Erinn_the_bamf's advice column

erm hey... i guess i really need help..i cant stop cutting myself i can not see the real colour of my skin on my arms now they are totaly coverd in purple and blue scars everything depresses me and i cant handle the smallest things i get so caught up with things that i just go for the knife and cut..i've lost many friends for this and been called so many things half the time its what people say to me ''why dont you just fuck off and kill yourself slit your wrist like you do you know like a good goth'' and 99% of the time i do ..im so weak i'm not good for anything..but i really need help too stop if someone could plz help me?? thanks ^.^chok^.^

Ask your parents if you can go to a consuler. Or even in school just go to your scholl's consuler. You can't keep doing this. And when someone says that to you just say something like "why don't you be a good little (some word) and go annoy someone else." I hope I helped!

[view]

I have chlostrophobia and my parents don't really know. Is this something i should ask my doctor about or is it just something normal?
Plz help. I keep having moments where i can't breath.

Talk to your parents or ask your doctor about it. It could get really serious. I don't really know much about it but I hope I helped anyway!

[view]

I cut. But not like most people. My arms aren't coverd nor my legs. I have scars on my thighs, ankles and wrist. I've recently taken to cuttin my shoulder. my parents know and found them. They know check every so often for blood or anything. they took all my pointy objects away but i still have a knife. they wont let me get cousling or anything because they think its bad for teens to go on meds. i cant go to my schoo counsler because-well if you knew him you wouldnt. Anyways, there are peole with bigger problems then me that need the help. my life is perfect. I have horses. i ride. i get w/e i want. Im spoiled. my parents r nice n everything unlike my friends who r abused/assulted. yet i always feel so depressed. like i cant pull myself out. i constantly cry and hide most of my feeling until i can hide to cut. i dont partically like people knowing but people find out n i dont like being known as a cutter. i get straight a's n im the good kid. least u use to be. now im this depressed, mean, cutter lil freshmen. this isnt who i wanna be. help. oh right..14 female.

You should explain to your parents that you NEED consuling. Tell them you know your life is perfect and if your this depressed there must be something wrong. Say how this could effect your life if you don't because you may cut a little too deep. Leave one in my inbox if you need anymore help!

[view]

And its causing my legs to hurt in pain. Ive been exerising for two days at the same place. I cant walk properly without having some kind of balance, and I've crawled most of the time even up the stairs. My mom thinks I'm faking it just because I dont want to go exerising again. I dont, because the pain will only get worse. Is doing the same exerise helping me or hurting me?
I'm 15, and female.

Explain to your mom that she is working you too hard and your not used to it. You shouldn't stop exersising all together but ask your mom if you could do a little less because it's too much. I hope I helped!

[view]

Me and my boyfriend have been going out 4 only 5 days. I really like him!! The only thing is that there si a party in a few days and there will be slowdancing and the game "7 minutes in heaven" and he wasnt invited. What should i do? Should I go and do things with other boys or should I not go. Hellp

You should still go. Even if he's not there you should still have a good time. You can slow dance with boys who are friends (nothing more). However (yay i used a transition!!!!), you shouldn't play seven minutes in heaven. If it's the spin the bottle type sit out. If it's the walk in and have sum fun without any derection (the better kind as i call it) then just don't go in. I hope I helped!
P.S ----> do you go to my school because there is one of those "list" thing coming up. they're having seven minutes in heaven too.

[view]

where is the best place to buy a fancy dress not formal or semi formal casual-fancy

The best place is JCpenny's or Macys. You may think it's more formal but it has both.

[view]

i heard that if u stop eating u will acctually gain weight. is that true?

Yes, it's true because your matablisum (however you spell it) slows down.

[view]

my bf isnt excactly the cutest person in the world but i love him so much. alot of the time some of my friends that i'm not that close to always ask me questions about why im going out with him. and this girls in one of my classes always says how she would only go out with a guy if he was cute. and my bf sits right behind me in that class. he's not like ugly or anything but he's not hot either. i don't know what 2 do about it when pple tell me that i shouldnt go out with him or ask me why i am going out with him. please help........

Tell them that looks don't matter. Personality/brains/good heart does. When they say that turn around and be like "he is cute to me and even if he was ugly I rater be with someone ugly and sweet than hot and mean." I hope I helped!

[view]

A few days ago the guy I used to like asked me out... of course I said yes. Last night his friend dumped me for him. Later that night the same friend imed me saying how sry they are that they would do that to me. At first i was confused on what happened, but as they kept talking to me a realized that it was a joke. They made a bet that if i went out with him for a few days he would get money. I'm not mad b/c i still like him (now i hate him), I'm mad at them b/c they were my close friends and they thought it was ok to do something like that. The thing is, is that i'm not sure if i should forgive them, they were my friends and i know i might be sry if i never talk to them again.
thanks for the help
66

Your question confuses me. "I'm not mad b/c i still like him (now i hate him),". How can you still like him but now hate him? Or is this one of those don't read inside parenthieseis (no idea how to spell it) type thing? Please don't rate.

[view]

I babysit my 3 year old niece and she gets on my nerves and i don't get paid for it and my sister makes me babysit .
What should i do?

Explain to your sister you want to get paid if you have to babysit. Say her daughter sometimesgets on your nerves. If your sister disregrds your question just stop babysitting-refuse. I hope I helped!

[view]

Is is normal for the average teenager (only child) to cry at least once a day when she's by herself in her room. And being an only child has a big issue. I came to realize that I cry everyday. Sometimes more than once. I do it in private though because I don't want people to see me. I guess my biggest reason is my parents, and the fact that I'm sick of being the center of their lives...I've gotten to the point where I feel a lot of pain in me, but I can't take it out on anyone but myself. It all seems really stupid, because it all comes from my parents. They don't beat me, and they're not necessarily "overprotective" or anything, I just hate being the only one they have to worry about... I've gotten to the point where I don't know what to do. I can't even tell them I want to seek professional help, which is what I really want--thats how distant I feel. I don't know what to do....

Ask a guidence consuler in your school if they can help you get professinal help. You will need your parents permition though. Just remember they want what's best for you so don't be worried to ask. And about the sweatshirt thing use tissues or toilet paper.

[view]

i have been best friends with Alex for 4 years. This year, i found out that he likes me. And i like him. He has attempted to ask me out but i am always busy with something else. I feel very bad because he doesnt understand how much i really care about him. He is also known as the school hottie and he flirts with all the girls at out school. I dont want to go out with someone who flirts with everyone right in front of me; what do i do??

You should say yes. If he starts flirting in front of you just tell him it bothers you. If you care about him this much go for it. I hope I helped!

[view]

Okay this may sound really dumb or something but it really needs to be answerd cause i really need the help.My friend had wanted to kill herself and then her mom had put her into a center to get the help that she needs(good for her!!).But the problem is that she is on drugs and she drinks a lot and she is only 12 or 13 years old.Well i tries to kill myself a few weeks ago and now i'm fine but my question is that should i be her friend still and hang out with her even though that she wanted to do something that i tried?Cause my fear is that she will want me to think of doing that again?Plzz help.
Thanks again
XxshortyxX

You should still be her friend. Now she needs all the help and surrport she can get. If she pressures you into doing something you don't want to get help from any adult you can. Your friend needs someone to be there for her. I hope I helped!

[view]

ok so, what do you do if you're stuck in this situation:

your dad had an affair for 3 years .. without telling your mom or you or your brothers

sounds bad enough, right?

well .. he's still with the whore and expects me and my brothers to warm up to her... be nice to her .. accept her into the family and what not. oh right, and to add to that: she has a 2 1/2 year old son who is annoying as hell.

she comes with us on vacations, and i know my dad spends the money ...that he needs to 'save' before we're able to buy a BASKETBALL HOOP? ... on her

thats not right.. and i've tried having those long serious chats with him. he thinks i'm just doing what my mother does ... hating her for no reason. she screwed over my whole life, why shouldn't i hate her? ...what should i do? and don't say i should try to like her .. cause thats not happening .. other than that i'm up for any ideas

helllp me

If your parents are split up live with your mom. I'm guessing their not from your question but if they are then do that. Anyway if they're not then talk to your dad how this is bothering you and if she tried to be a little nicer it would help. Say it changed your life and if you're as young as you sound in the question that's a BIG change. Explain to your dad your not hating her for no reason- tell him that you hate her because he betrayed your family with her. It may not be the best advice but I hope I helped!

[view]

How do you do a messy bun? I've looked all over the web to try and figure this out. Maybe I'm just not seeing it, who knows. Can anyone help me?

I just answer a quesion explaining this so you're in luck. What you do is start by putting your hair in a low ponny tail. Then take the bottom up and wrap around you skrunch (or pony tail holder whatever) and wrap the ends in. Then it just hangs low and you have made a messy bun. I hope I helped!

[view]

I'm wearing a sweater and wasn't sure how to do my hair. It's a big, off the shoulder sweater from American Eagle. I'm just wearing it with jeans. I've have pretty long hair, down to the middle of my back. What can I do?

Try doing a "sloppy bun". How you do that is make a low bun but don't use pins andlet your hair hang down a little. It looks really good. I hope I helped!

[view]

I guess the subject line says it all. I constantly flip-flop between Christianity, Atheism and Buddhism. I like a little of all, and I can't seem to choose one faith. I always change my mind. Is there something wrong with me? Am I flaky? It's just that a faith is an important choice, and I'm afraid to make the wrong one.
I like all three, but I know I have to pick one.
What should I do?

Actually you don't have to pick one. If you really want you can be all three. You just do what you believe in. Nobody can look down on you because you believe in. All that matters is you feel it's right for you. I hope I helped!

[view]

I want to die my hair like lindsay lohans in freaky friday. But i dont actually kno what color it is..so if anyone know and can tell me that'd be awsome ..thanks...

It's like red. With blonde streaks (I wouldn't exactly call them highlights). I think. I hope I helped!

[view]

ok i have this friend who is like a really good friend but i dont want to be her friend anymore but i mean i really like hangin out with her so what should i do??? thanks

Just stay away from her for a while. Tell her it's not a good time. If she keeps bothering you tell her she needs to give you some time and stop going crazy and annoying you. I know not the best advice but I hope I hlped!

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>

humorist-workshop