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I fell in love with him and he's going abroad for college for 2 years.
Hello,
Am writing to ask you all for advice. I met a guy while ago. From the first date I knew he's the one and I felt like he thinks like this too. He treats me like a princess, takes care of me , comes to visit me in my city spends weekends with me. Unfortunately, he came 2 days ago to see me, We went for lovely dinner had few drinks and than he said to me '' I know you have feelings'' I pretend that I dnt know what he's on about but than he said '' i think its the last time we should meet cause u have feelings and I will go to Scotland for 2 years and I do not want u to suffer and i dnt want to suffer , also I am happy single'' than i tried not to cry we went home were lyin in bed than the topic started again. I admitted that ya I do start to have feelings he said that Im better off without him. Was crying all night and he was huging me saying he will miss me and all. In the morning when I woke up was crying again while he was kissing me hugin and than suddenly i saw he was crying too. He said he really likes me and if we continue it his heart will be broken when he leaves, but he still wants to meet me and spend the last few weeks together eventhough it will hurt both of us. Later on he asked me '' would you be happy if I propose to u'' and i just took it as joke but he seemed upset ( but before he said he wants to b single!! ) Since than I dnt know what to do I know he has to go for college and all, but I would like us to be together and I know he has feelings too but just cause he has to go he said it all. Please help me what can I do ;((( I really care bout him so much and it hurts thinking that he will go away soon ;(
Now I am really worried... I wrote to him this morning got a message back but since dan I didn't get any respond :( Normally we were writing all the time even when he was at work ( like today). Any idea what is going on? is it possible that he just try to stay away from me or is it just dat he's busy ;(((
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I am in College in Ireland live in a house that i rent so he stayed der with me. The guy just graduated in another College near Dublin. Got a chance to go to scotland for some kinda training that will help him to get job ( its in college in Scotland). I know he propably said it all just to make me happy, but its not da case. The problem is I really do have feelings for him so does he i believe. Since that meeting we do not text as much as we used to :( I am not even sure if he comes to visit me again :( I know it might b hard to b together while he is so far away but I was even thinking that I would visit him every few weeks while hes in scotland, but I do not really know if he still wants it. At the begining we had so many plans together we wanted to go to spain and work for summer there and than we were looking for college for me in scotland that has the same course as I do. And now? Now since the meeting its different so much different. He doesnt show me love anymore like he used to. He kinda keeps distance as I said. What you guys think? What can I do? I know he has to go but I would love to at least enjoy the last few weeks we have left together ;(((
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I think you need more communication about what's going to happen because he's giving mixed signals.
Because at first he said he's happy being single, then he asked "Would you be happy if I proposed to you?" But to be honest, it sounds like he said that just so you wouldn't be sad and not for the right reasons. More like pity and he feels bad for you.
So I think you guys need to have a real conversation with each other. Ask him what he really wants, if he doesn't want to continue what you two have going on, you should probably end it now and you can start moving on sooner.
Do your best not to cry if he says he doesn't want to be with you. Because it'll just make him feel bad and you'll probably just get what happened before. And right now, you just need honest answers.
I believe he has feelings for you, but maybe not enough to continue a long distance relationship.
You'll have to talk to him and find out.
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There is information missing that would help me advise you on what you might want to do. What I see from what you have written is that you must not live at home since you spent the night in bed with him. This tells me you spent the night in your bed or wherever he was staying. Whatever the instance you did not have to answer to your parents as to where you were all night or why there was a man in your bed.
Question1: Are you also in school, College or trade type school?
If the answer is no;
question2: Are you working and is it the type of work you could find a job near his college?
The reason for these questions are simple. I think it is wrong for him to propose only to sooth your feelings. If he proposed and left for Scotland without you the saying' "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," is not always true.
If and I say "if" only because I do not know wither of you, the two of you are in love and do some day look to marry. Then the right thing to my mind would be for you to relocate to Scotland to be with him while he studies. This is the reason for the two questions I asked.
If there is nothing holding you were you live now then I would advice you to relocate to be with him though not to marry right now. When he finishes school and finds work then it would be time to reassess your feelings for each other and decide if you still wish to make a life together. Two years is a long time and lot of maturing happens during that time; especially at your present age. Ideals and life goals change in our early twenties especially while attending college.
Living together or having separate apartments in the same area for the next two years will give you a better prospectus on life and each other.
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awww sweetie, this kind of thing is ALWAYS tough. Personally i feel that he should/could have told you sooner that he would be going away so far for so long a WHOLE lot sooner then he did.
It was kind of uncool of him to get involved with someone if he knew he would be leaving and in a sense leading someone on before he broke the news to you.
If hes asking you to marry him then at this point he just feels badly, and it sounds like he wants to please you instead of doing it for the right reasons. just to make you happy for the moment because he cant stand to see you in such pain which is NOT the answer here, ever.
the best thing you can do is keep in contact if you want and try to both just go on with your lives. If you and him end up getting back together after his two years away then GREAT, but if not try to have your own things going on for yourself. It really isnt the end of the world even tho im sure it feels like it right now.
good luck ; )
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