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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i want to kill my self and i need to know what kinds of pills to take and how many

You have come to the wrong place for help with this question. we will not help you die; we will however help you live. Suicide is not an answer or a solution to whatever is bothering you.

I know this for I have been where you are today. Whatever is troubling you has made you so depressed the only answer you see is dying. Wrong answer; there are solutions for every problem if you ask for help. We will help you; I will help you and the hot lines I am going to give you will help you.

I reached out for help and I came back from the edge; you can too. You can write me a private message that only I and the webmaster can see and I will do my best to help you find a solution to whatever is bothering you or you can call the hot lines I am going to give you. The calls are free, confidential and open 24/7 365.

IF you are feeling suicidal at this time please call 911 or the emergency number for where you live and help will be sent to you. There are a great many people who want to help you all you need to do is give them half a chance by asking for help. Dying fixes nothing and hurts the loved ones you leave behind for they will not understand why you did this.

Kids Help Phone - For people under 20: 1-800-668-6868.
http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/Home.aspx

National Suicide Prevention Life Line: 1-800-273-8255.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Both Hot lines are staffed by trained volunteers who will work with you to find people in your home town to help with whatever your problem is. Please call them as I have found out there are no problems that there is not solution for.

Hello, I've last had sex on the second to last day of my period, November 15. You may say gross, but the last few days I am very, very light that it's barely there. That was almost three weeks ago. I am not on the pill but he wore a condom and he didn't even finish because he told me that he didn't trust the condom, so he took it off and that was the end. I didn't really think much of it, I can't be pregnant if he didn't finish and he wore a condom but yesterday, I was leaning over my dresser to get pants out to wear and my back got a terrible pain in it, my lower back to be exact. I took ibuprofen and it didn't help at all. I fell asleep, I woke up and it was still sore but not as bad as the day before. Now, to alleviate pain, I bend down to get things but the knees and not just bend over. I know it's silly but in my mind, I'm linking the two that an early sign of pregnancy is lower back pain. I haven't gained weight though, I haven't really had mood swings, they say increased body temperature is another sign but I've been pretty cold lately and not warm, so I really have no other "early symptoms" but in my hypochondriac mind, I'm worried about my back pain. I am scheduled to get my period in three days, if I didn't already say that. So, if you don't think my back pain is related to that.. can you take a gander as to what it is related to? I really have no other symptoms of feeling sick either, so I don't really think I'm coming down with anything. Thanks for any help!
20/f

You are probably not pregnant, though you should be on the pill as it is the best form of contraceptive. At 20 you certainly do not need parental permission and you are entitled as an adult to a sex life.

Back pain is very common to the human animal as we were never meant to walk upright. It does not take much to cause a muscle injury. Leaning over as you were and then standing erect as you might do a hundreds of times but this one time you did it a bit different is all it takes.

As to the possibility you are pregnant. The chances are 85% to 15 % you are not pregnant.

Here is why the odds are this way. About 85% of women are most fertile between the 7th and the 21st day of their cycle. This is when they ovulate. IN 15% of women they can ovulate at any time during their cycle including during their period.

Having had sex during your period your chances are 85% you're not pregnant. This are increased by the fact he wore a condom. Just how much so I can't say as their is not statistic available other than a condom is only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. If none of his precum, which he emits without knowledge, escaped the condom then as long as you are not part of the 15% who are fertile at any time during their cycle; the chances are you are not pregnant.

If you do not know when you ovulate then being on the bill which is 98 to 99 percent effective with the man wearing a condom as well the chances of not getting pregnant become 99.999 percent.

Your partner should always wear a condom as they prevent many STDS from being transferred and the protect against the HIV/AIDS virus. Practicing safe sex until you are in a long term monogamous relationship is the safest course of action to remain healthy.

i am 13 and do not have a girl friend and i am going to die if i do not touch a girls boobs soon is there anyone i can see

from england

This is not a dating site, this is true. Also true is you will not die if you do not touch a girls Breasts, which is the proper term for a women's boobs.

You're 13 just starting into puberty. Given time you will reach the point where a girl will allow you to touch her in different placed on her body. At the moment both you and the girls you may be hanging out with are too young to anything more than maybe kissing.

For some girls they are just know getting comfortable with the changes that have taken place with their bodies. They have gone from being little girls to young ladies. They need to get comfortable with their bodies before they allow a boy to touch them in places they are being told never to let a boy touch them.

As they get older and more comfortable with themselves things will change. What will not change is allowing a lustful young man to touch them. They will have to be comfortable with you and feel there is a loving relationship with you and she before you ever get to what is called first base; touching her breasts.

So my husband and I are both students that also work. We decided to move in with one of my husband's coworkers (We have become extremely close, almost like family) to save money on rent. My husband and him are both in the military. A couple months ago, the police came and raided the house, because they had proof that somebody in the house was watching/downloading child pornography. Basically they searched every inch of the house and all the electronics, and found over 10 videos of child pornography on our roommate's computer downloaded from lime wire and he went to jail for a couple weeks then bailed out. While he was in jail, we got our own place. With my husband being in the service, and I in nursing school, we thought it was best. Well now he is home and awaiting his trial, and he is incredibly depressed. He does not have any family here and all of his friends have abandoned him because they heard why he was in jail. My husband wants nothing to do with him. He has been wanting to hang out with us because he is lonely and depressed, but my husband does not want to see him at all and is angry about everything. I am having a hard time, because I feel like it is unfair for us to be treating him differently, because he hasn't been proven guilty of anything. I still want to believe that it was an accident, because I love him. He is a really great guy. Not a person that has met him doesn't like him. Don't get me wrong, child pornography is disgusting and if I find out that he indeed watched it, I want nothing to do with him. But, is it right that we keep ignoring him, or should I be there for him during this terrible time in his life?? Note that my husband would probably be pissed that I spent time with him.. I am really struggling with this. Sorry for the long post..

Thanks

You are right in that you should never abandon someone you have grown close to even if he is proven guilty. In this instance though your husband being in the military does not have the rights you have as a civilian. He can be looked at as guilty by association for supporting his friend. The Uniform Military Code of Justice is not like the laws you live under.

While it is said that under the UCMJ a member of the Military is innocent until proven guilty; many times the person has to prove their innocence as they are deemed guilty before trial in the eyes of the Board of Courts Martial. This would be one of those times.

I know it is unfair to you and to your friend. When it comes to something like this many will see you as guilty by association because of what he is charged with. In essence if he was an ax murder it would be easier to remain his friend than now with the fact that child porn was found on his computer.

As hard and as harsh as this may sound, for the good of your husbands career, if the military is his career, you must sever your relationship with your friend until after the trial.

I am a girl/23...i was always compared with my cousin sisters and always neglected and was treated ignored by all relatives and my parents..according to them I am just nothing...have no qualities in me...so I needed to prove myself at every point of my life...but then I realized that its my life and I should live it as I wish...no matter how people think about me and what they talk behind my back..so I cut them all from my life and made myself aloof...but my mom and dad till irritate me by calling or texting what anyone tells to them what my relatives might have thought about me and how they neglect me...really I got so tired with this...but my parents don't stop doing this...am just disturbed and lost my inner peace...what should I do as I can't go away from my parents and 24x7x365 they tell me what any jealous relative or friend is or might be talking about me to others at my back...am fade up trying making them understand what I actually feel about it..but they don't stop..what am supposed to do?

Here is my motto on life. "The only person I have to be better than is the person I am today"

What this means is I don't care what other people think of me. I know what I am capable of and I have been successful at what I do all my working life. I have been in Sales and Marketing where the almighty sale is the marker of successes.

I've never worried about making sales, though this is how my success is measure by my employer. My concern was being a better person tomorrow than the one I am today. This meant I need to learn, to grow as a person. What I learned or what I wanted to learn was anything that would help me grow as a person or would help me help my customers. This motto has stood me well for over 40 years. I'm retired now and I still look to learn something new to grow each and every day.

I tell you this for I too was once in your position where family and friends would say I would never be successful. Success is measured in many different ways. I am not rich but we are comfortable. I have been able to give my son a good start in life and he is well on his way to meeting his goals in life. This is the measurement of success. Are you happy with who you are?

If the answer is yes then tell all others to keep their opinions to themselves as you are not interested. This includes your parents. Yes mom will get upset not because you told her you don't want to hear it and if she does start telling you these things you will either hang up or leave. It is because she is hurt by what she hears from her friends and relatives. Tell her to tell her friends and relatives to keep their opinions to themselves. That you are happy with your life and as my motto says you strive daily to better yourself by learning new things. This is all any parent, aunt or Uncle can ask of a child, niece or nephew.

I've had diarrhea for four days, should I seek medical help?

Dragonflymagic is correct, dehydration is a big problem with diarrhea. Dehydration also causes an Electrolyte imbalance which will cause many other problems from Kidney failure to Heart Failure if not correct. Sever diarrhea is and can be cause for hospitalization.

Mostly though over the counter remedies will work along with a diet of liquids first, thin adding rice to soups and moving up to mashed potatoes and easily digested food. Bananas' are very good for both helping with stopping the diarrhea and helping supply some of the electrolytes' lost.

Most important though given that it is four days is to call your doctors office and see if they want you to come in or if they give you instructions to follow first.

I am a very successful woman in her 30's. I have happened to fall in love with a younger man, who's never been in a long-term relationship (long story). We do have conflicts, and my biggest problem is that he immediately escalates into defensiveness and being abrasive. I've tried all kinds of approaches, but I think I may have finally found the reason - his and mine understanding of respect and kindness are really far apart.

I've tried to explain to him today that telling me to "drop it" is not acceptable in a conversation (in lieu of "are we all good? let's move on" or "if we're done, let's change the subject). He also doesn't think that telling me to "get over it" after something he's done that hurt my feelings (granted, it wasn't a huge problem, but it did bother me). He's also prone to raising his voice - a lot. Yes, we have talked about this, many times. Things get better for a bit, then go right back to this. And I honestly think he just does not understand that what comes out of his mouth is inappropriate. At the end of our argument, he said I guess you are like a dog, you sure bark like one (when I went off about how is it that you he can't understand that giving me an order to "drop it" is not alright; I'm not a dog).

Anyway, I've tried explaining this, I've tried communicating that this kind of language is hurtful, I'm at a loss. He feels that I'm absurd and that it's really not a big deal. So, either I'm nuts, or he's a total ***. ?

I agree for the most part with what missundersmock wrote. I'll ask the same question she did in a different manner. Is the age difference between you one that might qualify you as either and MILF or Cougar in todays young persons parlance.

If so the problem is not so much one of disrespect but one of a generational language gap. To today's twenty something's this is the language they grew up with. To them it is not disrespectful it is just how it is. It may not be what they were taught in school either but how they talked to each other.

You say you are a successful woman in her thirties. With him in his twenties and him seeing you as either and MILF or Cougar is it possible that he is a budding Gigolo. Something I think you need to consider.

I do agree if he is actually in love with you and not a budding gigolo, as I suspect could be possible, he should make an effort to please you. It is not hard to update his communication skill as it is what he was taught in school.

I'm not trying to ruin the romance for you but I do feel it is appropriate and my purpose in answering you to point out what love may be blinding you too. Gigolos will go for the money and the object of their affection can be rich and beautiful or not so beautiful and rich. It is the money they are after and the papering the person with the money can provide.

I can tell from what you have written you are a very warm and loving person. You are not nuts! He on the other hand may be taking advantage of you I can't really say. I am an outsider looking in at something with very little information. Please take a fresh look at this relationship and make sure he is not taking advantage of you.

22/F boyfriend 23

So I am going to start off saying my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We don't get into big arguments and if we do its because I am so stubborn. we do not live together because I live at home and he has his own place. I am over thr every weekend and pretty much every day. So on Saturday my boyfriend told me he as going into town with his friends for a reunion party. I tell him ok have fun. I went out with my friends and went to his house at the end of the night. He never came home. I was being a crazy lady asking him where he was and when he would be home never answered me. The next morning I am texting all of his friends who he was with because I was worried. I was also really worried because about 3 months ago when he never came home he ended up in a motorcycle accident and was lucky to be alive. So I was kinda having flashbags from that night. Anyway I find out from a friend they stayed the night and got a hotel. Which was fine because I rather him not drive drunk. I am upset because I never got one text until mid morning. I confronted him and he told me that he didn't know I was going to his house so he didn't know I was going to be there. Somehow blamed it on me. Now it's a couple days later he never apologized and I have been kinda sad about it. He was at work today and I decoded I would make dinner for him because I haven't seen him. I spend 50.00 on groceries come over and I said what do you want to eat? He gives some face and I'm like what and he's like don't bother. And I was like why I just went shopping? And he's like my friend is coming over and we are ordering take out. Like I haven't seen him in 3 days and I am sad he doesn't want to spend time with me. What did I do? Am I bekng super dramatic. I was crying and I told him I wanted to spend time with him and he said that "I have been doing my thing and he's been doing his thing" it's been like 5 days... I don't understand. So now I sitting in his room while he is playing video games with his friend. I'm just really sad thank you for everyone who took the time to read this.

The biggest problem here is a lack of communication. Not just that he failed to keep you informed of where he was that Saturday but where you both feel you are in this relationship.

It would help to know a little bit more about how you two met. If you met in college or at work, or if either one of you have been to college would also be helpful? The reason for these questions is that it gives insight to the maturity levels of the two of you; especially the male member of the problem.

Simply put the female of our species is up to a certain age is always going to be 2 years or older by maturity than the male. A male who has attended and graduated college will close this gap faster than one who has not.

The fact that your boyfriend wanted to spend some time with his male friends does not in itself show he is being in mature. Not answering your texts, even being drunk is wrong. Getting drunk is a sign of immaturity as well as a problem with alcohol. If he always drinks to excess which it appears is possible then he may be an alcoholic. An alcoholic is someone who has a problem with drinking and does not have to be someone who gets fallen down drunk every night.

You had every right to be worried and upset given he drove drunk and was almost killed in a motorcycle accident. His not seeing this is a sign of hi immaturity. Instead of distancing himself from you when you confronted him, he should have apologized.

Now I don't know how you confronted him and this could be part of the problem. The fact that he did not you would be at his house is a non-starter. Two people in a loving relationship worry about one another. He should have realized you would worry until he was safely at home in bed with or without you given the fact that he was going out drinking. A considerate and mature lover would have made sure to tell you when the decision to get a hotel room was made. If he was sober enough to make that decision he was sober enough to send a text.

The one and only reason he would have any right to be upset with you at all would be in how you confronted him when he finally came home. Since I wasn't there and you don't say what exactly you said. The only thing I can go on is the word "confront."

To confront someone is the start of an argument or is argumentative or to belittle someone. Depending on what is said. While he owes you a large apology for the worry he caused you. You may owe him an apology for how you confronted him.

This brings us back to communication. For any relationship to be successful there must be open communication between all parties. IF the only communication you two have is what you have in bed together than this relationship will not stand the test of time.

Hello, there. I am a freshman in high school. I am still quite young, but my religious beliefs have been bothering me lately. I have had severe anxiety my whole life; I'd always pray to God, hoping he would help my anxiety decrease, so I would be at ease. However, that has never happened. As time went on, I've lost my faith in God.

To be completely honest, I have not read a bible (It is severely confusing to me), nor been to church. I know very little about christianity, yet I label myself as one. Or I used to...

Anyway, I feel like there is always going to be a small part of me that will believe in God. But I don't know if it's because I'm scared not to (Due to my anxiety). I WANT to 100% believe in God, and I feel like I do, but I have my doubts. Sometimes I just feel like someone could've wrote the bible or something. I want to be fully convinced. I'm scared of the devil though and I'm scared he'll kill me in my sleep or something...

There are people who believe in God, or a higher power as they sometimes put it, but do not believe in any organized religion. These people are called agnostics ; not to be confused with atheists who are people who do not believe in any religion or higher power.

At your age being confused about certain things and questioning many things is normal. It is almost a rite of passage for teenagers your age. You’re in high school now you are allowed to question things and even encouraged to question things. This is an important part of becoming an adult. It should not scare you or cause you anxiety though. If it does you need to see your doctor and let him or her help you with this problem. For if you are too scared to question because of the stress of the anxiety it will cause; the maturity that comes with questioning will be delayed.

I'm sure your parents want you to believe in the religion they have raised you in. As a parent myself I know at some point they will have to understand that you are your own person and will make your own decisions, be they right or wrong they will be yours to make. Here again as parents our job is to be here for you when and if you do make a wrong decision so we can help you get back on track not to criticize for making the wrong decision.

This is something that we as parents usually learn the hard way. It should though not stop you from becoming the person you are destined to be. To follow your own path in life not the one your parents may want or demand of you or anyone else.

Something I learned late in life and adopted as my motto is this. "The only person I need to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today." What that means is if I can learn something new tomorrow that I didn't know today then I am better than I am today. It also doesn't mean I have to learn something new although that is what I strived for. It could mean I did something better than I did today. Feel free to adopt this motto.

My husband and I have been married for 13. He is an amazing man who has always put family before everything (we have two young sons, 4 and 6 years old).

We live nearly 4 hours from my parents (and my side of the family, including my brother and several cousins, aunts, and uncles--grandparents are deceased) and almost 5 hours from his parents (the rest of his family is spread throughout the US and other countries). He and I both grew up very close to family, only minutes away from relatives, and have tons of fond memories of family gatherings, surprise visits, stories, sleepovers, and more...and all I've ever wanted was for my own kids to have the same memories and experiences.

We've been living this distance from family for more than 8 years now because his career relocated us, so earlier this year we discussed taking steps for him to continue his career elsewhere so we may move "back home" within the next two years and our sons can forge the relationship with their grandparents and extended family that we had with ours.

Unfortunately, my husband threw me for a loop this weekend when he confessed he doesn't really want to move...and I just want to cry. He does have a great career with a great company, and he's advancing very well, so I can understand entirely where he's coming from there. But we had already shared our plans with our parents. I know that especially my parents will be crushed, and I haven't the heart to yet break the depressing news to our parents...or our sons.

I just don't know what to do. I was genuinely looking forward to moving, and now I'm so disappointed. And I know we should stay where the money and "security" are, but I believe our sons are missing out on what my husband and I had as kids...all because of money. I also understand that traveling more to see family is another option, but this is getting expensive, means less weekends for us at our own home, and yields constant bickering from family when they argue that it's their turn for a visit (yes, we've been dealing with that for years too). Due to the distance we only see family a few times a year right now...and currently we're being pulled in a few different directions in terms of what our parents and relatives want us to plan to do for Christmas this year, which always adds more stress to the holidays for us.

I know he will do whatever I ask--he has always put me and our sons first--but I also don't want him to then be remorseful towards or upset with me.

I am in such a predicament...

I believe you need to take a more practical approach to this. For one thing two years is a long time and many things could change. To stress out over it not worth while at this time. You also need some at home time to make some family traditions of your own.

My son is all grown living on his own in another state. This is fine he is not all that far away but when holidays come around it is our home and the traditions he grew up on that at the moment he wants to continue. When he marries and has children there will be traditions he and his wife may want to start at home for their family and this will be fine with my wife and me.

We will travel to them when we are able to and your family can travel to you which you do not mention them doing. All the travel, expense and the upheaval is on you and your family. This is not right. If they are able to, from a health standpoint they can come to you once in awhile. If money is a problem then you can offer assistance if you want to.

As I see it see, based on your letter. You are being taken advantaged of if you are doing all the traveling. Roads run in two directions. Stay home this year and invite your parents and anyone else you might want to come to you. See what happens when offer to entertain them.

As for your husband giving up his job to move back home. at this time I have to say that is a bad idea. The job market for good high paying jobs while in recovery is still not back to pre-recession job market. The forecast is for the job market to continue to get better though it will do so slowly and may take another 4 more years or longer.

Now is not a good time to be looking to make a change unless it is absolutely needed. Remember anyone who changes jobs now is the last in. IF the economy tanks again, which is possible, last in, first out. Your husband has a good position where he is, he is moving up in the company. IF you weathered the last recession with this employer unscathed then you can hope to weather the next one should it happen.

My advice put any thought of asking your husband of quitting his job on hold for 18 months. See what the job market is back where you want to live. I have a feeling that at this time it is a combination of liking his job and the security of providing for his family that is on his mind at this time. If the economy changes for the good he may feel better about changing jobs 18 months from now.

Sexually speaking hoe do u knoe if a boy loves u

Sometimes it really depends on your age. Between the ages of 14 and 21 the younger the male is the more likely his love is closer to the definition of lust than the females’ definition of love.

The reason for this is hormonal which goes along with horny. Teenage males are always horny and looking for sex. You could say they are hard wired from the onset of puberty to find any and all kinds of sex to relieve the sexual tension that builds within them. For unlike the female when the male is horny it is quite evident to anyone who sees them.

This does not mean young females should be having sex with young males who say and do anything to get what they want. They will pledge their undying love to you if you will have sex with them. If you say no they say something to the effect of; if you loved me you would have sex with me."

In other words you prove your love by having sex with the. Having sex with someone is not the way you prove your love for them. Sex is the end result of what loves means to two mature adults.

There are other ways of relieving his sexual tension without fear of pregnancy. Masturbation either by himself or with a hand job, or oral sex from a girlfriend; is more than enough to relieve the sexual tension just as fingering or oral sex for a female is enough to relieve sexual tension. No one has ever gotten pregnant from masturbation.

22/f
In an ldr for around 2 months now.My boyfriend is moody..he retreats into his cave.
I last spoke to him day before yesterday and he was all lovey dovey.
And yesterday he didn't reply to my messages and later when I asked him if he's busy, he said he's not but unhappy with his uni.
He moved there 2 months back. Things have been hectic for him I'm assuming.
He skypes often.Usually initiates it all the time.
Talks to me well and all that's there.
I do not like the fact that his mood swings get to me.
I asked him if hes unhappy with the relationship, he said not at all,and he had mood swings last week as well (so I asked him if it was me,he assured it wasn't)
So I dunno if this is a way of signalling that hes donw wit the relationship.
I am totally paranoid when it comes to this.
I asked him "if this changes things between us"
Him : no not the relationship
Me : it eventually would,if you stop talking to me.
Him : I wouldn't stop talking to u,my feelings for you haven't changed
I'm having a bad day.

What am I supposed to assume from this?
I'm confused!:(

Constant mood swings could be a sign of depression. Either clinical depression or bipolar depression. If this is his first time away from home it could also be that on the days he is in a down mood it is day he has too much time on his hands, not enough classes to attend, and is home sick.

Whichever is the case stop asking about how your relationship is going as the problem is probably not your relationship. By doing so you are only causing him more grief. Instead try to get him to go to the health center. He should tell them about his moods swings and how often they occur. They will screen him for depression. Based on the results of the screening I would hope they take the appropriate medical intervention for the diagnosis they arrive at.

Whatever you do, do not suggest to him he is suffering from depression if you do he will fight you on going to Health services. Instead tell him to go to health services for help with the moods swings as it just may be homesickness and they can give him medication to help with that. You're not lying to him as it just may be homesickness.

It does not matter how old he is; many students regardless of how old they are get homesick when they go off to University. One of the reasons the military keeps new recruits busy from morning to night is to ward off homesickness by not giving the recruits time to think about being homesick. Unfortunately schools do not have a way to mimic what the military does as what they offer as a way to keep busy is strictly voluntary.

My friend has been using her facebook for the last week but did not accept my friend reqwest until a week later why did she wate so long is it a girl thing

I agree with the other two Columnist. It also may depend on what device she is using to view Facebook before she notices your request. I know on my phone, and touchpad the requests are at the bottom of the page and can be covered by my thumb. On my tablet depending on if I am looking at it in a landscape or portrait view the tags for requests and conversations are in different places than on my computer.

If I don't look for them I may not see them is what I'm saying. I don't think it was meant to hurt your feelings.

I am a girl and I am 23. I have PCOD sine I was 15. Me n my boyfriend we are having sex since 4years. But I can't reach orgasm during my periods. Why so? And recently I was having intolerable pain in my lower abdomen while having sex. In these 3years I never had this kind of pain. I am worried. Please help.

From what I was able to quickly review on the WEB about PCOD. THe pain in the lower abdomen could be and most likely is a symptom of the PCOD. Not being able to orgasm when on your period is not something to be concerned about to my mind. Many women can't orgasm during that time it is a hormonal thing that is present during your period. I would not be surprised, again based on what I read, that your PCOD is more bothersome at this time.

I'm not a doctor none of us. According to what I read the doctors now believe the are any different reason behind PCOD since the problem is still or can be present even if the Ovaries are removed.

I spent only a few minutes researching on the web to get some insight. There are volumes of information to review to better acquaint yourself with this illness. what I suggest is Start reviewing this information to find out what other doctors are treating this illness as it is cot considered strictly a GYN illness.

IF you need immediate help schedule a visit with your GYN or which ever doctor is currently treating you. But continue to research what doctors are doing to treat this illness. There are many that believe this is hormonal and even some that believes this problem dates all the way back to the womb.

The better informed you are on this illness the more positive of an outcome you will have. Family doctors and even you GYN may only treat the symptoms. You need to educate yourself and advocate for youself with this kind of illness.

I did not see this as being something to be overly worried about, though I can see were it would be painful. For this reason you have to advocate for yourself.

Please help me. I'm currently engaged to a man I've been with for 2 years but I really feel like I'm settling. I'm 20 and we've been engaged since I was 19, I met him at right after I turned 18 so I barely dated.

I feel like I want so much more out of my life and that if we ever get married I'll be settling for less than I dreamed of. Even our engagement although sweet was just "okay" in a discount hotel I paid for followed by a normal day at the beach. He fell asleep during dinner at a Carrabba's, I didn't even get to eat my food. Nobody acted surprised, it wasn't like I imagined where our parents cried out of happiness or where my friends were excited. I loved my ring at first but now I've found out bill collectors are coming after him for the money on it and it makes me sick now because it wasn't even a grand.

We live in a somewhat nice apartment. We struggle with money though even with a roommate. I want to move for better opportunity and he doesn't. Last time we went out of town he told me he didn't have enough money to pay for our dinner and so I had to make an excuse to cancel the order.

This isn't what I want with my life but we've been through a lot together and I do love him but everything is getting so old and I can predict everything he does before he does it. He's sweet to me and he's a good man but everything just feels "okay" there's no romance or whirlwind of emotion. I never feel wowed or amazed. Just okay.

I met a guy a few months ago just for a business dinner and we got along so well. He didn't know I was engaged because it was just business between companies and he didn't know me before. He told me later on how much he liked me though and that he really wanted to see me again. He's recently messaged me again wanting to see me and hoping to get back in contact with me and I think I want to see him too. I know he makes really good money, has a luxury car and a beautiful home. I feel like it would be stupid of me to say no and pass up the chance to a better life seeing as my current situation isn't the best.

Where do I go from here? Should I just go to dinner with him again and see how we both feel before deciding to really break things off with my current S.O.? What do I do? I don't want to throw everything here away if it was just some kind of wonder of something better.

You are not into this engagement. You want material things this man is never going to be able to provide. at least that is the impression I am getting from what you write.

Is it wrong to want material possessions? No, but to base your love for someone or even your interest in someone based on what he has in material possession or can provide you is. Some would say this makes you a high maintenance women.

At 20 I would say you have not been to college. If he has not been to college you have two strikes against you before you even start a life together. Even though the economy is getting better college graduates are taking jobs once reserved for High School Graduates. This leaves few good paying jobs for the high school grad.

My advice is to end the engagement. Go to school and get a degree and gain the maturity college will provide. You also need this time to not just to grow and mature but to use this growth to make a life plan so you can find a man to love who will also fit into your life plan. To marry for materialistic reasons is never a good reason and makes for a rough road in marriage which generally ends in divorce.

Ok so this is really hard for me but I need to get this out

So when I was in months old my parents got a divorce I was a baby so it didn't really affect me right after my dad started dating this girl and I really liked her but they broke up then in 2nd grade my dad again started dating this girl who I hated she was a bitch her kids were brats and she was just horrible my dad was thinking about marrying her this one day she had yelled at me and my older sister when we were doing nothing and my dad had believed her and not his own kids and it came to the place where we actually wanted to live with our mom who wasn't a stable parent she said and I quote "I'll never choose a guy over my kids" so things got better with my dad and then In 6th grade my mom started dating this guy I didn't like he was no good for her and he was/is in prison I tolerated him but I never liked him then we went on a vacation and my mom gave her boyfriend my number because her phone got turned off and he never called all vacation and then when I'm back with my dad he wants to call I ignored the calls but he wouldn't stopped calling I finally answered and I said very nicely that I'm not with my mom and he wouldn't get the memo and he was being really stupid like "just give the phone to her" " I know shes there stop lying" then he got mad and hung up then my mom calls back 10 minutes later and yells at me for having attitude with him and being disrespectful she wouldnt even let me explain she just took his side like she said she would never do if she didn't say that I probably wouldn't have gotten so hurt I didn't see her for months anyway now I'm in 9th grade and both my mom and dad are in good relationships and that's good but idk why but I feel like I'm a good place with my dads girlfriend but my moms boyfriend he's nice and wants to get to know me but I just can't idk why but it scared me to death to actually get to know him and I can't seem to trust my mom as much but my dad and I have one of the best relationships

My question is why can I forgive my dad but not my mom
and how come I can get to know my dads girlfriend and not my moms boyfriend ?

Please answer

This is one of those questions I do not believe any of can actually advise you on. It is however a question that deserves an answer or at least someone to have a one on one conversation with who can help you find these answers.

There is a lot of hurt in your your life and this hurt needs to be dealt with in a proper and professional manner. By this I mean with a psychologist trained to help you find these answers and to help you find the root causes of these problems. There is something deeper here that has to come out before you can go forward and deal with these problems correctly. Not to deal with them properly will cause you problems later in life.

A psychologist is someone you can talk to secure in the knowledge that everything you say and discuss with him or her stays in therapy. Your parents will never be told of anything you say. What the psychologist will do is suggest to them ways in which they can help you and in your case have a better relationship with you. Which would include potential step parents.

If your father has health insurance through work. Ask him for the number of the EAP help line. Then call the and ask them for the name numbers of some psychologists in your area, you can ask specifically for women young if you want. Before you call any of them look them up on the web. Find out how long they have been in practice and the type of practice they have. Then choose which one you want to call first.

It is possible that your first choice in therapist is someone you don't feel comfortable with. Just say so the therapist will help you find another therapist you may be more comfortable talking to. For this to help you the therapist has to be someone you would trust with your deepest secrets.

Don't worry about the cost. The EAP program will pay for a certain amount of visits, something you can ask about when you call. If you need more visits after that your fathers health insurance will cover some of the cost.

I truly believe this is the best way to get the answers to the questions you have posed.

First off, I love my boyfriend (I'm female), he loves me (I think) we've been together 3 years. I was his first, he was my first (we're both 20). We started having sex after 1 year together. Even though neither of us knew what we were really doing, it was great, trying new things, seeing what worked. I used to always like being on top.

Then something changed. I was using my hands to stimulate him and it wasn't working. Tried my mouth a different time, he stopped me. My confidence dropped, I thought I was doing something wrong, he said no I wasn't. I thought he was just shy so I took it as a challenge.

Over time, he doesn't like me doing anything to him anymore. I've asked him to show me how in case I was doing it wrong but he won't. He just makes me orgasm all the time. And sex, I can't help but breathe harder, get hot, moan a bit, you know and genuinely orgasm but his face never changes, he never makes a sound. I never know if he orgasms or not - he occasionally ejaculates but does that mean he orgasms? I stopped going on top cause it was like having sex with someone asleep but he insists he wants me on top.

I want to take control, be sexy. I fantasize about strutting into the room in a skimpy outfit, doing a little dance or something, pushing him back on the bed, straddling him, kissing him all over his body, feeling him with my hands (not even my mouth if he doesn't want me to) and actually see physical signs that he's enjoying it. Am I doing something wrong? I'm so upset, I feel totally useless.

It is not you that I am confident of from what you have written. If a man ejaculates he has orgasmed. Now it is possible for a man to orgasm and not ejaculate. It is something like a mini orgasm you might have.

As to why the change in him I can't say. There are many different things I can think of that might be in play here. Since you were both virgins when you met it is possible that the so called seven year itch has come early. In other worlds he might be wondering what it is like to have sex with someone else. That would be normal and it would not mean his love for you has changed.

He may have sexual fantasies that he may feel you would not approve of. To this You need to talk to him and explain to him you are open to hearing about any fantasy he may have. That anything that takes place in the privacy of the bedroom between the two of you is not weird as long as he does not force you to do something you do not want to do. This is where good communication comes in between you two. Tell him about your fantasy and see how he reacts.

The problem could also be physical and in need of a doctor's intervention. If he is unable to ejaculate each time you make love this could be a problem for him. This could be a physical problem, a problem related to stress or caused by depression. Whatever the reason it is something a doctor can help with. He should not be embarrassed to speak with his doctor about this. Doctors have heard this before and more than what he may be suffering from. Offer to go with him to see his doctor.

If he has trouble getting erect, this something that is very embarrassing for a young man. Erectile dysfunction knows no age boundaries and if almost always correctable. High blood pressure is a general cause or rather the medication for high blood pressure is the biggest cause for erectile dysfunction in otherwise healthy males. If he is on blood pressure medication and this is the problem it is simply a matter of talking to his doctor. Here again he should not be embarrassed as sex is a very large part of our lives.

I hope I have offered some help.

I'm a hairstylist. My boss has been doing hair for 20 years but opened her own salon in March. I've been working in this salon for a little over 5 weeks and I love everything about it but one thing. Her husband will go pick up their 6 and 8 year old kids from school and bring them to the salon. I love kids and I love them, but they DO NOT listen. They fight and whine andante riot me while I'm working on somebody. I think if it was me getting my hair done, I would want it done in a relaxing environment. I'm new to this, and I don't want to overstep my boundaries or hurt feelings but it's getting old quick. Help me!!!

This is a catch 22 type situation. Starting a new business probably means money is tight. This means they probably can't afford after school care for the kids who are too young to be left home alone. The kids are probably also board. It was probably fun to go to moms work at first but that has gotten old.

There is probably not much you can do about it unless you notice that repeat business is not there. Then you have the right to say something to the owner for now it affects your earnings. If the children being there are not affecting your earnings then you can either grin and bear it or think of ways to that might engage the children so they are not bored.

Children of that age have short attention spans. Also at that age are generally very helpful. Maybe there are things they can do like keeping the magazines neat, taking the towels back to the washer or wherever they are kept for the laundry service to pick up. The eight year old might be able to sweep the floor or tidy a work station.

They can be rewarded for their help with a new toy at the end of a week or a favorite snack. Given childhood obesity problems I favor the toy giving as a reward.

These are things you could suggest to your boss. I'm sure she is as aware of the problem as you are but is torn between being a good parent and being a good shop owner and giving good service to her customers.

In short try giving your boss a solution to a problem she is probably well aware of rather than just saying something to her about it. As they saying goes we are sometimes too close to the trees to see the forest.

Hello,

Am writing to ask you all for advice. I met a guy while ago. From the first date I knew he's the one and I felt like he thinks like this too. He treats me like a princess, takes care of me , comes to visit me in my city spends weekends with me. Unfortunately, he came 2 days ago to see me, We went for lovely dinner had few drinks and than he said to me '' I know you have feelings'' I pretend that I dnt know what he's on about but than he said '' i think its the last time we should meet cause u have feelings and I will go to Scotland for 2 years and I do not want u to suffer and i dnt want to suffer , also I am happy single'' than i tried not to cry we went home were lyin in bed than the topic started again. I admitted that ya I do start to have feelings he said that Im better off without him. Was crying all night and he was huging me saying he will miss me and all. In the morning when I woke up was crying again while he was kissing me hugin and than suddenly i saw he was crying too. He said he really likes me and if we continue it his heart will be broken when he leaves, but he still wants to meet me and spend the last few weeks together eventhough it will hurt both of us. Later on he asked me '' would you be happy if I propose to u'' and i just took it as joke but he seemed upset ( but before he said he wants to b single!! ) Since than I dnt know what to do I know he has to go for college and all, but I would like us to be together and I know he has feelings too but just cause he has to go he said it all. Please help me what can I do ;((( I really care bout him so much and it hurts thinking that he will go away soon ;(
Now I am really worried... I wrote to him this morning got a message back but since dan I didn't get any respond :( Normally we were writing all the time even when he was at work ( like today). Any idea what is going on? is it possible that he just try to stay away from me or is it just dat he's busy ;(((

There is information missing that would help me advise you on what you might want to do. What I see from what you have written is that you must not live at home since you spent the night in bed with him. This tells me you spent the night in your bed or wherever he was staying. Whatever the instance you did not have to answer to your parents as to where you were all night or why there was a man in your bed.

Question1: Are you also in school, College or trade type school?

If the answer is no;

question2: Are you working and is it the type of work you could find a job near his college?

The reason for these questions are simple. I think it is wrong for him to propose only to sooth your feelings. If he proposed and left for Scotland without you the saying' "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," is not always true.

If and I say "if" only because I do not know wither of you, the two of you are in love and do some day look to marry. Then the right thing to my mind would be for you to relocate to Scotland to be with him while he studies. This is the reason for the two questions I asked.

If there is nothing holding you were you live now then I would advice you to relocate to be with him though not to marry right now. When he finishes school and finds work then it would be time to reassess your feelings for each other and decide if you still wish to make a life together. Two years is a long time and lot of maturing happens during that time; especially at your present age. Ideals and life goals change in our early twenties especially while attending college.

Living together or having separate apartments in the same area for the next two years will give you a better prospectus on life and each other.

i began my period on the 8th of november and it ended on the 12th of november and i had unprotected sex on the 16th of novemeber. can i be pregnant? thx

Probably not. If your periods are regular and you are among the 85 percent of women that ovulate between the 7th and 21st day of their cycle then you should have been in you safe time.

For most women, 85%, the ovulate between the 7th and 21st day of their cycle. Sometime during this period your Overy ejects and egg for fertilization and is viable for several days after it is ejected into the fallopian tube. Once it leaves the fallopian tube it can no longer be fertilized by male sperm. I is when you ovulate and eject an egg that you are most likely to become pregnant. Every woman should know when the ovulate. Some women know this because the cramp up when the ovary ejects the egg. There are kits you can purchase at the drugstore to help you find out when you ovulate.

For the other 15% the can ovulate at anytime even during their period.

While I am almost certain you are not pregnant I do suggest you get a test kit and take the test. The reason I do so is simple. IF you stress out about thinking you may be pregnant I can guarantee you will miss your next period. Stress is the biggest reason why women miss their periods. It doesn't have to be stress or worry about being pregnant. Virgins can stress out over school work and miss a period. Your mom can stress out over a multitude of problems at work or home and miss her period.

My advice is that you take a test and find out for sure you are not pregnant and stop worrying. Then if you are over 14 by Federal Law called HIPPA you can make an appointment to see your doctor or go to any woman's clinic and get birth control. Your parents cannot object or stop you.

According to this law anyone over age 14 is in total control of their reproductive syste. Congress did this so that young men and women would seek out doctors for treatment and advice concerning the reproductive system or how to reproduce (sex).

By law your mother can no longer be in the exam room with you during a female exam or dads with a boy during a male exam of the reproductive system and organ. Only the doctor and the nurse can be in the exam room as you have total medical confidentiality when it comes to your reproductive system. No one, this includes your parents can see those medical records without your written permission. This includes if you should be pregnant your parents can not stop you or force you to have an abortion. It is totally your call.

By virtue of this law you can ask for and be prescribed birth control. The prescription will be filled under your parents health insurance with the same confidentiality as will the doctors visits.

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