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Is this okay?
So recently my cousin came to stay with us for a while and we weren't as close at first but we became like best friends now he is 26 and I am 14(girl) a couple weeks ago he kissed me on the lips. I didn't think anything of it because I thought it was an accident. But now he started rubbing my thighs and back really slowly and kind of sexually then he wanted to kiss me but this time longer. I kissed him anyway because I didn't know what to do. I feel really guilty and dirty afterwards but he seems to be his normal self. Is this ok? Or should I tell someone ?
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This is wrong what he is doing. You need to tell someone or push him off, be assertive. That is not okay for your cousin to do that to you and an older man that far in age, that is sexual harassment.
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Quite honestly, if ANY guy (related or not) is touching you and doing things you think are unwelcome and unpleasant, and if you're feeling dirty and guilty afterwards it is WRONG. End of story. It's not OK on any level. Possibly you might tell him yourself that he is NOT to touch you and kiss you like this because you really don't like it. And stress that if he does you WILL tell your parents. If this seems a bit of a big ask and you can't face approaching him yourself then don't try. Speak just to your parents about it. Either way it really has to stop. It's not an age thing alone. If you were 24 it would still be unacceptable. Alternatively, if you want to kiss and cuddle with a boyfriend now, that's fine. It's all about a thing called consent (meaning you want it) and your rights. You'll probably feel a bit awkward when you start, but be strong and see it through and go and have a chat with mum right now sweetheart. X
ps. As a tip, you might open the conversation with your mum by asking the question "If a man touches and kisses a woman when she doesn't want him to do it, it's wrong isn't it?". That should reallyget her attention. Then let the details all come out. I promise you she will NOT be mad at you. She will very probably look and sound a bit (or a lot) stressed, but it's not YOU she'll be mad at.
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You should tell someone.
He is taking advantage of his closeness as a family member and friend, to sexually assault you. He is counting on you being too confused and scarred to complain about what any adult woman would recognize as sexual abuse.
Tell a trusted adult. If you can't or don't feel comfortable speaking to a parent, tell a teacher or a coach. Your cousin is doing something very, very wrong, and probably criminal. He is doing is because he thinks he can get away with it. The only way to make it stop for good is to get another adult involved.
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No it is not okay for two reasons.
First: The fact you felt dirty afterwards. Anything that makes you feel dirty is wrong because you feel dirty doing it. It does not have to be legally wrong as this is but it is wrong for making you feel dirty.
Second: He is 98 years older than you. Kissing you and touching you as he did is statutory rape. You are under the age of consent to consent to be kissed or touched in that manner.
Because he is a family member he is given a certain amount of trust by your parents after all he is their nephew. That does not rule out the fact that he could also be a child predator. The way he kissed you is not right but could be acceptable the first time. The second time was definitely wrong and he had no right to touch you I the manner he did.
I suggest you tell your parents what happened. If your parents pass it off as him just being friendly. Then I suggest you tell a trusted teacher or your school principal. There are rules in place for them to follow when a student tells them of something like this.
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