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My brother died 2 weeks ago and I really don't know what to do. I lived with him because my mom died 3 years ago and my dad used to beat and rape me. He was more like a father than a brother to me and I really don't know what to do. I've been staying with my friend until I get a foster family and she is always asking me if I'm ok and I'm really not. I don't know what to do with myself. I even tried drugs and I've been drinking a lot. I just want to kill myself and I'm so scared of what's going to happen next. I love him soo much and he was pretty much all that I had and now he's gone. I haven't even cried because I just can't, does that mean that there's something wrong with me? Why can't I just cry like normal people do when something happens to them? I really think that I'm a horrible because I can't even cry for my own brother. Please help me
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You aren't horrible, people handle grief differently. Stay away from the drugs and alcohol, they will only make your problems worse. Once things settle down in your life you will probably cry like crazy. :)
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i was like that before,when my dad died,but then i just decided i really needed to cry and let it all out and stuff,so i did,i thought of all the stuff we did together and thought of him and i cried for a loong time,and now i feel much better and im not holding the tears back,so dont drink,or take drugs,it wont help at all,think of him and just cry,dont hold it back,dont let it build up inside of you.
lots a luv,Heather,im me if u need to talk or anything!
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I suggest that you do try to cry, bottling things up is no way to deal with something. Once you have a good cry, get a good sleep, when you wake up take it easy for the next day or so. You cannot cry at the moment because i think you are in denial/shock, dont feel bad, it happens alot in people who have the same situation as you. Whenever you feel ready, talk to someone you trust. Whatever you do do not, under any surcumstances try and hurt yourself. what happend is not your fault and you are not to be blamed in any way.
much love
goMango
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some people handle tragedy differently, some cry, you're most likely repressing which isn't good. you've got to get some of it out because i've found out the hard way that if you hold things in they will explode at the worst possible time. you need to talk to your friend who clearly cares aboutyou. you're going to be put in a situation soon where you don't know anyone. maybe you could talk to your friend about her parents adopting you that way you will be sure that you'll have a loving family and a place that feels like home
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Don't worry that you haven't cried yet-it's perfectly normal. It will happen at some stage but because your body is probably in shock still it won't happen yet. By drinking and taking drugs you are numbing out the pain and emotions you are feeling and trying to make them go away. It might help in the short time but honestly it will make the healing process take much longer. I am so sorry to hear about your brother and what you have been through. It's cases like this when you have to think about the positive things your brother brought into your life. Imagine if you never had a brother in the first place. For the time he was with you he tried to help and make you overcome your fears and problems and try and bring the positive things back into your life. Try and think of the great memories you had with him and the fact that he would hate to see you being upset. Is there anyone you can talk to about the way you are feeling? There are usually counsellors to talk to when these kind of things happen. When you move to your new home try and remember all the fantastic memories and perhaps think of this as a new start. I hope I have helped x x
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Im so sry if you need to talk to anyone feel free to aim me or E-mail!!! Im sry about your mom and Brother!! Your not a horrible person i would of thought the same thing if all of that happened to me ! Your being strong for your brother and mom.. There is nothing wrong .Everyone handles things diffrent. Im sure you just need to let it lose and tell your friend that you arent okay!! So that she can help you through it.. Isnt that what friends are for? About the drinking .. Drinking dosent solve anything it makes it worst .. It really does you need to not drink tell your friend to hide all the liqure . Theres always a better thing to turn to.. Keep searching for hope and im so sure that things will get better!!!
Hope everything works out!!
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First off i`m very sorry about ur mother and brother`s death, and ur relationship at home with your dad. When you love someone so much, and there gone right before your eyes, your in such shock that its over and there not coming back. Sooner or later it will hit you wether your thinking about him, going through pictures, or feeling alone. Your not horrible, everyone has there moments, yours just hasn't arrived yet and thats fine. Try to think positive although its hard from the way you explain your lifestyle. Try and get involved with activies to keep your mind off things and keep you from drinking and doing drugs. And remember "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" don't show that your weak by wanting to commit suicide show your brother, your mom, your dad and yourself that your strong, and you'll get through this, and through life.
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OK you need to get a grip. Get off the drugs and stop drinking. I know I sound harsh but if you do this to yourself you will tear yourself apart even more. So stop or it's pretty much over. Don't kill yourself. ou will be taking yourself away from the people who still care for you like your friend for example. Get in threapy. It will help you get through this. However, make sure they have good recomandations. As for the crying thing there is nothing wrong with you. People's emotions towards these situations are different. You probably have a slower time with your emotions. That happens to amny people after they lose someone so close. They have slower reaction times to emotions, if that makes any sense. I'm not going to lie. You're not going to get over your brother instantly. It's going to take a while. And threapy will not help you unless you make an effort to get some relief. Honestly, you will always have that scar in your heart. There is no way to forget. Threapy just helps you to stop drinking and to take hold of your life again. You need to come to an understanding with yourself for your own emotions to sort into place. But I have confidence that you can do it. I hope I helped! ♥ good luck
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No, there is nothing wrong with you. Just because you can't cry doesn't make you a horrible person. People all react to things differently. You obviously cared about him. You just can't react to it yet. It will hit you eventually and you will cry. You are obviously feeling pain about this because you have been drinking and doing drugs. You need to stop doing that it's not good for you. You also need to stop thinking about killing yourself it's not worth it. You need to live your life to the fullest that's what your brother would have wanted. I know what it feels like to lose someone close to you. It's an awful feeling. But you can get through this. Your brother would have wanted you to. "Things always get better in the end and if they don't then it's not the end." Try to remember that.
I hope things get better for you and remember you can get through this
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I feel so bad. But there is NOTHING wrong with you. when i am really upset i find it hard to cry. and you must be extremely sad. maybe one day when it hits you or something just gets to you, you will cry. if you dont that is okay. you still feel sad. not crying doesn't mean anything.
another thing though. please dont turn to drugs or alcohol because that just hurts you in the long run. if you ever get the urge to drink or use drugs try to think of someway to stop you like would your brother be happy if he knew you did that.
if you are a religious person you can pray to your brother and do other things like that.
i hope day by day things get a little easier for you but remember nothing is wrong with you
<3 rememberxforever
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Aw .. Im really sorry about your brother. I know how it is when you loose someone close to you. Dont think about killing your self or anything because that isnt going to make you feel better or anything and think about your friends and the rest of your family. Your brother or mom would never want you to hurt yourself in any way. If you dont cry thats fine but it doesnt mean that you dont care! I know that you love your brother and you will never forget him. Just let it all out and express your feelings. It will make you feel better. Good luck! X0`
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nothing is wrong with you if you cant cry. sometimes it take a while to get it through b/c your not used to it. dont feel pressured to cry but if you feel like it, go ahead and let it all out. stay alive! your brother would have wanted you to. drugs and alcohol will not help you get through this. stay clean and keep your head up, things DO get better. <3
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You can't cry because first you're in shock and second sometimes when something hurts that bad we can't cry. It seems like you've been through a lot and the world has not been kind to you. I know what you need to do because i had to do it too. You need to wake up and see that you can't live for anyone else.. you have to live for yourself. You need to stop drinking and doing drugs.. it just makes it worse in the end.. it's just one more thing that's hurting you and it won't make it better. You can't kill yourself.. if the only reason why you can't is because it would hurt your friend or even think about this.. you kill yourself.. someone has to identify the body.. someone has to make funeral arrangements.. someone has to find you dead.. cut up or oded.. that could haunt them for the rest of their life. you dying could mean that the police had to come and deal with your situation instead of helping a poor little girl who's father is beating and raping her just like yours did. You have to live for yourself. You have to live to believe there's something better out there for you.. i know your scared, but you can't be. i'm sorry but it's now you against the world and hate it or love it it's how it is and you just have to live and be the best you because someday you might do something that helps millions of people or maybe just one little girl.. hope i helped.. and good luck.. remember life IS worth living for.
</3 kenzi
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you're definately not horrible! some people just handle their emotions in different ways...just because youre sad doesnt mean you have to cry..it would probably help if you did tho and thats probably why u tried the drugs..cus its all bottled up inside...just try and find a way to express yourself, go to a counselor, meet new people..maybe whenever you get to your new home itll be better for you and you can start over from scratch...good luck! hope i could help
<3 katie
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There's nothing wrong with you.I think you are just in a state of shock that a thing like that could happen to your brother.Find someone who can comfort you.A close friend, another family member.Maybe even try a physcologist.Drugs and drinking aren't the answer.It may seem like noone is there to help you, but just tell some people you trust.They'll be concerned.I hope everything goes ok!
xO LiSa*
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