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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Recently me and my girlfriend have been fooling around via FaceTime(waiting till marriage) . She will start bouncing and rocking her hips it's so sexy it gets me there but fior her not so much. What happens is she gets stimulate and be totally into ready to bust and everything and you can tell by the way she moans . But when it's time to reach the peak she just can't do it. We have tried numerous times. The more we tried the more upset and frustrated she becomes. I don't know what to do also im a chick so it isn't even like I have a dick or anything and I don't touch myself . But I can get there but she can't idk wt to tell her. She is a virgin to so I really don't know what to do. She said she has never came before.
Please help me I'm tired of seeing my baby cry her eyes out it breaks my heart more then you understand. So many please please please give advice
There are two types of women when it comes to sexual stimulation. There are women who are more vaginal meaning they get off having fingers in there vagina while masturbating or during foreplay. Then there are women who are more clitoral in how they get off. Meaning they need to have their clitoris stimulated during sex and sex play.
You friend needs to find out which she is. She needs to do this while she is alone without you watching or encouraging her over facetime. She should find a nice quite place that is safe and secure from interruption such as her bedroom with her door locked.
She should get undressed and get on her bed on start to masturbate as usual. When she is near her climax if she just has her fingers in her vagina she should use her other hand to start to stimulate her clitoris. This should send her over the edge and give her the orgasm she is looking for. She should also take her time and while working up to that climax allow her other hand to caress other parts of her body such as her breasts and pinch her nipples.
Of course is she is a very young lady a climax my not yet be possible. Are you aware that infants masturbate. Have you ever watched and infant rock themselves.
We thought for the longest time they were rocking themselves to sleep. What they are doing is masturbating because it feels good but they are too young to climax. Eventually the baby stops and we start again as we reach puberty.
Not all the sex hormones are released at one time. So if the advice I have given does not work and she is just entering puberty tell your friend to relax and give herself time. She will eventually get the climax she wants. She just has to get older. You two can be the same age but no two people go through puberty alike, we are all different.
I'm feeling terrible. I can't stand my brother any longer. Actually, he lives in another city, and is spending his vacation time at home. Thing is that he won't do anything at home, he doesn't help us with anything and sleeps the whole day! I hate him! How can I cope with this situation? It's aweful, since I don't want to confront him either; I just want him to go away!
Thanks in advance!
(p.s please, I don't want ''adviceman 49'' to reply to this message, I mean it. Thanks again!)
I'm curious why do you not want me to answer your question. I've answered quite a few of you questions. Do you not like my answers or are my answers not what you want to hear. There is a difference. You can answer me in a private message if you wish.
Anyone else find it ironic that Taylor Swift presents herself as the unpopular, geeky kid, when most of her fans are the popular kids at school?!?
This may be the persona she wishes to portray or it may be who was was when growing up.
While I think she is a very pretty young lady listening to her songs, the ones she writes herself and listening to her interviews on show like Ellen. I think she is a young lady that, possibly through her music is still trying to find herself.
Her music has made her not only very rich but very popular. She appears to be caught between being a superstar and trying to be just one of the kids she plays to. This could very well just be a persona she is portraying or it could be who she is. We will just have to wait and see as she grow older and her writing and style of music changes. It already has to some degree.
I'm a 18 year old girl and I'm not a big party person I'll drink maybe 2-4 times a month if that and haven't ever been a hard core drinker like some of my friends I've only been drinking since I was 17 and recently I have noticed that I will immediately get a headache from any kind of alcohol, beer, champagne, vodka. Doesn't matter what, after abut half a drink I get a horrible headache above my eyes. This is a total bummer since I can't enjoy having a few drinks with my friends anymore. The headache is sometimes but not always accompanied by a heavy feeling and feeling like my head is extremely hot even if I don't have a fever. I don't ever get hangovers either the next morning. I make sure to drink lots of water before and during drinking, can anyone explain or give me advice on how to fix this? New years is tomorrow and my friends 19th b day is only a few days after so any advice is appreciated!
I usually will not disagree with experts. To the extent that the National institute for Headaches is saying that "alcohol expands the blood vessel in the brain lowering blood pressure in the brain causing headaches"; I have a problem with that. We know for a fact that the immediate effect of alcohol is the constriction of blood vessels. This is why the worst thing you can do when cold is have an alcoholic beverage to warm up. Where I will agree with them is the reason for the hangover as this is more plausible.
If you will accept the fact that initially alcohol constricts blood vessels restricting blood flow throughout the body. Then the probable reason for your instant headaches is alcohol has a profound effect on you constricting blood flow to your brain. You could say you are the type of person who smells the bottle and gets instantly buzzed.
One of the problems I foresee with this problem is it may get worse, if so it may not be a headache you have to worry about but you may have to worry about passing out. The worst case scenario here is depending how long you are past out how much oxygen is your brain deprived of and would it result in any type of brain damage. This is a real possibility.
Before I retired I was a firefighter attached to a rescue squad. Early one morning we were called to a fatality on the highway. A car had run in to the rear end of a truck decapitating the driver. As I walked up to the highway patrolmen I was about to ask if he had determined the cause. There was brain matter all over the place and as I inhaled to ask the question I changed my question to; "wait don't tell me the cause of this is ETOH?" the legal term for alcohol or substance abuse. The entire area around the car reeked of alcohol.
Alcohol goes straight to the brain and is why you get buzzed as it starves the brain for oxygen and stays in the brain long after you stop drinking. You are probably one of those people who should not drink at all. Not to mention the fact that you are 2 to 3 years shy of being of legal age to drink; another subject all together.
I'm 24/f. I recently moved out of my house and I am working on my combined masters and doctoral program. I am really trying to gain independence from them because they are controlling, in an extremely unhealthy way. Let me just give you an idea of how unhealthy they are. When my mom gets her nails done with me, and she doesn't like the color that i've picked, she will tell the nail technician to change my color and will make a big stink about it. I have class and work 3 times a week. The other days, I need to study. I have a lot of work.
At home, there is no privacy. I do not even have my own room, which was one of the reasons I decided to go to this university. I needed a place to study. I did not want to go to where I did my undergrad, because they would have expected me to live at home. Yet, they still find ways to control me nearly an hour away.
My mom cries because she says that she doesn't want me to be driving on the expressway. They even went as far as to suggest that I don't have a car with me while I'm over there so that I don't get tempted to drive back. However, I need my car to get to work because although i work for the university, I don't work right on campus. I work about 10 minutes away. On the days that I'm not over there, my mom wants to drive to the university, pick me up, and take me home. She wants me to be home 4 days a week and in my place only 3 days. I think that would be fine if it wasn't so rigid. If I wanted to come back home. But, she wants me home whether I want to be there or not, whether I have a big project or something going on. When I'm home, I don't even have the opportunity go out with friends. They don't want me driving at night, they like for me to be home by 11. Even though I don't have a "curfew," they will blow up my phone. The only way that they are okay with me going out and being out late is if I'm on a date and the guy is driving. Yet, my boyfriend is not allowed in my house because they hate him.
I just feel like they are controlling me so much. I always thought that when I moved out, it would be different. I thought that once I got married, it would be different. But, if they are so controlling, I don't know how to get them to stop. I just want to have a normal life. I don't want to come home at 2 in the morning. I want to come home at 11 or 12, but I'd like to drive. I'm a grown woman. I would like to be able to spend one weekend in my apartment (if I feel like it) and not be dragged out by my hair. I would like to be trusted to drive 40 minutes without my mom crying. I understand worrying, but she hides in bed and cries of hours if I tell her I'm going to make the drive instead of being driven. I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like life isn't worth living anymore if it's all about them controlling me. I have no peace.
I get the feeling that you might be an only child; would I be correct in that feeling? If so the problem is not you and it is not unique for only children. Parents of only children either don't want to or are afraid to let go. I'm guilty of this myself as I have only one child.
My son is 14 years older than you and I'm always more comfortable and much less worried when he is here with us then in his home 50 miles away. It took time but I learned that I had to let go and let him lead his own life. It's not that I didn't trust him. If I didn't trust him I'd be in a Looney bin by now as he has one of the most dangerous jobs you can have as he is a firefighter/paramedic. It is I just know if he is with me I can protect him more when the reality is he is more capable of protecting me.
That being said what you need to do is stand up to your mother. When you’re having your nails done and she tells the technician to change the color stand up for yourself and say NO this is the color I want. If by chance she is paying and says something like, "Well I'm paying for your nails and this is the color I want." Be prepared to pay for your own nails and say, "In that case I will pay for my own nails and that is the color I have chosen."
You are an adult if you wish to stay in your apartment, do so. Tell your mother you have work or studying to do or you have a date whatever reason you need to stay at YOUR HOME and stay there. If she blows up your phone TURN IT OFF. If she shows up at your door send her home. You are an adult she cannot drag you out of YOUR HOME by your hair. That would be KIDNAPPING and tell her so.
When she cries and asks why are you doing this to her, tell her. Mom I'm and adult entitled to my own life and my privacy. You cannot control me the way you are trying to. If you continue to do so you will force me to take out a protective order against you (this is a threat only). You need help to let go of me so we can have a healthy mother and daughter relationship. Right now our relationship is not healthy for either of us. See a counselor get some therapy before you totally ruin our relationship forever.
Keep repeating this to her and stay the course in taking control of your life. If need be get a protection order; if that is the only way you can take control of your life. The threat of doing so hopefully will be all you need to do.
You have a lot on your plate in going for a combined masters and doctorate. You need the time to do the work and you need the stability in your life to obtain your objectives. Most of all you need to take control of your life or your mother will always control you. The longer you wait to do this the harder it will be.
This question is really for people who have managed to work out relatively happy marriages. Preferably men who are experienced in marriage would be helpful too, but women might also be able to help.
I am worried about my best friend's marriage. I really don't want this to turn into a big problem, leading to him getting a divorce. He would be absolutely crushed.
My best friend is 30 years old and he moved out of state to live with his girlfriend, who he married two months ago. The two of them have lived together for over a year.
The problem is more complicated once you consider the different cultures between the two partners. His wife was born in China and immigrated to Canada when she was four years old, and later moved to the United States at age 24.
He, my best friend, is a geek who is not into sports but he is still all American. His parents basically raised him by following the American dream, they met in high school, established careers, got married and brought their own home where they raised two children, a boy and a girl.
This morning he texted me explaining that she frustrates him sometimes by giving him the silent treatment and asking if he still loves her. He is the socially awkward type who lost his virginity at age 23, after finally getting a real girlfriend, and this is his first real long-term relationship. The two of them have been together for three years. So, I assume that it's a communication problem, and sometimes the negligence of showing how much he truly loves her.
Another issue is that they never get time apart. Seriously, they are together sixteen hours a day, living together in a small one studio apartment, working together at her brother-in-law's company, etcetera.
Also, he has never had any real independence. He lived with his parents until he finally moved out of state to be with his now wife. So, his parents basically did everything for him for most of his life. His dad still pays his cellphone bill.
I suggested that they do whatever it takes to get some time apart. Regardless of whether or not that is renting a room in the beautiful state that borders them, getting a smaller friendly dog to take on walks in the park, or making their own friends who they hang out with by themselves at times. He thinks that the idea of renting a separate room is ridiculous.
At 23 I am still considerably younger than him, and I sometimes feel awkward giving advice because I really don't know what to say. Please help me help him, he has always been there for me when I needed him and it's turn to do something for him.
My mother and grandmother are stressing that I need to basically stay out of this. I dated him for five months years ago, I lost my virginity to him, so there is a history there. HOWEVER, I have a boyfriend of three years, who is absolutely awesome, and has no reservations about this friendship.
Please don't tell me to cut him out of my life, or that I'm making problems in the marriage, because I need him in my life. He is so supportive and amazing, and the past is definitely behind us.
Razhie is right, the last thing he needs is an old girlfriend offering him advice, especially if his wife finds out you are the one that is advising him on his marriage problems. There should not be a problem with a man and a women being friends even if they were past lovers. If either one of them is having a relationship problem the friend needs to back off until it rectifies itself to whatever degree it does or they become part of the problem and not part of the solution.
I know you both need and want him in your life. We all have friends like that. There are times though when the best thing you can do for a friend like this is to step back and be supportive and be there for them when and if things go down the drain. Lets say for a moment you were to offer your friend advice and he were to follow it and things go terribly wrong. Who do you think he will blame? He will not blame himself he will blame you and that friendship you value so much goes down the drain with it. In these situations there is rarely a win/win situation for the third party.
There are those among us who might be able to offer him some advice though it would be better if he wrote to us himself giving us some more details of what is wrong in his marriage and what is being said between them.
Just for the record there is always an adjustment period during the first 3, 4, 5 years of marriage. First you have the honeymoon period. Then comes the realization of what marriage is all about and the fact you must work together to make it work. This is the adjustment period where you deal with household chores, bills and everything else that goes into a marriage. There can be some rough spots during this period if they have not prepared themselves for it.
Marriage is not all sex and the good life. It is everything you saw while growing up that your parents did and may even argued over that you said will never happen to you. Then one morning you wake up and that world falls on you like a ton of bricks. This just may be where your friends are. If they truly love each other they will work through this. IF they can't as I said the best thing you can do is be there for your friend if the bottom drops out of his world.
How should I choose a topic for my bachelor paper of history, if nothing is really interesting for me?
I like soadorable__x3's answer and this is just the type of problem a professor or teacher is pair to help with. I would suggest that you leave out the part about not finding anything interesting. Just say you are having trouble choosing a topic and if he/or she can make some suggestions.
There is just so much to chose from with History I find it hard to believe you do not find anything about History to interest them. Yes some of the stuff like the Rise and Fall of Roman Empire or the Parthians takes a real History Buff.
Where you start is to look back on what topics were covered in the History classes you have taken. There has to be something in all the history covered that you can write a decent paper on.
I know. I understand anorexia is a deadly disease. I know. I'm trying to get better on my own. Slowly, but surely. I know I can make it through this.
Okay, I have a physical disability called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (type 3) its harder for me to lose weight, and I am overweight. My goal by June is 150 and I'm already doing a low carb thing, the problem is.. I'm not eating properly. And I've been losing weight. I know this isn't healthy. Is this a starting sign of anorexia?? My toe nail broke in half when all I did was hit it on the couch.. My hair is getting dry, my skin as well, and my nails are brittle. I purged for the first time yesterday; since thanksgiving. I'm also lacking energy, but yet I still exercise regularly. Am I slowly starting to fade away? 15 5'7..
What you are diagnosed with is called Hypermobility. It is a genetic disease that affects 1 in 10,000 to 15,000 and is caused by an autosomal dominant or autosomal recessive mechanism. Mutations in either of two separate genes.
Nothing in what I read said that this form of the disease affect the digestive system or your ability to lose weight. Based on this fact only I would say with a proper diet you should be able to lose weight and feel good and better and better as you do so. Based on what you have written you do not have a proper diet with which to properly diet and lose weight.
I am also concerned with the statement you made, "I purged for the first time yesterday; since thanksgiving, as well as the amount of weight you want to lose.
You only gave your age and height but not your current weight. For someone of your height, based on your skeletal frame size, small, medium or large you should weigh a minimum of 122 pound to 163. IF you really need to lose that much weight I would support your efforts but not the way you're going about it.
To obtain your goal if needed in 6 months is to fast that's 25 pounds a much. That is double to triple that amount of weight loss is harmful. The safe way is a proper diet which includes 3 healthy meals a day and 2 snacks. Count calories or do one of the weight loss programs advertised.
Purging is also harmful as the acids in your stomach can burn your throat in an irreparable manor.
Given you medical condition while it does not specifically affect digestion or weight gain/loss. You must diet under your doctors supervision with checkups based on what the doctor feels is needed to insure you are dieting properly and losing weight in a proper manor.
I know how frustrate you must be if you are as overweight as you feel you may be. I also know you want to lose this weight in time for next summers bathing suit time. Besides being harmful to lose weight this fast. Losing weight this fast has two other problems. One fast weight lose is usually regained just as fast as it is lost once you stop dieting. Two losing weight this fast will not give the skin time to properly shrink back and you will have excess skin hanging off of you which I'm sure you won't want.
My suggestion is: See your doctor and find out just what is the proper amount of weight you should lose. Then let the doctor put you on an approved diet. Follow the diet and eat properly which will include eating 3 meals a day. Most importantly stop purging it is very harmful. If you need help stopping talk to your doctor.
Success comes with time and planning. Don't give up if you don't lose all the weight you want to each week. You will have dormant period while dieting, it happens while your body adjusts. Stay the course and you will succeed.
I know none of you our docters, but I am so desperate. I'm 16 and I've been taking exlax almost everyday for over a year. Sometimes when I go off and I just have alot of coffee and then I'll go, but I have coffee every morning and it isn't working anymore, I can't go days feeling bloated and gross, and I try eating foods that will help like prunes and fruit but nothings working. Is there anything I can do? I'm freaking out please help!
You are correct we are not doctors though you do need to see one and the one I suggest is a proctologist. All jokes aside about this specialist doctor they are the best trained to deal with the problem you are having.
We all will suffer from mild constipation from time to time. TO suffer from it daily is not healthy neither is taking a laxative daily. There are any number of reasons why you may suffer from this problem though without an examination I would not begin to guess what it may be.
Your family doctor should be able to suggest or refer you to proctologist; or if you want you could call your local hospitals patient referral line to be placed with one of their staff doctors or a doctor with privileges at that hospital.
I once had a problem for which I needed a specialist and chose to ask a local hospital for a referral. I chose one of the three Trauma Centers, the closest one to me, in the area that also happened to be a teaching hospital as it has a school of medicine attached to it. I felt that this was probably the best way of seeing a top doctor in the specialty I needed to see. If you happen to have a trauma center or teaching hospital near you I would suggest calling one of them for a referral as these hospital generally have the top doctors in their field attached to them.
I've struggled with EDNOS and the last time I purged was on Thanksgiving.. But I haven't been eating enough. I used to get hunger pains, but now I drink water for food. I still eat, just not as much as I should. My hunger pains are gone, and I've been drinking water all day. It's 5 PM and I just ate for the first time today.
Is it bad that I don't get these pains anymore?
Please help.
There are two things wrong here actually three counting the EDNOS. First the water is probably masking the hunger pains and it is possible to drink too much water and actually drown in it.
You did not give your AGE, HEIGHT AND WEIGHT THOUGH IT DOESN'T MATTER AS YOU ARE PROBABLY UNDER WEIGHT. This too is A MAJOR PROBLEM for you. I'm going to assume you are hiding this from friends, family and your parents.
Are you aware that it is far worse to be 10 pounds underweight then it is to be 10 pounds overweight. The reason for this is the body is actually an electromechanical type machine designed to keep the brain alive at all costs.
The brain is of course the computer that runs the machine so there must be enough energy generated to operate all the systems of the body and keep the brain alive. When you do not eat enough the brain relies on the stored energy, fat, to compensate. When you are underweight or grossly underweight there's not enough stored energy to call upon to keep all the systems operating.
TO compensate the body will in the order of least importance start shutting down different systems. It may start by browning out these systems much as the electric company does when it does not have enough power to go around. Eventually something has to be blacked out or turned off. Usually the kidneys are first, then the liver, followed by the lungs and then the heart. Once the heart stops the brain dies and you are dead.
You may not be experiencing any symptoms yet which is a good thing but you may be. You say you drink a lot of water; how often are you urinating? Do you urinate enough to account for as much water as you take in? If not this is a possible sign that you body is already starting to compensate. This is bad for that also means the electrolytes in your body may also be compromised and this can lead to other problems.
You don't have to take my word for this. All this information is available on line in different areas related to eating disorders. This is a serious illness and if not corrected early the doctors' may not be able to correct the harm you are doing to your body.
My advise is if you are not being treated for this then see a doctor today. Go to a hospital Emergency room if you have to. If you are hiding this from family and you parents? Tell them about it today.
If you are being treated and not being compliant say so to your parents or loved ones and get to a hospital now, before you do harm that may not be correctable.
Am I trying to scare you? Hell yes I am. Being bone thin is not beautiful. The pictures you see in magazines of models are all retouched. I have seen a friends daughter die from anorexia. She was a beautiful young women until this disease took over her. She died a skeleton of skin and bones. Her coffin weighed more than she did.
You are hurting yourself and the people that love you. Get help today.
Do you think this food is worth the added cost? I wan't to do the best for my puppy but I don't know if she would even care. What do you think?
Our vet says dogs don't really care what they eat just as long as they get enough to eat. Frankly I don't believe that as both of the dogs I have had were finicky eaters. Of course both preferred table scraps over dog food. Our Poodle would eat anything we ate except hamburger.
Our pound puppy would eat just about anything we ate. When it came to dog food though she would get finicky with what we gave her. There were times when she would want hard food. Other times she wanted soft food. Then it got to the point with her that we would open the door to where her food was kept and let her pick what she wanted, she was a strange dog. Just about 7 out of 10 time she would wolf down what she picked.
The vet said there was no way she could do that. We tried to prove that when the vet would offer her a treat. She didn't like the regular ones for she knew there were better one's hidden in the desk. So we would tell her to show the doctor where the better treats are and she would usually walk over to the desk and nudge the draw where the better treats were and scratch at it.
My thinking is more expensive does not mean better, or at least better for your dogs taste. You may have to try different foods to see which you dog seems to really like. Ask you vet which they like and go from there.
My husky is about 3 years old I think she may have gotten into a small amount of chocolate. It was a Chocolate santa (Normal sized. No bigger than a normal chocolate santa) but it had rice crispies in it as well. I am panicked and I need to know if this will hurt my dog. She is a Siberian Husky and she is 3 years old. I need help.
Will a chocolate crisp santa kill my dog?
Try using the following URL to find an emergency Animal clinic in your area. Give the clinic a call and ask them what you need to do if anything
http://www.localvets.com/ml2/?v=404513740&u=0898ADD996C8EBC20210818280F80718252080A0D6F9B398F0960C
Okay. So I am sleeping over my friends house tomorrow night. It will be the second day of my period which is the heaviest. She is a really close friend and I don't care if she knows that I'm on my period. But the thing is... Her mom is my teacher. It's not awkward at all because she is my favorite teacher and she is really awesome and my friends and I have talked to her at school about period stuff. I never leak (I have a method.) But what if I have bad cramps and I look really sad or I can't do much, and she asks me why (my friend and I are in the kitchen a lot because we like to cook, and she is Usually there) what do I say? I just don't want it to be awkward.
Bree1990 is absolutely correct in the advice she has given you. All three of you are women and all three of you have to deal with the problems of your periods. It is part of being a woman and nothing to be embarrassed about with them or your father or hers.
Those of us men who are married and many who are not are all familiar with women's periods. Today we learn about them in Sex ED. This is the Biology of a young healthy women who hopefully when the time comes will be able to bear healthy children. It is a part of the life cycle. Not something to be embarrassed about.
Enjoy your night with your friend.
I'm 19, I work full time during the week. I'm starting to do things I would have never thought of doing a year ago. About two months after my girlfriend and I broke up, I went online to find an escort, I met her and payed $140 for it. It was right after work at her hotel room. I felt so horrible afterwards, what a way to lose my virginity. Then I started going to parties at my friend's house, nothing crazy, a little drinking, making new friends etc. I meet this cute girl, we talk and text a bit for a few days. At the next party she's very seductive, then she tells me that she does services and has clients. It was so tempting so I did it, I snuck her into my house and it was $110. This time felt even worse because I kinda got to know her a little bit before. I don't know what I'm doing. Last week I drank so much I blacked out and threw up everywhere. Is it normal for guys my age to pay for sex? I feel like it's a thing that older married men do. And to know that to society I would be considered a "John" I feel superficial and shallow. There's one side of me that feels so wrong, and another side tries to justify it. I'm starting to question so many things. It's starting to feel like there really is no right and wrong, and that we're too scared to face it. It's like the only reason I think it's wrong is because I know the people around me look down upon it, and we're raised to think that way. If there were nobody around to say it's wrong, would it still be wrong. I just don't feel like the same person anymore. My family and my job would never guess that I'm doing this. What do I do man? I was going to parties to kind of avoid that ironically. I freaking run into a prostitute in person. And she was like my age. I remember like if I were in high school I would like girls and talk to them, now I have no idea if they're a prostitute or doing drugs and stuff. It makes me question what normal is. And it's like you can't win. If you're too sexual, you're a pervert, but if you're not sexual enough, you're a pussy. One person says I'm too emotional and sensitive, another person says I'm cold and have no feelings. It's really confusing and I'm starting to doubt and hate myself.
Is it normal for a teenager to pay for sex with a prostitute? It really depends on what your normal is. When I was your age we still had the draft and the Vietnam war was still going on. Outside every training base were whorehouses. We were cautioned that they were off limits but most of us made a beeline to their front doors to rid ourselves of our sexual frustration. As long as we didn't return with some STD the military looked the other way.
Now today what your doing is illegal in many states. You can be arrested for solicitation. Something that is relatively new in the annals of crime. This is not something you want on your record at your age since it is a sex crime and it can cause you to be denied certain clearances or Bonding's you might need for a job.
As far as suffering from an identity crisis this is very possible. More likely breaking up with your girlfriend has injured your self-image and pride. Making you lose some confidence in yourself. Using a prostitute for sex in a manner of speaking does allay that some. Then the guilt comes and you feel worse about yourself.
My son was very hurt by a girl he was once engaged too so I think I may know a little bit about how you feel. He suffered for a long time and still does to a certain extent from a lack of commitment when it comes to girls. He has no problem attracting them. His problem is he is looking for a custom fit in an off the rack world. He is getting better but it has taken some professional help to get there. This is what I think you need to get over the hurt you feel at the loss of this girlfriend. You must have loved her very much and the breakup has hurt you more than you know.
My suggestion is that you get some therapy with a psychologist. The psychologist is going to ask that you get a complete physical with a screening for depression as well. From what you have written and the way you write you may be suffering a mild form of depression. Nothing to be that concerned about but something the psychologist would need to know in treating you.
In therapy you can discuss with the therapist anything and everything without reservation as anything you say is confidential and never leaves the therapy session. The Therapist is in fact your new best friend who is there to help and guide you to putting whatever is bothering you behind you and helping you get to a better place with yourself. In your case restore yourself confidence and allowing you to open yourself up again to others.
If you are still on your parents health insurance ask mom or dad whichever is the primary on the insurance for the number of their EAP company. EAP stands for Employee Assistance Program. This program is designed to be a confidential program to help employees and their families get help with different problems. In fact if you live at home you don't have to be on their insurance as most programs cover anyone living in the insurance holders home.
Call them and ask them for the name of a psychologist in your area. IF you feel you will be more comfortable with a male or female say so. THE EAP program will pay for the first few visits and then if you are on a health insurance program the insurance program will take over for the rest of the visits you may need.
If you give your trust to the psychologist and work with him or her you probably won't need too many visits before you start to feel better and won't need the psychologist or the prostitutes.
I think I want to be a storm chaser, but are my parents going to flip out when I tell them. I know it's my decision, but I don't want to cause them a lot of stress and anxiety. I want to help protect people from bad weather, particularly tornadoes as much as possible. I think I'd be good at it. How would you feel if your kid told you that they wanted to be a storm chaser?
There are many professions out there just as dangerous or more so than what you want to do. If you are properly trained for what you wish to do in life you can limit the danger. Proper training is the key to success in any profession regardless of its danger.
What you want to do is honorable work. As long as I was confident that you were well trained and capable of doing the work. I would be concerned but I would be supportive of you.
My son came to me while he was in high school and told me he wanted to join the Army. This was before the first Gulf war. I met with his recruiter and told him of my concerns. The recruiter told me that the Army had the same concerns and that Recruiters ran a junior boot type camp for future inductees, mainly high school students, to see if they were up to the challenge and really wanted the Army. My son entered the program and excelled. His recruiters told me he was dedicated and had the right stuff to be in the Army and they wanted him. I signed for him to enter at age 17 and he went to Boot Camp while still in High School over summer break.
He was an Army Reservist when he finished high school he finished his training and came home. He then said he wanted to become a Police officer. His military training was as an EOD specialist. MY friends were beginning to believe with his choices he had a death wish. One neighbor could not stand the thought of him becoming a police officer and got him involved in firefighting. Today he is a firefighter/paramedic just a bit safer profession then being a police officer.
I am very proud of the choices he has made and what he has become. My wife and I are very supportive of him. There are many people today alive because he was the paramedic who responded to their call for help, especially a young child, because of his advance training in pediatric care. His part-time job is in a pediatric Emergency room.
Will your parents be scared for you? I'm sure they will. If they are the loving caring parents who have raised someone who wants to help protect people. I believe that like me once they are sure this is what you want and will be happy doing and that you have the training to do so safely they will be supportive of you.
They'll criticize the new Annie for making Annie and Mr. Warbucks black, but say nothing at the entire Exodus film, set in ancient Egypt, being white washed. They'll even criticize characters originally intended to be POC, like Rue from the Hunger Games, and the laughable Dragon Ball and Avatar: The Last Airbender live action films. Why promote racism? Just because your parents, of an older time, are racist, doesn't mean you have to adapt to their flawed way of thinking. Think logically. I want a better future for the next generation, not a future where people only repeat the same mistakes.
I agree with Dragonflymagic; not everyone is racist. But racism violence and sex sell theater tickets. It also sell commercial time on TV and has people tune in for the evening news.
There was a time when there was no racism in movies, mainly because there were few if any non-Caucasians in any roles in a picture unless the storyline called for it. The only TV Shows back when TV was something new was the Jack Benny show and the character of Rochester and the Amos and Andy show with two Negro's (as Blacks were called back then in a Laurel and Hardy type show.
As our culture changes so does the entertainment we see. There has been more violence on TV and in the Movies. Some say this has lead to the high crime rate in this country. In the late 60's the country underwent the sexual revolution and along with it came sexier entertainment.
Racism is something that has been around since the time of slavery and maybe even before that. It has followed a path unlike any other and it is wrong to judge a person strictly on the color of their skin. To stop it Hollywood and the News media must stop portraying it as they do. Though as long as it sells theater tickets, Newspapers and airtime to bring us the evening news, it will take time for change to fully take hold. Change will only come if what drives change makes the change does so first.
Emetophobia as weird as it sounds is the fear of throwing up. I never thought it was a real thing until I did some research. Obviously not many of us like watching or hearing anyone vomit. Not many of us enjoy doing it either. The thing with me is even if I wanted to I just physically can't. I can't be in a room with someone who is sick from their stomach I can't stare into a toilet bowl. I have a cold & when I cough I get that urge to gag & want to vomit but I just can't is there any way to get over this fear or can make a cold go away faster?
The following is the standard of treatment that I found while researching Emetophobia. It is important that you get professional help as this is not something you can do on your home. The help must come from a professional therapist who is familiar with Emetophobia and it's treatment as this problem is very often misdiagnosed. You need to seek out a Clinical psychologist for help and you need to interview them in how they plan to treat you as well as making sure they are knowledgeable in the treatment of this problem.
At the end is a link to a chat room dedicated to this problem. Joining them may help you find answers you are seeking.
Treatment
Emetophobia can be successfully treated with exposure therapy. This treatment doesn't necessarily require that the individual actually vomit, but that he/she practice with situations, objects and activities which he fears might lead to vomiting, and which he's been avoiding. Common exposure exercises include: smells, videos and photographs of vomiting, spitting into a toilet, sitting in the back seat of a car, eating at buffet tables, spinning around to induce sensations of nausea, and so on. Simply reading this article, with its frequent use of the word "vomit", is an early step of exposure, because many people with Emetophobia try to avoid the word.
Vomiting is almost always quite unpleasant, and treatment does not seek to change that. Rather, the aim of treatment is to help people live their lives, and engage in activities that are important to them, without being restricted by an excessive fear of vomiting.
http://www.emetophobia.org/forum.php
I'd like to give some back story to this tale. Me and x have been friends since my first year at University some five years ago. We have been through a lot of family problems and relationship issues between us but always had each other's back. He has been my closest and longest friend, no romance involved as he is a homosexual.
He lives alone and I live with my fiance. A few months ago he told me that he had filed a report against a male member of his family for sexual abuse back when he was a young man some fifteen years previous (he was a mature student) I have been phoned by child services in a different part of the country and had to do a phone interview and there was a chance I could be called forward as a witness something that has never rested easy with me.
He left his place of work claiming that he has been bullied. I work in a public place where he kept visiting with another friend of ours and I could never 'join in' because I was hard at work and when I did see them outside of work they were always in a rush to leave me to get back there. I held on for as long as I could before I messaged him how I felt about the whole situation and including my distress at a few personal comments he had made to me about my personal appearance.
It was then that he completely stopped any contact between us around a week before Christmas. I already had his gift wrapped under my tree but he wouldn't answer my calls, texts and had blocked me online. I even got a taxi to his flat to drop his gift at the door and still received no word from him.
I have been very concerned about his welfare and his state of mind during the last few days but my family think I have done enough and that it is time to move on and I would be happy to do that if I wasn't so scared about hearing of his untimely death due to PTSD/Despression issues. His family obviously washed their hands due to the reports he made and he is completely isolated but I feel as though I am the only one who cares.
How can I check he is still alive if I can't get through to him?
If you are concerned that he may have hurt himself you can always ask the police to do a welfare check on him. I believe the emergency number for where you live is 999. Place a call to 999 or whatever the emergency number is in your country and ask for a welfare check on him. Give them his address and phone number. Explain why you are requesting this; depression/PTSD issues. I'm fairly certain since I think I know the country you are writing from, that the police will make every effort to contact him and make sure he is okay or see to it he receives the help needed.
You seem to be a very caring person and a good friend even if he does not want to be friends with you at this time. Once you know he is okay you could write him a letter and either post it to him or go over to his home and slip it under the door. I would suggest that you say something along the lines that you didn't mean to hurt his feeling when you told him how you felt about some of things he has said to you. That it wasn't something you said in order to break up a friendship you hold dear. Tell him you miss him and would like to meet, maybe for coffee to see if you both can find a way to repair your friendship.
If he does not respond to this communication from you. Then there's not much else you can do put to continue to try and be there for him when he needs you. Such as any testimony you might be asked for when the time comes.
Im a single mom raising 2 grown kids.. my 22 yr old son is very difficult to live with..i feel you live under my roof you need to follow a few simple house rules, my house rules are very few and basic... at his age how do you "punish" he does work full time.. but we clash often because he seems to always want to do what he wants.. house rules or not..im at my wits end .. how do we make living under one roof work? i hate to give an ultimatum (to move out) because i dont want my child to feel he is not wanted.. his dad is not in the picture...any suggestions??
You cannot punish a 22 year old as he is an adult. You are right though if he is living in your home, rent free he should live by your rules provided they do not interfere with his freedoms as an adult.
An example of acceptable rules would be no overnight female guests sleeping in his room. No smoking in your home. If he has a party you have every right to limit the number of guests and he is responsible for cleaning up after the party; you are not the maid. Performing certain household chores would also be acceptable.
Unacceptable rule would be a curfew. Having to tell you where he is going and when he will be home. Since he is your son and you will worry about him it is common curiously that he tell you the when of when he will be home and to call you if he will be late. Making this a rule is not acceptable. Any rule that limits his freedom or makes him responsible to you for his freedom is unacceptable as he is an adult.
As I said you can't punish him. If the rules you have a just and he does not wish to abide by them. You have two choices; you can charge him the reasonable and going rate for room and board for your area. Where I live that would be fairly close to a one bedroom studio apartment cost. The other option of course is to tell him if he does not want to abide by your rules and feels it is unfair to charge him rent, then he can find a place of his own.
Since he is an adult you cannot ground him, take his car away,, unless it is your car or anything else you might do to punish someone in their late teens.
So recently my cousin came to stay with us for a while and we weren't as close at first but we became like best friends now he is 26 and I am 14(girl) a couple weeks ago he kissed me on the lips. I didn't think anything of it because I thought it was an accident. But now he started rubbing my thighs and back really slowly and kind of sexually then he wanted to kiss me but this time longer. I kissed him anyway because I didn't know what to do. I feel really guilty and dirty afterwards but he seems to be his normal self. Is this ok? Or should I tell someone ?
No it is not okay for two reasons.
First: The fact you felt dirty afterwards. Anything that makes you feel dirty is wrong because you feel dirty doing it. It does not have to be legally wrong as this is but it is wrong for making you feel dirty.
Second: He is 98 years older than you. Kissing you and touching you as he did is statutory rape. You are under the age of consent to consent to be kissed or touched in that manner.
Because he is a family member he is given a certain amount of trust by your parents after all he is their nephew. That does not rule out the fact that he could also be a child predator. The way he kissed you is not right but could be acceptable the first time. The second time was definitely wrong and he had no right to touch you I the manner he did.
I suggest you tell your parents what happened. If your parents pass it off as him just being friendly. Then I suggest you tell a trusted teacher or your school principal. There are rules in place for them to follow when a student tells them of something like this.