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what to do?
I am a girl/23...i was always compared with my cousin sisters and always neglected and was treated ignored by all relatives and my parents..according to them I am just nothing...have no qualities in me...so I needed to prove myself at every point of my life...but then I realized that its my life and I should live it as I wish...no matter how people think about me and what they talk behind my back..so I cut them all from my life and made myself aloof...but my mom and dad till irritate me by calling or texting what anyone tells to them what my relatives might have thought about me and how they neglect me...really I got so tired with this...but my parents don't stop doing this...am just disturbed and lost my inner peace...what should I do as I can't go away from my parents and 24x7x365 they tell me what any jealous relative or friend is or might be talking about me to others at my back...am fade up trying making them understand what I actually feel about it..but they don't stop..what am supposed to do?
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Here is my motto on life. "The only person I have to be better than is the person I am today"
What this means is I don't care what other people think of me. I know what I am capable of and I have been successful at what I do all my working life. I have been in Sales and Marketing where the almighty sale is the marker of successes.
I've never worried about making sales, though this is how my success is measure by my employer. My concern was being a better person tomorrow than the one I am today. This meant I need to learn, to grow as a person. What I learned or what I wanted to learn was anything that would help me grow as a person or would help me help my customers. This motto has stood me well for over 40 years. I'm retired now and I still look to learn something new to grow each and every day.
I tell you this for I too was once in your position where family and friends would say I would never be successful. Success is measured in many different ways. I am not rich but we are comfortable. I have been able to give my son a good start in life and he is well on his way to meeting his goals in life. This is the measurement of success. Are you happy with who you are?
If the answer is yes then tell all others to keep their opinions to themselves as you are not interested. This includes your parents. Yes mom will get upset not because you told her you don't want to hear it and if she does start telling you these things you will either hang up or leave. It is because she is hurt by what she hears from her friends and relatives. Tell her to tell her friends and relatives to keep their opinions to themselves. That you are happy with your life and as my motto says you strive daily to better yourself by learning new things. This is all any parent, aunt or Uncle can ask of a child, niece or nephew.
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Ignore them for a while until they admit they are wrong. stop answering phone calls and text messages no matter what they say, and if someone you know that also knows your family calls you to ask about why your ignoring them then tell them why and they will relay it to them. until then ignore them. They dont deserve to have you in their lives in any capacity until they understand you will not be spoken to or treated this way.
silence can drive people crazy. Just complete silence from a loved one (since im sure on some level they still consider you one) can force them to look inward about why you might be totally ignoring them.
If you live with some of them, move out, if holidays come up where there are large gatherings, dont go. make it known that you feel disrespected and until you get some apologies or acknowledgements then theres no reason to speak about anything serious with you.
two can play this game. ive had to deal with this before so i know how it can go.
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