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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
23/ F
I am going to start with I think I have always been depressed in some way my whole life. I never told anyone I was constantly feeling sad for no reason. I thought being sad was normal and that's what people should feel too. My depression goes in spurts...signs of me thinking I have depression is constantly telling myself I'm not worth living on this earth, that people are better off without me, I would pinch myself hit myself in the face things like that. I think I have aniexty also. these episodes I have of hurting myself affect more when I am working and put under stress. About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. I had never been so sad in my whole life. He said that things weren't the same and he said that he was feeling depressed and didn't want to be with me anymore. I thought my whole world was falling apart. Over the weekend 4th of July I felt so sad no one was around me my parents were gone my friends were all away I felt so depressed I wanted to take pills and die. I looked at my medicine cabinet and was going to take something and I scared myself, I called my older sister and told her how I was feeling. She was worried for me and spent the night with me. I went to my doctors yesterday and told her how I was feeling. She prescribed me on a low dosage of Zoloft. I only have taken 2 days first the side affects are awful. But I want to get better. I hessisted on telling my mom about my prescription we are really close but she doesn't understand. When I told her she kind of freaked out and told me nothing is wrong with me and I'm not depressed. Some of my friends tell me I'm not depressed and I just have a little aniexty . Is it normal for me to be on Zoloft? How long are people on it for. I feel like something is wrong with me because I am on medication. I wonder to myself if this is wrong and nothing is wrong with me. My mom told me my depression is temporary because of my breakup and thinks its redicilous to be on medication. My sister told me to ignore her thoughts because she thinks this is going to help me. I understand it takes a while to kick in but will the side affects go away? What will I feel after normal?
Like you I have suffered with depression for the better part of my life. It took an auto accident before I finally sought help. From what you have written and the fact that your saw your doctor and she prescribed Zoloft for you, I would say you fit the medical definition of a person suffering from depression.
I am going to make several suggestion that I would like you to consider if you would like to find out what is the primary cause of your depression and correct the problem. Anxiety is only one cause of their is something causing the anxiety that needs to be found. What I suggest is as follows.
Will you feel normal? You will feel better which in our case is better than the normal we felt.
Take care and I hope you follow my advice for I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you follow my advice.
1. Seek out a Board Certified Psychiatrist, no you are not crazy. Depression, clinical depression which is the most common type is caused by the lack of one or more chemicals in the brain. While you PCP has made a diagnoses and prescribed a good drug, it may not be the best drug for you. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has had special training in a fellowship in psychiatry and is best qualified to treat you and prescribe medication. Primarily the psychiatrist will prescribe you medication. There are newer drugs with less side effect which you may tolerate better.
2. You will also need to have talk therapy with a psychologist. In therapy you will work to find the root cause of your depression. Once it is found you and the psychologist will work together to find a better way to handle it and lessen the anxiety it is causing you. The therapist is going to be your new best friend someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to. If you're not comfortable with your therapist therapy won't work. If you're not comfortable with your first therapist find another until you find one you are comfortable wit. I was luck my first therapist was one I could be comfortable with and we worked well together. Nothing said in therapy leaves therapy without your written permission.
As for your mother's feeling concerning you being depressed. You are 23 years old and adult. In this case your mother is wrong. She is probably of the belief that depression has a stigma attached to it. She is wrong. Statistically today 1 in 3 people suffer from some type of depression. As an adult you do not need your mother's permission to seek medical help and she cannot ask any doctor or be told of any medical information about you without your written consent as you have full medical confidentiality as an adult. This also means you do not have to tell her anything about what goes on in therapy.
As to your other questions. Will you get better? Yes, I did, how long it will take depends on how well you work with your therapist. Will the side effects go away? Talk to the psychiatrist about any side effect the medication give you. Normal ones would be a dry mouth and a lower sex drive.
As your body gets use to the medication, takes several weeks, your sex drive may come back but the dry mouth may stay. You carry a bottle of water with you, no big deal. When you go off the medication the side effects go away.
I live in Mid-Michigan, and I am applying for jobs all over the state.
Let's say I get an interview with a company in Detroit, which is two and a half hours away from my present location.
If and when I get asked in the interview "When can you start?" what should I tell them?
I know the things I absolutely need to do before I start, if I accept a written job offer from the company, are:
Give my boss a minimum of two weeks notice at my current company
Find an apartment in Detroit
Pack my belongings and move down there
How should I answer the question?
Most employers expect a minimum of two weeks notice. If you ever want to use them in the future for a reference then two-weeks is the minimum notice you should give unless there is a contractual requirement for more.
Answer to your question: You should tell your new employer you need at least two weeks to give proper notice to your current employer. They will expect this or the advertisement would say needs to start immediately.
If you have any vacation time accrued you can request this time off to look for a new apartment in Detroit. Many employers do not pay untaken vacation time when an employee leaves so it is expected they will want to burn some of it off or as much as they can before leaving. Use any vacation time you have to look for a new apartment. Being new to the area you could even ask your new employer for some places to look.
If you have to start your new job before your apartment is ready also look for a motel that offers weekly and monthly rates. Some motels do not advertise monthly or weekly rates. If you find a convenient motel ask if they have a weekly or monthly rate and tell them why. They may have a unadvertised rate to offer you.
Then take what you need to have until your apartment is ready or you find one and put the rest of your things in a storage locker until you are ready for them.
Ok so I'm a girl, 12, and I've known I'm lesbain since i was in pre k. I am not really sure how, i just DID. So I used to be pretty lax about showing it until about 1st grade when i realized it wasn't natural, and it was abnormal. Then i was careful to hide it and made sure i was in a relationship/ crushing on a guy so no one would suspect everything. But i always dated a guy for two days and freaked out when things got serious because i know i didn't want this. But I want to want this because I have heard homosexuality is a mental disorder and it can be fixed, so i am trying to fix it and i think a friend is catching on because she notices that I'm acting lesbian and i need to get a boy friend because then she'll just think i was messing with her so i need a boy friend to make everyone think I'm not lesbian while i try to heal. So how can i get a boy friend really quick?
First let’s correct one misconception you have. Being Gay or Lesbian is not a mental disorder and it is how you were born. It is in your DNA form birth. This is now what scientists and doctors believe about people who are homosexuals. This is not a disease that can be fixed.
Normally for a 12 year old to write and say they feel they are Gay or Lesbian I would not agree with them. You just don't wake up one morning and say I'm gay. You though have said the magic words, “I’ve known I'm lesbain since i was in pre k." This is about the time when someone who has been born as a Lesbian or Gay person starts to notice they are different then the others. There is nothing wrong with being Gay or Lesbian other than the fact that many people do not understand and as you felt they feel it is a disease or a choosing. It is neither it as I said the way you were born.
What you have to do is stop denying it to yourself but you do have to, for the time being hide it from your family and friends as they will not understand. As for dating boys for right now at your present age you simply can say you’re not into dating or the truth without the mention of being a lesbian, that no one you know excites you enough to date.
At some point in the future you will, as the saying goes, have to come out of the closet and declare your sexuality. Most likely to your parents first; just how to do so we can discuss in a few years. For now it is far safer that you keep your sexuality to yourself as kids your age especially will not understand and could physically hurt you.
"Jane Doe" keeps asking me for help and advice but I don't know how to help her. Her boyfriend...well now husband, is abusive. He isn't physically abusive (yet) but he is definitely mentally/emotionally abusive! She is only 21 and he is 24 or so. We have been friends since high school and ever since they got together it's been a whirlwind. My boyfriend, family members, and other friends say I should give up. They have been together for four years give or take a few months. She is not allowed to see her family, her friends, he checks her phone an computer like clockwork everyday. He has to know where she is at all times. It's like she's in a prison, and he was actually a prison guard a few years ago but got fired. She has 'tried' to leave him many times, but he talks her out of it, or she changes her mind at the last minute. I know the statistics are that you have to leave at least 6 times before it sticks? I'm not sure.
She isn't supposed to talk to me but we do talk sometimes, through email. That's the only thing he doesn't think of checking.
She feels so bad about herself. She has said he is the best she could ever get. She was raped when she was 15 by a 50 year old man in her church. The case was overturned and he was never charged. It happened for months and she blames this on herself. She says her current marriage is because of her 'affair' with the old man. I think him sexually abusing her has deeply messed her up. She has never been to counseling or anything. Her husband forced her to marry him because I guess that gives him even more control.
When she decides to talk to me she says she wants to kill herself, she's so sad, and other things like that. Then she'll turn around and act like she's happy and tell me to leave her alone. What is some good advice? I've tried everything I'm about to give up. I don't want her to die, or for it to get even worse and get to a physically abusive level. She won't leave him so I don't know what she wants me to do? Her familyk nows about this and aren't really doing anything. It's even worse now that she's married because they are super religious and don't believe in divorce. He has messaged me before I blocked him on facebook and told me I will pay if I don't get out of their relationship. But she comes to me begging for help and to talk to her.
For one thing by listening to your friend and being a shoulder for her to cry on you are in a sense enabling her not to do anything about her situation. I know that must sound strange to you as she is calling on you for help. But she never follows through with that help. Right know what your are doing is leading her to water but she is refusing to drink. By walking away she may be forced to drink the water.
By being there and listening to her and offering advice this is the enablement. What you have to do is force her to stand up and do something. You need to tell her you have given her all the advice you can that you will always be there for her. Until she is actually ready to leave him there is nothing else you can do for her. She should call you when she is ready to leave him and you will come get her and take her someplace safe.
Once you have done this look on the web to see if there is a House of Ruth or other battered woman's shelter in your area. If not look for you county's or city's crisis intervention center. Contact then tell them about your friend and ask what and how to get your friend to them when and if she calls you.
Be prepared with the phone numbers you need to so you can pick your friend up, make the calls needed and take her to a safe place. Do not take her home to her parents as that is the first place he will look for her.
Where you drop her off is not generally where these women stay. These organizations have safe houses or hotels that they put women in so there spouses or significant others cannot track them down. If her husband asks you can genuinely say she is someplace safe I kno9w not where.
So a few years ago I met this English teacher. She's 41 and I'm 16. We've grown extremely close, in that we text every day and we go out to movies and dinner. The outings are new, and they're so much fun. I always have a great time with this teacher, because we just click. We go out with another one of her recently graduated students. This relationship has been confusing me for a long time, because I feel very close to this teacher and didn't know why. This past year I realized that she was feeling similarly about me (she e-mailed me about her feelings). My attachment to her isn't romantic. I'm a straight girl. Recently there's been some friction in my household because my mom voiced her opinions about how she found it weird that my teacher would hang out with me outside of school. I know that it's weird and unusual and my mom finds it creepy, because why would a teacher want to spend so much time with her student? I just keep on asking myself where my teacher's professionalism is, and how on earth things came to be this way. I don't get along that well with other teens. I love spending time with my teacher, but sometimes the relationship creeps me out so much I feel sick.
As long as the relationship is not sexual there is nothing wrong with it.
I had a shop teacher in Junior high school that I stayed in touch with when I went on to high school. When I was older I worked for him over the summer in his construction/remodeling business. I met his wife, was to his house for dinners and baby sat for his kids.
There was nothing strange about our relationship, we were friends, student/teacher and coworkers as well. Today people might look at our relationship and think otherwise as teachers are not supposed to have any type of relationship with a student outside the classroom even after they graduate.
If the relationship between you and your teacher is simply platonic there is nothing wrong with it. As with my teacher there are some teachers that just bond with some students. Your teacher may just be one of those teachers.
I've always thought that I was straight. I'm a sixteen year old female. I've been watching this show and I began to realize that I had feelings for one of the female characters. Some scenes where she's kissing other girls really turns me on. I've also realized very recently that I have feelings for a girl a year older than me who just graduated from my high school. I've just lost interest in the boy I'd been crushing on for a few months and have been texting and chatting with this graduate instead. I don't know if I'm making all this up in my head or if I'm really bisexual. I don't want to make a move on this girl because I'm reasonably sure she's straight, plus what if I kiss her and it turns out I'm not bisexual after all?
You are probably not bisexual. Given your age and where you are at in puberty I would say what you are is sexually curious. Most teenagers do experiment sexually with someone of the same sex at some time during their teenage years; both boy and girls. Why do they do this? Simple it is safe and less embarrassing.
You may very well turn out to be bisexual but for right now I would not put a label on your sexuality it is too early to so. Losing interest in a particular boy does not mean you have lost sexual interest in boys.
Question, not to pry but are you still a virgin? Meaning has a boys penis actually penetrated your vagina. This is the definition of lost virginity today when intercourse occurs even for a second. If you have not had intercourse with a boy or sex with a girl it is extremely hard and wrong to put a label on your sexuality just because you have feelings for someone of your own sex. This happens to all of us especially in our teenage years as the hormones of puberty confuse us.
I'm not saying go out and have sex with a boy or a girl and decide which was better. IT would be wrong and you still won't be able to tell for certain if you are bisexual or not. What I am saying is relax, your normal for your age and just let nature take its course.
When and should you find you are bisexual, if you are still in primary school keep it to yourself as this label is not one well understood by kids in primary school. It is better understood and accepted in college. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual just as long as both parties are consenting to sex of any type there is nothing wrong with it.
Why is it so hard to have a relationship simply because you refused to put out?. What's so wrong in wanting to keep yourself for one man only ?. Most guys feels dating automatically equals sex, but come on, how many guys do you expect a lady to sleep with before she ultimately gets married?. Why, why, why,?.
Please do not think of remaining a virgin as "refusing to put out." That is not the case from your reasoning. You have chosen to remain a virgin until you marry that is your morals or religious beliefs possibly both. There is nothing wrong with this and it is a far cry from refusing to put out which has the connotation that you have sex with some but not other.
I do not know your age and it really doesn't matter. You have made a choice to remain a virgin. Good for you. There is a man out their who will cherish the gift you are keeping for him to give to him on your wedding night.
While it is true that most men are looking for sex it is because men have a biological and physical need for sex. It mot just that they are horny but if they do not spill there seed, as they said in the old days, it gets physically painful for them. Masturbation helps but most all men prefer the real thing.
There is a man out there for you so stay the course. Just remember to keep your head about you. If on a date and you go to the ladies room always order a fresh drink when you return. You never know if a guy might spike your drink. Never drink so much as to get drunk. Never walk alone at night. If you must go out alone at night order a taxi.
There are men out there who will value your virginity as the gift that it is. It will not be all that hard to find them. The guys that just want to have sex with you don't love you they lust for you. Lust is not love but to young men Lust and Love are synonymous
So we were sitting outside of our house by the pool. I CSS wearing a swimsuit, so my arms were exposed. She then lifted my arm, and shouted at the top of her lungs, "you need to shave that armpit hair!" People were outside, and they all heard her! She always yells at me for not thinking before I do something, but here she is doing it now! I mean really, why would you shout that outside! I've been rambling enough now. I just don't know what to do! Please help me! :(
This is a though question for two reasons. First I would like to know your age and second I really do not know your mother so it makes it hard to give advice that she will accept.
If you have armpit hair you are going through puberty which would put you at or close to your teenage years. You have a right not to be embarrassed in front of people. The problem is for some parents we forget our children have gotten older and are now self-aware and do get embarrassed.
As a toddler and a younger child are not as self-aware and we can correct them in public without embarrassing them. As children grow older they become more self-aware and they become embarrasses over things they should and shouldn't get embarrassed over.
As a parent I will take the blame for this for all parents as we forget what it was like when our parents would embarrass us and we swore we would not do it with our children, Then we forget or we don't realize you have grown up. The solution is you have to remind us as my son had to remind me.
There is two ways to do this. The first is to sit down and talk with mom and remind her you are older now and self-aware. Remind her there are things she does that embarrass you in front of friends and strangers that you wish she would not do in such a manner but save to do in private. The other way is when mom does something like what you have written about is to turn to her and say; "mother that was embarrassing please stop.
You may have to do both before mom remembers you are older now. You know mom better than anyone so you decide if my advice is helpful or if it will cause you to get in trouble. If it will cause you to get in trouble then I suggest you speak with a favorite Aunt or grandparent who might speak to mom on your behalf.
Lately my husband has been picking fights with me over anything and everything. No matter how small, it turns in to a knock down drag out ending with him telling me I should just go to my moms or telling me I should probably leave. It seems like he is always tip toeing around things while he waits for me to actually say them so I can be the bad guy. He may say "You just need to get your stuff and go to your moms, its not working out" and I'll say something along the lines of "fine if that's what you want ill get my things" and he will follow up with something like "you always leave". Then thirty minutes later he just acts like nothing ever happened..It makes me feel crazy. I don't feel like I should have to beg him for forgiveness over petty fights that turn in to him telling me to leave. It feels so immature and its hurting me. How do we get over this or can we?
You use the word "lately" in describing what is going on between you and your husband. This is a key word as it means this is a new dimension in your relationship with him. It does not necessarily mean something is wrong with you or you did something to upset him or cause him to be upset with you.
Most likely something has happened with him to cause his behavior at home to change. The problem will be to get him to tell you what is going on that cause him to be short tempered and fly of into these rages. The fact that after the cools off he realizes he upset you and he is all peached and cream again. It is understandable this would make you crazy.
If I were to make a guess I would think that most of these rages take place Monday through Friday. If I'm correct then the underlying cause could be stress at work. Just what this stress could be would be hard to say.
What needs to be done is for you two to have a calm conversation about the new dimension in your lives. If I'm correct this happens more during the week then on a Saturday try making him his favorite dinner. It is hard to fly into a rage when your stomach is full and your are feeling content.
Have your coffee in the living room with both of you on the couch and then try to have a conversation about his rages. You might start with asking him what has been bothering him as he has not been himself. You follow it up with you can deal with whatever it is that is bothering him but you cannot with his flying off the handle over little nothings. Its hurtful and it scares you.
One other thing you might do is schedule him for a complete physical with his doctor. When you make the appointment for him, tell the appointment nurse why you are doing so, his change in demeanor and ask that the doctor also screen him for depression.
Stress causes depression and while I am not a doctor some of what you write fits some of but not all of the symptoms of depression. The screening is painless and consist of questions the doctor will ask your husband. Unless you tell him he won't know he is being screened. The full physical is to rule out any organic cause for his change his demeanor,
Id he refuses to do either then yes next time this happens pack a bag and go to your mothers. Stay there until he either agrees to see a doctor or agrees to get some therapy with a psychologist both for anger management and whatever is bothering him.
Hi there me and my wife have been married for 15 years we have known each other for 18 years we where high school sweethearts but this past year she has been chatting with guys on a website ashley Madison and she just recently told she has had affairs with all kind of guys on that website not sure how to deal with it thinking about leaving need some feed back
I am somewhat confused as maybe you are as to how a woman goes from an 18 year monogamous relationship, to "she has had affairs with all kind of guys on that website." I question what she means by, "having affairs with all kind of guys."
Call me a chauvinist if you want but statistically it is easier and more possible for the male of our species to have multiple affairs than the female; especially given in a one year period. To have multiple sexual liaisons within a one year period is hard for either spouse not to notice something is not right. Unless of course business takes you out of town a great deal and she had the time to do so when you are not home. Then of course if there are young children even teenagers they are bound to say something to tip you off.
What I am getting at is that you need to have your wife give you her definition of an affair. Is it more of an intellectual one meaning strictly over the web or has she actually had sex with multiple partners. You don't say and it is important to actually have the word affair defined so you can decide how to proceed.
An affair of the mind is not as bad as an affair of the body. What an affair of the mind tells you something is wrong that there is still time to work out between you. Let’s call the affair of the mind Internet sex. Internet sex is not sexual intercourse. It can be titillating and in the right circumstances with masturbation it can be sexually rewarding. The one thing it is not is cheating as we define cheating today. I would put it in the same category as watching pornography and masturbating.
Now if your wife has met men for sexual affairs then yes she has cheated on you and you have a decision to make. Do you want to save your marriage or do you want to walk away. This is a decision only you can make.
I would suggest before you make the decision to walk away at the very least you are owed a reason why your wife decided to have these affairs. Now some would say there is no valid reason for either spouse to have an affair. I do not totally subscribe to that thought. There are times for all the wrong reasons a spouse might feel an affair is better than breaking up the marriage. Neglect is one of those reasons.
Find out her reason first. If there is some validity to her reasons then decide if you are both willing to fix the problem and move forward. This requires you to be forgiving and may also need the help of a Marriage Counselor. OF course at this point the operative thought is both of you must want to do this otherwise divorce is the answer.
Hi! So one of my friends is going out to dinner for a special occasion, and I heard her say (right in front of me) that if some guy couldn't go, I would be invited. I definitely want to say no if that happens. I think that that was so rude of her. Do you agree? Am I overreacting?
Yea it really sucks not being the first choice. It sucks worse not being asked at all if for some reason there is suddenly room to invite you. What really hurts was having to hear them talk about this event in front of you and to learn you were not among the first invitees.
Not knowing what this special occasion is I cannot say why you were not among the first invitees. An example of why might be to say that maybe it is Chuck's birthday and Chuck is good friends with several people. It may be that the restaurant can only easily accommodate a certain number of people. In this case you invite Chucks closest friends first. Is it possible that on this occasion you would not fall into the category of the closest of friends for the special occasion?
Yes it was rude to have this party talked about in front of you. It was even hurtful to find out you were not among the first invitees in the manner you did. Before you take offence at this stop and try to figure out why you were not among the first invitees. There may be a good reason.
If a party were being given for you I would think you would want your closest friends invited first, especially if space was a limiting factor. This is absolutely one of those occasions where you need to think before you decide if you have been insulted.
Well...i have two pairs of shoes i can only make three outfits with the cloth i have,i only have one hoodie that actually FITS!i ended up wearing it for a whole year.My teacher told the whole class to wear fresh and clean cloth i felt so embarrassed,everybody knew why she had said that my ex dad gives my mom 400$ every month he says he loves me but it sure doesn't seem like it..why?well he only bought me a pair of shoes 2 years ago and doesn't buy me cloth at all my mom mostly spends it on other shit...i end up asking her every week and the same excuse."We'll go shopping this month."it seems like she doesn't realize i need school supplies and clothes,its rare for her to me shopping,im 11 should i really deal with this shit?well anyways once we went shopping she always makes me shop at FUCKING P.S KIDS!even though she knows how much i hate it,but sometimes i actually find shit that's my style,she barely takes me to old navy it has shit that's my style,she always convinces me to buy cloth that i hate because shes like"Buy this one it matches these shorts." and shit,i once had to wear a hoodie that smelt bad and was dirty as faq to school just cause mom didn't want to spend a hour waiting it for it to wash,all the kids in my classroom could smell me,OH! and guess what my parents are to lazy to fix the boiler for hot water FUCKING FUCKTASTIC!right now i'm in my grandmas house :D BETTER THEN MY HELLHOLE I SO CALL HOME! ITS FREAKING BETTER HERE THERE'S A SHOWER THAT ACTUALLY WORKS AND THEY WASH MY CLOTH!OH WAIT!i have three jeans 2 shirts that fit one flannel shirt 2 tank tops 1 bra and the dirty HOODIE!I FEEL LIKE CRYING SO MUCH!THEY FREAKING FEED ME MORE THEN IN MY HOUSE!I SRSLY NEED HELP!WHAT DO I TELL MY PARENTS ABOUT THE SHIT IT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH!I REALLY WANT TO FUCKING MOVE OUT ALREADY!let's get back to topic now..So guys what do you think i should do? I REALLY NEED HELP!
I've been answering questions on this site for a long time. I have learned that for questions like yours there is more to the story than you are able to provide. An example would be the $400 you father gives your mother. This would be considered child support, do you know if this is court ordered or just an amount your father has chosen to give your mother.
IF the money your father gives your mother each month is court ordered, it means this is all your father can afford based on his income. If it is not court ordered then your father may be able to afford more and there is something you can do about this, the fact that the boiler isn't fixed and you do not have clean serviceable cloths to go to school with.
In fact to an extent it does not matter what is affordable but what buy law a parent must provide. Within the law clean serviceable clothes, not fashionable, are a must. A safe home with a functioning heating and hot water system and a well stocked kitchen. Also your medical needs must be met. Your parents are also responsible to see to it you are schooled. These are the primary needs a parent must meet for their children.
You need school supplies, I'm not convinced clean serviceable cloths are being provided, the boiler is not working and you haven't mentioned meals mom supplies. By law your parents are not meeting their obligation to you.
What can you do about it. There are three things you can do to get the help you need. The help comes from Child Protective Services (CPS). Your school principal is in the school year round and if your school is close enough to walk to then what I suggest is this. Go to the school and meet with your school principal. Tell him or her what your home life is like. Basically you tell him or her what you told us just leave out the cuss words. Once a student informs a teacher of principal of something like this they are obligated by law to contact CPS.
If you cannot get to school go to the nearest Police or fire station. These places are safe havens for children. Tell the officer or firefighter on duty what I told you to tell your principal. The police or firefighters will keep you safe while CPS is contacted.
As a last resort you can look up CPS on the web for your City, County or State and contact them yourself. I believe one of the first two are the best options for you.
Okay I know this is weird but every morning after I brush my teeth I have to use the bathroom to poop. And sometimes I don't have to/ time to use the bathroom, so my stomach starts to hurt really bad. And because of this I don't have the appetite to eat in the morning, which I want to start doing. So, what should I do?
P.S. Someone told me it could be the mint but I don't like the other fruity flavors.
I have to say this is a problem I have not dealt with in the past. One suggestion would be to get up a bit earlier in the morning which in order to get a full nights rest would mean going to bed an equal amount of time earlier in the evening.
I don't think it is the toothpaste that is causing you to have the need to use the bathroom. I believe it is more anxiety to rush through your morning routine so you can get out the door and get on with your day. I have the same problem when I'm in a rush to get out the door. If I don't use the bathroom then I get the worst stomach cramps and have to stop and use a bathroom.
Anxiety which is a type of stress does strange things to our body's. One of the areas most affected by this type of stress is the bowel. The only way I know of to relive or to prevent this type of stress is to make sure you have sufficient time to do all the things you need to do before leaving home in the morning including using the bathroom. This is why I suggested getting up 15 to 30 minutes earlier.
An example of this is my wife since I am now retired. Her office allows them to start their work day between 6 and 8 in the morning. She chooses to get up at 4:30 and leaves the house at 5:45 for the 2 mile drive to work. This gives her time to do what she needs to do and relax, have her coffee, read the paper all without any stress before leaving for work. On the rare occasion she over sleeps she suffers just as you write because she gets stressed that she will not get to work by 6 and will to work past 2 in the afternoon.
Hi. I am looking for advice on how to ask my mom if I can do gymnastics camp. I have reasons to go along with my argument, such as my sister gets to do soccer camp this summer. Although there are also negative factors to worry about. Example- yes, my sister does get to go to soccer camp, but for next to no money. Of course I could offer to pay for some of it, but I always get myself worked up about how to ask. I'm sure she'll say yes. She always does no matter what I'm asking (I don't do this often). I just want help on how to compose this conversation without making it sound like I've rehearsed it 1000 times. Thanks in advance.
It is funny but even as old as I am which is old enough to be your grandfather. When something is important to us we rehearse whatever it is until we are comfortable with it and know we will get it right. I do it all the time when I'm want something or doing something. I'm married and marriage is a 50/50 proposition so if I'm going to spend a large amount of money on something even if it benefits both of us I will always ask my wife first. When I do I rehearse to make sure I have what I want to tell her correct. Rehearsing is the best way to prepare yourself for whatever it is you are going to do.
As to how to ask mom to go to summer soccer camp; you know mom best. Is she someone that likes to be told straight out with just the facts or do you have to paint her a picture of what you’re asking for? IF she is the type of person who is busy with work and then home I believe she would prefer you just come out and ask for what you want. This would be, “Mom I would love or like to go to Soccer camp this summer, if you want I can chip in to pay for some of it."
If mom is the type where you have to paint her a picture and show her a benefit of going to soccer camp. Then do so and at the end you tell her which cam p you wish to go to and that can pay so much toward it.
This is the best advice I can offer not really knowing you or your mother.
To make this story short, ever since I got pregnant my best friend changed her attitude towards me. I felt abandoned, hurt and dissapointed when I most needed her. She started hanging out with a new friend who I happen to know and who has a lot of influence on her. She changed a lot ever since and everyone keeps asking me what is wrong with her. She thinks, talks and acts more and more like her new friend, who happens to have no friends left, because he always turns a conversation in an argument by attacking, humilliating or making fun of a certain person verbally. Everyone avoids them now and I feel so hurt because I still care about my best friend and I want our friendship back. We hardly see each other anymore and when we do he there is this t3nsion between us. I would like to talk to her, tell her how I feel about this whole situation and make her see that this new friendship is not a good thing for her and it is going to end bad one day. (The guy is married and the wife is spreading rumors that she is convinced my best friend is gay, which she is not). I am not sure how to approach her and what to tell her (should I mention the wife is spreading rumors about her) without making her think I am jealous or I want to ruin her new friendship with this individual. Please advise. Thank you!
Friendships can be fickle especially at this point in your life. I'm assuming you're married and now pregnant; she is single.
You being married does not change much for her relationship with you as far as hanging out with you are doing some of the things you did together when you were both single. Now that you are pregnant there is a new dimension she has to deal with. One that maybe she does not want to deal with. A baby coming into your life changes things for you. You will not and may not want to go out clubbing or whatever it is the two of you did together.
Spending the day together is also a new dimension as it means you will have the baby with you and the baby's needs come first, not hers. These are things she may not want to deal with and may not want to be second or third in your life. It may be that you have done nothing to give her this impression and just how she feels things will change once the baby arrives.
Do you tell her what this other person is saying about her? Doing so in the hope of rekindling your friendship would not be the way to do this though I do think it is something she should know.
If I were you I would send her an email that would go something like this.
"G, I know we haven't spoken or seen each other in awhile and I do miss our friendship though this is not why I am emailing. I have heard that so and so is convinced and telling others you are gay because of your relationship with so and so. Because of our friendship this hurts me to hear and I have fought with myself as to whether or not to tell you and further distance us. In the end I fear the rumors are more harmful to you then further distancing ourselves from each other. I do value our relationship and hope you will visit once the baby arrives."
Of course put what I have just said into your own words but that is the jist of what you could say to her.
If a girl has oral sex in her ass hole then go in to the pussy at the same time what std can she get
IF you are going to do any type of anal sex it is wrong to go directly from the anus to the vagina without first thoroughly cleaning whatever has been in the anal canal with hot soapy water. In the case of oral sex thoroughly wash your face and use a strong mouth wash.
If having any intercourse it is highly recommended that a condom be used. A condom is recommended not for pregnancy protection as a woman cannot get pregnant for anal sex. The condom protects the male for infects caused by having unprotected anal intercourse. The anal cavity is loaded with bacteria. IF any of these germs were to get into his urinary tract he would suffer a very painful infection. Even with using a condom the entire genital area and the penis should be washed before having any other type of sex or sex play.
Basics- 20, live alone. Always been a rocky relationship. We were on good terms untill...
So, at the beginning of the month me and my mother had a argument. It started of the fact that I need her birth certificate for a passport.stupid, I know.
The argument of course escalated, as they do, she said I was selfish, and never spoke to them or see them unless I wanted something.
Then I went on to say, I know I'm selfish, but least I know where I stand, you never make effort to see me first, its always me to.
Then I said it.. What shouldn't have.. 'who organized my brothers birthday, me! When was the last time you went out with any of your children?'
Now she wont speak to me! Its been a month!
Now this sito may seem abit silly to some of you out there, but our relationship has always be on the rocks. I just want to solve it, but we are both far to stubborn, I should step up and apologise, I really know I should, I love her after all, but I'm fed up with her bullying. I understand that's she's just a mother, who is hurt that her children have grown up. But why cant she just enjoy it with us. We was like best friends at one point... So maybe some advice on a subtle way of apologising, or a way just to get us speaking again?
I miss her, but I just cant say sorry. Its terrible, dreadful, but I stupidly cant bring myself to it. And besides I've finally stood up for myself urghh, shut up....!!!!!!
Having an adult relationship with some parents can be troublesome as some parents never see there children as adults.
Then there are some parents like my own father who would never apologize for being wrong. My mother was always the peace maker getting me to apologize, then she passed away. When my father said something very hurtful to my wife I demanded an apology he would give one. For the next ten years to the day he died we never spoke or saw each other again.
I fine with this for in my mind it made up for all those years of the silent treatment he gave me until my mother convinced me to apologize even when I was right. It was he who missed out on many things. His grandson being the honor graduate from College. His grandson being honored for saving the life of an infant who was in full arrest when he arrived on the scene of a 911 call. He missed his grandsons graduation from the Fire Academy as well. He failed to acknowledge in any way when I was nearly killed in an auto accident.
As I said I am fine with all of this. I was 52 and he was 77when we stopped talking. He lived another 14 years. Your 20 years old and you mother is what in her late 40's early 50's.
While I understand you not wanting to be the one to apologize and I'm the last one who would be suggesting that you should. In this situation I am going to suggest that you be the bigger person and approach her first.
There are many ways to apologize. You could say; "Mom in the heat of anger I may have said something to upset you." "If I did I apologize for that." You are apologizing for the words you used not necessarily what you said.
Then you say, "Mom we have to talk." This is where you tell her you love her and want her in your live. This is also where you get to in a delicate manner try to set some ground rules for how you want her in your life. You don't use the word bullying. What you do is explain you are an adult know with adult responsibilities whatever they may be for you; work or school or both.
While you value her advice it is hurtful if it is thrust upon you with out your asking for it makes you feel somewhat of a child when you are trying o be a grown up. Yes you will make mistakes but hopefully you will learn form them. It would also be nice if once in awhile she and dad come visit you in your home so you can entertain them.
I think you get the idea. You may feel that I'm asking you to talk to deaf ears. You are not believe me. Stand your ground and continue to put your rules in place. Also remember that roads go both ways and it would be nice for you to make time to visit them.
To me realisation is key, for instance once you realise if something is good or bad for you, you can make the decision on how to change it. Never take your self to seriously and my person big one - dont live in the past - the mind is a powerful thing, I believe, if you have the mindset, be positive you can do, achieve anything.
So they are a few that I've learnt while growing up, however, I want to know more, I don't quite no what to call them, but what things have got you through your life?
What do you tell your self when your at your lowest? Or just need that little push?
I have had a motto that has stood the test of time and made me one of the top sales man in my company just about every year until I had to retire due to an auto accident I was in. Even then this motto still motivates me daily.
The motto; "The only person I have to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today."
What does this mean? To me it meant I didn't have to buy into all the motivational gobbly gook management spews out to get us to promote more orders. I knew I was a good salesman. What I need to do to both motivate myself and to help me grow my business was to learn something new each day. I felt if I learned something new each day either about my business my customers business or myself than I was a better person today then I was yesterday.
As a result of adopting this motto I never worried about how may orders I wrote. I knew if I didn't write one today I would write two or three tomorrow. What really caught my sales managers attention was after I was injured my sales for the following four months did not decline as by living my motto I had learned how and taught my customers how to program their needs and order placements along with procuring future orders from their customers for them and with them.
I don't know exactly what it is you are trying to achieve. What I do know is if you set a goal to learn something new each day that will propel you towards that goal. You will grow as a person, you will be a better person each day then you were the day before and you will obtain your goal.
So ok I'm a15 year old girl who is willing to do anything to lose weight and I'm just like 5 pounds over weight but I'm tall 5'6 1/2 so anyways my question is does throwing up like pukeing helps you lose weight because i know how to puke you know you put ur finger in your moth and yea so does it?!? And another question is my mom says that running is bad and it does not help you lose weight so I just want to know does it or no??!? Thanks btw Xo.
Vomiting to lose weight is extremely bad for you as it can injure your esophagus (throat) from the acids in your stomach. People who vomit to control there weight are considered to have an eating disorder called Bulimia. This is a serious eating disorder as a person will start to binge and purge. Not only will it harm your throat but the constant purging will upset the electrolyte balance in your body. One of the worst things that could happen by upsetting this balance is a heart attack. If it is bad enough you can die. If you have not started to purge don't start.
Exercise will help you lose weight but it must be proper exercise. When you exercise you can easily trade fat for muscle. Muscle weighs more that fat so while you may look slimmer in some parts of you're body you will actually gain weight in others where you traded fat for muscle.
Running will tone up your Calf's and Thighs possibly making them a bit heavier as they get toned from the running. You may even tone up your waste and tummy. While you may look slimmer you may actually weigh more.
Below is a chart for ho much you should weight based on your frame size. As you can see there is between a 1q2 and 15 pound variable with in each of the weight frame categories. If you present weight for your frame size falls with in one of these categories you have no reason to diet.
Small Medium Large
120-133 130-144 140-159
Because of what dieting and being underweight robs you of what you need to sustain your body it is far better to be 10 pounds over weight then 10 pounds underweight.
If you still feel you need to lose weight the proper way to do so starts with a visit to your doctor and find out for certain if you are over weight for your frame size. Have a complete physical then have the doctor give you a diet to follow. While dieting your doctor will want to monitor your health with follow up visits. This is how you diet properly without endangering your heath.
I'm 20, female, straight. i cant connect with the opposite sex! I'm at that age where i want to find my life long partner, settle down and have kids with in the future, however, i just don't connect with any male in that way, i just don't find any sexual attraction, even if i really want there to be. Is there something wrong with me? As a child i always had low self esteem, plus I'm not exactly the prettiest girl,any male i have like would always be after my best friend of the time.. I've grown sort of use to this now, as its a joke how many times it has happened. I also had undiagnosed ptsd, i don't know, but could it be anxiety? Or maybe I'm just not meant to find someone. I just need advice, or if anyone could just help me see from a different angle that would be great!
The problem with our species is we are prone to physical attraction before we get to know someone's inner beauty and inner qualities. The problem with this is you wake up one day and find out there is more to life than just sex that you actually need to talk. That is when you find out you have nothing in common.
The best way to have a serious relationship with someone is to become friends with them first and lovers second. Most of us do it backwards and become lovers first and then try to become friends second. My wife and I became friends long before we ever met. We worked for the same airline. I worked at the airport and she worked at departure control in the city reservation office. I had to speak with her every day.
Then I had to go the city for training and we met. I won't deny there was a physical attraction as I saw her before we were introduced. My wife was one of the prettier girls there. Then she was introduced and I saw her in an entire different light not just as a sex object. That was 45 years ago and we will be married 44 years come next month.
Our jobs brought us together. There are ways outside of work to meet people and become friends first. What I'm about to tell you works if you're just looking to make friends in a new city or if you need a way to overcome shyness to meet people.
Sit down with pencil and paper and make a list of all the things you like to do. Cooking, baking, hiking, bowling camping, Art, nature walks, bird watching. What ever it is you like to do maybe it is debating, photography or scrapbooking. Make a list of what it is you like to do outside of work.
Once you have your list number them in order of importance to you. Then take the top 5 and look to see what clubs or activities there are in your area for these things. Go to the club meeting, if affordable attend the activities. Listen to the conversation and add relevant things you may have knowledge of when you can.
Before you know it you're included in the conversation. This will lead to someone asking you to coffee to continue the conversation. Coffee leads to a date as the inner beauty come out as you get to know one another. Like anything else dating is work. You get out what you put into it.