about

hey, i'm not a very nice person if i get pissed off, but i've gone through a lot in my life so i think that i can give good advice on a lot of things. if anyone isn't sure that they can talk to someone because they don't understand then feel free to IM me on my AIM and i can talk to you, and i don't mind letting you guys know about my past.
*~*shan*~*


ps
(this is my favorite quote) "as long as you've got one person in the world, you've already betten the odds"



advice

I snuck out last night and went to see my boyfriend. His parents found out I snuck out, and they're telling MY parents. How do I get outta this? I can't tell my parents the truth before they call, because what if they don't even call? I already talked to his mom, and shes not happy with me, and shes not willin to give me another chance. What do I do?

Thanks!! A BUNCH!

there's nothing you can do unless you want to tell your parents the truth, you've just got to wait

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ok this is a long one.
i dont know where to start so i might scatter, when i turned 8 my mom moved away from my dad a said we could not see him for awhile (another long story so dont ask why just accept it) my sis and i were crushed my dad was like bill cosby we spent our summers with him he did everything with us theres no telling where we would have been if the events would have been diffrent. so our whole lives we told each other that when we turn 18 we would find him. my dad had remarried and had a wonderful new wife (she was so good i called her mom) and she had a great son. the last summer we spent together was when i was 8 my brother was 3 that summer he choked on some ice, i had just took cpr lessons at camp so i gave him the hymlec and he survied.in 1996 i was 16/17 and my mom said we could talk to my dad so she called my dads family only to hear them say they are so sorry to hear what happened and asked why we werent at the funeral my mom didnt get it. she ask what what happen. so my cousin break the news she say pappa(thats what they called my dad) killed my stepmom and my little brother i was in total shock i could not breath 2months earlier my boyfriend died in front of me.and to get this news it was the worse. he stab my stepmom 66times and broke my brothers head against the kitchen floor. after he did that he cut his throat drank drano cut his wrist and and stabbed his self in the stomach and drug the knife up to his ribs. He claimed he was insane and even the prosicuters thearpise said he was insane. my question is what am i to do? can i forgive or what i love him he is my dad we have the same eyes when i look into the mirror i see him should i no is it possible for me to forgive him? my sis has been in contact with him for awhile and we came down for one of his trials 2day i saw him. i thought that if i looked into his eye then i could see the truth i had was anger inside i wanted to let him have it. but i chickened out should i scream and yell would it help me or what should i do?pls i need help

it's ok to still love your dad, though trust would be out the window, i don't think that seeing him is the best idea either. you and your brother should most likely be in therapy because that is something very tramatic to have to go through

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ok so this girls mom i know just died and my mom told me to go up to her and say something but im not sure what to say. someone please help me

just tell her that if she needs something or someone to talk to then you'll be there, make sure that she's got your screen name and phone number (home or cell) just someone who'll be there for her

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my dad recently died and i cried a lot when it happened but the day after i didnt really cry but i think about it a lot. I was wondering if if it is wrong not to be crying and should be.

this might sounds strange, but you're simply expressing your hurt in a different way than most people. some people who have loved ones die are bawling for weeks, while some people don't cry at all. something that might help to get your feelings out would be a journal, that way you're not holding in how you feel and you won't be forced to cry

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Five minutes ago, I was trying to talk to my aunt and all of a sudden, my mom bursts in our convo and starts yelling at me asking "Why didn't you ask me!??!" "Don't talk to me like that!" She didn't give me a chance to talk so she kept yelling and so I yelled back and then she blamed me for things I didn't do! She totally humiliated me infront of my aunt! This always happens! What do I do to prevent this..and What can I do about the situation now? If you tell me to say sorry to my stupid-ass mom, I'll give you a 1. It seems like she wants attention, but whatever..help if you can..all 5's for reasonable answers.

my mom can be a pain in the ass too, but it doesn't sound like your mom respects you to much, talk to your aunt about maybe staying with her for a while until your mom can start to care about you the way a mother should

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I cheered competativly for 5 years, I don't like cheerleading anymore so I refused to tryout for my middle school squad. My mom and I battled for 2 weeks about this, but I won and its to late now to turn in the forms. Now no one will talk to me in my family, and if they do its some sarcastic or mean remark to make me feel stupid. Sorry for the length but i need help, i dread goin home after school everyday now!! Plz help, I'll rate high :)

if your family is going to be like that about something as small as cheerleading (no offence to all of you girls who enjoy it, i do too) then they all need to grow up. it's not their choice what you want to do with your life. if you want to play another sport then they should support you in that, that's what a real family does.

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I have been living with my aunt carla for 5 years now, and about 2-3 months ago her 2 older boys moved out.. when they did me and my aunt got along really good , but about a month ago both of them moved back.. now i always fight w/ her and i cant stand it.. she gets stressed over my 2 cousins that moved back and expects me to do everything in the house because 'the boys are lazy ' but i always say ' they live here, just like i do , they should also do stuff to help out ' and my aunt was like they both work.. but now one of my cousins quit his job and all he does is put my aunt in a bad mood & so that makes her always mad @ me ! ne ways.. my aunt carla wants me to move in with my aunt barbara.. i love my aunt barbara, and get along with her so much better but she doesnt seem like shes in a good finanical place right now... another reason why i dont like it where i live is that if i wana go out in my back yard and tan one of my cousins will come out and say im fat and all this other stuff, like im a whore ! it brings me down alot, even though it shouldnt.. but if i lived with my other aunt i wouldnt have that problem.. i love my aunt carla, but i cant stand living with her sons any more.. any advice ?

if you're that unhappy there then i think that you should move in with your other aunt, ask her if she'd like you to get a job to help out with the money and that way you'll be happy and she'll have help

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sorry is this is long but I really need help so please don't skip over it
Ok my parents have been divorced my whole life I don't even know who my dad is. Well my mom has serious problems with finding guys. They usually beat her or cheat on her. I've had about a dozen stepfathers and all of them treat her like shit and she doesn't deserve that. Well my newest stepfather Richie has been with my mother for 2 years now and she is really happy with him. I've never seen my mom this happy before. He is soo nice to her. But the thing is he has a son (my stepbrother) who is constantly hitting me and raping me. I tried talking to my mom about it and she said that she would talk to my stepdad and my stepbrother. She did and then it stopped for a little while but then he did it again and it was even worse than it was before. He had a couple of his friends over and they thought that it would be fun to beat and rape his 14 year old step sister. I talked to my stepdad and he told me to stop making things up. He told my mother that I was making things up and they sent me to a shrink. Needless to say my stepbrother continued to do these things to me. I confronted my mother again and she told me to talk to my stepdad. I did and he told me that I was lying and that even if I wasn't I needed to get over it because we are a happy family and we all have to make sacrifices I told him that that was wrong and he hit me! Now he's been hitting me too when my mom isn't around. I don't know what to do. She is soo happy and she deserves to be. I don't want to ruin this for her. My question is should I just deal with this so that she can be happy or is there anyway that I can get help without ruining this for her?

that's true your mother does deserve to be happy, and so do you, you should be your mom's first priority not some guy. now i'm sorry to get personal but if you were a virgin before your mom got married to this guy then you should have her take you to a doctor. you really should go to the police though they can do what is called a rape kit on you and it will show your mother how serious the situation is. if your step brother is leaving marks on you then you need to show them to your mother. tell her that if something isn't done about it then when the police find out you'll be taken away from her and both her husband and son could be arrested. if she doesn't want that to happen then she needs to do something about the situation that's going on in your house. you don't deserve to be hurt that way, and if you ever need to talk i'm online most of the time don't heasitate to IM me at fOrUrLoVe08 hope i helped

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My brother died 2 weeks ago and I really don't know what to do. I lived with him because my mom died 3 years ago and my dad used to beat and rape me. He was more like a father than a brother to me and I really don't know what to do. I've been staying with my friend until I get a foster family and she is always asking me if I'm ok and I'm really not. I don't know what to do with myself. I even tried drugs and I've been drinking a lot. I just want to kill myself and I'm so scared of what's going to happen next. I love him soo much and he was pretty much all that I had and now he's gone. I haven't even cried because I just can't, does that mean that there's something wrong with me? Why can't I just cry like normal people do when something happens to them? I really think that I'm a horrible because I can't even cry for my own brother. Please help me

some people handle tragedy differently, some cry, you're most likely repressing which isn't good. you've got to get some of it out because i've found out the hard way that if you hold things in they will explode at the worst possible time. you need to talk to your friend who clearly cares aboutyou. you're going to be put in a situation soon where you don't know anyone. maybe you could talk to your friend about her parents adopting you that way you will be sure that you'll have a loving family and a place that feels like home

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Ok sorry that this is long but please don't pass over it I really need help.
My parents aren't divorced but they both cheat on each other they basically both get with anything that moves of the opposite sex. My dad is always drunk and is very abusive. My mom isn't physically abusive but she just tells me that I'm a waste of life and that she wishes she never had me and that I'm such a huge mistake and bla, bla, bla but her boyfriend Tom hits me all the time and even rapes me sometimes. I've gone to the police before and they took my parents side because to everyone else they look like such nice people. But at night they're druggies and alcoholics. I even went to social sevices they put me in a home for a week where I started cutting and then they put me right back with them! Lately I met a guy who uses drugs and I've been going out with him. And we were using and did some things and now I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. He was arrested for possesion so I can't go to him. I can't go to my parents. I really don't have any friends who aren't stoners and all they care about is how they're going to get their next fix. I don't know what to do. I've already tried killing myself and it didn't work. I'm soo scared I don't know what to do. I was going to run away but I know that I'll just end up somewhere where there's drugs and I'm really trying to stop. What can I do about all of this? Please help me

hunny you've got to get out of that house. if they are doing all of these horrible things at night then that's when you need to contact the police, killing yourself isn't an option you're letting them win if you do that, think about your baby that child doesn't deserve to feel the reprocusions of you're parents mistakes. if you ever need to talk the feel free to IM me at fOrUrLoVe08

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hey.. i have a VERRRY bad situation. My mom and dad are getting a divorce and i dont know what to do! Is it my fault? What can i do (if possible) to get them back together? i love my mom and my dad but when they yell and scream its hard for me to love either one of them.... plz plz plz help!! Everytime i think about it it makes me cry!!

my parents have been through this, when i was 7, generally it's not the childs fault, *except for my case* there's nothing that you can do about it because it's not your choice. your parents have to decide if they love each other enough to be together. most of the time divorced parents don't get back together. the most that you can do is talk to them about how you're feeling and tell them that this divorce is hurting you because you don't want to see your family breaking up

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my friends mom is lets say not the nicest person in the world. my friend comes into school with bruses (not big ones but they shoulden't be there in the first place) and fingernail marks on her. i ask her and she just says her mom and her got in an argument, and not to worry, but i do. i really want to help her but i don't know what to do. please help

you should worry, it sounds like your friend is being abused and that is something huge you need to talk to someone such as your mom. she'd be the best person to ask about something like that. mom's always seem to know the right thing to do in situtaionslike that

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My Mum hates me she hits me all the time wat can I do?

talk to someone, a trusted adult, or even call the police and tell them that you're being abused. no child deserves to get hit by their parent

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im grounded....not allowed to do anything, just recently quite doing drugs and all that bad shit. Ive been grounded for like 2 months now....and today(interesting how its 4-20) my dad comes up to me and tells me he knows im doing something wrong, and hes gunna find out what it is...im like.....UHHH ok good fuckin luck faggot!!!I didnt do anything wrong!!!nothing and suddenly now he thinks he knows me and he thinks he knows wen im doing something wrong..wen ive been coming home high almost every weekend for the past year and he never knew....Im so mad cuz i didnt do anything and he suddnely doesnt trust me anymore, right wen i thought i was earning his trust back....what should i do?? he just went out to dinner and ive been calling him every 15 mins and letting him know im still home and i aint doin shit!i told him that i was mad and hung up on him..!!I have enuff problems and he makes them 10 millions times worse.....is that wat parents are here for or something???

did it ever occur to you that he knew what you were doing? don't ask how or why but parents always know. and could it be that he doesn't trust you because you used to be a drug addict? my oldest brother used to be the same way and my mother still won't trust him. you need to earn your parents trust back until then he's still going to act like you're doing something wrong because of how long you were doing things wrong. believe me you dad knew what was going on, i just think that he didn't know how to handle it so this is what he's doing. deal with it and start taking responsiblity for the things you have done because that's what your being punished for

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my mom puts me down so much and i dont know what to do anymore...like if i do sumthin shell jus say sumthin rude about it and leave it at that...nothen i do ever is good enoguh for her..all the rude things she says to me makes me cry so much and she dont even think whut she says hurts me...i try to talk to her but she never listen...my dad is even doin it now to..i dont kno whut to do ne more..help

just ignor it, believe me i know how you feel, as long as your parents think what they are doing is ok, then they're not going to stop, most parents believe that if they do something that means they are instantly doing it the right way. when in retrospect a lot of parents have no clue as to how to decently and respectfully raise their kids. try talking to someone like your school councelor and see if you can meet with your parents at a place like your school where you don't have to worry so much about what they are saying and talk to them, if that doesn't work then hey, just start looking for an out-of-state college then they'll be out of your hair and you don't have to talk to them again, that's what i'm doing

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ok sorry if this is kinda long....this is really hard for me to talk about ive never talked about this with anyone other than my aunt...
ok so my 28 year old aunt came and visited me and we are really close...and i was telling her that i think my parents are growing apart...and she said "no offense sweetie, but ive kinda always had a theory that your dad is gay, i mean me and your mom talk and the last time they had sex was when your brother was concieved...10 years ago" and naturally, i did take offense but i didn't tell her...the truth is is that ive always kinda thought the same thing but i haven't told anyone. ive been thinking about it recently because i caught my dad flirting with his boss (who is gay and tells everyone that he is) and my parents haven't spent there last two anniversaries together! my mom was out of state so my dad decided to spend them with his boss!! my dad also uses phrases like "oh my gosh" and "whatever" in a velley girl way...and he is very into fashion...and he is very feminine in everything he does....i mean hes not tall and buff actually quite the opposite...hes about 5'3 and 160 lbs.! I don't know what to do...some of my friends have asked me if hes gay and it really hurts me...but now...im starting to believe them...please help me! What should i do?? should i talk to my mom about this???

- hurt deep down -
Ill rate for anyone who actually takes my feelings into consideration...

try talking to you dad, let him know that you love him and that you want to know if he's hiding anything from you, make sure that you let him know that you're not asking him because you want to judge him, let him know that you're asking because you care and you love him. and if it turns out that he is truly gay, there's nothing wrong with that, i'm sure that you will totally love him all the same. hope i helped
*~*shan*~*

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Most of my friends dads look at porn! My friend told me almost every dad does it! But I thought my dad would never do it but one day i saved my paper I wrote for school and went into my dads documents and I saw all these things like adults only! Then I was going to savethemusic.com and when i typed in s i saw like sexmania.com or somehting like that! So is my dad looking at these things? Well duh but how do I deal with this situation? I wanna tell my mom but what?

talk to your dad, this might be aqward but it needs to be done, tell him that you know about his habits but he needs to stop
*~*shan*~*

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Ever since I was 13 years old, my cousin has been going out with this girl who has always been the same age as me. Also ever since I've never ever liked her that much. I know my cousin loves this girl and all but I dunno what to do about how I feel about her. Most other family members I have know I don't like her but then I dunno what to do anyway. Any suggestions? I'd like to have more prospectives with this situation.
signed,
Lost

talk to your cousin and tell him that you're not comfortable, just remember that in the end it's his decision not yours
*~*shan*~*

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Hi. My names Kylie and this is my situation. I live with my older sister because my dad left and my mom died when I was born. I'm 13 and she’s 29. Anyways when I was 4 one of her friends was watching me while she went out and he was touching me sexually. I didn’t tell her and the next time he babysat me he did it again. He did it 4 different times that I can remember. Anyways I never told my sister about it. And they’re still really good friends today. He comes all the time so I see him a lot. And I feel really awkward around him. What I'm wondering is should I tell my sister about it? I don’t know if shed believe me and if she did I don’t know if shed do anything about it. I know its sexual abuse but can he actually get in trouble for it? Like since it happened a long time ago?

Please reply. I really don’t know what to do here.
Please email me if you think you can help.
hollisterhunni0628@yahoo.com

- Kylie

HELL YEAH YOU SHOULD TELL HER! no guy should be allowed to get away with touching a young girl in any sexual way, it's not right and it's not fair to you, you'll be ok i promise but you've got to let your sister know what happend so she can take care of you and get rid of that loser creep!
*~*shan*~*

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My parents broke up about a week ago when i found out about this i was so sad. i had never expected it to happen they always played their role in front of me to be good and loving parent they seemed do happy and it was so unsesected when they broke up and i hate it my dads never home i don't get to see him much and my parents both started somoking and im scared 4 them and myself please someone help me tell mi parent how to tell them i m sad with out having to go thought the long sit the long talk and the long stare HELP!!!!
Sarah

hey hun, ok my 'rents have been divorced for over 9 years and it's hard. you love your parents so much and you want them to be happy, but sometimes they can't be happy when they are together, they will never stop loving you but loving each other is just something that they can't do. it still hurts to see my mom dating because i don't like the guys that she's with and i hate my dad because of how he treats me, so if there's one thing that you MUST do is keep in touch with both of your parents. it broke my heart when i stopped hearing from my dad. he just stopped calling and sending cards, you're parents may not ever get back together but so long as you know that your parents love you then you'll be ok, and it might be hard for you to tell them how you feel, but when you know that you're ready to tell them you'll know. if you need anything or just someone to talk to feel free to talk to my on AIM my sn is sexishanibabe08, hope that everything works out for you
*~*shan*~*

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