feel they can keep you as they wish too. This is wrong in my book though they are your parents and they must raise you as they see fit.
For your part until you are 18 and legally an adult there is not a lot you can do to change things. What I can suggest is that possibly you ask mom for some you and her time. Maybe lunch or a shopping trip at the mall. Someplace where you two can sit quietly for aa few moments and you can explain the facts of life as they are to you. How what she and your dad are attempting to do is not protecting you or keeping you innocent but quite the opposite.
I can't promise this will change anything between you and your parents. You will have least tried to advise them that the world around you is changing. One other alternative if mom does not accept what you tell her is to speak with an Aunt or Uncle who she is close to and trusts and who understands what the world is like for teenagers.
Whatever the outcome is please stay respectful to your parents for I know they have only your best interest at heart. I know you don't see that I am asking you to take this on blind faith as this is the truth for most all parents. When you turn 18 then you can do as you please and be in control of your own life.
What would you do in this situation. You ate pregnant with a son due in a week and a half and your boyfriend and you've had heck choosing a name. You like Blake Thomas (Thomas ia after a relative) and he likes Preston Tate (Tate is after himself). The ONLY reason he wants Preston is because he wants the baby named after himself and he doesn't think Blake Tate sounds good.
You came up with an idea for how to decide once and for all what name you'd use. You wrote each of the names down on a piece of paper and had your six year old daughter draw one. The deal was that whichever name she drew was the name you'd use and whoever lost couldn't demand their way any longer.
Your daughter drew Blake, but as soon as she did, your boyfriend said that he still wanted Preston and didn't want Blake. He's insisting to everyone that the baby's name will be Preston and even told his mother to embroider Preston on the baby's Christmas stocking.
All of this is happening because he wants the baby named after himself. You feel that although it was different in the past when it happened a lot more, it's a little arrogant to name a child after yourself. Especially to a degree where you try to steamroll the other parent about the whole name. You feel that it's much more honorable and respectable to name him after a relative.
Any advice?
Whoa; this is one of those discussions that no matter which side we weigh in on we will be wrong. Instead I think I will stick with the legal side of things.
You right HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND. If you and the father are not married then in most states the baby will carry your last name. You will be the legal parent and guardian of the child. While your husband/boyfriend may be willing to share the support of this child you should see a lawyer about formalizing the child support with orders from the court.
That being said the naming of the child is yours to do. Since the child will carry your last name, even though the fathers name may appear on the birth certificate, you are the one that gets to name the child legally.
My suggestion is you check my advice with a lawyer to see if what I understand as the laws in my state are the same in your state. If so you should act accordingly as you wish.