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Best friend issue
To make this story short, ever since I got pregnant my best friend changed her attitude towards me. I felt abandoned, hurt and dissapointed when I most needed her. She started hanging out with a new friend who I happen to know and who has a lot of influence on her. She changed a lot ever since and everyone keeps asking me what is wrong with her. She thinks, talks and acts more and more like her new friend, who happens to have no friends left, because he always turns a conversation in an argument by attacking, humilliating or making fun of a certain person verbally. Everyone avoids them now and I feel so hurt because I still care about my best friend and I want our friendship back. We hardly see each other anymore and when we do he there is this t3nsion between us. I would like to talk to her, tell her how I feel about this whole situation and make her see that this new friendship is not a good thing for her and it is going to end bad one day. (The guy is married and the wife is spreading rumors that she is convinced my best friend is gay, which she is not). I am not sure how to approach her and what to tell her (should I mention the wife is spreading rumors about her) without making her think I am jealous or I want to ruin her new friendship with this individual. Please advise. Thank you!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Friendships can be fickle especially at this point in your life. I'm assuming you're married and now pregnant; she is single.
You being married does not change much for her relationship with you as far as hanging out with you are doing some of the things you did together when you were both single. Now that you are pregnant there is a new dimension she has to deal with. One that maybe she does not want to deal with. A baby coming into your life changes things for you. You will not and may not want to go out clubbing or whatever it is the two of you did together.
Spending the day together is also a new dimension as it means you will have the baby with you and the baby's needs come first, not hers. These are things she may not want to deal with and may not want to be second or third in your life. It may be that you have done nothing to give her this impression and just how she feels things will change once the baby arrives.
Do you tell her what this other person is saying about her? Doing so in the hope of rekindling your friendship would not be the way to do this though I do think it is something she should know.
If I were you I would send her an email that would go something like this.
"G, I know we haven't spoken or seen each other in awhile and I do miss our friendship though this is not why I am emailing. I have heard that so and so is convinced and telling others you are gay because of your relationship with so and so. Because of our friendship this hurts me to hear and I have fought with myself as to whether or not to tell you and further distance us. In the end I fear the rumors are more harmful to you then further distancing ourselves from each other. I do value our relationship and hope you will visit once the baby arrives."
Of course put what I have just said into your own words but that is the jist of what you could say to her.
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