TheHeadHonchoPoncho57's advice column | TheHeadHonchoPoncho57's Advice About Love Life | Main Page

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Tomorrowland

Occupation:

Troll

Member Since:

June 15, 2005

Answers:

429

Last Update:

September 22, 2022

Visitors:

71878

Favorite Columnists

The_MoUsY_spell_checker

sizzlinmandolin

Main Categories:

Fashion and Styles

about

advice

basically my subject. what is most appealing in a girl to a guy? and why do guys like really slutty girls?

Most guys under the age of 17 (notice how I said "most" and not "all") have really undeveloped dating territories, and since they're young and inexperienced and they've just discovered they wanna get laid, they go chasing after slutty girls because sluts can fulfill their ephemeral needs.....they're too impatient and too immature to handle waiting for the perfect girl to come to them. But as boys get older, they grow out of that (at least the intelligent ones do) and start looking for people they could really see as a companion. The ones that are really worth it will get bored with the whole slutty act, because slutty girls do what they're best at.......fulfilling ephemeral needs. That's pretty much it.

But don't get dirty because you want guys to like you. They'll like you, but they won't like you in the way you want them to. If you want RESPECT, do what that other columnist said. Just be yourself and hope that someone notices.

I have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have grown distant over the past 2 years. I started sleeping with someone which I don't believe in, and still can't believe I did it. I fell in love with this other man and he is the father of my newborn. I still love my husband and do not want to hurt him, but I do not want to hurt the other man either. I believe in God and that he doesn't believe in divorce, and the roots of this are so deep now. I would be happier with the other man, but does that matter at this point?

If you are bearing a child (and you're not planning an abortion), this child will be your primary responsibility from now on. Everything you do, you must put the child before yourself or anyone else. That child needs a father---and if you'd be happier with the father.........then you should probably be with him and help him raise your kid.

I know how important your religion is to you. I used to be a Christian. I'm aware that a Christian God doesn't believe in divorce, but you must make this kind of sacrifice if you're going to take care of the child. From what I remember, if you're sinning for the aid of another person (your child) and you ask Him for forgiveness, He will understand.

13/f
ok, a couple weeks ago i went to a party in miami.
i used to live there so i knew a few people there.
but there was this one guy that i didnt know.
and i was dancing with him all night.
before me and my friend left i made out with him.
EVERYONE knows about it.
even at his school.
im going out with him now.
and he was the first guy i ever made out with.
but, do you think im a slut?
thanks in advance :]

No, not at all. A slut is a girl who's extremely promiscuous and stoops down VERY low (and by "low", I mean doing more than just dancing) to get attentions from guys. Dancing and making out is not considered "slutty" by any normal person.

ok so there is this reallllyyy creepy guy at my school. his name is dave and he used to go out with one of my good friends. the two broke up and my friend told me he is creepy and smokes and is just weird. so lately hes been trying to get with me and he sends me messages over myspace and tells me im sexy and we should go out. and then i dont reply, so he like, finds me in the halls and asks me why i dont reply and we should go out. IM SO CREEPED OUT BY HIM. i dont know what to say. i want him to leave me alone because hes bad news but im so afraid hes like, going to be pissed and do something bad if i tell him "sick. no." haha. please help

I'm in a similar predicament as you are.

I think the best think for you to do is to find a way to get across to him indirectly that you aren't interested. without telling him bluntly, "Ew, no, you're a sicko and you disturb me." Because you said that if you said something like that, then he could do something bad, right?

Block him out of your life as much as possible. Delete his comments on your MySpace, block him on AIM. When you even SEE him at school, move away. If he does find you eventually, though, be prepared. When he asks you about why you never reply to his messages, just respond with another question...maybe something like, "Why? Does it really matter that much to you?"

If he says, "We should go out", just say jokingly, "No way", even though you really do mean it.

After a while, he should get the picture.

there is these 2 boys in my class and they stare at me and my friend all the time but they look me in the eye they deny that they like me online.but they wont talk to me in person its like theyre scared too.one of the boys talks to the other one about where they live but the other boy already knows where he lives.they also talk about other girls like trying to get me jealous or something he says " i wanna go out with " so and so but i dont know what hes tyring to do ... do you think he likes me ? or my friend what other signs would a boy do if they liked me ? my friend and i pass notes back and fourth and they try to look do they like me ?also one of them did a nod thing i dont know what it means and i asked him on here why he dosent talk to me in school he said i dont know on here and in art class he pulls up his shirt and his friends are at my table and he talks to them alot and stares at me he looks me in the eye but he has a gf theyve been together since june 05
Greeen mascara: he gets up at lunch time and looks over at my table do you think he likes me ? i dont know what he is trying to do he nods at me ... he told me on here that he nodded to me in school and i turned my head .. if i knew that i wouldnt have also he seems to follow me around school. i dont know whats up with him my bestfriend thinks that he likes me but no1 knows he will only talk to me online not in person it seems like he is scared . if anyone can please help IM me on greeenmascara thanks !!

No, I don't think he likes you. I think that you're taking this all way too seriously. You're basically just amounting these simple actions that he does in hopes that it will bring you to the conclusion that he likes you.

Stop living in your fantasies like this. I learned a long time ago that it will do you no good in the long run.

I don't understand this...I'm already in the 9th grade...and ALL of my friends have boyfriends! What do guys look for in a girl? Because, to me, it looks like I don't have it. I'm NOT a pushover, I don't dress slutty, and I'm not flirty. Let's also say that "I'm not easy to "get to"". I don't know. I'm a VERY good student....and I get good grades....but this seems like somewhat of a turn off for guys. And those guys that are nerdy (but cute) too, still don't PAY attention to me! It's like I'm invisible...It's just not fair. ;_;

At this age, guys like girls who are cute, make themselves available at all times, and are easy to pick up. Intelligence is not exactly a turnoff---if they happen to be intelligent, fine. But intelligence is not what attracts most teenage boys.

Keep this in mind:

"Women are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Men don't want to reach for the good ones because thay are afraid of the falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't good, but easy to get. So the apples on top think something is wrong with them where in reality, they are amazing! They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

You just have to wait for that person to appear. However, DON'T change yourself and try to modify yourself so you're like the rotten apple that's easy to pick up. It will not make you happy, and you won't have a nice relationship at all.

Ok well Im 13 & I have never kissed a guy. I really want my first kiss because I just want to know what its like. I had my chance to kiss a guy before because when I was going out with my boyfriend(i dumped him a couple days ago) he asked me for a kiss but I said no because there were to many people around.

Im not say that im ugly or a geek or something, because I have had plenty of boyfriends, we just have never been at the right place at the right time ya know?

But anyway is it weird that im 13 & I havent had my first kiss yet?

Actually, it's much more unordinary for a 13-year-old to HAVE had their first kiss. Lots of kids brag that they had their first kiss when they were 7, but that doesn't really count. 13-year-old girls like to imagine out their first kiss, but most of them don't get it until at least a year later.

Your time will come. Don't rush it and do it with someone you're not interested in, because then it won't feel good at all. You want your first to be something special. You can only have it one time, so just wait for that person to come along. Plus, the longer you anticipate it, the better it will be when it actually happens. And all good things come to those who can wait, right?

So, I like this guy, okay? He's really sweet and cute and so nice and everything... but there's a problem... I already have a boyfriend. Don't start calling me a slut and everything but my boyfriend is starting to be really... boring. I knew him only for two days when he asked me out. Should I dump him or not?? If I shouldn't, tell me why I have to go pretend to like a guy I don't! It's torture......... =(
What should I do??

If you like someone else and you just aren't attracted to your boyfriend anymore, don't pretend that you like him when you don't. Just break up with him. However, don't tell him to his face that he's boring, and that you like someone else....that would hurt his feelings, and you don't want that. Just say that you don't think that you two make chemistry, or that you don't know him well and you prefer to go with someone you know well.....something like that. And don't jump on the other guy right after you break up. Give it a few weeks at the least before you make a move.

i think it is.alot.but thats my opinion.cuz my friend just took a break with her bf and i told her it was just the same thing as breaking up.i dont give a shit if ur getting bak together.thats just another excuse to break up with somein at the time.whats the effin difference?

A breakup is where you end the relationship completely because it just won't work out. Both are completely detatched.

"Taking a break" is where you just don't feel like being in a relationship at the moment and, well, you just need a break from him/her. You aren't detatched completely, you're just not physically seeing each other, even though you're still dating. Usually, there is a set time....for example, you might say to your boyfriend, "let's take a break for a week."

I was used by a boy for sex and whatnot
and then he became a total jerk and is mean
I still like him and I want us to be friends again like we used to,how should I talk to him?
I was gonna wait until he talked to me but i need to take part in this too and he isnt the type that if i started talking and spilling my heart out , that he would go along with it
Has anyone ever been in this position?
What did you do?
by the way , im 14/nc

I am pretty sure that you are the same person that asked a question I answered earlier on my column (correct me if I'm wrong), are you not?

Now that I know the circumstances...he used you for sex?

Get away from this kid IMMEDIATELY.

okay well my friend is 12 andshe just start4ed going out with this kid whos 16 he turns 17 in junee... is there something wrong with that?? or is that allright?

There is something VERY wrong with a 12-year-old dating a 16-year-old. First of all, a person who is only 12 is not ready for a full, advanced relationship with an experienced person.I have to agree with the first poster...if the boy really cared about her, he'd want what was best for her. Any 16-year-old with any common sense should know that....I question this guy's intentions. I reckon he wants to use her for something.

It may seem innocent now, but this could (and very likely will) turn out to be a very dangerous relationship. Get your friend out of it now before it's too late.

I could get into detail, but I wont.
Im in love with this boy
and he used to be nice to me.
He has lost total respect for me , becuase I let him take advantage of me [dumb idea, i know]
He's rude to me and mean and etc.
I still like him no matter how mean he is!
No, im probably not going to be able to get over him anytime soon.
Does anyone know how I should try and get his respect back and be friends again?

Any boy who is rude, mean and takes advantage of you is unworthy of your attention.

And I highly doubt you're in love with him, asssuming that you're between the ages of 13 and 17. Most young love is just infatuation. I don't know anything about you...you could be an exception, but you can't base life on exceptions. Would you still "love" him if he put 300 pounds? Would you give up everything you've worked for just for him? Would you die for him?

But either way, I can tell that this post is not going to be of any use to you if I keep going on like this. You're a teenager, and crushes are uncontrollable, even if the boy is mean to you. The saying "love is blind" is very true. I'm sure that telling you just to forget about him because he's a jerk is pretty much futile, because it's not going to happen. I've been in your situation before, and I know what it feels like to be trying to win back a boy who treats you bad.

Don't meet eyes with him, like the person below me said. Just avoid him altogether for a good bit of time. If he starts acting like an SOB, flip him off like he's just a speck of dirt on your sweater. Do whatever it takes to prove to him that you don't give a sh*t what he says, you've moved on and that you've got a great life without him in it. If he really likes you as a friend, he'll start to miss you and want you back.

Hope all goes well.

How does one become the perfect girlfriend? Internally and externally, how does a girl make her guy feel completely fulfilled?
Thanks

Nobody is perfect, and those who are perfect are boring. If the guy truly loves her, he will always feel fulfilled in spite of your flaws.

Hey I really like this kid thats in my english class and i know that he liked me in the beginning of the year but i said no when he asked me out. I asked him over myspace message if he likes me and he said only as a friend and that he doesnt want to loose me as a friend. and he said "lets see how the rest of the year goes".

So yeah, i message him everyday and i dont wanna be annoying but i love getting messages from him and i dont know what to message him this time and how do you know if a guy is playing "hard to get"?
and another thing was when we were messaging, he was asking me why i like him and why i want to date him.

so yesterday when i messaged him i was like "hey cutie...blah blah blah we should hang out sometime!" and he messaged me back and hes like "what about 'hey hottie'?? and then said yeah sure we can hang out if you want." do you think he wants to hang out with me? also do you think we should hang out one on one? or with freinds?

another thing is, i gave him my number and was like"when you wanna hang out or just talk call me" and he never called.
so today i messaged him and i asked him if he wanted to hang out this friday or weekend or something and he told me he couldnt and what he was doing. he said he has a baseball game friday night and i checked on the school website and he does. so i know for sure that he actually does want to hang out.
Thanks!

It looks like you missed the moment. You rejected him the first time, so he lost interest in you.

You can tell a guy is playing "hard-to-get" when he says things like "I love you, you're beautiful, blah blah blah" and the next day acts like he wouldn't care if you flew to the moon in front of his face. And it doesn't sound like what he's doing.

Resist your urge to message him every day. It gets annoying if it's someone he's not interested in and besides, it's immature. It makes you look featherbrained. Most women have the maturity not to do that.

You haven't written enough for me to make an inference of whether he wants to hang out or not. I say it's too early to tell. Wait about two weeks, and then try again. If it turns out that he wants to hang out, then do it one-on-one. If there are other girls around, they'll all be talking to him and it would be pointless. If you invite other guys, then he'll just talk to them.

If you need more help, feel free to message me again.

I'm a 13 year old boy and I don't have a girlfriend when mostly everyone does. I like some of the girls at my school do not think they like me as much as I like them. How do I get the girls to like me?
I'm in texas by the way.

The number one key to a girl's heart is to care about their emotions. When your girl is feeling really bad, talk to her, show you care and try to show a lot of empathy/sympathy. That will make her feel closer to you.

My problem is that I'm like head over heals(in love :-P ) in a girl in my classe and I don't know what to do, and I don't know what to do beacuse of a few reasons
*She is a really good friend of my & I'm afreid that if I tell her it could kill our friendship
*She is curentlly dating someone

please help me....
what should I do?????

Ok, here's what to do.

Do NOT try to turn her away from her boyfriend, win her over, or badmouth her boyfriend. It would make you look like an asshole, she would be very angry and so would her boyfriend. That alone could end the friendship, and you definitely don't want that.

Don't tell her that you like her while she's in a relationship. You know that it would be futile, because she most likely doesn't like you back in the same way right now.

After she and her boyfriend break up, wait a while. If you tell her too soon, then she might think that you are being insensitive to the break-up.

If some event happens that when you tell her that you like her, and she likes you back, you guys can start dating. You can do all the things that a boyfriend and girlfriend do together, but don't offically call it "dating." That way, if you guys break up, it will be less awkward and you could go back to being friends again.

Me and m boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half now, we spend most of our time with eachother. I can say I love him and he loves me too, but he is such a liar. He doesnt lie about big things(at least I think he doesnt)But I know him pretty well and always catch him lieing about the little things. Even if he has no reason to lie he just does. I hate it, also when I catch him in a lie he gets really mad and gives me an attitude as if I did something wrong.Why does he do this and what should I do?

There are an array of reasons he could be lying.

Reason #1

Since you haven't given me any specific details, it could be that he's just exaggerating and doesn't take the time to think about specifically what he did. This is probably the case if his lies typically have a grain of truth in them. For example:

YOU: *insert name here*, why didn't you practice your piano?
HIM: I did practice the piano! What are you talking about?!
YOU: I was at the neighbor's house, and I didn't hear anything. Tell me truth. If you practiced, how long did you practice?
HIM: Two minutes

In this case, he's just a little scatterbrained and this is just his nature and you shouldn't worry about it.

Reason #2

It also could be that even though you've been dating him for a year and a half, he still doesn't fully trust you, like he doesn't like the idea of you knowing information about him. Though generally most people trust their girlfriend (I'm assuming you're a girl) after so long, there are always people who are different like that. Another example:

HIM: Hey, I'm going to go eat lunch with Billy today. Is that ok with you?
YOU: Sure, go ahead. (10 minutes later, you look up and see him sitting with Larry)

Reason #3

I find this the most common reason why people lie. Here's a typical situation:

YOU: Hey, *insert name here*! Did you take out the trash?
HIM: Well yeah, I took out the trash.

Even though taking out the trash isn't a really big deal, he subconsciously (or consciously; usually subconsciously)doesn't want to disappoint you when he hasn't taken out the trash. Or, he subconsciously feels lazy because he hasn't taken this responsibility at hand. I know that sounds weird, but it's very true. So therefore, he lies so he feels like his conscience is clear with you, even though it isn't. When you catch him in a lie, he gets mad because he thinks you're just trying to give him a hard time.

Here's what you should do. Give him a talk about it when he's in a good mood. Because I don't know the details, I'm not going to come up with something to say for you, but if you want me to, send me another letter in my inbox giving me specific details about him, etc.

I hope this fills in the cracks! Best of luck!

my friend didnt know how to make out n like use her tongue n stuff......so she like did it with her dog i guess

is it just me or is that a lil weird?

she told me she did it tho so she wouldnt look stupid when she does it with a guy fer the 1st time

Oh my god. That's not just weird. It's just plain GROSS.

Dogs lick their assholes and genitals. If she French kisses her dog, she might as well eat dog shit. If you're a halfway decent friend, you'd tell her next boyfriend to get his tongue out of her mouth in a matchbox

13/f
ok well, here we go. ive been going out with my bf for almost a year now, and i LOVE him so much. but the thing is i SERIOUSLY think he deserves ALOT more than me. and today i got braces on for the second time and i look REALLY bad. i dont want him to freak out on me and i dont want to be a bad gf AND an ugly one!!! should i break up with him or just keep it goin?!?1 im so confused and i give out 5's

You know what? That's all in your head. Don't ever, EVER think that just because you don't think you're pretty, he doesn't deserve you, because that's just WRONG. It would be really sad if the only chicks who are qualified to get boyfriends are the "hott" ones, wouldn't it? Just chill. You love him to death, and I am going to make the inference that he loves you back----by all means stay with him!!! Pretty is as pretty does. "Beautiful" is only the media's standard of what looks good. Do you honestly think that a relationship should be ended just because your lips are thinner or your nose is flatter, or just because of some stupid wires in your mouth? Look at this in perspective. If he breaks up with you because he thinks you're ugly, you should stab him....just kidding. Please don't stab your boyfriend for sanity's sake, but honestly, if he's really that shallow, he's an infantile asshole who doesn't deserve anyone.

hi, im almost 16 and ive never been kissed and never had a boyfriend...is this as bad as it seems?...and not jus girls points of veiw plz. ive had chances but never made anything of them...am i that big of a loser, i think that im attractive and im smart and a good person so whats wrong?will rate high!!!!all 5's

Nothing is wrong. Having a boyfriend and kissing comes to everyone at one time or other, some earlier and some later. I've heard of women who are 30 and never had a boyfriend. I think the first kisses that come later are the most special because it wasn't wasted with some little kid that you broke up with after two days. You shouldn't feel like a dork just because it's coming later for you. It's not like "Ok, you have to have kissed and had a steady boyfriend by the time you are 16, or else you are a loser." You don't need to have a boyfriend in order to be cool. And you can only have a first kiss once. 30 years from now, would you rather look upon your first kiss as just some sloppy thing that you shared with some 11 year old that you broke up with in 2 days, or something special in a real relationship? Your time will come, and when it does, guess who's going to feel like a loser? Those girls who had their first kiss as an 11 year old because they wasted their chance.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>