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24Member Since:
May 26, 2004Answers:
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about
Hello! I am studying esthetics at an Aveda Institute after spending years in retail. I am proof that nothing turns out how you think it will, and that's a good thing. When you think you've got it figured out, you don't. Life would be boring otherwise, right?Makeup, skincare, and psychology are my passions and I'm also happy to give advice on relationships, particularly for teenagers (so many things I wish I could have told myself a decade ago!) I'm happy to help fellow abuse survivors as well.
I'm a diehard SF Giants fan and also enjoy watching the Sharks and Niners. Addicted to music, especially The Gaslight Anthem. Oh, and my name is Krista. :)
advice
My stepmother and my father have been married for awhile now. She's the classic evil stepmother. She made it so we hardly see our father, he is wipped. She targeted my sister when she was my older 16 (awhile ago) when we didn't call for Mother's day the first year they were married. It was messed up but we were really polite. She emailed my sister mean messages, my sister was only kind back, she got my father to take her of of his insurance once she was 18 (when it would have been FREE to have her on until she's 26 because of the family plan and she's in college). She yelled at my father's sweet mother, threw a present at her head, is really mean to my whole father's side. There is something wrong with her I think, my mother took her emails to a therapist and she said that she is unstable and dangerous emotionally. Now I'm 18 and about to graduate. My father wants to bring her and stunned I said I would try to get her a ticket. Now she emailed my sister saying she "wants to rebuild their relationship" which has happened with my Grandmother in the past and my Grandma would apologize and then my stepmother would do something outrageous and hurtful again.
So I need to know what to do about this. My idea was to tell my Dad that if she comes she can't speak to my mother, sister, or younger brother (not my Dad's son). And that she also can't email my sister. He will probually think I'm being disrespectful but to condone his and her behavior would be the real disrespectful thing to do. Any suggestions?
Here's the thing. She is a person with free will, and neither you nor your dad can stop her from speaking to whoever she wants. You have no way to enforce that.
I don't usually recommend lying, but you could just say that you were unable to get a ticket for her. Or just tell your dad the truth...that you aren't comfortable with your stepmom coming and would rather it just be him. At worst, he'll just refuse to come...and ya know what, that's his loss, not yours.
You and your sister (and other family members involved) need to stay strong and ignore her attempts to suck you back in- you already know what's gonna happen, so why bother? People like that just don't change (at least without therapy), so just do your best to distance yourself. Maybe even change email addresses so that she can't contact you anymore.
-Krista 21/f
Okay...so I know this is like a REALLY weird question...BUT! I want to start like wearing thongs...and I'm 13(yes I'm young I know) but I have no idea what to tell my mom I can't just say "Hey mom I wanna start wearing thongs let's go buy some!" not happening! I need some advice on how to ask/tell my mom what I want to do..help? Thank youu( :
You don't have to necessarily bring it up in an obvious way. Next time you guys are shopping, just say you need new underwear, then when you're there, point out ("oh these are cute) or just pick up some thongs. You could also say "would you be ok with me wearing these?" Be prepared for her to ask why, though.
Name:lauren
Age:12
Where:Australia
I put on a tampon just to try it on then I took it off.by the way I have got my pirods but I wasn't due then.then I have been felling dizzy and week for the past 4 days.then I typed up on the computer(can tampond kill you)they said yes you should not use them
Then I got sceard.could I die?
If you leave a tampon in for too long (i.e. more then 3-4 hours), you can develop Toxic Shock Syndrome, which can be deadly. However, it is extremely unlikely that you have that.
Alright... There are a lot of things that go into this. I'm a 17 1/2 year old Senior in high school. I am a little overweight and have some very deep personal insecurities. In August 2010, I met someone on an online game and started talking to him. We got together in December of that year, and just passed our one-year mark. I've never met him in person, mostly because he's 22, and he lives across the country. For this Christmas I asked for a plane ticket. Yeah, I know what you're probably thinking; I'm crazy for wanting to do that. Granted, I've heard about the stories, and I'm NOT the kind of person that jumps into everything. I won't do something unless I have full confidence in it. I know he's not like those horn dogs people always talk about because he's just not like that. I know for a fact that he's different because of how he talks to me; I've talked to 'those' kind of guys before, and I knew not to get involved with them because I knew what was on their mind. But he's different. The things he's experienced in his life has made him mature and the kind of person that didn't lie and was a fighter. Ever since 7th grade I've been dreaming of having a boyfriend. I've never had one, never been kissed, literally nothing. I've thought about how my parents would feel and I acknowledged them on that, but they won't even try looking at my side of the situation. They don't know how much I've been hurt over the years or how deep my insecurities really go. I know for a fact that if I was able to fly out and visit him that I'd be much happier. I wouldn't stay there because I know now is not the time to do that. But if I could just see him, just for a couple days, they don't know how happy that'd make me. I practically poured my heart to my mom last night crying and telling her about how horrible I've always felt, and also that since I've met him just talking to him has helped; unlike them. They don't trust my word that he's different. I know I'm still young, and I really do appreciate how they are feeling, but at the same time I want to prove to them that he's a good guy and that I can do this. I know a lot more than they think I know and I'm a very thorough person when it comes to important matters like this. They will say one thing, I'll give them proof why they're wrong, then they switch to another excuse until it comes down to "There is no reason; It's becasue I said so!" Really, I don't ask for things often because I've only ever wanted one thing; and like I said, they aren't even willing to consider my point of view. I understand their concerns. But I want to reassure them that it's ok and to give him a chance and trust my word that I trust him, because I know I can.
Know that you can NOT always trust your own judgement- something you most likely haven't learned yet because you haven't had a boyfriend. I've known guys in person that I truly trusted, thought they were great, and they turned out to be lying, cheating jerks. The guy I thought I was gonna marry ended up breaking my heart in the worst way. That's just how life is, nobody is perfect or knows everything.
I understand wanting, even needing to know what's gonna happen.
So if it's so important, and he really is such a great guy, why don't you have him fly out to visit you instead? You could split the costs and have him stay at a hotel or whatever. Get to actually know each other (bringing a parent with you the first time to be safe), have a first date and so forth.
If he really cares, he'll understand your parents' concern and do that for you. It's safer and a better option.
-Krista, 21/f
20/f in college, living at home. therefore, in a way, i guess i feel obligated to work. it's not that my family is MAKING me work, but if i don't work, i don't have any money. i have friends who left for college, and their parents give them like a monthly allowance, which i think is fair. if i'm going to school full time and am planning on getting a master's (so I need to get good grades, so I can get into grad school), i think i should get some form of income/allowance from my parents. i don't think i'm asking for a lot. i have a friend who gets $1000 dollars a month. i would be happy with $400. Just so that I can eat lunch and maybe do my nails . that's all. but, my mom doesn't work. i don't think she has an interest in working because she's been out of work for so long, that she would probably hate to go back. i try to be involved on campus, because i think it's important. it's good for your own development, for your application to grad school, and just to be able to enjoy your time in the university. there are certain involvements that you get paid for, such as orientation leader or student government. So, I'm looking into that. Right now, I'm working on campus. the only one who could give me the allowance is my dad. he doesn't live with us and i ask him for money all the time, but i feel bad. it's like i have to drag him here. i wish i had someone to support me. i feel like a brat... but i just want to be able to enjoy myself and get good grades, because after this... i will be working, and things change. I will have much more adult responsibilities, and I'm trying to take in this special time that I was granted. I love all of my involvements and I've made so many friends and love everything I've been able to participate in. I just wish that I could use that time at work to be studying or exercising. That way, I wouldn't feel as tired. lol. Does anyone have any ideas of how I can approach this situation? or how I can make some extra money on the side?
thank you!
I think you really need to realize how lucky you are. I'm the same age, at a community college, working 40 hours a week and going to school. I have to pay for all of my own stuff- even food- and don't have a car or way of paying for anything beyond an associate's degree. Once you turn 18 and are an adult, you are responsible for making your own money. And let's be realistic here, there's a reason "poor college student" is a cliche. You're not supposed to have extra money for unnecessary things like manicures, you're supposed to be working hard (often not sleeping much) and paying for the things that matter. Find cheaper ways for the things you want (for instance, buy some nice nail polish and learn to do your own nails- it's wayy cheaper and saves a bunch of money.) The only way you could make some extra money on the side is by picking up another job, but that might be too much depending on your classes.
You can still 'enjoy yourself' during college, and actually, you'll have plenty of time to after, unless you're planning on having some 90-hours-a-week job or something. Just focus on the things that really matter and you'll be fine :)
I dont know what to do. Im only 14 and ive been in a relationship with this boy for a year, on and off now, and he's been talking about us having a child. Ive been really thinking about this and I really feel like Im ready for something like this. I know its not exactly a walk in the park bringing up a child and that it isnt something i can just forget about if i get fed up of the responsibilities. I do want to have a child with him now but honestly im not sure if I should. I saw what you said to some girls question and just thought youd be able to help. Please reply, Im not sure who else to ask.
Thanks:) x
And how exactly are you planning on paying for this? You're 14, in most states you can't even get a real job.
Do you know how much having a baby costs? Doctor visits, diapers, toys, food, clothes. That baby will turn into a toddler, then a child, then a teenager, and the costs will only increase. The average cost of raising of child from birth to age 18 is $222,360. (Google it if you don't believe me.) That's not including the cost of college. Where are you going to get the money from? Where are you going to live? (Mooching off your parents would be incredibly selfish.)
Having a baby now would be selfish and unfair to it. That child will not be raised the way they deserve- and why? Because you can't wait a few years? You have such a huge window of time that you can have kids. You only get to be a teenager and grow up once. Don't ruin your life and an innocent child's.
I understand your feelings, really I do- it's a hormonal thing- but having a child would be just plain wrong, even if that's not what you want to hear.
What should I do? My 34 yr. old daughter has gained a substantial amt. of weight w/n the past 3+ yrs. since her job relocated her to a state on the other side of the country where we have no family and she does not make friends easily. She runs & sometimes wks out w a trainer, but she is very heavy below the waist (from sz 10 to sz 16 pants). She has gone to dr. about it & has learned that she inherited a gene (a disease) for very lg. & heavy legs. She should wear special hose, but she won't. She is a beautiful woman, but is self-conscious abt the heaviness & wears long pretty summer dresses. The problem is, in the back, she has alot of jiggly & u can c the bumps & lumps & she wears thong undies. I gingerly suggested that she wear an undergarment to smoothe. She absolutely refuses! She said she is NOT wearing a girdle! She is a classy & professional woman, but the jiggle & bumps are unattractive. We got into a big argument (screaming match) & she started crying, as though I am picking on her and she is visiting me now in Md. I am so upset and so is she. You can cut the air w a knife. She has even gone and had her seamstress line the dresses, but you can still see the lumps, bumps and jiggle. It takes so much away from her beauty, class and style. I asked her if she has seen herself w a 3 way mirror. My daughter is in denial and I do not want the world laughing at her. She's classier and smarter than that. I do not understand why she refuses to accept that she needs the smoothing that even a half slip with lycra can add.
I'm gonna have to agree with everyone else here- it is absolutely none of your business- how would you like it if you were her age and had your parent telling you what to wear? How she looks is her choice, not yours.
i know on july 4th i wrote about my grandfather passing well, he did pass away six days later and i found two songs that were really about losing someone that wasnt a rap song. does anyone have any songs besides miley cyrus i miss you, mariah carey's songs?
thanks
Ray Tarantino- Into The End
Christina Aguilera- Hurt
this is a poem i did i have bad anxiety its not about me its one of these poems where you need to think what its about in a life situation im fifteen =] thanks
>
Its only a voice she crenched with fear Dont make me feel superior Im only here.
Dont mutter my words dont Violate my space Dont touch my tears Dont Look at my face
Because Ill smile when Im Hated and ill frown when im not . Ill retaliate to your speech because when your so cold i feel so hot . Let me be here forever let us hold hands and open arms wide in this beautiful weather
she quoted and then sang she laughed and then smiled . For the first time in her life she never felt so mild
the feels of her justice fell thorugh the sky her red lipstick smudged Proves her life was never a lie .
Just one more minuite she said to herself her body quivered through determination and though that she smiled one last time Let me love the people i once dislliked let me make a provision
let me draw a line.
It felt she was derierating into a dust so fine . As sudden as the cold weather went through that the sun started to shine . >>>>
EDIT: Well excuse me for trying to help you. No rough draft is ever perfect, I happen to have some poems published in magazines and the like. I didn't say "you have to do this"- all just ideas. No need to get all defensive. Clearly you do have a lot of issues if you respond like that. Real writers know that criticism, not compliments, is what they need.
I really, really liked it, but saying that isn't helpful, so...
- Crenched? I'm not sure if that's a word (sorry for sounding like an idiot if it is, but you might wanna replace it with something more used)
- Inferior, not superior- superior means better than, which doesn't make sense
- The phrase about retaliating is too long- maybe "i'll react cause when you're cold i feel so hot"
That's not exactly it- the rhythm's still off- but something shorter, more like the smile/hated frown/not line.
- The line after that needs some work, too. Too long and just kind of awkward. I can't think of a fix for it right now, you may just want to cut it and rewrite it shorter and minus the cliches about staying forever and beautiful weather.
- Line after that: "she quoted, she sang, she laughed and she smiled"- flows better. Line after that doesn't flow either, too many syllables.
- The "feels" of her justice? Not sure what that's supposed to mean.
- "Her red lipstick smudged proves it wasn't a lie"- more concise
- Just one more minute line-
"A minute, she said to herself as she quivered. determination made her smile one last time. let me love mine enemies, let me make a provision, let me draw a line."
- "She disintegrated into a dust so fine, the cold went through her, warm winds took her far...where the ice had no hold on how the sun could shine"
Please don't think that I hate your poem or that I'm trying to make it into something else. I like it a lot, which is why I'm trying to offer specific suggestions. General ideas like "be less vague" don't help. Obviously you don't have to do anything I said- just some food for thought.
Good luck, that really has a lot of potential.
ok so basically i am arab female. some of the stereotypes of not being as "liberated" as the women of the west do apply to this question and my circumstances:
well i am not supposed to have a boyfriend ...etc. its in my culture. and i never did! and i am totally fine with that.....but i lied...... i told my new "friends" when i moved towns that i did just to fit in and not seem like a weirdo (since i moved countries) .... it made me look wiser and more experienced... and well... liked.....thing is i regret lying about that and i don't know what to do.
if i tell my friends they'll be in shock coz they trusted me. i'll look like a stupid fraud (i know i know... who cares what people say).... and if i didn't somehow i know it'll get to my mother and father. if i tell them first no education -period- for me.
aside from those lies i hung out with a crowd that in my home country would be considered bad and unacceptable... oh and it included guys....now if i dealt with them in a different way i could have still saved the friendship... but since i kind of ignored the "rules" and bent them a bit ... well i sorta regret the image i created for myself... if my mom and dad find out i am gunna look like (in their eyes) a slut who accepts anything, a lier, irresponsible, careless, stupid, and not raised well..... a disappointment....
before anything though, i must say that really i feel guilty SOOO much that i am planning on leaving my life long dream in a philosophy major (since that is where that bad influence according to mom and dad is coming from) and am willing to reconstruct my image.... it hurts so much to leave the major but i guess i deserve this.... i should have seen it coming....
the problem is my brother and sisters know about this (i don't know how much they know or how...) and they don't believe a word i say anymore because of all the lies (i brought this onto my self i deserve this ) so my brother is sacrificing a great chance in building his career to come and live with me and sister so that to ensure i don't cause myself a destruction of my future and get us all sent back without a n edu (i feel like crap)....
my question: how can i keep my friends but restore all the limits and values i had eliminated, one? and prevent them from saying anything (they won't intentionally... but thinking as it is normal to them its normal to mention me and stuff and i am afraid within the community it;ll get to my family...) and two how can i prove myself to my family and fix what i can from the damage.... i really screwed up. and pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee don't tell me talk to my mum and dad it will not work,wher i come from talking to higher figures of authority is not conceivable..... and with my sibs they totally understand what i have to say but again its not enough to show them that i understand what i did..... i really want things to go back to normal... how do i get things back!!
i am doomed right??? :S :S :S :S :S :S
You're not doomed and you need to calm down.
For your friends, if they ask about the "boyfriend" tell them you broke up and you don't want to talk about it. Fix what you can and move on from what you can't fix.
Don't try to punish yourself. You have done nothing terrible enough to deserve leaving your dream behind. If you are unhappy you will possibly revert to your old behaviors. Move on, that's all. Tell your brother and sisters that you are sorry about the lies you told, that you were trying to fit in but you realize what a mistake it was and you will not do it again. Your brother most certainly does not need to move in with you, do your best to make sure he doesn't. Tell him your sister will let him know if you do anything wrong. Now just change your behavior. Tell yourself that it won't happen again. Focus on school and your dream, prove to your parents that your major is not the problem. Many people go through a phase like yours and come out of it fine.
Today I put on a pair of navy pants a red tee-shirt that has long sleeves and over that a blue and white stripped tee shirt. It was pretty. Any way around 10:30am my time my mother came into tell me something and that is when she asked me if I liked what I was wearing (and she already knew about a half hour what I was wearing). She said it is beautiful, but way out, but she wouldnt wear it. She kept giving me mixed messages - that it is beautiful, but she wouldnt wear it and do I really like it, and would I wear it to the restaurant that we were going to today with my sister, brother-in-law, and my 2 nephews. So my Mom said to me "Let me ask you something would you wear that to go to Peter Lugers Restaurant". I called her a b*tch and a retard among other things. She also said to me; That I know why you are wearing it, but I dont know if others would understand. But you are not a teenager any more. (I am 52) And of course we said mean things to one another.
She only criticizes my outfits once-in-awhile, but one of the things that went thru my mind is I still felt like I didnt know how to dress. Did I overreact to her original comment which was do you like what you are wearing? And how would you have handled it. (I liked my outfit and I didnt like my outfit.)
I think you may have overreacted, but that was kind of rude of her. Personally my feelings would have been hurt because it does sound as though she is criticizing you. She may have just thought the outfit was inappropriate for the occasion, however she could have said it a different way. You might consider asking her to, in the future, just tell you straight if she thinks an outfit isn't appropriate for somewhere you're going. Try to ignore comments like "I wouldn't wear it"- you're not her, and since she's older she has a different sense of style. You probably shouldn't have called her those names, however.
Personally, I would have said, "Why don't you like my outfit?" If she had a real reason (it was too tight or skimpy to wear to a family dinner) then I would consider her opinion, if not (she thinks it doesn't match) then I would tell her that I respect her opinion, but I like the outfit and want to wear it.
Im 16 and my dad died when i was 8 and my mom recently got married to a guy who used to be in the army. I have two sister and now i have 3 step brothers. He is like way strict and his kids are like perfect angels but me and my sisters have never really been raised that strict and for lack of better words are pretty wild. my mom never really punished us for things and now this guy is trying to control us and take over our lives. What should i do?
It doesn't seem like there's a whole lot you can do. It depends on what he's punished you for and whether or not it's really unfair. Since you admit you grew up in a pretty relaxed household, probably you're just having trouble with rules and guidelines. Hate to say it, but unless he does something truly uncalled for, like hitting you, there's not much you can do. Try talking to your mom about it, tell her you think some of his rules are unfair. Maybe even tell him at a time when you're not mad. In the long run, having rules will help you. Right now it may be frustrating but I promise you'll get used to it. Good luck!
16/f
My mom is 81 years old. My mom doesnt think people should ask for advice online, but I
think people should ask for advice online. Why does my mom feel this way? And if she
doesnt like these online advice websites do you think it should mar how I feel about the
advice I get (which I love). I mean shouldnt I just go by the advice (which makes me feel
good) I get and ignore her comments.
Since your mom is older, she probably doesn't understand the internet. My mom is 47 and doesn't understand it, since she didn't grow up with it. Your mom probably doesn't understand that sometimes asking strangers for advice can be easier.
If you like it, don't worry about what she thinks. My mom bugs me all the time about being on Advicenators.
My cosuin is almost 12 years old and she's very small for her age. She's only 4'8 and she's very very skinny. (The small height runs in the family) Last weekend, I saw her at a cookout and she told me that she'd hadn't eaten in almost a week! I'm worried about her because she won't tell her mother and father and she's already really small and I'm worried that she might have a problem if she doesn't eat! Should I tell her parents or let them find out?
Shannon
The good news is that if it is anorexia, it's in its early stages. I'd be more worried if she wasn't telling you.
I'd call her parents, tell them what she told you. Tell them that you don't know if it's true or not, but that you are a little worried. Chances are it's probably not true, but they should keep an eye on her anyway.
I just started my period and i dont know how to use a tampon.. am i okay if i dont use a tampon at the pool?
No. You can't use a pad obviously, and if you wear nothing you will bleed into the pool. Pretty gross.
Google "how to use a tampon" and you should find some answers.
Tonight my mom and I were talking about jewelry and clothes. She said she didnt care if I buy the jewelry, that it is my money and I should spend it the way I like.. Then we started to talk about clothes. And I told her that I want to go clothes shopping and buy some tee-shirts. She said with all the summer and winter clothes you have you dont need any
more clothes. You need an apartment. I told her that the best times to buy clothes is at the end of the season for two reasons one everyone knows (cheaper) and for another no one knows (they keep some clothes to release at the end of the season). I said to her are you saying you dont think I should ever buy clothes and she said when did I ever say that. She then said to me; that I should wait a couple of months to buy clothes after I pay off my charge card. BUT I FEEL AS IF SHE SAYING SHE DOESNT THINK I SHOULD BUY CLOTHES. YOU SEE SOMETIMES WHEN WE GO TO STORES SHE WILL TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF BUYING. MY QUESTION: AM I OVERREACTING AND IF I AM WHY AND IF I AM NOT WHY NOT?
I think your mother is right, you need to buy important things like an apartment first, and then if you have extra money, buy clothes. Your mom did not say you shouldn't ever buy clothes, she said you have enough clothes right now. Paying off your charge card is important. Honestly it sounds to me like you have a spending problem first. She knows you have a problem and you need to stop. Just from your previous questions I know that you tend to buy way too much- 7 of each color of a purse is beyond ridiculous.
You are overreacting. Pay off your charge card (very, very important), start saving for an apartment. Only buy clothes if it is neccessary, not because you want to.
What is your definition of skinny enough? And when someone says that to you are they implying that you were never skinny or that you were overweight before: Here is the story so you know what I am referring to: STORY: I am thin and A FEW DAYS AGO when I came home from work I changed into a tee-shirt but wore the same pants I wore to work. She asked me as I sat down to eat if I lost weight, and I said no, but this upset me. I said to her that she always tells me I look beautiful. She said you do look beautiful but your pants look bigger. And she told me that I am skinny enough.
She's COMPLIMENTING you. Losing weight has nothing to do with looking beautiful. Pants looking big has nothing to do with losing weight. She's telling you that you are perfect just the way you are, and not to lose any more weight. Thin people don't need to lose weight. Skinny enough means that you look great.
PLEASE KEEP in mind she only said the nasty thing about online advice websites when we were fighting. Three days ago my mom was cranky and
kept snapping at me to the point we had a a tiff. During the course of the fight she said; I
know you ask questions about weight and other things on the computer, these people are
not experts, I see what you do; (But she really does not see because I log out when she
comes near my computer) And of course she and I went back and forth saying nasty things
to one another. (But I like asking and getting advice on Advicenators and other websites
like Advicenators and the advice makes me feel better.) SO MY QUESTION: If you were
me (or even it happened to you) and someone criticizes the people that you get advice
from online how would you handle it? I mean would you ignore, defend it or other (and
tell me what the other is) and why
Your mom is right, seriously. We are not experts her, a lot of people on her are teenaged girls and there are very few if any licensed professionals. You're not going to change her mind, ignore it.
I think the best option for someone like you is to see a licensed professional, however.
Tonight my mom saw me trying to scratch my back. I had a terrible itch. She came over and scatched the itch on my back for me. And in a teasing voice said: ech, you are so bony; Should I be upset or just ignore it. She said it a kidding way.
Ignore it.
Yesterday (Saturday) my mom and I were talking about clothes. I said to her; Do you remember when you said to me that you thought I lost weight because my beige pants looked big on me; she said; well they did look big; I then said; what about the white pants I am wearing today; and she said; they look fine; which made me say; well I feel that every time I wear a pair of pants you are or will be thinking they look big; and she said; That is in your mind, I would have told you if I thought your pants look big - again it is in your mind; AND again today I asked her about the blue pants I am wearing and she said they look fine. SO MY QUESTION: IF YOU WERE ME WOULD YOU FINALLY ACCEPT THE FACT IT WAS JUST THE BEIGE PANTS THAT DAY THAT MADE HER THINK THAT. AND HOW DO I FORGET (NOT DWELL) ABOUT THE COMMENT SHE MADE ABOUT THE BEIGE PANTS"
All of your pants fit you differently.
The beige ones are the only ones your mom thinks are big. She is an honest person, she would have mentioned it if she thought all of your pants look big.
If you can't forget about it by yourself, I'm afraid there's really nothing anyone can say (other than a counselor/psychiatrist/psychologist) that can help you. You need to deal with this yourself.