about

Hi my name is Angel, that's my real name. I'm a young adult now, I've had this advice column for years, but I made another one under the name anq3l_xo when I thought I couldn't access this one. A little bit about myself. I am a student, both in college and high school. I work as a nanny part time. I want to be a lawyer when I "grow up." I believe I've done a lot of growing up in my short life. I have conquered an obsession over drugs and alcohol in the last year and a half. I'm sober now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm happy now. I'm in an absolutely blessed relationship with someone that I truly care about and love with all of my heart. I have been through things that you kids have nightmares about. I have seen, heard, and witnessed a lot of things that would make full grown men cry. I believe that I am innocent now, because I don't live that old lifestyle anymore. I have a lot of experience in a lot of things, and I've always been good at shedding light on dark situations. I come from a broken family, so I have step, half whatever siblings, and I just recently reunited with my real mother after she abandoned me 10 years ago. I have amazing friends today, but it wasn't always like that. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a great relationship with him, but let me tell you, it wasn't always like that. My sister is a drug addict/ alcoholic of the worst type. She's my best friend in the entire world, and I hope this 14 year old girl doesn't have to go through what I went through. I've come to understand that I can't help her, but I can help others through advice and by being of service to people around me. I'm always here to help, leave one in my inbox on this column or my other one, or my email which is listed, and I WILL get back to you. I know what it's like to feel like nobody cares, well I care about everybody. God bless. ~Love Angel



advice

i am a virgin and my boyfriend wants to have anal sex, if he cums in my ass can I get pregnant?

no you can't. i would never reccommend anal sex over vaginal. but you wont get pregnant.

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Well, this year I didn't play basketball and I've been eating a lot of junk food. So, guess what?! I got love handles. I'm going to stop with the junk food but what are some exercises I can do to get rid of than. Any help is appreciated. Thanks!

I just bought a medicine ball, it's basically a ball that has weight to it, mine weighs five pounds. They cost about 20 bucks and they're really effective. What you do basically is hold the ball any way you want, i do it above my head, and move side to side like you're swaying kind of, just focus on moving your upper body side to side. Another thing I do with my sister is we stand back to back and pass the ball around to each other real fast. It really works, there are other exercises you can do without a medicine ball. If you belong to a gym, find something for lower back exercises, it's hard to explain love handle exercises, but anyhow, find a lower back exercise structure and just do it sideways. Also, cardio, cardio will definitely get rid of love handles. Hope I helped. ~Love Angel

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im 16 and looking for a job but i dont know what place will hire me do you know place would hire 16 years old? i never worked before and im planning to work on weekends, and summer and it should be around hayward-union city thanks and how much they pay me thanks!

and im thinking ill have 2 jobs in summer one on weekdays and one on weekends do you think its okay?

The job market is going to go soft real soon here. Everyone is going to want a job pretty soon. The economy is going down... If you want two jobs, that's going to be a lot harder than finding one job full time. I would suggest the local movie theater, maybe a jamba juice or something. Pretty much, whatever you find you'll have to settle with, even minimum wage, because everyone wants a job right now, even the more experienced people. If you're good with kids, try to ask around for a babysitting position, or if you drive, a nanny position. I make $12/hour doing that. Oh, and definitely check craigslist if you're looking for a job, they have a lot of job postings that say "great for students." Just remember when you send an email response, include a cover letter, and a resume if you want them to take you seriously. If you have any more questions you can leave a message in my inbox or you can email me. Good luck! ~Angel

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My ex boyfriend (I'll call him L)and I went out for a month last year, and broke up becuz we were just acting like friends (it was our first relationship). Anyway, we are a rare case, because we just got ridiculously closer and its exactly a year today that we were together; we talk everyday, and he is almost like my best friend, only more. Anyway, i never completely got over him. I honestly love him. Not in love, but i do love him so much. We connect in a way that I never have with anyone. And i know he loves me too, we make a cute couple and balance each other well, but two months ago, i told him that i still had feelings for him and he told that we should just be friends. Anyway, my guy best friend's good friend J likes me alot, and I am attracted to him,but I cant see myself with him, because I still like the other guy. So, last night, I asked L for advice on what to do: whether I should give J a chance or not (because he is the only one who could give me a true answer). And he gave the sweetest advice, that if I saw myself with him than I should give him a chance, but if I cant than maybe I shouldnt. I told him that he (L) would be fifth wheel if I went with J (becasue my guybest friend, his girlfriend, me and L...and now J hang out alot). And he told me not to worry about him, and be selfish for once. Then he quietly asked if I liked someone else, why i was so unsure about J...and I didnt want to answer(because of course I like him). There is nothing wrong with J,but I love L, and I want us to have another chance. We are perfect for each other. We are always flirting with each other, and i love the way he talks to me. He said I brighten his day. Should I give J a chance, or try to give it one try with L again (mind you, he might not even want to try it again.) I want L to know that I do love him. Sometimes, I think that he may love me enough to try it again, but I am afraid to get rejected like two months ago...but after I told him I liked him we got so much closer (he called me everyday that week, but I didnt pick up the phone [could that mean that he was rethinking rejecting me?[), and in two months we are just so close, like a bestfriend only more. Everyone is always asking about us, why we arent together, because we act like it, and he said it would be weird to see me with another guy. I cant tell whether his advice was saying: move on because our time has come and gone, or if he was just being a great friend. Because when he came to me awhile ago, and asked me if he should settle for some girl because he wanted a girlfriend I gave him similiar advice because I put the friend before my feeling for him. I just dont want to get rejected again. But I dont think I can be with J unless...

I don't know if you meant for your question to get cut off where it did, but you can always leave another one in my inbox if you want to. It sounds to me like you're crazy about L, and not so much about J. It sounds like you would just settle for J if L didn't work out for you. Why just settle for what's alright? If you think you have a chance with L at all, jump on it, because I can tell just from reading your question that that's what you really want. You're crazy about L, don't hurt J by getting together with him when he's not what you really want, he doesn't deserve that. Let L know how you feel, tell him you're crazy about him and you want to get back together with him. If he doesn't want to, then at least he knows how you really feel, and there's more hope for the future. Find out what his feelings are, about you about a relationship with you. Things will work themselves out, sometimes you just have to be patient. I really hope I helped, good luck and keep me posted hun. ~Love Angel

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Whats are the best exercises to get rid of fat on your inner thighs!? i do lunges but they dont seem to work..

Well, you won't see any results unless you're burning more calories than you consume. So technically, you have to be "dieting" although I hate that word. As far as exercises go, one thing I like: Get a medicine ball, if you don't have one, you can use any sort of ball, about the size of a basketball, but a little "squishier." Lay on your back with your legs up, toes pointed to the ceiling/sky, and have the ball in between your legs. Do crunches, and as you go up for the crunch, squeeze your legs together. I would reccommend repeating this 20 times. But before you work out I strongly suggest doing a cardiovascular workout, running etc. otherwise you won't see any results. Good luck, hope I helped. ~Love Angel

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ok so i am into snowboarding and theres a certain mountain i have been looking at in france, it is called Chamonix (i think the full name is Chamonix Mont Blanc) i know what the last 2 words mean "mountain White" but what is Chamonix? and how do i say it? or do i say it exatcly as it looks? Char-mon-ix?

well being a french speaker, i think both people that also answered this question are wrong. "Shah" "Mo" "Neeh" if that makes sense, when you put it together, it would sound more like shOWmOHnEE, French is a difficult language. I hope I helped. ~Angel

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I never thought I would think that this very thing would happen to my family. Over 3 years ago, my father passed away from cancer. It was very quick and found out within a summer length of time. After my father passed away, my mom would start drinking. She would drink from 1-2 bottles of wine a night. To the point where she would be drunk and feel better about everything. It never really accord to us that she was having a drinking problem. But now 3 years later, shes been drinking almost a whole bottle of wine a night. She gets to the point where shes mean and cries. I try to talk to her, but she never listens. She says she only does it cause it helps her with the stress of work, financial problems, ect. I want to get her help, but I know she'll be angry with me at first. Because during any time I talk to someone else about the drinking problem or any other problems in her life, she denies it. When I confronted her tonight about drinking, she completely denied it. Should I research about it, seek help from a pastor at a local church, a hotline? Thank you for the advice.

What you want to do, is check out Al-Anon. They're meetings for family and friends of alcoholics, they could tell you, better than anybody, how to approach, love, and tolerate your mother and her drinking. You could suggest to her that she go to Alcoholics Anonymous, however she may not take that so well. Look it up online, Al-Anon, or if you're young Ala-teen, they're great programs and they provide a support group full of people that are going through the same thing you are. Good luck hun, leave one in my inbox if you need any more advice. ~Love Angel

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k i like this guy lets call him D and he is black i am white and my parents are totaly against that! i havent told them yt but i really like D so i am confussed about what to do!!! i think he likes me too but its kinda iffy!!! i wanna date him but i dont want to be disowned by my family. and i know they will disowen me because the had told me before if i had ever dated one then they would ! so what should i do!!!
Thanks!

P.S. for really stupid answers i will give ones!!

Your parents are in the wrong, and although you may not want to tell them that, perhaps show them that they're wrong. Show them what a great guy D is regardless of his color, maybe have him over. If he is a bad kind of guy however, then maybe you should date him anyways? All I'm saying really is that your parents are wrong to not like him simply because he is black, show them that and they should have no choice but to back off and trust your judgement. Hope I helped. Keep me posted!

-Angel

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I got my belly button pierced a few months ago and it always turns to the left side..it never stays flat so the ring faces out. When i turn it so the ring faces out and also when i try to clean it puss comes out of it...is it infected, what should i do?

It probably is infected if that's still happening. You should soak your belly button in salt water solution, aka water and salt, for 20 minutes a day. That, and clean it with salene solution [a liquid for contacts or something] do both of these things and your belly button should heal nicely.

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Whats your trick to winnig in an argument?

pure wit and intelligence, vocabulary and knowledge of everything there is to know, but I don't always win, I'll admit that, I'm not going to be cocky.

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Hey. Okey so i tried typing this into a online translator but the sentence gets all screwed up..and it's not like its a homework or anything..i want to let this guy i like know that i like him. And you said you know french soo.. Anyway i thought it would be cute to do it in french since that's how we met..he was tutoring me :) anyway this is hwta i'd like translated : Iäm writing to let you know that i can't stop thinking about you. You are constantly on my mind. You are a unforgettable person with an amazing personality. I'd never be able to describe what i like about you..because that would take me forever.
Can you translate that?
THANK YOU soo sooo sooo incredibly much.


BTW, you are sooo pretty!

aww thanks! haha yeah i could translate that for you, no problem, sorry for the late response, i haven't been on in a while, so if it still means anything...

Iäm writing to let you know that i can't stop thinking about you. You are constantly on my mind. You are a unforgettable person with an amazing personality. I'd never be able to describe what i like about you..because that would take me forever

becomes...

Je t'ecrit a laisser tu sais que je ne m'arretes pas de toi. Je pense de toi tout le temps, tu es une personne incroyable avec une formidable personalite. Je ne pourrais pas expliquer les choses que j'aime de toi, parce que ca me prendrait toujours..

it's not exact, but it gets all the main points. hope i helped.

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Does anyone know how to make your picture smaller? I tried this one program Adobe Photoshop and zoomed out of the pic then saved it. But it was back to the normal size. Please Help!!!

if you do the HTML code to put a picture like on a myspace comment or something just put

That's the easiest way I could tell you, or there's also a couple of programs, any photo editing program will have that.

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is it bad to blow-dry your hair everyday? like i shower everyday in the morning, and for school i blowdry my hair so it lies flat- is that damaging for my hair?

Heat is generally bad for your hair. If at all possible, you should blow-dry your hair on "cold" or let it air-dry. Heat damage to hair usually leaves it frayed and unruly when not properly taken care of, it can cause split-ends too. So take care of your hair, use heat-safe spray or something to lessen the damage on your hair. Hope I helped.

-Angel

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So I like a freshman and I'm a sophomore, and I'm a girl. He has a girlfriend [also a freshman] and I'm not too disappointed but I was considering hooking up with him if at all possible, I'm not sure if he's interested, right now I basically just have a small crush on him and we have a class together, that's it. What should I do?

If he's interested, then let him know how you feel too. Maybe you should wait and see how he is with his girlfriend, you shouldn't want to interfere, that brings drama. Especially don't go for him when he has a girlfriend if all you want to do is "hook up" with him. The age factor doesn't matter, at all. Hope I helped.

-Angel

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wats it mean 4 your cherry to pop???? and when does it pop???

Sorry if this si a stupid question but i need the anwser

The term "Cherry" refers to a girl's hymen, it's like a "wall." It's broken usually by sexual intercourse, or insertion of a tampon, it is usually slightly painful when broken, and some say they bleed afterwords. No question is a stupid question. Hope I helped.

-Angel

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What does 'bj' mean....... and what does'hj' mean???

BJ- Blowjob
HJ- Handjob

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If you read this, Id like you to respond. And Id like you to post your age. Consider it a survey. Respond as briefly or as long-winded-ly as youd like, but please respond.

What is love to you? How do you define love? How do you tell when you are in love with someone?

Answer me these questions three and then we'll see what love means to thee!

Love is different to everyone I believe. But I do believe strongly in all kinds of love, friends, family, significant others, etc. How do you know you're in love? It's not something you'll know by reading a book on it, it's just a feeling that only comes around once, maybe a couple times in a lifetime. How would I define love? A strong emotion that is unlike any other, you feel it all the time, regardless whether you're in love with a particular person or not, it comes in all shapes and sizes and in all forms. Love makes the world go 'round, and the more you have in your life, the better. Love, it's; compassion, excitement, passion, intimate, friendly, attraction. Of course, you don't feel all these feelings towards one particular thing. You can love your mom, your dad, food, pet, plant, couch, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister, but not all in the same way. It's a very complicated emotion, but it's hard to miss once uncovered.

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If God gives humanity purpose and meaning, what gives God purpose and meaning?

Is God meaningless and purposeless?! If so, wouldn't that mean that humans are just meaningless and purposeless, and that their "meaning" and "purpose" given by God is purely arbitrary?

God is a belief, so are you then asking if people that don't believe in God have no purpose or meaning? If that's the case, I think not, because I believe that all people have purpose and meaning regardless their religion or beliefs. We give ourselves meaning and purpose by living our lives. For those that do believe in God or gods, he gives himself purpose and meaning simply by being his divine godly self.

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i want to get my boyfriend something for his birthday.my problem is that he says he doesnt want anything..so what do i do?

hes turning 15

It all depends on what kind of guy he is, and what types of thing he's into, but since yall are going out, get him something meaningful to the both of you, something for him to remember you by when you're not there or something. Don't get him something that his mom or his friends would get him, be original. It's really hard but anything that you get him he will appreciate because it's the thought that counts. For example, my friend made her boyfriend 3 different framed picture collages, one said "I" in block lettering, inside was filled with pictures of eyeballs, the next one was shaped like a heart and had a bunch of like valentines-ish stuff in it, then the last one was a "U" and inside had a bunch of the letter you.. each picture was mounted on a green background because that's his favorite color, and she wrote a message to him on the back of each picture. It's the thought that counts, it probably didn't cost her too much to do either. Good luck and hope I helped.

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I've always dreaded the first day of school just because I don't deal with change very well. I know that it's not as bad as I think it'll be, it's always fine. But I still get panic attacks and get really sick the night before and that morning. Any advice on how I can overcome this?

School is never going to change, you're always going to have teachers, books, paper, pencils and all that other stuff. As for the panic attacks, there is medication for that sort of thing that you may want to look into. You get panic attacks from being anxious, so you should really try to calm down and not get too excited for school. Hope I helped.

Angel

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