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Overreact
Today I put on a pair of navy pants a red tee-shirt that has long sleeves and over that a blue and white stripped tee shirt. It was pretty. Any way around 10:30am my time my mother came into tell me something and that is when she asked me if I liked what I was wearing (and she already knew about a half hour what I was wearing). She said it is beautiful, but way out, but she wouldnt wear it. She kept giving me mixed messages - that it is beautiful, but she wouldnt wear it and do I really like it, and would I wear it to the restaurant that we were going to today with my sister, brother-in-law, and my 2 nephews. So my Mom said to me "Let me ask you something would you wear that to go to Peter Lugers Restaurant". I called her a b*tch and a retard among other things. She also said to me; That I know why you are wearing it, but I dont know if others would understand. But you are not a teenager any more. (I am 52) And of course we said mean things to one another.
She only criticizes my outfits once-in-awhile, but one of the things that went thru my mind is I still felt like I didnt know how to dress. Did I overreact to her original comment which was do you like what you are wearing? And how would you have handled it. (I liked my outfit and I didnt like my outfit.)
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I think you may have overreacted, but that was kind of rude of her. Personally my feelings would have been hurt because it does sound as though she is criticizing you. She may have just thought the outfit was inappropriate for the occasion, however she could have said it a different way. You might consider asking her to, in the future, just tell you straight if she thinks an outfit isn't appropriate for somewhere you're going. Try to ignore comments like "I wouldn't wear it"- you're not her, and since she's older she has a different sense of style. You probably shouldn't have called her those names, however.
Personally, I would have said, "Why don't you like my outfit?" If she had a real reason (it was too tight or skimpy to wear to a family dinner) then I would consider her opinion, if not (she thinks it doesn't match) then I would tell her that I respect her opinion, but I like the outfit and want to wear it.
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I think at first she thought it wasn't good to wear to a restaurant and wanted you to wear something more fancy. Also, when she said she wouldn't wear it, that might have just meant that she liked it but it wasn't her taste. There are lots of things that I see and like but wouldn't wear.
But anyway I think thought you should wear something fancier or nicer to the restaurant. I don't think she meant to criticize your style.
I think you might have overreacted a little, but it wasn't your fault. you just didn't understand what she was trying to say. She could have been a little more clear. If I were you, I think I would have asked her a few questions. I'd ask, "Do you think it's a pretty outfit?" and then, "Do you think I should wear it to the restaurant?" If she said no, maybe I'd ask her to help me pick an outfit that would be better.
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It sounds like your mom didn't think your outfit was appropriate for where you were going. Or maybe she just plain out didn't like it, or didn't think it looked good on you. But she probably didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying what she really thought. Or perhaps she realizes that you're an adult and that she can't or shouldn't tell you what to wear anymore. So instead of just coming out and saying "I think you should wear something else", she tried to drop hints about it in hopes that you would realize your "error" and change clothes.
Yeah, I think you probably did overract a bit, but the good thing is... you can tell her you're sorry. That doesn't mean you think she was right, it just means that you're sorry for calling her mean names.
If it happens again, just say, "Thanks mom, I appreciate your opinion, but I feel comfortable in this and I don't want to change." Or, if you're not really sure that you like what you're wearing, then why not change into something else and make your mom happy? Giving in to her won't make you a weak person... it will actually make you a stronger person for putting someone else's feelings in front of your own.
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