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Divorce
hey.. i have a VERRRY bad situation. My mom and dad are getting a divorce and i dont know what to do! Is it my fault? What can i do (if possible) to get them back together? i love my mom and my dad but when they yell and scream its hard for me to love either one of them.... plz plz plz help!! Everytime i think about it it makes me cry!!
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It's not your fault, it's never your fault. Whatever they are going through, it is there problem. As sad as it is, you can't get them together. If it is there problem (which it is) only they can fix it. When they are yelling and fighting with eachother, it probably creates a miserable mood around the house. So when they are apart, it will be better for everyone. It's probably hard to see that right now, but my friends have parents who are divorced, and they say when their parents are apart, they get along much better.
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No it isn't your fault.There is nothing you can do. They both love you and will hopefully help you throuogh it. :)
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Aww! What an awful situation; I'm so soRRie to heaR that! But listen, I'm almost positive it's not youR fault!! It's typical foR the childRen whose paRents aRe going thRough a divoRce to assume it's oveR them, but the tRuth of the matteR is... it haRdly eveR is the child's fault!! And as cRappie as this is, the best thing you can do is keep out of theiR business. I know it's paRtly youR business since you aRe a membeR of the family as well, but whateveR theiR pRoblem is... is between the two of *them*. I would say suggest making moRe of an effoRt to show them how much you love them. SoRRie, Babe; theRe's just not much a kid can do in this scenaRio - just hope foR the best. I wish both you, and youR family, well. Hopefully I've been somewhat of a help to you. Know that you can always come to me foR a second opinion; you can find a fRiend in me.
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my best friend's parents are going though divorce so i know how this is..... don't worry the worst will be over soon. there's not much you can do to get your parents back together... just be supportive of both of your parents and try to love them as best you can and support them too... its just as hard for them....but i know how it feels to hate your parents sometimes, and you cant do much aboutnit until your 18... but until then do your best to bight your lip until you can make your own choices... ever think about seeing a phycologist? it really can help... stay strong your not alone!
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my parents have been through this, when i was 7, generally it's not the childs fault, *except for my case* there's nothing that you can do about it because it's not your choice. your parents have to decide if they love each other enough to be together. most of the time divorced parents don't get back together. the most that you can do is talk to them about how you're feeling and tell them that this divorce is hurting you because you don't want to see your family breaking up
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hey..my parents have been divorced for 9 years..and im pretty sure it has NOTHING to do with you! for me, there was NOTHING i could do to get them back together..my mom said she didnt love my dad anymore..im sorry but i dont no what to tell you on this one! i hope everything works out for you tho!
~*Sarah*~
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nope, just let it happen. you should stand back and let the fur fly, because nothing you say will matter to them.
-hitler
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Ok first you need to calm down. It's not your fault at all you did nothing wrong so don't ever think that it's your fault. You can't get them back together they have made a decision to split up and you have no control over that. You said that they are always yelling and screaming and that it makes things hard for you. That's most likely why they are getting a divorce they can't be together anymore they don't like the argueing just like you don't like the argueing. Think of it this way would you rather see your parents unhappy together and always fighting or happy away without each other and not having to hear them fight? It's normal to be upset about this they are your parents and you love them you want them to stay together but if they are always fighting then they are better off apart. It doesn't mean that they will love you any less they just can't be together anymore. Try talking to your parents seperately and tell them how you feel. They can probably help you deal with your feelings better than anyone else can. It is going to be difficult but things will get better for you.
Good luck and things will be ok
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i know exactly how you feel. that happened to me too, luckily i was younger. let me first tell you this has nothing to do with you, sometimes people grow apart and there is nothing you can do about it. if your parents are meant to be together, i'm sure they're going to. there's nothing you yourself can do to fix other then to let both of them know how much you love them both. maybe you could say you should go to family counseling as stupid as it sounds, it might work. good luck and please do not worry sweetheart <3
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im so sorry to hear that your parents are getting a divorce. Dont think of this problem as your fault becuase you will have too much pressure on you.To help your parents, have a heart to heart talk with them and tell both of them that you love and you dont like it when they fight and they should think twice about the subject that they are mad at to see if this problem can be solved. i had a simmilar problem with my best friend we got in a huge fight over something stupid so i decided not to be her friend anymore. But now we are even closer friends because i thought about our fight, talked to my friends and after a little while i forgave her. So maybe talking to them will help and let them slowly work the fight out. Also try not to think about them fighting when you do try to take your mind off of it and go outside get some fresh air or watch a movie.
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OMG I am soo sorry..my parents almost got a divorce back in January, so I know what your going threw. I know when its hard when they fight, because it make you think that you are causing the problem and does make you cry. Then when they actually do get the divorce you have no clue who to live with. So yes I know exactly with. Sit down with both of them and talk to them about how you feel and all..if they love you then they would say they are sorry for putting you threw this or try to stop the fighting. I don't know what my dad said but he said something to my mom and she forgave him..yet they still do fight so just hang in there..and tell them how you feel.
-Need anything else feel free to drop one in-
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aww i really dont know what i can do to help you but i will tell you it is NOT your fault no matter how bad the situation. you cant get them back together...let them take care of that. they chose what they think is best for them, adults ont always look at the emotional toll it takes on their kids. cry if you think it will help you, its ok! (hugs!) <3
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You need to tell them what their fighting is doing, but there is nothing you can - or should - do to get them back together. If they don't stop, can you stay at a relative's or friend's place for a while? Once they realize you're gone, they should wake up.
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im sorry your parents are getting a divorce...i can only imagine how hard it is! but it is DEFENITELY not your fault! sometimes two people just dont get along and if thy are getting a divorce...it is there decision and if they arent happy together then believe me...you dont want them to be together! its okay to be angry when your parents fight...that is normal! just remeber that they have their differences and sometimes they just need to yell and scream for a while and then they'll be okay again! but i am so sorry you are going through a time like this...if you need someone to talk to you i am Always here.ill always be ready to talk!
-♥ Me
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First, it's NEVER your fault. Something happened in their marriage and they somehow fell out of love. There's not really anything you can do to get them back together. Have they tried counciling yet? If not then maybe you can talk to them about how you feel. But you know what their yelling and screaming does to you? You say when they do it, it makes it hard for you to love either one of them, so it makes you feel bad and/or sad or whatever, right? Well think of how they feel. Being in a marriage they no longer want to be in. Or something of the such. Maybe if they've already seen a marriage councilor but still can't work out their problems they'll do better off with a divorce. Maybe one of them cheated on the other, or something happened that they haven't told you. I know a lot of people who after their parents have gotten divorced they become friends, and that's just what they were meant to be, friends. Nothing more.
If it's tearing you up too much, maybe you can see a councilor. And if you don't have the money to see a psychiatrist (or whatever they're called) then your school councilor should be of some help. At least to rid you of the guilt.
Ummm, I haven't checked out them all, but these sites MIGHT help. Sorry about what's going on. I hope things work out in the end. No matter what, LOVE your parents, and be happy for them. If they're happier seperate then be happy for them when they're seperate.
I have a feeling that some or all of these will help the parent and not you, but I'm trying.
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This site has books you can read that might help. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here are some more good links
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And here is a REALLY good one (in my opinion)
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Well first of all, it isnt your fault. You cant help it if your mom and dad are fighting. I know it is hard because i am going through the exact same thing right now and it makes me wanna cry to. But every day i wake up and tell myself to be strong. God will never give you problem you cant find a solution to. You and your mom and dad will get through it... no matter how hard it is. Hang in there,
<3-Carly
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