about


advice

I need to get my life together. I have all the tools...just a little push. The next year and a half is going to make or break me. I'm a junior in college and I'm trying to get into graduate school. If i don't get my act together, get straight A's, and make my resume as amazing as possible...I don't see that happening...and my lifeplan will be shot to hell..

SO....this is where you come in...

ANYONE

its not much i would appreciate ANYTHING from ANYONE.

I just need some motivation...
It could be a movie that really inspires you...a song...a book..a quote....something your grandma said last week.

I need a trigger to get me started

I have been so depressed lately that I can barely get myself out of bed. Mostly because I've been very lonely... but I can't whine about being alone forever I need to DO SOMETHING.

HELP A GIRL OUT!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

[view]


Well, I feel like I have no real friends. I do have this one friend ''fernanda'', we go out and have fun and laugh and stuff, but that's about it. I have tons of friends on facebook, but I don't know most of them in person, all I see are pictures of them having a good time together and just...happy. Something I haven't been for a very long time, see, I'm very insecure...sometimes I feel like I'm just not worth it, and well my story is much longer than what most of you would be willing to read, so let me just cut to the chase and ask you guys...what should I do? I'm not even sure what I'm asking here, it's christmas and I'm looking at all these pictures on facebook of people having fun with their friends, and I'm here at home, nobody called me, nobody cares about me...sometimes I feel jealous of these people, I wish I could be with them and have what they have...happiness, fun, friends... I think I'm a pathetic loser...sometimes I think I don't deserve love, or friends, or any of that for some reason, or maybe my personality just sucks. I'm interested in things like philosophy, history, languages and all that...I just can never find someone to talk with me about that, but at this point I don't care...I just wish I had friends. What should I do? I feel very sad and often cry a lot cuz I think my teenage is passing by and I'm not enjoying it...life is passing by and I can't move on because I feel like a part of it is missing, like something I never had...and maybe never will.

I know where you're coming from regarding not feeling like you deserve other people's love and attention. I feel the same way and am pretty insecure myself. What could help is reaching out to other people and inviting them to do things with you. Maybe they are feeling lonely, too, but are too afraid to reach out? I remember this one time, I saw a lady all dressed up and my mom and I got into a conversation with her. She mentioned that she was going out dancing and didn't care that she had no one to go with. She just wanted to have fun anyways. I thought that was really cool. If there is something you want to do like see a movie, go shopping, or try a new restaurant, do it regardless of if you're by yourself or not. You may meet some new people along the way.

[view]


I notice that I have a social problem. I'm very kept to myself and it's not very inviting to people who want to get to know me. How do I become more social? It's kind of hard for me to make friends because I don't like to go out much. I'm an architecture student, so having social skills is necessary especially when presenting our project. But when I have free time, I like to catch up on my sleep. I don't understand how other architecture students can do it, but they go out and party and have fun even if they spent the previous night doing an all-nighter. I'm also more of a listener than a talker, but when I listen to people talk... I often don't relate to them because I really think that there are ways they could have prevented the situation but if I say that then in a way I'm telling them that they are wrong. Who wants to be told their wrong? Most people who talk about their problems are seeking some sort of comfort and are looking for support. If I agree with them, I'm truly not speaking my mind, but if I speak my mind then they won't agree with me. I don't appreciate that I have to put up a front to talk to other people, and it gets exhausting. Sometimes we connect and I can relate to them, and it feels like I'm free. But most of the time I just don't care to speak my mind.

I can relate to you and your situation. I am not a social person at all. People exhaust me, but I'm comfortable with people I know. The problem is, nobody "knows" me, so that leaves me feeling misunderstood and quite anti-social. I actually made a meet-up group on www.meetup.com for people like me that are Introverted. It turned out to be really fun! We went bowling and then had dinner. I met a nice group of people and I'm so surprised that I had the courage to put myself out there. I would suggest making a meet-up group for people your age, too. Maybe gear it towards a specific interest?

[view]


I heard follic acid helped hair grow so i took a pill.It was 800mcg. I started to feel sick the next morning i woke up and puked twice. the puke was green and yellow and my stomach hurt the whole day. after i ate something i started to feel better. the next day i felt way better but at the end of the day my stomach started to make farting noises. when i woke up the next day i had really watery green stool. i cant really eat anything and i haave watery green stool. is this normal did i intoxicate myself what should i take to help my stomach stop hurting and for the watery stool?

On WebMD, it says that 400 mcg is the maximum a person should take unless the doctor says otherwise.

http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-1017-FOLIC%20ACID.aspx?activeIngredientId=1017&activeIngredientName=FOLIC%20ACID

^ Go to that link and click the "side effects" tab. Your side effects seem typical considering the dosage

I hope you're feeling better! -Lisa

[view]


i like to sit on a girl's lap. wen i sit i feel i am being cared.i don wanna kiss or anything like that. i jus wanna sit on the lap and feel that affectionate warmth. i weigh 58 kgs(130 lbs).but being a guy is it wrong to sit on a girl's lap??

That is adorable! I don't think it's weird. I think it's cute!!

[view]


Hey 19/f
So i'm going to be transfering to a college that is about 40 minutes away from my house, so the commute is relatively short. However recently i've been feeling like i'm missing out on an important part of my life... not dorming and everything. If i were to dorm it would be a lot easier because then i wouldn't have to deal with bridge traffic (I live in new york).
I am in my second year at a community college and am totally miserable because I have no friends. Everyone literally goes to class and goes home.... I am kind of shy but i'm not that shy! I feel like I am missing out on a part of my life I am meant to experience at my age. I guess I just want some advice and info about what dorming is like from experience. I'm at a total loss because what if i hate it? Or what if i don't go and i regret it for the rest of my life? I have always been a home body, and that's whats stopping me. Change freaks me out but part of me feels like a new lifestyle is what I need. The other half is scared to death.
Help?

Your question is very relatable. I am 21 and also feel that I commute to and from school without having any actual friends. My college is also 30-40 minutes away and as soon as I get the chance money-wise, I would like to move on campus for the experience.

Of course there's a possibility that you'll hate it, but chances are, it will be a good experience. You'll likely meet other people dorming that are looking to make friends, so I think you should give it a try!

[view]


My dad seems to always try to snoop through my CDs and I don't like it and I try to stop him. Then one night, he wanted to borrow my Maroon 5 CD, and I wouldn't let him, so he said I can't go to any Maroon 5 concerts. Then he calls me ungrateful child. What should I do? Is he serious?

I know it may be hard to see it, but you are not being fair. Why can't he borrow your CD? Is it your only one? Will you die without it?

[view]


I've made the decision for myself to choose to eat as healthy as I possibly can, and eat the foods that are most pesticide-filled as organic.

I started experimenting with healthy and organic things a few months ago and of course my Dad protested it as being useless, and a waste of money, and not of his "ways"and that I'm only following the "white men". Whatever the hell that means.

I'm taking it more seriously and I've made a meal plan with exactly what I will eat for the week, and what I'm going to make so I can only buy what I need from the store. Nothing more, and nothing less.

I asked my dad just about 10 minutes ago if we can go out grocery shopping so I can pick up a few things and he just blew up on me and starting screaming that if he lived like me, he would get nowhere in life and that I'm not some rich person that can buy organic food and do whatever I want.

Then he started telling me about all the food he has bought that has gone to waste because it has gone bad. And that he doesn't want ME wasting his money anymore on groceries. And mind you, it was everything I told him NOT to buy because I told him specifically that no one would eat or drink it and it would go to waste. Why did he buy it? Only because it was for sale.
Honestly, I don't understand it.

Talk about being frugal gone wrong.

Anyways, to make things clear. My Dad does NOT pay for my groceries. I pay for ALL and any of the groceries I choose to purchase whether they are organic or not. So the issue is not on if HE can financially afford my diet since I pay it for it myself.

Anyways. I just want some sort of advice or a view point on someone who is not in the issue so that I can understand it. I probably can't understand his mindset right now because I'm
on the opposite side.

I just want to know if what I am doing is wrong or if my Dad is just over-reacting (which he tends to do a lot).

I think your dad is over-reacting. My dad is the same way and has fought me on this issue, too. Organic food isn't a trend like some people think it is. It's food that hasn't been treated with pesticides. Of course a normal, sane person is going to want to avoid pesticides at all costs, so I don't think eating organic is extreme at all...However, it can be expensive when it comes to fruit. I would suggest buying non-organic fruit where the outside can be removed, such as: melons, oranges, pineapple, or kiwi.

[view]


i was very very deeply hurt by a person 4 years back ,i have no contact with him for past 2 years,but now i heard that he got ms orthopaedics in good college,on hearing this i felt jealousy and unhappy,sad.i am 25 years old.i am from india.i am doing md community medicine .initially i was content with my career but now i felt discontent by comparing with him like that he will earn more money,he will get more recognition,approval than me.need advice

I know what that's like. I hear about people I used to be friends with and what they are doing with their lives, and it makes me feel sad sometimes. I begin to think that they are so accomplished, but when I think that way, I forget about all the things I have achieved. Having a certain job does not mean that person is happier than you are. It simply means they have that particular job. Even if they are actually happy with their life, find the courage to accept that the person is happy. I used to wish some of my former friends would have an unhappy life without me, but that just made me bitter. Now, I either don't care what they are doing with their lives or I want them to be happy. Wanting others to be happy, will make you feel more at peace with yourself.

[view]


i am doing md in community medicine . i can t able to handle the rude senior person in my work place.when they make criticism on me i feel like crying.i m 24 years old.i am away from home.i have no friends here.there is no interest in my life. morning wakeup,then job,then home watching tv,studying sleep then next day and continues.i am feeling self pity because there is no recognition for me in my work place. i feel that there is no approval for me because my friends are doing md /ms in clinical subjects ,this make me self pity .i am from india .need advice

I understand what it's like to feel overlooked in the workplace. Not just overlooked, but looked down upon...When someone talks down to you, keep a straight face. Try not to take it personally. Learn from them and show them that you are willing to learn. My manager used to talk down to me, but once I showed them that I was capable of learning what they were asking of me, they began to show more respect. I hope things get better for you!!

[view]


i have a really bad habbit i keep throwing up well making myself throw up what health risks are associated with this am ,i causing huge problems for myself in the future please tell me i mean it cant be that bad can it ??

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. There are actually many risks involved with throwing up your food...

-It can damage your esophagus by causing tears...you can actually choke to death if that happens

-Your electrolytes will be unbalanced and you can cause heart damage...

Those are the two main ones that come to mind, but I will link you to a site that has a more detailed list.

http://bulimiasideeffects.com/

I hope things get better for you!

[view]


God? Family? Friends? BF/GF?
Hahaha...
I can't trust anyone...
and i'm just so plain old alone.
So trapped here.
Nobody even knows the real me.
I DON'T EVEN know who i am anymore.
And i would end my life... except i fear death...
Ironic, huh?
So i'm stuck here.

And my only question is...
not what can i do to feel better
or can someone help me...
but...

my question is
simply
has anybody else felt like this?
This lost? this broken? this empty? this alone?

Well, have you?

Yes, I have felt like this for he majority of my life. Pin-point the things that are making you insecure and work towards fixing them. Also, focus on the things that make you amazing and be grateful for what you are blessed with.

[view]


What should you do if you are sex-starved ? Thank you in advance !

Touch yo' self!
Seriously, it's the next best thing.

[view]


F/13

Kayy so i have tummy hair and back hair :( i hate it. i wanna get rid of it but like i dont know how?
if i shave it won't it grow back but thicker and blacker? and idk about lotions because they all say "for legs and face only" so please help? :)

Try tweezing it. It will remove the hair from the root, which will make it look cleaner than shaving would.

[view]


Welll, Im Friends with this guy and i been talking on the phone with em for couple Days we dont sleep at alljust to stay on the phone and uhh we be talking dirty like him getting boners and im telling em im bi and stuff like that but i dont know if he likes me . he told me that my voice is sexy im like ahh weird

You are being used. From what you expressed here, this guy only likes you for sexually-related reasons. It doesn't seem like he actually knows you or cares to get to know you.

[view]


Hi, my boyfriend says he thinks of me highly as his best mate told me. we have been dating for 21 months and we live together. anyways, what does he exactly mean by thinking of me highly? thank you all.

That means that he thinks of you in a positive way. He respects you greatly. =D

[view]


Hello Advicenators! It's been an extremely long time since I've been on this website, I'm so glad it's still running. You guys are awesome.

I came here because I was unsure who to talk to about this. Before I moved away to college, I babysat for this little girl, we'll call her Lauren, for a year. I would drive her to her dance classes and take her home, cook her dinner, and just hang around with her. Right before I was suppose to leave for college, something happened with her family. Her parents got a divorce, and then a couple weeks later, her father went to jail. The mother told me not to mention it to Lauren so it wouldn't upset her. The father got out on bail. And then, I went off to college.

I've been back on summer break (I'm 19 years old) and today was my first time babysitting for Lauren again. When I picked her up from school, I felt like I was going to break her in half when I hugged her. She looks extremely skinny. I could see her knee bones through her legs, and her arms were so tiny. I immediately became worried. This girl is 10 years old. Her parents are in the middle of a custody battle according to her mother, and Lauren told me that her cat just ran away a couple weeks ago. Lauren now lives with her mother and her two older brothers. She also is an avid dancer. She has been dancing since she was 4 years old and takes dance classes every day.

I'm nervous for Lauren because there are a lot of things in her life that could influence an eating disorder, such as how intense of a dancer she is, her pet running away, and what her parents are going through. I feel like I'm in a position that could help her because a) I have known her for such a long time and b) am also a dancer. I really want to help her but I am unsure of what to do.

Thank you for reading this long story. I would love some help from you advicenators!

I agree with the other responses. She may be depressed. Depression can cause loss of appetite. Unless you see disordered behaviors around food, she is probably suffering from depression and not an eating disorder.

[view]


all my freinds have started i just want to fit in i am 11 but i dont have a feeling i will get it till around 20 i dont know when my mom started dont say like 'ur lucky!' or 'ull regret saying that!' coz i dont give a flying boot so is there any way to make it start!? I WILL TRY ANYTHING!

I didn't get mine until I was about 13. I actually didn't discuss periods with my friends, so I'm not sure how having one would help you fit in. The only thing a period means is that you can get pregnant. Unless you are planning to get pregnant right now, I don't see what the rush is. It will come in time.

[view]


I am pretty nice to the kids in my neighbourhood, and I think they're adorable and all. But I'm starting to get REAL annoyed, it's like I'm a kid magnet and they won't leave me alone. Seriously, no joke. They ring my door-bell right after they come home from school and they want me to play with them or take them to the park.. or they want to come inside my home and watch TV together or bake something together.

I don't mind it sometimes but I can't spend every minute of my day with them EVERY DAY. I go to school, I have work, and I need my own personal time. I think my issue is that I don't know how to say "no" and I feel like I'm being a bad person if I say no to them. But even if I say "oh no, not right now." They keep pestering me, and pestering me. What should I do? What can I do to create boundaries with them?

I can't even sit or eat in my backyward without them running over and invading my backyard.

Talk to their parents. I can understand how hard it is to turn a kid away, but telling the parents that you need more private time will be a good way for them to take care of the dirty work. They can be the ones to set boundaries for when it is appropriate to visit you and when it is not based on your agreement with them.

Tell the parents that there are only certain days of the week that you are available and have the parent call you beforehand to make sure that you are up to having visitors.

[view]


I speak too fast,sometimes i eat words.How to improve?

Confidence is key. In the past, I would find myself mumbling just because I didn't think anyone would be interested in the things I had to say. Now that I'm older, I take the time to pronounce every word that I speak because I have confidence that people are interested in what I have to say. Believe in yourself!!

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker