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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Hi,
So today in the class he told me that he's going to miss me and asked me back if I'm going to miss him as I'm away for a few weeks, I said yes of course. we have a good banter and known for nearly a year. I think we both get on just fine. anyway, when I asked him after a few chat how much is he going to miss me, he said he will miss me lots and it's weird (he seemed little sad). I asked him, what's weird because I thought he was talking about his phone as he was checking his phone while he said that, I asked your phone is weird? he said yeah right in a sarcastically tone. what do you reckon guys? he complimented me in a indirect way saying oh that chocolate bar was beautiful as much you are (he had bought us a choc bars in the canteen on a same day). he also said, don't deny that you don't like me. I replied yes I do like you. guys, any thoughts please? why did he say he will miss me and it's weird and sighed. has he started to feel somethings for me? I do like him and I think he likes me too. unfortunately we both have boyfriend and girlfriend. he touches my hand and arm a lot, I said you love to touch me don't you he replies oh yes and smiles. also, he said he's never met a girl who's similar like me. what he is thinking and saying all this?? thank you all. much appreciated! terribly sorry for the long message
It is very possible for a male or female to be involved with someone already and later meet someone they like even better. But one or both simply assume each is happy with their current bf/gf.
The reason this happens quite often is because initially, dating is a way to get to know someone better. Dating or just hanging out with them exclusively in many different situations, not just dates to movies, for example, is a great way to learn if this person is right for you or you see some behavior you can not tolerate. I know a gal whose Dad was a mean alcoholic. So she had a requirement that whomeever she married could not be even a casual drinker as the scent of alcohol or sight of it would send her still into a panic.
So before I can advise what to do, you might find it easier to make yourself a list of what qualitys you are looking for and not looking for in Mr Right.
I will paste in a document that explains it. Then once you compare both current bf and the male friend who is dropping plenty hints that he likes you or at least has a crush on you, you will then know whether to stay with current guy or break up and move on to the next. I can't say how often it may be necessary but you date to check out a guy until you've found whom you believe is the one. There is no reason to continue to date a person that you know you will never marry or stay with long term and have kids with. I can't promise you that breaking it off with current bf means this male friend will work out for sure. That it yet to be discovered by you. But its a heck of a lot easier to decide when you make these lists to go by. Once you are single again, if he is still dating, you could tell him that you are now single again and if he is interested enough to date you, that he would have to be single again too. If he doesn't do that, then keep looking and comparing guys to your lists. Heres that info now:
How to find Mr. Right
I went through this search in my late forties after an almost 30 yr marriage to a man who was never in love with me, verbally abusive and not my sexual match. I was ready to finally find Mr Right and what I believe I heard while praying, is that I had to make several lists and refine them as I went along.
First, how well do you know yourself? I used a dating site 2nd time around. It worked for me to find my true love. However, to fill out a profile for yourself, to really describe yourself, your personality and who you are at core, is hard to do, like writing about your work strengths in a resume. So this is just as important as a resume only more so. You can easily leave a job that doesn't work out. Its much harder with a boyfriend or husband. So its best to be able to describe yourself well for those few you meet who may be promising. This is not just those met online but any you meet in person as you're out and about. They will have something specific they are looking for as well and need to be able to recognize the possibility that you may be the one for them. Or hopefully they will, if not, they may not recognize that you are the one for him and that is too bad for him. You want a guy who sees the real you inside too and will know he wants you, the whole package. You'll need this list or bio on yourself before you can form the list of what you are looking for in a guy.
So, ask yourself what it is in life that lights you up, makes you not just happy but content and feeling fulfilled. Ask yourself what is or are the passions deep inside that push you to seek out certain hobbies, pastimes, certain people with the same?
I'll give you an example. One of the things that make me passionate about certain things in life is that I am a nurturing person deep at core. This nurturing desire needs to be expressed and has been through several different avenues. For one, being a mother and raising my kids, now grandkids, loving planting and tending a garden, and yes, giving advice in an advice column. All of these things require a person driven by nurture, such as my wanting to be of help to you, to see you break free of whatever is holding you back in life or keeping you unhappy.
Once you have defined yourself with some really good descriptive words or scenerios, you will be drawing on this list to make a specific list of criteria of what is most important in a guy.
If you need help with the list of yourself, please just ask me and I will help.
Now, for the list of what you feel is Mr. Right for you.
Actually, there will be two lists. A list of Must Haves, things which if missing are a deal breaker because they are that important to you. Do not let any guy tell you that your criteria is extremely unreasonable. I got that often. It means the guy can't meet your criteria, can't meet your Must Haves and wants you to lower your standard for them and they don't give a crap about who you are and why these are your criteria. A deal breaker would be “I want a guy who wants to have kids” “I want a guy who isn't afraid to commit, settle down and marry” “I want a guy who is open minded spiritually and will allow me to believe whatever I do without trying to convert me to his belief” “I want a guy who never raises his voice to me and is able to calmly talk things out.” “I want a guy who isn't a smoker or recreational drug user”.
I for example am very allergic to cigarette smoke or the lingering odor of it. Guys who smoked met with me pretending at first that they didn't. Sitting across a table at a restaurant first time, I couldn't pick it up but when riding in their car on a later date it was heavy cigarette odor in there. He claimed he didn't smoke but later by habit pulled out a cigarette and felt it was okay to lie to me cus I might fall in love once I got to know him and the cigarette smoke wouldn' t matter. It mattered that strongly to me and pissed off a couple guys real badly but you have to stick with what you want. This helps to eliminate guys with major character faults, such as being inconsistent, liars, cheaters, etc....
Do not worry that this is extreme. In fact it has been found in tests done that men (the good ones worth having) are attracted to a woman who knows what she wants, a woman who will stick by it without making excuses or apologizing for it, not afraid to ask for or state what she wants. This attitude is basically having a strong self confidence and self confidence in a woman is what made these good men choose the confident woman over the model types in looks in a test case study.
The other list is the what you want, like the icing on the cake. It is not a need or requirement but would be nice. This list you don't share with the guy. Its for yourself in case you find several guys who meet all the critieria of your other list, to help you choose from among them.
So here is where you find things like, he likes to go dancing, he is a musician or sings well, he likes gardening, has interest in meditation, has long hair, has a 6 pack. I listed that I wanted a man who was height and weight proportionate. This means maybe there might be some chub but basically they will look reasonably okay without looking like a body builder. These things are not deal breakers to me, but if they are to you, then they're in the wrong list. This list is things you would like to see but if you don't get them, you can live without it, for the rest of your life.
I promise, these lists will help. You'll also refine it or think of things to add as you run across guys or problems that you didn't think needed to be in a list. Then if not using a dating site and posting these out there right in the beginning, at least on a 2nd date if a guy asks you out twice, (means he is reasonably interested in you) tell him you have something important you need to share with him. It's important to you. Then recite your list to him. If afraid you may leave something important off, have copies of your list in your purse to hand out to a guy. If he looks at you like this must be a joke or asks such, keep calm and smile nicely and let him know that you are very serious and have resorted to this measure because simply going out with just random guys in the past and into a relationship resulted in the wrong guy each time. It is okay to give examples if he asks. Make no excuses. If he gets upset or has a problem with any of your criteria, you could ask him why, but you can't rely at this early stage whether he may be telling the truth or not to get you to trust him and lower your standards. It is best to tell him you've decided to not consider him, as if he was an applicant for a job and his resume just isn't enough to get the position of 'boyfriend'. Think of yourself as your own human resources manager, looking for the perfect applicant for the available position of 'boyfriend.' Obviously, you will have to turn away many hopefuls. I even had some guys beg me to choose them by the end of a first time meet up. That killed it. Spoke volumes of them feeling insecure, wimpy as males, and having low self esteem, all of which I wished to avoid.
Hope this helps you. This is a lot said and yet there is so much more detail to share. So ask me if you have questions.
So I work in fast food and have been doing sandwiches since I started and I was able to avoid working at the cash register for 3 months but now the time has come and I don't know what to do. I don't want to interact with customers or take people's orders cause I have anxiety, and if I get criticized I can't take it and you know how people are when they're hangry. Any tips??
I agree with Adviceman that:
Social anxiety is a handicap that will prevent you from reaching your full potential. I used to have it, so I would know. I actually had it very bad. I was cured of it without medicines as the medical community did not address the issue of anxieties nor have medicine for it. Medication only masks the problem. Its like placing a bandage over a cut or scrape you did not disinfect and it grows to become pus filled and sore and all you keep doing is slapping new bandages on with out going after the root issue.
I have heard the advice of picturing people naked and thus vulnerable, more so than you, as a method to get over being afraid or nervous or anxious. I knew it back it HS. I know it has worked for many people. I can only suppose that perhaps depending on the severity of the anxiety, is whether this method will work for you or not. It certainly won't hurt to try. I tried it for doing book reports but it did not work for me. I was happier taking a D in class for not doing book reports than even attempting to do them.
However at the time I graduated HS, I was sick and tired of being like this and knew it would affect me greatly as an adult if I could not navigate my life without being able to speak to people. I was as scared of you at potential criticism coming my way. I always assumed the worst and never thought it was the other person who had issues and felt it must be me. I hated that feeling when someone said something in anger to me and it felt like a spear stabbing me in the heart along with a jump in the adrenaline and heart beat increasing. Sweaty hands and feeling weak and shaky sometimes accompanied it too. I just shared that to let you know I was in your place. I also worked fast food but that was more recently in my 50s, for a year and 1/2.
I was hired as cashier because they had too many non English speaking people at the time. I know that all fast food restaurants want the customer to feel welcome and so they stress being polite and interacting with the customers. I did this naturally as i have been doing for years. I am now more outgoing and bold than people I once thought to be so outgoing. SO there is hope if the other tip doesnt work for you.
I got so desperate to be rid of my anxiety that I was willing to diligently do anything I had to, to get over it. Odd as it may seem, I actually prayed and asked GOd what to do. I was given one step at a time to conquer before even being told the next one. It was simply, worked quickly and I could go at a pace comfortable enough for me. In recent years, I picked up a book on anxieties and non medicinal methods of being cured of the various types of anxiety and was surprised to find the exact same method God gave me, outlined in this book. So I will share those steps with you in case you wish to try. I will say that the steps to feeling comfortable conversing with customers are ones that will be employed daily no matter if working or not but will impress the boss if you are using them with customers. i found once I was comfortable talking to strangers, I something about that gave me a level of self confidence that helped me to be able to handle the few times someone got critical or yelled at me. It didn't bother me much, mostly just surprised me. It is a very small percent who actually do a verbal attack and more times in fast food, it is directed at the entire staff, not just one person.
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there Also start at the point where you have anxiety. For me, I was terrified of even looking people in the face and just smiling. If you can do that, move on to the next step. For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
Learn the register well and don't worry the first weeks worth of days you are training for and doing the register. You need to feel comfortable with that before you try anything other than a simple greeting of Hello, how may I help you today, with a smile. I also had to go clean tables in between when there were no new customers coming in so I sometimes chatted with a customer briefly while cleaning a table near theirs. Compliments always work. You can even compliment men if you like the saying on their tee shirt or they seem overdressed in a suit and tie. I remember saying "Wow, you are overdressed for this place. Nice suit." The guy smiled and said they just came back from a wedding and were just grabbing food to take home." "Ah, so thats explains the suit." I'd reply and that was all I said other than taking his order. No long convo's as time is of the essence in taking orders but a short exchange like that takes around 10-12 seconds. Once you are more comfortable with cashiering, you can add short comments too after you've handed them their change or reciept. One time the next guy in line had a big ink blotch on his shirt pocket. "Oh dear, I commented, did you know you have an ink stain on your shirt? I pointed. He figured it was ruined and i told him of two products that might take it out. He was so grateful for the info and kept thanking me.
There will be regulars who come in daily if not twice a week. Regulars are important to fast food.
i tried to memorize one or two new names a week. just say that you see them all the time and feel bad you don't know their name, and they are glad totell you. I could be busy handing change to a customer when one i know by name comes thru the door and i call out, 'hi Nancy, hi Bill. People just love being greeted by name if regulars. It shows a level of interest and being happy they came in again. Makes them feel recognized and appreciated and that is what many fast food places will try to train their employees to do. Most are not personable enough with customers and I remember the regional manager not counting enough employees interacting with customers so his solution was hide all the creamers and sugars rather than having them out so a customer would be forced to ask for them and the staff member having to ask how many and what kind of sweetener. To his thinking, that was interaction with customers. Heck I could have taught a class how to do that. Making them ask for items they needed was a sad and poor non effective way to force sharing a word or two with a customer and will not make a customer feel anymore appreciated and glad to be there. I had customers calling me by name as they came in the door and as I swept or cleaned tables, they would be eager to share something with me, or I was the one they came to to alert if someone spilled their pop on the floor or that bathroom was out of soap or toilet paper. They could have told anyone but consistantly choose to interact with me due to the tiny bit of interest I showed them and it was not a memorized line that the company taught us to say. Thanks for coming in doesnt sound genuine anymore after you hear the same line over and over where ever you go. People really do like more personal interaction than only that. I hope this all helps you with the new position and helps you in talking with customers.
If a customer has a issue and starts yelling at you bringing up a sandwich not made right or their order was wrong, remember, you didn't make the sandwich but customers tend to complain to the face up front. Follow instructions they give you on how to handle complaints. Half the time, it was as easy as calling over the store manager or shift manager.
Let me know how this works out for you. I really do care to know as I had both things, anxiety and fast food experience in common with you.
My 19yr old daughter started an online long distance relationship with a 17yr old guy about 7months ago. They have never seen each other is person except through photos and video chats. He claims that he loves her and wants to marry her in 3yrs and move in with us. I asked her why in 3yrs and she said because that is when I graduate from college. I realized that he is waiting for her to graduate and for her to get a good paying job since she will have her degree, and then live off of her (like a gold digger). When I told her what he is planning to do is use her, she got angry and said that it wasn’t true, and that he will work and help us too. She won’t say what he wants to do as a job, as she doesn’t know. He is not planning on going to college after he graduates from high school, so what kind of a job is he wanting to get without an education. I am so worried that she is being deceived by this guy. She has never had a b/f before so I think she wants a relationship, and is tickled by it. By someone calling her a princess and saying I love you. She had told me in the past that she never wanted to get married, but now this guy has infatuated her and now she wants to marry him and says she loves him. I told her how can you love someone you haven’t seen in person, but she won’t answer me. I am worried that she is growing closer and getting deeper into this guy that has false intentions and is trying to shack up with us. I am already supporting my daughter as she attends college. I don’t need another person to support. She is a great student, has an outstanding academic record. I don’t need a teenager trying to use her, and prevent her from getting her degree, and ruin her life. What can I do to make her understand that this guy is not in love with her and is just out to use her after she graduates from college? I have raised her on my own for 19yrs so there is no father figure to get advice from.
I agree, sounds fishy to me too.
LDRs, long distance relationship, or even any on line relationship where one hasn't met the other in person does not mean you'll be compatible when you meet. Theres only some things you can fall for a person via the screen. In reality, I went thru this after a divorce, doing on line dating. I knew how important chemistry was. Its something you can only feel in person when with the other as is pheromones that tell you. So even though I may have talked a week on phone before meeting in person, there were a handful I thought might finally be the one for me until we met in person. He was still handsome, smart with a great sense of humor but sadly, both of us would realize instantly there was no chemistry.
So that is one reason this is not a good idea.
The other, if he simply wanted to be an adult to be able to marry, then he doesn't have to wait 3yrs, only one year. So obviously, he is thinking of finding himself a Sugar Mama.
Thats the second bad part.
Third, the daughter is now an adult and you can not tell her what to do. I have adult children a few years older and i know how hard it is to get them to listen when we know from experience something is not good. Too many still learn by the school of hard knocks. All I can advise is in any situations, ask if she'd like to hear your opinion or some insights on the matter. If someone told you that something was so...you may resent it too.
We can't be 100% sure he's up to no good, but I am tempted often to say things too. I don't though. Instead of this is whats happening, I might say well theres a couple differebt ways to look at this. I do it for the column here too, leaving the final decision to the individual but giving them all the info they need to make a good decision. However some may still make a bad one thinking its good. You can't prevent that. what you do have control over is who lives in Your house. I would let the daughter know that she is welcome to live with you thru school, and after while she is starting a job and saving up for her own place. But tell her that you only extend this for her, not her bf, not even if she married, a husband. It will be her and his duty to be self sufficient.
hello there, right, when I said goodbye and see you in a months time after the lesson, he replied, keep in touch ok take care. now, I know the meaning of keep in touch but I don't know in his situation coz we tease and laugh also disagree from time to time. wondering if he wanted me to text him now and then. we're friends but also I have to admit I'm developing a teeny tiny crush on him. he's never said keep in touch before. he just looked gloomy while he was saying that. Thanks
You mentioned a lesson. I don't know what kind but lets say its music lessons for an instrument. If you won't see that person for a month, perhaps all they mean is for you to text or email once or twice during the time they are gone with something related to music like, "I have been practicing playing Beethovens Piano Concerto #3 very diligently and today my parents just said they noticed I was playing much better today. You know, stuff like that.
Lots of people say things out of habit or politeness that they don't mean as a gateway for you to begin telling them your life history, funny stories and how you feel, all at once.
We greet people with "How are you?" instead of saying Hi. But if we say how are you, every once in a while you get people who will really tell how they are.
"YOu really want to know? Well, I've had a headache all day for 3 days now and I suspect its due to fact I need a new pillow to sleep on. Plus my brakes started squealing and the neighbor threw trash over the fence into my garden, well garden waste but thats totally .... " and so it goes.
The phrase,, "Keep in touch" is another one that can go both ways. Sometimes the person means it just to be polite and other times really cares and wants you to keep in touch. That is why its best to stay on the safe side and not bombard him with tons of emails or texts or phone calls. Just assume it was only for politeness sake and act accordingly. Now lets say after the month is over and he's back, he asks why he didn't hear more often from you, then you could say he only asked you to keep in touch which you did, updating him twice. So you are wondering how often HE was hoping to hear from you. I don't know if he's just a friend or a tutor/teacher. If a friend, you could say, "You are making it sound like you want to be a bigger part of my life than just a friend by wanting to hear really often from me. And that puts him in a place where he has to explain. If he doesnt explain, ask him to explain as you can't read his mind. If its a tutor, you could use the words "a bigger part of my life than just student/tutor". If he does not make any move on you asking you out or asking to be friends or trade cell numbers, then likely he does not have the kind of interest you do. As to looking gloomy, I wouldn't try to read into a facial expression. For all you know, he might have had a bad headache that day and we all tend to look in pain or gloomy when not feeling up to snuff.
So a few months back i was going through her drawrs to find a certain shurt i was looking for.
Then i see this big object wrapped in a towel - i dont know why i unwrapped it because it was obviouse already im looking at a vibrator.
Also in the same drawer there was an electric tootbrush and a candle which im sure are also used for the same purpse as the vibrator.
Now, i accept the fact that she does that and i shouldnt have looked through her things but MANY TIMES since then i see the electric toothbrush and candle just laying around in full display on top of her night stand or in the bed. What should i do?? Its really making me uncoftarble. I think shes sick for having those things used for masturbation just displayed like that. Does she think im stupid? That u wont figure out what an electric toothbrush is doing in her bed all the time? Please help, how do i tell her about this if at all?
Is one of your chores to clean Moms bedroom or make her bed? I doubt it. But if it is, then you may ask her to put anything she uses for masturbation, out of sight.
As for sharing clothes, if you want to borrow any of her clothes, that is okay as long as she knows about it. After all, all my girls liked borrowing clothes of mine. However do not go in and obtain the top or whatever, yourself. Ask her if you could borrow it and ask her to get it for you. If she tells you to go get it yourself, only then do you say you'd rather have her go get it so you don't have to view any possible sex toys left out in the open.
Otherwise, there is no need to bring up something that is private for each individual as to whether they use any sex toys and what they use.
In what I say next, i don't mean to sound like I am on your Moms side. You are likely very young and not ready to see such things or interested in only for yourself but like most children of all ages including grownups, we don't want to try to picture our parents having sex or doing masturbation. However it is a normal thing for anyone past puberty, no matter how old. Another reality you likely have not experience yet yourself, I will share to possibly explain why such items are left lying about. Once a woman has had a good orgasm, or two, she can be quite drained of energy and so relaxed we sometimes fall asleep before we can put things away. Not always, but I'd venture to say a quarter of the time. If one does this activity every night, then of course sex toys can be left out. By sex toys I am including any household items including sometimes certain vegetables.
I will close with what I remember from an Oprah show long ago when she interviewed a female gynecologist. This women also was an advocate for sex education as far as letting people know how healthy it is to have sex. She cited 3 or 4 health issues that can come up if women do not have sex regularly. Men have their own set of issues as well. So if one does not have or want a bf or friends with benefits or has a marriage partner,, then it is vital to do masturbation. ONe benefit for both sexes is its a good stress reliever. But theres much more.
SO in the end, to avoid seeing these things, do not go into her bedroom under any circumstances. If she gives you permission to go in, then let her know you don't want to in case she has these things laying about. And then you could ask nicely of her to keep these things hidden and out of sight. Otherwise, say nothing.
A couple of years ago I took a bunch of classes and only passed one class. I got overwhelmed with all of the assignments, some were hard and I had bad anxiety. They told me that passing that one class saved me and now I'm on academic probation. I want to take a different course now. Will they let me change?
I know of a person who changed what they studied and degree they went with so many times that I am no longer sure how many. It was probably around 5 times and became the family joke as this was a family friend. Each time we saw him, we'd ask if he changed his degree again. As to qualifying for any different courses, you'd have to check with the school, counselors or whomever is available to help you plan what classes you will take. It will be like starting over except that some classes taken before might apply to a new course and direction you take.
I hate my life, i hate who I have become. I don't want to life. How can i change, i want to kill myself.
As Rosexx said, it would be helpful to know exactly what it is that you hate about yourself. Once we know that, it may be easier to give advice. Hating ones life is another story but related too.
It helps to know your age on that issue, and what you hate about your life. If its just who you are, your character, personality, self image, self confidence, phobias, depression or having been mentally or physically abused growing up or currently, etc....there are solutions to all of that. Often it may not be something you have decided, chosen or done but what has been done for you. There are usually ways to get help there too but its knowing who, where and how.
I can make an attempt at telling you if there is change you can feasibly do to change but I'd need more info please.
Hi, I had sex with my bf on 25 of last month and my period date is 13 itz been 20 days I dint get my periods. I always get my periods on time probably this is the first tym it got so delayed. We had used condom and had done a water checking and it dint leak so still is it possible dat I may be pregnant plez help?
If no cum leaked sideway up and out of condom as he's wearing it, then probably not pregnant.
More likely just the fact that you are worried has delayed your cycle. Womens cycles are very easily delayed and in one case comes earlier.
Early if your period is regulating to occur the same time as other menstruating females you spend every day with. IT can be as easy as being around Mom or a sister, or daily with female classmates.
It is later when body is stressed. I can be mental stress and worry, the stress of an oncoming cold, sickness or even hayfever or the fact you just got over something like that and again regulating later to occur at same time as other females.
23/f
I've suffered from clinical depression since I was 15, officially diagnosed when I was 18 after my first suicide attempt.
I feel as though- w/o the depression, my life would be great. I see and deeply appreciate all the blessings in my life... However, my depression is ever-worsening. It feels almost completely chemical and out of control, and my therapist and my physician both agree to this after seeing my symptoms firsthand. I've been on meds, off meds, tried diet, exercise, talk therapy, essential oils, religion, and many more methods to cure or even dull my depression, but I feel like I might have to accept the fact that for a small portion of the population, their depression is for life... myself included.
I'm to a point where it's getting hard to function. I can't do basic self-care like showering, brushing my hair, etc. More importantly, I find it increasingly difficult to work. I worked at a high stress, high paying job and had major panic attacks every day and had to resign to prevent getting fired. Now I work as a simple cashier and am VERY happy with the job. But I make little above minimum wage and can only handle working 25-30 hrs a week. But even that is starting to become VERY difficult. Were it not for my awesome boyfriend who works at a high-paying foundry, we'd still be living in his parents' basement.
I need help. My boyfriend and I have been together 4+ years and we love each other. However it must be a huge stress/burden on him to have to work so much and support me, almost as a caretaker, all by himself. I'm wondering what I can do, what steps I can take, since it feels like I wont be able to keep working for much longer, putting ALL financial responsibilities on him. Any advice would be appreciated.
Kudos to the boyfriend for not having been scared away by the issues you have and yet still being loving and supportive. I do understand not wanting to be a financial burdon on him. You might at least want to discuss it with him rather than surprising him with 'I quit my job today'. Let him know what you are thinking, how you are feeling and see what he thinks.
As to steps you can take, please understand you know your situation totally as to what has been done and what hasn't, than I would know. So I would have to ask specific questions to see if there are any possible steps to give you. Yes, I agree that there are some people who truly have clinical depression and the only cure is medication. I have learned in experiences with others in my life who had depression that there was another way to try to help depression without automatically giving them meds first. So I need to know if you are familiar with CBT, known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You mentioned talk therapy and there is talking done with CBT but it is more on the part of the Dr instructing you.
I grew up with extreme anxieties and it wasn't until I turned 18 (a time when no Dr. treated anxieties yet, it was unheard of) and I wanted to get over it and be cured. I heard from God a list of what to do to get over the anxietys I had. Imagine my surprise upon reading an author from a borrowed library book who used to be a Psychologist, turned author, (whose book had the exact same things to do to be cured that I followed from what I heard God say) to teach not only other Drs but people that there is a better way.
He went on to discover that some people are still quite difficult to help due to their resisting the therapys and came up with a second important drill to use when coming up against this in a person. He called it for short T.E.A.M. The author is Dr. David D. Burns. He has a website you can go visit if curious. Since he isn't practicing as a Dr any longer, he will provide the name of a psychologist you can contact if you wish who can give you referrals to Dr. in your area, or as close as possible who use both CBT and TEAM to help patients.
Heres the link to the website: https://feelinggood.com/
Since nothing else has helped, if you know you definitely haven't tried the methods I mentioned, and want to check every possibility to find a way to get a little better if not totally cured, then it may be the thing to try. I can tell you one thing, the first time I read through the website years ago, I came across a list of people who wrote in to thank him. I remember a woman who had suffered severe life crippling depression for her entire life and was in her 50s before she finally came across this therapy. SHe said she is now totally cured and leads a normal life. Thats great but also said it took so long for her to come across a cure for her. What I have learned is that ALL humans get distorted thoughts from time to time. Its that inner voice saying things you feel are true but in reality are just distorted thinking. Lots of us catch ourselves doing this and just choose to stop focusing on giving so much brain power to unproven, distorted ideas and probabilities in our minds. SO as far as having distorted thoughts, that is common issue underlying both anxieties and depression. Having had anxieties, I know how great the therapy works and so much want to see you try it if you haven't.
I know life in general can be stressful too which you may feel will always lead to depression but there are ways to learn how to handle stress or when feasible, remove yourself from stressful situations. I have left jobs that were stressful, I left a marriage due to an ex that mistreated me and that was so stressful it affected my health while I was with him. I no longer have any of those stress related issues since leaving and divorcing him. So you did a good move to go for a job you were happier with. You just need to find what helps with the depression. I wish you the best dear. Other than what I have shared, if CBT and drugs haven't worked for you, I don't beleive there is anything else to try for getting better, at which point you simply learn to come up with a routine that you know you can handle. This might include seeing if you can qualify for disability if is possible since you could be unable to work, and avoiding things that stress you out. I know its no good way to live but if you truly have already been treated with the non medicinal choices of CBT and TEAM and not been helped, then there is nothing else. These therapies have been around for around 40 years so its not anything new but the schools that churn out new psychologists do not tend to teach this method or if they do, stress it only works for some but that medication is the better choice for all. What student becoming a new Dr. isn't going to want to do what works best for ALL patients as they've been taught and told. The actuality is that what they believe is actually backwards, remember medication is proven to only help a very small percent of people and the majority are cured by the methods I mentioned. Good luck Hon and I wish you a bright future you can be content and happy with.
Right, I'm sorry but it's little too long. known him for a year but we both have partners yet we do tease and joke. we just get along. he's got good sense of humour. very nice guy. basically, we can talk about any topics but not sex until he started to ask very recently, when I'm rushing with the project he asked like (jokey but not in a gross way) are you this wild in bed oh I like wild, I said I think I'm ok, told him come on, this is embarrassing chatting about the sex with you he said, we both are adults and we're friends so it shouldn't matter. I said ok but I'm little embarrassed, he said I'm sorry, won't bother you talking about sex then, that moment I couldn't resist and I ended up saying I love sex as I do and don't mind anytime, when I said don't mind anytime he was like alright ok (you're like me then he wanted to say probably coz I could tell by his face expression). asked me about the position and how'd I like it, I said I'm normal, asked him back the same question he said hard, we just laughed afterwards. I think we like each other I think he knows I like him because this guy at college was hitting on me one time and I said no chance with that guy and he asked me do I have a chance with you (few times), I asked back what do you think? he said don't know yeah if we both are single, yes you have a chance with me and he smiled. So, do male friends talks like this with their female friends or just messing about? or is he starting to have a feelings for me or nothing else? could I have an honest feedback please? sorry for the long details. thank you ever so much
I love and totally support what Adviceman had to say. The best long term relationship/marriage do start as friends and at some point as the two get to admire more than just what attracted their attention on the outside, will find themselves having deeper feelings for each other as they get to know the person inside.
In case you are entertaining thoughts about the kind of guy who goes to a female friend to be his
'wingman' or that person he can ask all sorts of questions to help understand females, it is entirely possible for long time friends to feel comfortable enough to ask each others thoughts on sexual stuff. However you have only known each other a year. So its more likely he is not asking what you like because of something his girlfriend says females don't like in sex. Everyone is different after all.
Therefore I feel he must have found he is having doubts about her making the perfect sexual partner. In the beginning, dating is just a learning process to discover more about a person you are visually attracted to, to discover if they can make a great friend and if there is enough sexual attraction and ability to be each others sexual equal. I will explain that as having most importantly the same level of libido, how often a person wants to have sex. Some do not require often and are happy with once a week or twice a month and thats okay for them, there is no right or wrong amount. Others want sex a couple times a week, once every day or a couple times a day. The trick is to finding someone who wants it as much as the other or close enough so they can compromise. my exhusband was not a good sexual match and didn't want sex hardly at all where I wanted it a lot more. Then theres how willing both are to try new things, maybe role playing, different positions, fetishes, bdsm, etc. I know most people don't like talking about sex like this and feel uncomfortable but this is actually a very important area of a relationship and without, a partner will become frustrated and either go cheating, or end a relationship. I am not your normal, average person. 2nd time around, I got on a dating site and did what Adviceman mentioned, having a list. My list was of what traits I was looking for in a man. So when you make a list of qualities in your male friend, vs your bf, you'd first need to know what is most important to you. Here's where I can help.
I made a list of criteria a guy had to meet for me to consider even meeting him in person to see if we could feel chemistry...matching pheromones which one can't pick up on the net or on the phone but in person. When I met with men, I was the one to bring up the topic of sex because that was important to me. Most guys were taken aback and shocked and I told them I had learned the hard way in life what works for me and what doesnt.
The list you need is one of Needs. Not to be confused with Wants. A need is a must have, non negotionel and if not present in a guy, a deal breaker. A want is the little extra, like icing on a cake. It's a preference you have for something but if he doesn't have that trait, it would not be a deal breaker.
Examples of each:
A deal breaker, you want kids someday. He grew up in a family of 8 kids and never wants to have any kids. That would be a deal breaker. You must not attempt to change a persons mind to do something they still do not want. No one should change who they are for anyone for that persons sake but only make improvement changes they want. Having kids or not is not an personal improvement change, just personal preference.
A want that is not a deal breaker: I wanted a guy with long hair, who loves to dance. My 2nd husband has the long hair but he doesnt dance. I was willing to let that go as he had all the other qualities I needed and wanted. No one is going to fit exactly the Mr. Right image but you need to be sure that the parts that are not the best match are not things that would be detrimental to a relationship, cause strife or a break up.
It is entirely possible for a person to be dating someone they thought was the best they ever met and suddenly they meet someone they realize is better than the one they are with and in comparison realize now that staying with the first partner would be settling for less. A commitment to date and be bf or bf is not a commitment to a life long relationship, whether married or not. But some take dating as that serious. There are couples who have not married but dated and decided they both are happy with each other and no longer want to search for anyone else and they both voice their decision to commit to each other. The other such commitment is getting engaged and married.
So don't let the fact that he is currently dating someone else or you too, hold you back from thinking you have to stick with the current partners. Even if a couple has made a life time commitment like marriage, how many of those end when we grow wiser as time goes by and realize the person we are married to just is not the right one.
26/f
Hi there,
So my friend asked me to be in her bridal party which is great news but I also found out my ex-best friend whom I was friends with for 17 years, is also in her bridal party. I introduced them and they became friends which hurts me because I always imagined my ex friend to be in my bridal party. We stopped being friends when I went to college because I realized she was never there for me like I would be for her, she would never visit me when I came home from school either. So I just lashed out one day and and I feel unsupported and may be better we aren't friends. I felt bad how things ended and tried maybe 3 times to contact her to meet for coffee or something not to be best friends but to be civial again you know? and she never answered me back so I gave up, she also deleted me off of her facebook friends. Fast forward 5 years and now whenever we are in the same room, we rarely see one another but get together for our friends events. When we are in the same room we avoid each other and basically pretend the other is'nt there it's just awkward. I'm hurt by how things ended and how she didn't answer my calls, so how can I suck it up and act nice to her after how our friendship ended and pretend 17 years never existed? I'm by no means confrontational and I'll suck it up and say Hi to her since we will be seeing each other a lot but it's such an awkward situation to be in, she was my former best friend! I guess my question is how should I approach the situation? Should I pretend that everything is okay and just talk to her like I would to any normal person like nothing is wrong?
Thank you!
It obviously bothers you greatly to write for advice. The fact she avoids talking to you probably means she still carries hurt or resentment to how you handled things. It doesn't matter how long one has been friends, friends can part ways as they grow and mature into people who no longer get along as they did when younger. This happens often during HS but more so in college or even in ones early thirties. Just because we made perfect friends in the past doesn't mean we remain close friends. She may have changed personality in some ways where you were no longer a perfect fit as a close friend. It doesn't mean you became someone terrible or theres things wrong with you. This is often why guys and gals dating only last a few dates before one or both realize that the other person just isn't as close a match as both friend and lover. This is part of life.
If I am correct and that's why she stopped hanging with you and went for the mutual friend getting married, then she made a normal choice of change to her memory. What she likely did not do is have a talk with you as a long time friend and say something to explain that she was growing closer to the other gal and has discovered that she has changed her interests, and enough change to her character that she no longer feels as close to you. Its not you but her. She would like to remain friendly towards you, acknowledging you but currently finds that 'so and so' is a better match as a close friend. SHe's ask to stay friends but not be as close.
As you can see, this is a painful thing to reveal to someone. Some peoples egos would be hard hit by such a confession. It depends on how its delivered. Those able to sense the things that our senses don't pick up on, will be able to hear the love and concern for you as a long time friend but also their sincerity in wanting you to know you are not the problem and likely give a good hard hug at the end to let you know they still care about you and didn't want you to be confused or feel bad to find her spending more time with 'so and so'.
So my analysis is that she could have said something but this kind of insight is usually learned in hind sight by going thru the experiences and realizing how it could have been handled better. Then you reacted in anger one day and said it was better if you were not friends.
That totally blew away the concept that People come into your life for a Season, a Reason, or a lifetime. Obviously, she wasn't meant to hold the position of close friend for a lifetime. She may still be occasionally in your life but the close friend part was likely only meant to be for a Season. So she is of course hurt. I can't say that if you open up conversation that she will even see that she also could have handled things better, but if you don't want to lose her totally and make this event less awkward for you and maybe her, then you will need to start up convo. And I suggest that you don't start up blaming her. Best to apologize for what happened and now that time has gone by, you realized you could have handled it all so differently. You only reacted that way out of hurt and feeling like being dumped by a close friend. You realize now that people can change enough over time so that someone who was perfect for a close friend once, may have new interests and grown into someone who doesn't make the best choice for a close friend anymore. YOu feel badly for totally shutting off all communication and just want to apologize. If you can't bring yourself to do this, then nothing will change. It still may not but at least, you will know you've apologized. She can either accept or not accept the apology and hold a grudge. You can not dictate how she will respond, that is for her to learn. Life is all about learning things all life long, lots of it, interpersonal stuff like this, interacting with other people. So if she chooses to still be cold towards you, you can know she isn't ready to learn the lesson of forgiveness yet, so just pray for her that someday she will and enjoy the wedding knowing you've finally done the right thing, apologizing.
Hey there,
just curious about my male friend calling me all these pet names like baby, babes, sweetie pie and darling. the thing is he has recently started to call me baby. I don't mind being called all that because we're good mates and we always have a banter when we see each other we joke and argue at the same time, more of a disagreement on a certain topics, I would say but we just gel well. he also said, 'you're making me falling in love with you' and smiled when I bought him lunch at college. well, sometimes he buys me and sometimes I buy him. I like him a little but I don't know about him. why would he say all this? any reason? Appreciate the answers!
I have met males who never call a female by their actual name even if they know it but use terms of endearment with each female they speak with. I would have to say, the greater majority of them could be doing it because of some kind of mental image they have in general about women. And believe me, once a female learns to trust her intuition, she will instinctively know if his talking like this means he is hitting on her or if it is just how he talks to women. My husband is polite with women. Out in public,I often hear him saying Yes M'am and No M'am. He is very intuitive and picks up on when a person needs some support in way of a compliment and will pay a compliment. I am usually with him but I have observed without being next to him also and only once in all the women he has called M'am or Hon, I have only seen one pick up his intentions wrong. She was a cashier and saw me in line with him and immediately after his compliment, her eyes darted nervously to mine thinking probably the gall of this man to compliment her (honestly) while I was standing right there, obviously with him.
So trust your intuition....it must be picking up on something for you to even write in about this.
If you think it odd for a male friend to seem to act like he is interested as more than a friend, that is actually lots more common than you may think and one of the most popular questions asked here...how to know for sure.
The best way is to simply ask him which should be easy to do is the guy is already a friend.
you need to say something like what you told me.
SOmething like" I have noticed how over time and more recently you have begun calling me pet names or terms of endearment if you will. I wonder if this is simply part of your personality and how you talk to any female you are comfortable with or if you possibly are having feelings of more than friendship." (Here is where he tries to answer you, gets scared and refuses to answer or cautiously asks why you are asking and you will need to give him some kind of encouragement to tell you the truth.)
I have been thinking, that if you feel for me as more than a friend or are just curious, how would I feel about it and I am not sure. I like you as a friend but can't know yet that it would work out as more than friends, however I am willing to give it a try.
out of habit and not really realize it
Hi,
why did he ask for a kiss (three times) before we finished our project? is it because we're not going to see each other for 3 days? we were joking and I asked him why, he said just want to give you a kiss because you're nice and kind girl, that's all. we've been friends for a long time. nice lad. we've hugged twice when we went for a few drinks ages ago(nothing happened) and gave me a kiss on the cheek. we get on fine. so, is it ok or weird to ask for a kiss to a female friend? do guys ask for a kiss to their female friends, normally? thank you for the input
I love to use 'turning the tables' or putting yourself into his position. So lets say, you asked a guy, not once, not twice but 3 times for a kiss, what possible reason you could have for asking for a kiss? Most likely the answer is because you are attracted to and like that person very much. How often do you see people going around asking others they know for kisses?
Now as to the meaning of a kiss? It can be a playful thing, kind of like a high five but to someone you are much closer to, even a male friend, doesnt' have to be a boyfriend.
A kiss is a way to show affection for someone. A way to show them how special they are to you.
He is being very plain with his hints and for some reason you are not picking up on them. If you are waiting for him to make a more definite move like grab you and just kiss you without asking, you may have to wait til hell freezes over. We are living in a time when it is okay for women to make the first move. A real good guy will use his manners and ask, not just take, at least the first time, until he knows the lady feels the same way about hom. Guys fear rejection. But when its two friends, if the feelings morph for one person from friendship to something more, its too scary to make a move and be wrong, especially if the girl is showing no signs or giving off hints that she is open to taking the friendship a step further now. Yes, a couple can start as friends and move on to be a romantic couple. Its actually the healthiest possibility for a partner. The best relationships have a foundation of both best friends and best lovers. If one is missing, it won't work out well.
Now in some cultures, or a few families who are free with their emotions, its common to give kisses in greeting or parting. I've seen this more with my generation but mostly in even older generations. I know couples who are close friends where the females greet the other husband with a peck on the lips and your husband exchanging a peck on the lips with the other wife. A peck of a kiss rather than a drawn out romantic kiss is the most common to see out in public and doesn't seem to bother people too much who have issues with PDA's.
My guess is either he chose to start as a friend even if he already had feelings for you in hopes that you would grow to like him as more than a friend, or he just felt friendship only in the beginning but somewhere along the way as he got to know you better, he fell for you as a total package, liking what he saw inside and out, and thtas why he said you are nice and kind. He see's that you are a good female in character and that is attractive to him as well as the looks.
Before you overthink this all and think maybe he only likes your character but is not too attracted to your looks since he didn't mention it....I will share what I've found from experience. Yeah, there are a few guys who have no particular type of female in looks that they prefer, but the majority only approach those they are attracted to. for many males, as they begin to grow older and mature from HS and for college age for some, they eventually realize that if a female does not have those physical qualities that turn his head (according to his likes, not what the media says is pretty,) then he is not able to find the interest in being sexual with her. When males are young, any female can catch a guys interest sexually, but if he is the type who takes notice in her character and personality, then he most likely will be the kind of man who only has eyes for the female he is drawn to. My 2nd husband is like that. I am the only female who interests him. His first wife keeps in touch due to the daughter they share, but in looking back, he realizes now that she for him was just him settling for way less and I've met her a few times and wonder how he could ever stand her for as long as they were married. So if you are interested in trying to see how being bf/gf goes, then you will have to make the first move. Ask him out on a date. Make sure to make the first move for a kiss or move. A man will honorable intentions/a gentleman, will not force himself on the female but leave the choice up to her to make the first move. That's what I had to do with my husband. I was waiting and waiting to see if he would kiss me, there were plenty of chances but nothing, even though from things he said and his body language, I could tell he was very interested in me. So I kissed him and assigned a reason to it...he had fixed a little book of mine that had pages falling out of it and said thank you and then gave him the kiss. Its a good thing to plan, a kiss to thank for something, and that way, if you did read him wrong and he is not interested that way, he will just accept that as a thank you but not pursue. Once a male knows the female is interested enough to kiss him or be in close proximity to him and still comfortable with him, responds will positive teasing back so he knows she is interested, then you won't have to encourage him ever again. Its like the green light a guy waits for. So if you do kiss him in thanks for something and he begins to kiss you back passionately, you'll know he got the hint and he most likely will need no further encouragement and you both naturally ease into becoming a romantic dating couple.
i dont know where to start. im so frail and i trust and forgive people too easily, especially my so called best friend.
ok so i dont mind if we hangout with our other friends, but she said that if we hangout with other people, we have to tell each other beforehand, and i was ok with it bc it didnt rlly bother me. to some this might sound controlling but at the time i thought she really is my best friend and will keep her promise but turns out she cant keep a promise that she made me follow. so then these past weeks ive hung out with other people which is not her and ive told her every single time, and everytime her replies are along the lines of these "wowowow im ditched again" (when shes not even close with them), ".....k", "wtf ok im not ur best friend anymore" just disapproving and trying to convince me how bad a person they are, trying to convince me to not hang with them, and i have to reassure her that no one will replace her spot as my best friend. this is not the first time and it has happened in the past. its not like she doesnt have friends, she actually do have a lot, more than i do, but i dont mind because i thought as long as we are still close its ok. but then she hung out with other people without telling me. im not mad that she didnt tell me, im just confused about why she would do something that she made ME promise her not to and a promise that she started herself. and everytime i found out by going on social media and im just generally confused, and a little disappointed, i guess sad as well to why she would break her own promise. and the thing is that we will like chat, act like nothing happened and the next hour i will discover that we broke her promise again, but i wont confront her, because im scared that it will ruin our friendship. i know this is probably a bad thing, but i just still wants our friendship to be here and ive allowed her to run all over me these past years and just simply dont know how to stand up for myself. thats why im asking who ever is reading this, what should i do?
i might not have phrased it well, but i hope who ever read this mess will be able to tell me what i should do, thanks
I agree that she is not controlling.It takes a lot more to be controlling. If I am correct by past questions posed, you are college age, whether you went abroad or not to study. I understand in HS everyone has their anxieties and insecurities but after HS, it's time for a person to mature and learn to grow up more and become more self confident.
I believe she feels insecure, very insecure to ask you to let her know when you are meeting another friend. I am in my late 50s and never ever in my life has anyone done that to me. I am close to my sisters and talk about everything. They have never had anyone ask the same of them either. It just is not normal hon. You can not be her therapist. Caving in and doing this for her is not going to help her. She is trying to avoid a situation that makes her feel insignificant, unimportant, unloved, unpopular, etc etc....
Treat her the same as you do other people. You do not call through your entire list of friends, lets say 9 people to let them all know when you are planning to meet up with person number 10. Its non of their business to begin with, whether they know each other or not. So stop doing this. Next time she asks, you let her know that you did this for her for a while to give her some time to adjust for whatever was causing her to feel the need to ask you this. But you are no longer going to do this because no one is ever asked to do this. Tell her you still care about her as a friend but she's not the only person in your life. The only scheduling she is going to hear about is the ones when you ask her out to lunch or go see a movie or whatever, only that which pertains to you and her getting together. If she doesn't like this, then she will have to walk away from the friendship.
Hi F/18
Me and my bf had intercourse. We used a condom and I had a low chance of getting pregnant( had sex 2 days after my period ended). I took a pregnancy test 2days before the day I actually should (2 weeks after sex) and it was negative. My period is due in a week but I have really bad cramping in my lower abdomen. I have a waterish discharge and it's colourless. I feel a bit queezy but not as much. No change in my boobs. What should I do?
Doesn't sound like theres any chance of you being pregnant then. That fact that you just happen to feel sick and cramping are not related to sex and could be just the natural cramping that some women get with the on coming of, or during a period. I did not get cramping every cycle, only some of them. Then even if nothings happened like this before, theres always the first time for it to be some other womens health, cycle related issue. To determine if it is serious or not needing treatment, you would need to see a dr. or a gynocologist.
All I call tell you that my Dr. routinely tells me as signs I need to come in for check up is if:
1. You have bad pain
2. You have pain with sex
3. YOu're experiencing much heavier bleeding than before.
So I suppose these are signs that could signal it being something a Dr. needs to treat for. Don't worry, its usually always things easily treated with medicine if so. For example I know a gal who had heavy long lasting bleeding with cycles when about your age. The Dr. gave her a prescription to take to make it stop and go to normal cycles again.
My guy friend said, I love you and smiled like bit nervous smile, he's never said that before but as I was helping him with his few homeworks plus I always help him if I have time, he goes on says, I love you because you're a genuine girl. But when he said that he sounded like he's been actually wanting to say that for a while. I just said, thankyou. We both looked at each other. Guys should I ask him, did he really mean that or just testing my reaction? Being mates for a long time I think we do have a chemistry. Please help! Thanks
Guys don't confess love easily. Friends/mates of oppostie sex usually don't share that info for fear of losing their friend if the friend doesn't feel the same way. People say things all the time that they don't truly mean. Some men feel love but are the quiet silent type and won't say so.
SO how can it be proved that he is telling the truth? A man will back up what he says by his actions. I understand that this may be just the beginning and you're not in a couple relationship yet but I will add in here a list of things to look for that signal a guy loves you which may come in handy for the near future for you. If you feel chemistry, it sure sounds like he wants to date you and be your boyfriend. He's already said enough to get a reaction out of you and he is waiting for some sign back from you that you want to give dating a try. If you don't feel love yet, thats okay. You have at least interest. I wouldn't call it testing you. He was merely putting out the bait, to see if you would bite. So its your turn, if you are interested enough to at least give it a try, then ask him if he'd want to try being more than friends and see how it goes. I am sure he'll jump at the chance. good luck
if a woman hits on another woman does that make that woman getting hit on gay?
This sounds like another question from someone I already had answered in detail. If so, you already know you are not gay and that the actions of the one hitting are wild chances, and don't mean a thing.
If you are a new questioner, the simple answer is NO
Does where a man cums mean anything?
Not totally sure what you want to know. By where, I would assume you mean whether indoors, what room,, or outdoors and where? If so, the answer is, no...it doesn't mean anything. Where you choose to have sex is up to you and people have done it anywhere and everywhere. As long as you are not doing so in public where there are other people around to witness. That will get the police to come and talk to you.
I was thinking about enrolling in the CNA program next year, and I was curious to see how difficult it is. The on,y thing I'm kind of worried about is math. Is the math really hard? How is the class? Any information on this would be helpful.
I have a daughter who took classes to become a CNA. That was the easy part. Was so proud when she graduated with the degree. She kept in touch with everyone in her class. The sad part is that only a tiny percent of that class, maybe 5 people got jobs as a CNA and the others hadn't after months of searching. She gave it a good hard attempt, even offering to work for a while for free to gain work experience in the field and was taken up on the offer by a person in private practice. He could never hire her later and she finally gave up on finding a job that she was trained for. She had heard, as well as I have that the medical field is a growing job opportunity and with not enough people to fill the jobs. I am now wondering if that was just hype to get people to go to school for it. We live in a major big city that is growing leaps and bounds so I would think opportunity is there. My daughter never mentioned any math and I never took classes for that so I wouldn't know how much is involved. If there is a way to talk to previous students at the program you are interested in, that would be helpful to see how many ended up with a job as a CNA or any kind of job in the medical community.
Do you guys have any tips on how to stop seeing guys as potential boyfriends? I dont have any guy friends but i want some now but everytime im around guys attractive or not i get tongue tied and awkward, then start to do anything in my power to avoid them. Please help thank you
YOu are correct that you are looking at each male as a potential boyfriend, the reason being that when hoping for a boyfriend, a girl will be afraid to approach him to talk or if conversation does start and the male has the kind of looks that appeal to you, you also get tongue tied and awkward and its because we are too worried about making a bad impression as its so important a thing to us.
Only you could know if its really a lack of self confidence as you will experience it in all area's of your life and lack of self confidence will hold you back from taking the chances with a guy.
If however, you have no problem in other areas of life and talking to other people, and females and guys who are not attractive to you, then it is only the fear of being a klutz or doing something stupid to ruin your chances that is holding you back. The best way to cure this is to face your fears. Thats easy to say but how does one go about facing such a fear? I used to have extreme social anxiety, now i am confident and able to converse about anything with anybody, no topics forbidden.
What I did was not avoidance but to actually approach the guy I was attracted to. You can try several tactics once you get started but the first thing to do is to admit your problem. That will make fear go away cus your fear is no longer hidden. Another fear could crop up, like what will he think of me? Once you start doing this over and over, you will see that no one ever says that it is a bad thing and either will think or say that you are brave for being able to admit it. Guys like to be of help to females, thats one trait of males. So you might try saying something like. "HI and their name for greeting or if you don't know them, Hi my name is.....and I have a problem. I was hoping you could help me. I get tongue tied and feel awkward around guys. for some reason, I've never quite learned how to talk to and feel comfortable around guys. I was wondering if you might be interested in being friends and helping me with that."
YOu can do something like that in your own words but best to admit straight off about the tongue tied thing in case you do get tongued tied after that and then you could say,dang its happening again, I am tongue tied, all while a really nice guy would be trying to reassure you. If a guy is shy or afraid of rejection from females, he may be very willing to actually help, even the outgoing confident ones may be attracted enough and willing to help you get through it and gain your confidence. After you are comfortable with one, you'll find it easier to do so with others doing the same thing if you ever get stuck.
I know it sounds like a terrible and scary solution and you may want to try other things first. But I know it works cus it worked for me.
That saying about taking a leap of faith is soo wrong. The reason so many don't take that leap is because there is no faith that it will work out, there is only fear. So it may as well be called 'A leap of fear'. Its exactly what the words imply, that you take that leap or that chance and just do what it was you wanted to do even though you are feeling fear as you contemplate it, fear and you start taking those actions, start opening your mouth to talk, and the fear that makes you fumble for words. But if you do what I say and ask for help and mention your fear that will make the fear finally go away and according to my experiences, it never comes back, at least not with that one aspect or situation you feared once. Good luck hon. If you need to gain self confidence in all areas of life instead, then let me know and I have special instructions for you to try to gain more self confidence.