about

Hi my name is Angel, that's my real name. I'm a young adult now, I've had this advice column for years, but I made another one under the name anq3l_xo when I thought I couldn't access this one. A little bit about myself. I am a student, both in college and high school. I work as a nanny part time. I want to be a lawyer when I "grow up." I believe I've done a lot of growing up in my short life. I have conquered an obsession over drugs and alcohol in the last year and a half. I'm sober now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm happy now. I'm in an absolutely blessed relationship with someone that I truly care about and love with all of my heart. I have been through things that you kids have nightmares about. I have seen, heard, and witnessed a lot of things that would make full grown men cry. I believe that I am innocent now, because I don't live that old lifestyle anymore. I have a lot of experience in a lot of things, and I've always been good at shedding light on dark situations. I come from a broken family, so I have step, half whatever siblings, and I just recently reunited with my real mother after she abandoned me 10 years ago. I have amazing friends today, but it wasn't always like that. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a great relationship with him, but let me tell you, it wasn't always like that. My sister is a drug addict/ alcoholic of the worst type. She's my best friend in the entire world, and I hope this 14 year old girl doesn't have to go through what I went through. I've come to understand that I can't help her, but I can help others through advice and by being of service to people around me. I'm always here to help, leave one in my inbox on this column or my other one, or my email which is listed, and I WILL get back to you. I know what it's like to feel like nobody cares, well I care about everybody. God bless. ~Love Angel



advice

I weigh about 131 pounds and I'm 5'4 (I'm a female) I'm kinda curvy, but I would like to weigh around 115. Is this seriously a realistic weight? If so, how should I go about losing the weight in a healthy manner?

am-i-fat.com, this site helps soo much, check it out, it's pretty cool. Hope I helped, -Angel

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Hey well i have a problem, this guy that i really liked my freshman year(know a senior). He lives with his girlfriend but his girlfriend, but she doesnt give him any sex and he comes to me. How would i know if he is using me or not? Please let me know i am desperate to know, he tells me he loves me and i dont know if i should believe him because he says he says that he will never hurt me. I dont know if he is just using me for sex or not. i need help. i really like him and i like when i have sex with him too but i dont know.

You seriously need to talk to him, because this guy has a girlfriend, then why is he with her if he likes you? He probably is using you, so you should talk to him about it, because I'm sure you don't want to get hurt by him. It sounds like he's just using you, and I'm sorry if he is. But you'll never really know until you talk to him, don't have sex with him until the two of you talk, and make sure he gets things straight with his girlfriend. Hope I helped, good luck. -Angel

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Ok i know this kinda sounds wierd but my friend allison has out of body experiences....like she goes to sleep and then like her soul will wander does any one have any thing they know about something like this? I am fifteen year old female and so is she....

Yeah, that's something you have to study, and practice to be able to do. It's really cool that your friend can do that. It's nothing to worry about though. -Angel

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if you can't get out of the house what are some really good cardio exercises you can do for 30 minutes? is investing in an exercise video a good idea? if soo..which ones?

any exercise video usually starts out with cardio. If you don't want to do that, then you could run in place for 20 minutes, jumping jacks, jump rope, any of those things, just something to get your heart going. Hope I helped, good luck -Angel

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I am about 10lbs underweight it may not sound like much but I'm 14 years old, 69lbs, and 4'6 feet. I am to small and are in prone to serious health risks what shall I do?

Eat plenty of carbs, dont worry so much, because that actually will make you lose weight. Just eat lots of pastas, breads, cereals, but stay healthy. Good luck. -Angel

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Where is a place where I can buy cute thongs for not alot of money? Thanks. xoxo.

forever 21, charlotte rousse, sometimes victoria's secret, those places usually have good deals. Good luck!

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OK today is Christmas and my dad got drunk.Well my mom and him were arguing and my dad sometime hits my mom well I have a brother he's 17 and today he had enough and my brother went and hit him then they began fighting and alot of mess started.I don't know what to do or even think and my brother is leaving to the Army I'm really confused plz helm I'm 14/f.

Just kind of space yourself from your family a little bit, stay in your room. Don't try to fix anything, maybe talk to your mom. About your dad, stay away from him, either your brother will figure something out, or your mom will, but if I were you, the more space for now, the better. Just be there for any of your family members to talk to, if worse comes to worst, call the police or CPS, someone that can make the situation more controlled. I really hope things work out, Merry Christmas! -Angel

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I want to do more than just make out with my boyfriend, but we've just been goin to the movies so it's kinda hard to do anythin else when so many people are around. So any ideas on what we could do or what i could say that would turn him on?

you could sit in the back of the movies, and get "closer" but if you're more modest than that, good for you. I would suggest, like, a friends house, your house, his house, whatever. There's a lot of things you could do to turn him on, kiss him, play with his hair, ears, tickle him, whatever. Good luck with that, I hope I helped. -Angel

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My older sister trys to kill me ...like really trys! shes puttin a knife to my neck and chased me around the house with a butcher knife! and much more...and my parents seem to not even care...

well, talk to your parents about it, or if that doesnt work, find a higher authority, grandparents, CPS, police, a mental doctor, someone to help her or you. My best advice other than that, don't piss her off and just stay the hell away from her. Hope I helped and good luck. -Angel

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I apologize in advance for the potential length of this post.

Lately, I have been having trouble with my father. It seems like he's taking every opportunity to ruin every chance at happiness that I ever had. I normally wouldn't care, but he's really effecting my relationships with other people and my potential opportunity to get into a good college, which is really important to me.

Since I'm only fourteen, I have no way to move out without his complete consent, and I have considered moving in with my mother in San Francisco, but she is physically abusive toward me, so that really eliminates itself as an option.

He's making me feel worthless and like I'm a horrible human being and I don't know what to do. He's called me a slut, a liar, a failure, and a sociopath. Someone please help me.

You could call CPS on him, and then they could put you somewhere, but that may or may not make you happy. Maybe you have friendly aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents? You can talk to your dad and tell him that if he can't treat you respectfully the way you treat him, then it's going to have to be his responsibility to find a place for you to stay with someone who will respect you. It's a really hard situation, but if you're up for handling it, then you should go for it. I really really hope that things work out for you, and be really careful, I hope I helped. Keep ya head up. -Angel

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me and my boyfriend want to have sex.. but we want to have it somewhere where there wont be any parents. we aren't old enough to rent a hotel room.. have our own car.. etc. any ideas?

well, your parents aren't always home, neither are his, they give you privacy in your rooms. If you want to have sex that badly, you'll think of something. Maybe a friends house? I dont know, wherever you feel comfortable. You'll find a place, I'm sure. Hope I helped though, good luck, use protection. -Angel

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i was gofing around with my boyfriend while all of a sudden he got all wierd and started grabbing covers and all. so i ripped the covers awayto get him goin again and he revealed... well, he had a giantic boner. instead of laughin or bein grossed out i just ran away and haven't talked to him much. im 13, and i dnt knoe... i wasn't expecting it. why do you think that happened?
i rate 5's if you answer quick!

well... depends on what youre asking, why you ran away? because that was awkward, i would feel awkward in that situation. Why he got a boner? well, im sure we can only imagine. . . its normal for guys, just try not to talk about it and make it more awkward. Hope i helped -Angel

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ok, my exboyfriend was telling all his buddies that we were having sex and begging them for condoms. and then they all started thinking i was a whore or something. and somehow the rumor changed to me having sex with five other guys. and i haven't even had sex with one guy. how do i change my reputation back, or ruin his too?

well one way to ruin his, would be to say that he's dirty, he doesn't use condoms when he has sex and he may be infected with who-knows-what. Or you could be nice about it and just get your rep back. That's the much harder route, but not impossible, just act totally innocent, deny all the rumors, and explain what a jerk the guy is for making them up. Cry if you have to. Hope I helped, good luck. Happy holidays -Angel

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16/f/CA...I'm almost 17 and I've never had a boyfriend. Not that the "style" always or really does effect his personality or whatever, but I'm into the "surfer/swimmer" guys mostly. On occasion I like the musician/poetry type of guy. But I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never been asked out. I do remember a long, long time ag0--actually back in middle school one of my friends said to me "yea, I know a whole mess of guys that like you"...but that was the end of that and she never brought it up again...
I'm the kind of girl who loves to have fun. If you dine and dash on a date, I'll do it too (most likely, I'm the one to bring it up). You wanna go TPing, I'm right behind you. You want to leave secret admirer letters to random people thinking that someone is "in love" with them? I'll write them for you! I just love to have fun and mess around with people and play jokes. But then I get get very serious and moody also. I also love to feel special and loved. I like guys who could sweep me off my feet or surprise me. I'm not the kind of girl who throws herself at a guy, or starts flirting or competing just because girl who, in my opinion, is more prettier than me. I hate when girls do that... not that I just sit there and watch, but I hate when girls are ALL OVER a guy who they aren't even with, and they're just like "lYkE oMg! yOu'Re sOoO fUnNy!!!" ESPECIALLY when they're doing it because another girl is there and they're "competing" for the guy. Is there something I'm doing wrong? I have lots of guy friends, but none that has actually tried becoming more than friends with me. If a guy who I think hot says something or he tries to be funny, I'll smile or chuckle and maybe say something back (unless it REALLY is funny, I'll laugh...but I don't want to overdo it). What should I do, and since I kind of gave you a basic idea of my personality, what kind of guys would be good with my personality?

I'm the same way you are, there is no specific type for anyone really, but if you feel a slight attraction to someone, you have the right to jump on it. If it helps, my current boyfriend is a badboy/skater/listens to rap/white boy, mostly badboy. A guy that would be good for your personality is someone that understands you, and can keep up with you, but not someone exactly like you. They're not that hard to find, but you do gotta look. Hope I helped and good luck sweetie, Happy Holidays. -Angel

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i appologize now for this being long...but i just really need some advice!

ima 14 female freshman...
it starts off in 7th grade, me and this guy got 2 gether..we dated for a year. broke up in 8th grade..he messed with sum 7th graders. we were supposed 2 get back 2gther, but he ended up switchin schools. during the summer after 8th grade, we kept in touch..talked on the phone, chilled @ the movies and all that...and yes we were frends wit benefits!!...freshman year started we didnt talk so much, thats wen i met this guy..we dated 4 2 months, and juss a few weeks ago i broke up with him..once my ex boi found owt i was single again..we started talking...(and b4 i broke up wit my boi he told me he would b waiting 4 me!)...so it was true he was waitin 4 me!...we been talkin alot latly! im guessing we do go owt..its juss i dont know if i can trust hiM!..i know how he is..im just scared ima get hurt again!..bkuz he sorta did mess roun wit others back in 7th grade!

Set him straight, let him know that you don't want him unless you're perfectly secure about the fact that he won't cheat on you or anything. If he's willing to give up his chicks on the side for you, then it should be good. Don't let him run your relationship, so tell him what you want from him in order for things to work. Hope I helped, good luck, and happy holidays. -Angel

ps: don't let him move in with you, trust me, it's a nightmare. -Angel

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What should i get my mom and dad for xmas? i dont have any money and i cant go out and buy anything so i was wondering if any of you have any ideas on what i could give them or make them? i hope you have some ideas because i only have 2 days! i will rate for effort! ill give you a five!

Christmas morning, make them coffee or tea, and make some cookies/brownies/whatever. They're your parents, they just want you to be happy really. If they're hard-working, let them get a lot of sleep. Little things add up. Good luck, hope I helped. Merry Christmas. -Angel

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im 20 and a female, i very much want to open my own strip joint...what do you guys think...also what do you think i should do...give me suggestions about all little things like what do you guys like about going to them..(like what should i call it, what should i have inside?) thanks for taking the time

That's really great that you're serious about opening a strip joint. Make sure you have food, a bar, strippers, a good seating area, nice lighting. And make sure you do it the way you want it, maybe you could go around in a big city somewhere and check out some strip clubs. That's the best advice I can give, hope I helped. Good luck, have fun! -Angel

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I think I might have paranoia. I have a wonderful gf. I love her todeath, but she talks to the one guy, who constantly flirts with her and it pisses me off. She says dont worry about it and that she loves me, but I still get worried. What if she will start to like him? I know nothing will happen. Were perfect for each other but I feel like bad things will always happen. Can anyone give me sties to read up on it or tell me what I can do to not be paranoid? I dont want to lose her over my problems. I want to be normal.

Talk to her about how SHE feels, not a bunch of people on a website. Tell her how you feel, since she loves you, she should be totally understanding. You have no reason to be paranoid though. If I were you, I would look up "Overcoming Paranoia," on a search engine. You are normal, everyone has a right to be paranoid at times. But, good luck, hope I helped, and Merry Christmas. -Angel

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I have a problem: some part of me wants my older sister's approval so much, yet I am nothing like her. She is a good and decent person, if not a little conservative and practical. She is a good role model, but I am not her. I am intellectual, studious and questioning. When I ask her the big questions, she thinks I make a big deal out of little things. But I think she never asks herself the big questions in life or is afraid to.
Why do I want her approval so much? She is a good person and I love her, but why don't I have the fortitude to be my own person?

Every little sister secretly wants their older sister's approval. You do have the fortitude to be your own person, you are your own person, but you, like all little sisters, want your older sister to basically, like you. It's perfectly normal and don't think of yourself as anyone other than yourself. Hope I helped. -Angel

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I was in a mental institution and I got really close to one of the staff members that worked there, she helped me in every way possible and I thought of her as my mom. Since I have been out it seems like everytime I call the hospital to talk to her, they make an excuse for me to NOT talk to her. Last night my sister looked her up on the internet and come to find out, she lives a mile away from me, and I have her home phone number, I mailed her a christmas card this morning to her home, but I dont know if I should actually call her at home. I miss her so much and she made such a big impact in my life, what do I do? I don't want her to think that I am like stalking her or anything! ???????

I'm sure she would be happy to hear from you. Just call her and wish her a merry christmas, I'm sure that she would be thrilled to hear from you. The only reason why they wouldnt want you to talk to her though is probably because mental institutions aren't for making friends, it's to help solve a problem in your life. But I don't see what would be wrong with calling her, find out if she wants to talk to you. Ask her, she wouldn't turn you away like that. Good luck and Merry Christmas. -Angel

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