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Why must I think I must be like my sister?
I have a problem: some part of me wants my older sister's approval so much, yet I am nothing like her. She is a good and decent person, if not a little conservative and practical. She is a good role model, but I am not her. I am intellectual, studious and questioning. When I ask her the big questions, she thinks I make a big deal out of little things. But I think she never asks herself the big questions in life or is afraid to.
Why do I want her approval so much? She is a good person and I love her, but why don't I have the fortitude to be my own person?
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it's very common for a younger sibling to want to be like the older sibling. maybe your life stinks and your not happy but hers is great and shes happy. maybe you just love her so much and want to be like her.
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You can desire your sister's approval in what you do and still be your own person. I think it's normal to want somebody you trust and respect to approve of the decesions you make for yourself, as it's reassuring when people you think are good and noble agree with you and approve of your actions. As with most things however, there is a line. If you feel guilty when your sister doesn't approve absolutely and completely, or would have done things slightly different, even over things of comparatively little importance, than perhaps you looking up to your sister too much, and need to have more faith in yourself and your own decesions. We often look towards others when we are insecure about decesions we have made, as we seek reassurance that we've done the right thing. If you need this kind of reassurance in your sister's approval even on things like the questions you ask yourself, then you are probably relying on her too much. Try not to question yourself and compare yourself to her so much. Have faith in the way you live and the things you, that they are right for you even if your sister doesn't do things the exact same way. You can look up to your sister and enjoy her approval without having to be like her in every way - the real talent is in knowing where your sisters approval is important and when it's just something that's nice to have but not something that should change how you are (e.g. in matters of preference over how you approach problems). Good luck, and Merry Christmas.
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hey. like everyone says. you look up to hear and you want her opinion and things. you never said that she's a good role model and theres nothing wrong with that. being a only child i go to my older cousins because they already been through high school and things and they help me out with opinion makings too. so if you have something you need an answer too just go to her. i'm sure she wont mind and be proud that her sister is asking her for help. hope i helped. take care. x3 SweetStar.
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you look up to her and u want her oppinion.. and thats normal... dont think that because she doesnt answer you she doesnt care.. maybe she is just in a rut of her own... or she just doesnt know how to help..
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sometimes i want to be my little sister because people are around heri love her to i think that you want to be like her because she might be your role model.
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hey,i think that you should be happy with your self dont try to be another person its not you be true to who you are.-tish
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It's alright to want our sister's approval , but you have to recognize when to accept it . It's your life and it's up to you to decide things, but just because you ask for her approval doesn't make you want to be like your sister . Remember to recognize. Remember your differences and accept them . They are apart of you and they make you who you are, as your sister's differences define who she is. It's so natural that you want her approval for things because she's the big sister ;maybe you admire the fact about her that
she never asks herself the big questions in life . Maybe you do because you're confused and truly don't know why she does it . I do think you have the fortitude to be your own person . Your qualities are intellectual, studious and you question(which is a great thing.). To recognize those qualities within yourself prove that you do have the fortitude to be yourself . You are your own person you just don't truly recognize it within yourself .
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You do you just need to follow thru with someone too
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I have an older sister too and sometimes I feel the same way because its natural to want to feel approved, especially by someone that you look up to, (like an older sister) but I also feel that you need to be your own person and not obsesse over being exactly like her>>>> even she will respect you more for being your own self. I mean some little kid came up to you that acted just like you and wanted to be you, would you want to spend time with her or with someone that you dont know??
HOPE IT HELPS!!
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You sound like a very smart girl with plenty of intellect. Don't take that for granted, go ahead and be proud of that. Also, it's okay to look up to your older sister and desire her approval. You obviously have some differences which is okay, too, that's what makes each of you your own person. I am sure there are some things about you that she wishes she was more like even if she'll never admit it. Maybe she just feels intimadated when you ask her the big questions that she seems to not think to ask herself. You sound like you have a great sister relationship...be happy for that. I don't know if I helped too much, but I hope I made you think on a level or two.
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Every little sister secretly wants their older sister's approval. You do have the fortitude to be your own person, you are your own person, but you, like all little sisters, want your older sister to basically, like you. It's perfectly normal and don't think of yourself as anyone other than yourself. Hope I helped. -Angel
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i too have an older brother. he is nine years older than me, and i am constantly looking for his approval! I think there is a special bond between older siblings... there is nothing wrong with wanting her approval, and it makes sense that you two are different. and in the end it will work out that you are different people, you will have an experience and knowledge of life that others won't! anyway, being your own person is also good, try to have a little more confidence in yourself and forge your own path! LUCK
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