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He rejected me twice then agrees to go on a date
here's my situation, when i started the 11th grade. i. met this boy named jean. jean is an honor student and a working man. i have school community service with him.every day . since ive gotten adjusted to seeing him every day we became friends. He very handsome and such a gentleman. i told him a month ir two later that i liked him he said " your pretty too" so i was happy all my friends said we should date so i am like hey what can go wrong. we flirted.for a few days and i felt like.he was taking to long to make the move so i made it. i wrote him a small letter expressing my.feelings ( and again this us all happening on Facebook because when were in school he always surrounded by his guy friends or female friends (alot of female friends 😭😭😭😭😓)) after i sent him the letter he said this "😍😍😍 you made my year but i wish we could be more than friends if it wasn't for my job skedual and school " ofcorse i was crying after that but then i got over it pretty fast. the following week were flirting again then he tells me he has somthing to tell me on Monday and im going like so im here waiting for the weekend to end because i though he was going pop out the question even all my friends but when i get to community service he not there but he comes the. last min . i ask him what he had to tell me but he rush out without saying a word i texted him on Facebook and he said " if you guess my favorite color then ill give you a prize " i am mad at this point so i played his little game and never won my prize. my friends say to keep trying so i made the move AGAIN . for the third time , i asked him on q date he said yes . i asked him 200 times are you seriously going through with this and he said yes as long as im paying. out date is set for two weeks from now and is either going be at a park or a botanical garden ( it pretty cold in New York) .
the moral of my.question is , Do you guys think he really like me? for a boy who rejected or as we teens say Dub (is like another word for rejection) more than once thens agree to go on a date thats pretty frustrating.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
So Dragonflymagic broke down all the steps there is to dating, getting to know someone, and eventually a relationship.
Like she also said, guys can change their mind.
He seems a least a little bit more interested in getting to know you and dating you to get to know you.
But also remember that if you keep pestering him about the date and if he's really going through with it, it might turn him off and he won't be interested.
And who knows what's going on with his little game. Maybe he was just playing around trying to have a light conversation with you and you took it seriously that you'd really get some sort of prize. Or like Dragonflymagic said, he might want to try to get to know each other some more and is trying to somehow start it by mentioning his favorite things.
Just be cool about the whole thing, keep is casual and just see if you guys have things in common and if your personalities mix well.
If he's not interested after that, then you know it's time to move on.
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Young men in their teens and 20's can change their mind about a girl more often than they change socks. When it comes down to it, they are still just babe's in the woods of Dating and Relationships. But then, so are girls. Some of the things you do that you might think to be harmless may in fact be detrimental to a dating relationship and kill his interest in you and the same thing with things he does that get you to have doubts. You did say you asked him many times (200) about the date. That is one thing which if it is ongoing in the relationship, will over time kill a guys interest if there really was one. If he is pretending, then he'll never commit to dating you to find out more about you. Dating is for the purpose of taking the next step in getting to know a person whom you are visually attracted to, to see if they may be a good match for you. That is the objective of dating. You are not boyfriend/girlfriend when dating yet, not until you both have spent enough time together to be sure you want to go on to the next step and become bf/gf and be 'seeing each other' going together, or known as a couple. Girls seem to believe that going on a date means she is his girlfriend. Not all boys believe that way. A few, but mostly they are afraid of a girls mistaken expectations that he is making a commitment at that point and neither one is talking it out and communicating on it. Did you notice the choice of words and how different when you said you "like" him and he did not respond back with the same, rather he said, you're pretty too. He took your confession of "Liking" to mean that you were telling him that you were attracted to him, found him handsome, attractive and want to get to know him better which is done by getting together for dates...
I cannot guess what his objective is with his little game of guess my favorite color. He may just be playing games and has no reason for it, or maybe he is playfully trying to get the message across that he wants a girl who is interested in getting to know who he is inside, his likes, dislikes, etc... Are you showing an interest that way by asking him questions about himself. So if he's leaving you hints and all you do is guess a color and then get mad, you're only showing yourself to have less of an interest in him than he would like. Usually it's the girls who have a guy not wanting to discover who she is on the inside.
Another possibility, he is subtly trying to get across a message that you are taking this dating too seriously, or for totally different reasons than him. bY making up this game he may be trying to say to lighten up and try to have fun in the time that you date and get to know each other enough to be able to choose whether this is the kind of person who is perfect for you or not. In almost all cases, teens do not end up life long with the 1st or 2nd person they date. They learn what they like in the opposite sex as well as what they won't tolerate, and if ground rules are set at beginning of a relationship, and one person breaks them, then the other will dump them and move on to find someone a step better rather than settle for less. Rejection as you see it, may have a natural reason behind it such as what I just gave and is a good thing compared to being with someone not right for you.
Another thing to understand about guys, they do prioritize which commitments are most important to them which he mentioned, the regret of school and job schedule meaning he didn't have enough time for you. Guys will have many prioritys among which are also a sports team they play on or excercise of some sort, hanging with their friends, their family (parents/siblings) and a girlfriend. If you are not one of his top 3 priorities then you are not yet of highest importance. You may have his interest but fall lower on the totem pole as far as importance he places on you. But then again, you haven't really dating yet. So its quite natural you wouldn't instantly achieve that level. But if you reach the level of committed relationship with a guy and you don't become one of 3 top prioritys, then something is wrong and he may not be the best person for you. So if you have any questions what he means by something, or where you stand, find ways to ask him. A good question series to discuss is both of you answering for each other how you would define "Attraction' and what does it involve, are you dating or bf/gf at that point? What does dating mean to you? What would you describe as the perfect bf/gf? At what point do you think a couple are in a relationship, considered a committed couple? You may come up with even more questions. You may be surprised with each others answers. Until you both are on the same page, believing the same, having the same ideas and ideals, you are not going to have it easy and there's room for doubt.
Good luck.
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