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Stepmother problem
My stepmother and my father have been married for awhile now. She's the classic evil stepmother. She made it so we hardly see our father, he is wipped. She targeted my sister when she was my older 16 (awhile ago) when we didn't call for Mother's day the first year they were married. It was messed up but we were really polite. She emailed my sister mean messages, my sister was only kind back, she got my father to take her of of his insurance once she was 18 (when it would have been FREE to have her on until she's 26 because of the family plan and she's in college). She yelled at my father's sweet mother, threw a present at her head, is really mean to my whole father's side. There is something wrong with her I think, my mother took her emails to a therapist and she said that she is unstable and dangerous emotionally. Now I'm 18 and about to graduate. My father wants to bring her and stunned I said I would try to get her a ticket. Now she emailed my sister saying she "wants to rebuild their relationship" which has happened with my Grandmother in the past and my Grandma would apologize and then my stepmother would do something outrageous and hurtful again.
So I need to know what to do about this. My idea was to tell my Dad that if she comes she can't speak to my mother, sister, or younger brother (not my Dad's son). And that she also can't email my sister. He will probually think I'm being disrespectful but to condone his and her behavior would be the real disrespectful thing to do. Any suggestions?
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Here's the thing. She is a person with free will, and neither you nor your dad can stop her from speaking to whoever she wants. You have no way to enforce that.
I don't usually recommend lying, but you could just say that you were unable to get a ticket for her. Or just tell your dad the truth...that you aren't comfortable with your stepmom coming and would rather it just be him. At worst, he'll just refuse to come...and ya know what, that's his loss, not yours.
You and your sister (and other family members involved) need to stay strong and ignore her attempts to suck you back in- you already know what's gonna happen, so why bother? People like that just don't change (at least without therapy), so just do your best to distance yourself. Maybe even change email addresses so that she can't contact you anymore.
-Krista 21/f
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Please stop reposting the same question, it is against the guidelines of this website. If you do not like the answers that was given to you when you first posted it on here, than that is your problem.
Either way it goes, you need to be honest with your father. If he doesn't like what you have to say, than chances are he will pick her over you and that'll be the last you hear from your dad.
thats, that.
good luck.
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You can either invite her, get her a ticket, and recognize that once she is invited she is free to speak to other who are there (although you can of course ask her to be civil and respectful.)
Or you can NOT invite her.
But you can't invite her and then tell her not to speak to anyone. That is rude, and it will only antagonize her and make her more likely to misbehave.
My advice, would be to tell your father that you'd LOVE to have him attend your graduation, but that any fence-mending with his wife will need to happen at another time. Being open to 'rebuilding the relationship' with your step-mother is important, but your graduation is about you, and celebrating your accomplishments. If she is really interested in healing the breech, she should understand that that needs to happen at another, less stressful time, for you and your family.
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I believe you should just tell him. If he already knows about the incidents that have been happening, then I suggest you tell him what you want to say. If I were in your place though, I wouldn't let her come either way. As well as tell my father what she has done and been doing to everyone, and show him the evidence. But we are different types of people, so I believe you should just go with your instinct and tell him about not talking to your other family members. Even if it is disrespectful, you can't keep living in that way. Speak up, and make them hear you.
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