NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: Hi. I'm not sure if this question should go under this topic or not. But anyways, I'm 13/f and never been kissed. (yeah, I know yall are laughing) I heard that usually on your first kiss that you end up kissing the guys nose/face/ect. anyone have any tips so that won't happen to me? Cause that would be really embarresing. (sorry its such a dumb question)

Don't worry about a weird first kiss... mine was terrible! But it really meant something to me, and I still think of it as the sweetest kiss I ever had.

Just relax and let it happen, make sure your teeth don't get in the way, because that can really hurt. Don't be too wet and sloppy, and you're good to go!

Q: what do you talk about with your friends or your crush? Im at a loss b/c im not that interesting but im not mean or anything either. what can i do to change this?

Talk about anything... controversial topics are always good. It gives you a chance to share your opinions and makes you look like the interesting person you are! Also, it will show your crush how smart and engaging you are :)

Q: I had oral sex with my bf where he has played on with his figers, and it now i have missed out my periods the last time i had periods is on 3/04/06.
what i am worried about is i had an injuction by which i must get the periods in one hour after i had but its already 38 hours. i am very tensed on that help me out plz

I would like to correct the person below me.

You can get pregnant after oral sex, if semen produced comes into contact with the vulva.

You should try to see a doctor to be sure, though!

Q: when you ride a roller coaster or when you are riding in a car and you go down a hill really fast...you get a weird feeling, like your stomic moves or somthing....does your stomic really move? or why do you get that feeling?...i'll rate high for this one

What's happening is inertia at work. Inertia is the 'inherent laziness' of objects; they won't move unless force is applied to them.

What happens with a roller coaster is your body is moving, but your internal organs are inclined, because of inertia, to remain at the top of the hill. Because they are attached and contained within you, your organs stay with you, but you get that weird feeling.

Q: what is the range of normal weight for a 14 year old, around 5'2''? dont give me am-i-fat.com or a doctors opinion i want your opinion of what looks good =] thanks i will give 5s!

Try not putting a number on weight, since it's really not a good measure of health.

What I would do instead (and what I do now) is go by appearances. I am heavily active and do weight-training, so I have a lot of muscle, which weighs a lot. Pretty much, according to BMI, I should be obese, which I'm not.

Don't go by what "the norm" is, because it's different for everyone based on what their activity level is and what kind of build they have.

Q: Do girls masturbate, because it seems like1 out of every 15 do. So if I was wondering if girls get grossed out by guys and or girls masturbating. I feel like asking my gf if she ever has [out of curiosity] but idk how...or is that too personal?

1 out of every 15? It's got to be more than that!

A lot of girls feel that it is taboo, and will not discuss masturbation or admit to it... but it really all depends on the girl.

If she's comfortable with sharing very personal information with you, then she likely won't mind you asking.

But yes, girls DO partake in solo pleasure.

Q: Me and my boyfriend has sex for the first time yesterday and a few things went wrong.. It was both our first times so we wern't exactly sure what to expect, when he first pushed inside me I experienced a bit of of pain which felt like pressure which I expect is normal as it would have been stretching me out? But then when we tried to get into a rhythmic motion there was no "good feeling" it felt like I was being prodded for a while but eventually just felt.. nothing really.. perhaps we didn't give it long enough for a 'good feeling' to kick in or could nerves/anxieties have played a part? we were in missionary position so we switched so I was on top but again it made no difference, alot of times he kept falling out of me which he was embarassed about because he claims his penis is smaller then average size. But also another thing that was worrying was his penis kept hitting something inside me, as he pushed past/against it it felt like he was pushing against an eardrum? My first thought was cervix but he reckons he was pushing past it from the side, should I be worried about this or could it be possible he was hitting something such as my gspot from the wrong angle? Also I can't see how this could be my hymen as I would have broken that ages ago when I started using tampons.

Would really appreciate any feedback, we are both 17 and feel we need some clarification on what went wrong, thankyou in advance for your time.

Because so much emphasis is placed on having sex, everyone fails to mention that your first time ususally doesn't leave you seeing stars. It can be awkward, and just not downright pleasurable.

When it comes to not feeling anything, you won't feel a whole lot, since there are very few nerve endings inside the vagina. Try using some manual clitoral stimulation to help that good feeling along.

Him falling out is perfectly normal! You're not quite used to the angles that you need to be at in order to make a position work. As you explore sex and each other, you'll find angles that work for you.

The thing he might have been pushing against is likely your cervix; if it feels kind of weird, try using lots of foreplay to get you really ready, because being aroused lengthens the vagina.

Keep at it! It'll start to feel better once you relax and get to know one another better.

:)

Q: First of all, I am fifteen years old and will be getting my intermediate license in three months- therefore, I need to buy a car so that I won't have to ride the bus next year to school. In order to buy a car, I of course, need cash. The problem is- I can't find a job. Everywhere that I try to apply, the minimum age limit is sixteen. Does anyone have any ideas about what I could do for money? Please, no ideas including babysitting and cleaning- because I already do both of those. I would very much appreciate the advice, and I will give you a five for good advice.

What's so terrible about taking the bus? It's environmentally sound, much less expensive than car ownership, maintenance and fuel, and it's much more stress and responsibility free!

I'm 18 years old, and I don't have a car; I rode the bus to work, school and extracurriculars all throughout high school, and I'm still doing that in university!

If you're having trouble coming up with the money to buy a car, remember it's an ongoing expense, what with insurance, gas, and upkeep.

Q: Ok so i was wondering is it better to eat/drink dairy products when you're on a diet or not?

Also, im somewhat large chested, and i was wondering what can i do to keep from hurting when i run. I wear a sports bra sometimes but that doesn't help. Ive also tried it with a regular bra. But that doesnt help either..so does anyone know of anything i can do? its alwasy miserable the day after i run.

thanks, 5s to all who answer seriously

Some people really don't know what they're talking about!

It is proven that low-fat dairy products help you to lose weight, as well as providing essential nutrients. Don't listen to people who tell you to omit an important food group!

As for the running, I have exactly the same problem... I usually end up wearing TWO bras... a regular one with a sports bra on top. It keeps me more in control, but I find it's nearly impossible to keep from bouncing :\

Q: okayy, i am basically in my young teenage period of my life. i have been sexually active for only about a year now, though. me and my boyfriend have been having a lot of problems lately, though. last night we just stopped to take a break from everything, though. i am having a lot of trouble with this though because i am use to seeing him everyday, we are always together. we have been having unprotected sex, and i am getting nervous that i am pregnant. sometimes, we have sex up to 10 times a day. && lately he has been pulling out and then going right back in. my period is not expected until this sunday, but i am really nervous. i know people don`t usually get signs this early, but is it possible?? lately i haven`t been able to sleep or eat right, i am very emotional, i have been urinating a lot, i have had very bad discharges, and i have been experiencing bloading and cramps severly. is there anyway this could be signs of pregnancy? or do you just think i am overreacting to this whole thing??

Silly question... why are you having unprotected sex? You should ALWAYS use at least one type of birth control, if not two or more! I personally combine the pill with spermicidal condoms.

It is quite possible that you are pregnant, and if you are not now, you could be later.

Remember that the effects of pregnancy last forever, and you don't want to ruin your life at a young age; protect yourself!

(I know, I know, I sound incredibly preachy, but it's for your own good!)

Q: my friend is a really light drinker. well lately she has been drinking alot. for the past 4 nights she has gotten really drunk. well last night, she began puking and got really sick. im really worried about her. she tells me not to let her drink that much but when she is drunk there is no way of taking a beer from her. what should i do?

I have to disagree VERY strongly with the person right below me. As her friend, it is your responsibility to make sure that nothing happens to her! I know it entirely sucks having to babysit, but since coming to university I've dealt with a lot of drunk friends and even stayed with a friend who had alcohol poisoning and had to go to the hospital.

Here's the best way to deal with a drunk person:

First of all, NEVER tell them they're drunk, because they WILL refute it to the death. I know. But act like she's sober, and like you're not babying her, because she'll be more likely to listen to you if you're not.

Secondly, if they're drunk enough, lie to them! I know, I know, honesty is the best policy... but drunk people are like children, and if you have to tell them a little white lie to get them to stop doing something, then it's the right thing to do. For instance, a drunken friend of mine was skipping down the road and falling... so my other friend told him to stop and save his energy for the "skipping contest" the next day. I know, sounds stupid, but to the intoxicated it makes PERFECT sense.

Good luck, and it's great that you're being a responsible friend.

Q: I have many issues when it comes to my weight. I'm 15..16 next month, 5 ft 4 in tall, and weigh 120 lbs....i guess that's a reasonable amount...the problem is i think i'm fat...my friends are like pencils and i feel fat around them...i don't really think i'm fat when it comes to my stomach, it's just that i have huge hips. Does anyone know how to make your hips smaller! ex: any exercise techneques, that would be awesome!!!

I know how it feels to feel big next to your friends, but the teen years are difficult that way.

Your friends are all 'pencils' because they haven't matured physically. You're just a little ahead of the game! There's nothing wrong with having big hips, it means you're more of a woman :)

There's really nothing that can be done to reduce your hip size, but try thinking about it as you're lucky :D

Q: okay well, there is this kid i kno who liked me first and then i started liking him, and he is so sweet. But, he has a g/f. My friend asked him if he liked me and he said yes and she said well don't you have a g/f. He responded "yeah but we are planing on breaking up but i want her to break up wit me becuase her dad is the coach of the football team, and I don't want him to hate me". So my friend said "yeah but i know how you are too(meaning that he is a very sextual person)and renee isn't like that she won't let you have it that easily." which im not im not reeally that sextual toward a guy .. Anyway so he said"yeah but i can be pretty persuasive." so you see my questions are as follows
-do you think i should back off and totally
ignore him till i get over him(which would be
really hard becuase i like him sooo much i never
liked a guy like this before)so i don't get hurt?

-do you think he only wants me for _ _ _?

-should i keep liking him or would that be wrong?

-and if you think i keep liking him if i will get hurt?

Thank you so much if you can help im so confused i can't consentrate in school cuz i like him so much i can't sleep cuz i think bout him all night. I don't know what to do PLEASE HELP. by the way im a 15 year old female in high school

It sounds to me like this guy is a jerk, and only wants you around for the conquest factor. He wants to think of you as something he conquered.

And a hint... if you can't even type the word sex (I'm assuming this based upon your use of _ _ _ ) then you're definitely not ready for the sort of relationship a guy like this wants.

Do yourself a huge favour and don't keep 'liking' him, be friends with him at most. You won't get hurt that way.

Always remember, NO boy is worth messing up school for!

Q: what do you call the dip in the middle of your back? like how the back slightly caves in vertically at the bottom

Most people call it "the small of your back", if I understand correctly what you are talking about.

Q: I've finally decided where to go to college next year. I cancelled the housing/dorm form since I figured I could live with my sister in her apartment right by the school. I thought this would be great since the dorms at the school are notoriously crazy and that's not me at all.

Yet, now I'm having second thoughts. I already have a boyfriend, so I'm not worried about finding a 'hot guy' to hook up with or anything, but asside from classes, will I meet as many people? Would I be missing out on basic college experiences if I don't live in a dorm?

I'm currently finishing out my first year in my residence at university and it's been amazing! I know it's a little rowdy at times, but it gives you a chance to meet a lot of new people, make a ton of friends, and live with people who are taking the same courses as you, so they can help you out with any difficulties.

I have friends who stayed off-campus this past year, and they've said to me that they wish they had stayed in residence their first year.

I would definitely suggest living on-campus if you like to live in a very social environment.

Q: Please dont be offended by this, it's something i have been wondering about, it sounds discusting (and it is) but i think it must have happend.

Did God only create Adam and Eve or did he make other humans too?

I ask, because if it was only up to them to populate the earth hen surely incest must have taken place :-s

Adam and eve could have lots of children but then when they died there would have just been brothers and sisters left so that means that they wuld have had to make babies with eachother to make more people.

Is that what happend? i know it wasnt illegal back then but it's just so icky.
i know its a wierd question to ask but no one else ever talks about how people were made.

Well the person below me was a little mistaken; the reason why inter-familial breeding is bad is because genetic flaws and mutations are amplified as the generations progress. They won't all be "retards".

Personally, I'm an evolutionist, because creationism really doesn't make sense; if there were only two original humans, why do we all look different? Why are there different races?

I agree with you though, anyone who puts real thought into it realizes that, disgustingly, the earth was populated through incest!

Q: Ok, me and my boyfriend almost had anal the other night. We're both curious about it and might even try it. Does anyone have any advice on anal. I always said I would never do it, but I also said I would never have sex before marraige. Any advice to give me on anal?

My boyfriend and I had anal for the first time a couple nights ago... I was in the same situation, I said I wasn't going to do it, but I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt.

Go slowly, and use lots of lubrication! Make sure that you are both communicating; if something hurts, let him know.

I personally wasn't a huge fan, but it was a fun new experience, so give it a try! Good luck!

Q: I'm 5'8, 155 pounds (I've lost 5 so far!) and I use my treadmill daily. I go on for 30 minutes, at 4 miles/hour, no incline. How many calories will I be losing at this pace? I've been to many sites, and they each give me a different reading.

Definitely try to do the incline; I love it, because it helps you to lose extra calories and tone up with the same amount of walking!

Good luck!

Q: well i have this problem..i really hate myself i think i'm stupid fat and totally ugly! my mom always tells me i'm not and i'm soooo pretty but i think she's just saying that cause she's my mom! and well a lot of grown up's are also telling me i'm the most pretty girl the've ever seen but in my school people always tell me i'm ugly except my best friend but i think she's also just saying that cause she's my friend! and i really dont get it .. all the grown up people think i'm soo pretty and they tell me that when im not even asking! but in school everybody says im ugly and everytime i look in the mirrow i start crying! i dont know whats wrong with me! i wanna like me but i really hate me! can anybody tell me how i get myself to like me again? please!!!!! i'll rate high for good advice

In elementary/high school, people are superficial jerks. If you're not one of the 'beautiful' clones, then you're ridiculed! This is precisely why I wasn't a fan of high school.

It's not right to hate yourself because of your appearance. There's so much more to a person BENEATH the skin. There are a lot of beautiful people who should hate themselves, because they're not nice people, and a lot of so-called ugly people who are truly beautiful because they have amazing personalities. I know it sounds corny, but it's true; beauty fades, an ugly personality is forever.

You know what? I'll admit that I'm unattractive. I'm quite possibly downright ugly! But you know what? I've learned not to care, because I know that my personality overtakes my appearances by a long shot!

Just remember that it's what's inside that really counts, because it's true!

Q: You know what?I lose wheight when i starve.But then i become again like before.I am not fat but i want to become skinny.Too slim...That is my aim but i end up eating like before again because i have problems with my periods or because i feel dizzy.But i start again stop eating for five days.I lose pounds(5 pounds) but then i eat again.I know that this is not healthy but i fed up!Those HEALTHY diets are really annoying because you lose those ... pounds after three months.Summer is hear and i CANNOT manage being perfect!!!Please tell me what should i do?I have visited a nutritionist but he told me just to eat healthy because i am ok.But i don't feel ok...Please tell me,should i start starving again???Emily...

I think I'd start off by suggesting that you see a counsellor. You make mention of "being perfect", but perfection isn't necessarily what you see in magazines. Once you've got a healthy idea of self-image, then you'll be ready to decide what to do.

Starvation will actually cause you to gain more weight, since your body goes into survival mode and starts to absorb every calorie consumed and put it into adipose fat reserves.

Have you tried a healthy diet and exercise? It may work slower, but it doesn't have the nasty side effects that a starvation diet has, plus it makes you feel great! Skinny isn't everything... if you're toned, you'll look even better.

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My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.