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"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.

I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde

So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.

I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.

I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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16/female..but will turn 17 in july...okay so i met this guy on the bus who asked for my # i was ignoring his calls and then eventually started conversating with him. we've know each other for about 2 months now almost three and i really like him..his 19 an says that hes not like other guys..but yea i noe that's what they all say..he gets mad over little things but i can handle that. He has been pressuring me to give IT up to him but im not ready..i given him a hand job and hes fingered me..it was GREAT.. but i dont want it to go any further. last night he stuck his thing in me n tried to break my hymn but i told him to get off cuz it hurted..sooo am i still a virgin????

_(link)

To quickly answer your question: You are not a virgin because there was penetration; though, you weren't much of a virgin when you were giving and receiving other sexual favors.

Even though you're no longer a virgin, you can still hold out on having sex in the future. You cannot get your virginity back and maybe you want to think about why you put yourself in such a situation as to lose it so easily.

If you have been fingered multiple times (by yourself or others) your hymen is, most likely, not intact anyway.

If a boy is pressuring you to go past what you are comfortable with then he isn't worth your time. Any GOOD guy wouldn't pressure you at all but would assume that he needed to wait until wedding night anyway. There ARE guys out there that are more than willing to wait until it's the right time (wedding night) so please be careful on who you engage in sexual activity with.

I know the media is feeding teens and young adults such crap now but please do not buy into it. Sex does not make you attractive, popular, smart, wealthy, or even liked. You should have more respect for yourself than to give into sexual urges so easily but I know that the media is brainwashing you. Having sex does not prove you love anyone at all either(hey, prostitutes have sex every day), and we should be going out of our ways to figure out how to show we care in other ways to people.

Virginity is special and people should not be devaluing it like they are. Giving your virginity away to your husband on wedding night is an awesome gift that would be cherished and well-received. I know that many teenagers feel that sex is not a big deal. It IS a big deal and if they had been emotionally, physically, and mentally ready for it they would know how wonderful it can be to share such things with your husband/wife.

Sex puts us in a very vulnerable state. We can be really hurt physically and emotionally in many ways. Some people cannot ever get over some of their sexual encounters because of how emotionally hurt, degraded, or neglected they felt. We risk our bodies of catching STDs or STIs that we may have to deal with until we die. Women risk becoming pregnant--which can really cause some physical problems if the woman is not ready to have them.

There is such an emotional connection when you have no fears of future issues resulting from sex when you are married. You no longer fear they will ever leave you or are using you, you know you will get through it if a baby results, and you can depend on them to listen to your needs and desires. You no longer have to worry if they've picked up an STD since your last encounter since you can be sure you're their only sexual partner.

There are many other reasons why you should not engage in sexual relations until you are married. Here is a good link to 25 reasons to wait until that special night with that special man (even if you do have sex it's still very interesting to read and just something to think about):

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

..just because you're not a virgin any more doesn't mean you don't need to hold onto what you have left. You can stop sexual activity right now if you want to. You can't get your virginity back but you can increase your self-respect.

It's important to know the consequences of sex and one of them is pregnancy. A baby is very costly emotionally, physically, and financially. All of your time, emotions, and money goes toward a baby until they are grown--and even then they will come to you with problems for your advice. Here is a link to costs of a baby in the first year alone:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

It's doubtful that our teens today are able to raise a baby successfully even in the first year. Like I said, a baby needs 100% of your time always, all of your attention, all of your money, and all of your emotional and intellectual parts. Teenagers are not ready to handle this and they don't realize that with each and every sexual act they are risking putting themselves in a hard situation. Remember, no protection is 100% effective, and even when you use two methods there is STILL a chance.

Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, consider the consequences of that action too. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.

You can catch STDs from other sexual contact apart from intercourse. Here is a link to some super scary facts about STDs that everyone should know about before engaging in sexual activity:

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

STDs and STIs can really mess a person up. They can cause you to look deformed, a person to become infertile, and even major brain deterioration. They're easily caught and spread and many people never show symptoms of them until it's in late stages.

Here is a link of photos of what STDs look like. The photos are graphic and of mainly males. You have to choose which one you want to see first so they won't pop up on you. I am sharing this with you to show how serious STDs are and that people aren't kidding when they say this:

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

It's always important to become informed before engaging in ANY sexual activity. Even if you only plan to give a man a handjob you still need to know all of the facts about other sexual activities too in case things get carried away and go further. Condoms and the pill are not the only "protection" you need--you need the protection of good knowledge. Also, your partner should be just as informed as you are about sexual relations.

I hope that you can put these experiences in the past and become more knowledgeable of what you're doing with yourself.

ok. i'm young. 14. and i have considered having sex with a boy that is a year older than me. he refuses to have sex without a condom. but i know even with it, it could break or whatever. i want to have sex with him. i feel ready. the only thing is i want to go on birth control, but my parent can't find out. 1-i live in a rndom place, the closest planned parenthood is pretty far. so where can i buy it. like wal-mart, walgreens ? what is a good kind that isn't that much. like i can pay like up to $40, maybe $50 a month for it. and do you need to have a doctor's ezam or whatever first ?
thank you so much for anyone that helps. :] _(link)

To answer your question:

To purchase birth control pills one needs to see a doctor first and usually have a pap smear done. A pap smear is a routine doctor's visit a woman goes to once a year usually to make sure everything is healthy. Before engaging in sex it's very important you have one done any way just to make sure there isn't anything abnormal. They usually check for cancer, abnormal cells caused by HPV, and even cysts.

So, pick up the phone and make an appointment with your local gynecologist to have an exam (or see your regular doctor for a referral). You should be truthful and let them know if you have been sexually active before or if you are planning to become sexually active. They will write you a prescription (that probably will last for 6 months or more) for a birth control pill after the exam. You then take the prescription to your local pharmacy and they will fill it for you. Please follow the directions your doctor instructs exactly.

I understand it's your body, your choice, your life, and possibly even your mistake but I felt I should point a few things out to you after answering your question.

I am simply concerned for your well-being and I don't want to see you back here in a few months, pregnant and miserable. It's best to keep your self informed of what I'm about to say so that you can avoid major tragedies in your life.

I feel like I should bring some things to your attention that you may have overlooked or that you simply were not aware of before. I want you to be in the best situation possible, you see. I noticed that you're not aware of something you should be fully knowledgeable before engaging in sexual activity and I am concerned.

If you've read what I said above on how to purchase a birth control pill and you think you're not able to see a doctor in fear of parents finding out then you should really reevaulate what you're doing. You will be breaking a bond between your parents, risking your body of catching STDs or getting pregnant (who would you tell then?), and lying. Sex is an adult activity and if you can't be adult enough to tell your family that you are engaging in sex then maybe--just MAYBE--you're not ready to put yourself in that situation.

Before starting sexual activity you and your partner should both be very aware of all possible consequences. It is important to be informed so that nobody is hurt in any way at any time. You should really check out some photos of STDs/STIs and what pregnancy at such a young age does to a woman's body before rushing into things. Like I said, it's better to be informed than to trip into something you're absolutely clueless about.

STDs:
Many people now have STDs or STIs and don't even know it. Mothers can also pass their STDs onto their babies so everyone is pretty much at risk of having something they can pass along to others. It's important to be picky on who you have sexual relations with because if you contract an STD/STI from them then some really bad things can happen--including life-long illness, infertility, and brain deterioration.

No method of birth control is 100% effective. Even if you use two methods of birth control there is still a pregnancy risk. No matter what birth control you use, you also risk contracting an STD or STI.

Here is a list of some super scary facts about STDs. You'd be surprised at how many people now have some sort of STD and how much money we put toward trying to cure them. This is a really interesting link and it gives you a lot of think about and discuss with your partner:

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is also a link of photos of various STDs. Most of the photos are of males but there are a few female photos in there. Some are very scary. Don't worry about many photos popping up when you click the link, they're behind other links so you can choose which ones you might want to check out:

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

Pregnancy:
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child. Having a child means being completely selfless because they need 100% of your attention 100% of the time. Having children means major sacrifices, especially in the emotional department.

Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, consider the consequences of that action too. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.

You're aware you're not financially and emotionally ready to be a parent or you wouldn't worry about pregnancy. I'm sure you want to give your future children the best possibly life and if you contract an STD you may not be able to have children, may be too sick to raise them completely, or may pass something along to them.

It would be especially scary if your partner impregnated you and then left the relationship for you to handle all of the childcare. Being left with not enough income, time, or emotional support to offer a child is frightening. This scenario is happening like crazy all of the world now. People should try to be more pickier on who they reproduce with so they avoid such horrible situations.

Here are some facts about how much a baby costs within the first year of life; you should really check it out just for future issues as the knowledge could come in very handy:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Virginity:
Virginity should be more valuable than we make it. It's a special thing that we only get one of no matter what we do. The media feeds us a bunch of crap telling us that if we love someone we should give them our bodies. Instead we should be showing our love in other ways and making wedding night extra special for that person. Contrary to popular belief, sex does not make us attractive, rich, famous, liked, or popular.

Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you've already lost your virginity or are definite on losing it, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Communication and Knowledge:
Before engaging in any sexual activity you need to sit down and discuss everything with your partners. He needs to be just as informed as you are. He needs to know all of the little details--the good and the bad. Have him check out the links with you if possible so he knows the facts too.

So, sit down with your partner and discuss STDs/STIs (look at some photos), pregnancy expenses (just in case), and having a new sexual encounter (possible loss of virginity).

I wish you luck on becoming more knowledgeable about sexual activity so that we don't see you again here in fear of a pregnancy.

okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for awhile, but i saw in his phone, how some guy was texting him. he was questioning something about my boyfriends myspace. he said something about his "baby" on his myspace. so the guy asked him if this so called "baby" was his little sister {ashanti.} and my boyfriend replied yes, and how he has been wanting to get with her, and he want to wife her up, and all this crap. so we broke up, for good. Was that at all the right thing to do? _(link)

Well, it's really up to you to decide if you made the right move by dumping him but there are a couple of things to think about.

Did the "conversation" honestly seem serious?
Maybe they were having a laugh at what was being said back or forth. If the conversation seemed detailed then maybe it was truthful. If there were lots of things like lol, jk, or lmao then maybe they were just having a little laugh. Usually if the person isn't serious they'll follow their comments with such things. People joke about weird things all of the time and sometimes they simply don't seem so serious to them

What if he was only kidding around?
He may have some sort of inside joke with the guy and they go back and forth about it. Maybe the guy pretends to hit on his sister just to annoy him a little. I've heard plenty of guys say things like, "Your sister is hot!" to each other trying to annoy the other guy. If the sister is quite older, much younger, or even very unattractive he may simply be kidding.

If he was just kidding around, do you really want to be with someone who jokes like that?
If he wasn't serious then you still have the feeling that he may want to be with another woman. I suspect you have reason to disbelieve it was a joke but, if it was, he wasn't very thoughtful of you when saying those things. If he was just kidding then it could also be considered very disrespectful to the little sister.

Any way it is, I hope you communicated to the guy why you dumped him so that he was aware of the situation and had a chance to comment on it. If he was kidding it would bring it to his attention how un-funny it really is. If he was serious then maybe it would help him to realize that he shouldn't be desiring such things (cheating on women). So, you may want to explain why you two broke up if there is any room for it now--though, it's understandable if you choose not to communicate with the guy any longer.

how do i get rid of a yeat infection as fast as possible with out putting a tampone type thing up my vagina that is full of lotion.???? _(link)

First off, NEVER put lotion into your vagina! Lotion can cause the yeast infection to get worse if not give you a bacterial infection that can lead to major complications. Whatever you saw was most likely plain, unsweetened yogurt--NOT LOTION.

Vaginal yeast infections can cause itching and burning, the white discharge may look similar to cottage cheese, there could be pain during sexual intercourse, and some swelling of the vulva. The discharge smells somewhat yeasty from what I've read but not always.

Yeast infections are caused by a disruption in the balance of good bacteria in the vagina. Sexual intercourse, antibiotics, using too much soap, tampon usage, and even wearing tight clothing can all cause a yeast infection to occur.

If you have never had one before and you suspect you do now, then you NEED to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. From there, you can purchase over-the-counter medication such as Monistat from your local store. The 7-day treatment seems to be the best of the bunch. It comes with the medication, applicator, and instructions so you can do it yourself in privacy.

Anyway, once the doctor has diagnosed you PROPERLY with this then you'll know in the future what one is like and will be able to treat yourself without needing to see your doctor (though you may want to continue seeing the doctor just to make sure). It is VERY important you see the doctor the first time things are odd though so you get acquainted with your body and can remain healthy.

Sometimes women mis-diagnose themselves with a yeast infection when they really have something else wrong (such as a bacterial infection that can render the woman infertile and cause a lot of pain for the rest of their lives).

Until you're able see a doctor, you may want to wear a panty-liner so you don't have wet underclothing/pants. Do NOT wear a tampon as it will further disrupt the balance in your vagina, and if you don't have an infection, you can get one then. You may also want to wear some looser clothing.

Consuming yogurt may help while you're doing the Monistat treatment and in the prevention of another yeast infection. Even better, you could look into purchasing some Lactobacillus acidophilus pills from your local store (Wal-mart, various pharmacy, GNC) to take each day for prevention. L. acidophilus is what is in the yogurt that helps, but yogurt only has a small amount of it so it would be more helpful to purchase some of the pills.

I hope you get yourself to the doctor to confirm your issue to be a yeast infection and all goes well with current treatment and preventative measures.

I hate asking for advice but I feel I need to, Ok so I started daiting this year and I have had my fare share of b/f's. All of my b/f's want me to have sex and im not ready I had things happen to me when I as little and its just well I still havent gotton over it. I keep getting dumped because I wont go passed making out.
What should I do? _(link)

I know you're being pressured to have sex but I want you to know that I'm so proud of you for not giving in to the peer pressure.

If a boy is pressuring you to go past making out then he isn't worth your time. Any GOOD guy wouldn't pressure you at all but would assume that he needed to wait until wedding night anyway. There ARE guys out there that are more than willing to wait until it's the right time (wedding night) so please hold out for that special guy for you.

The thing to do is make it very clear in the beginning of the relationship that you are not willing to go past making-out. It is perfectly acceptable to talk to the boy about this and it really shows how respectful you are of yourself. It is then up to the boy to decide if he can wait for sex. Make it clear that you will not give in no matter what and you're not afraid to dump him if he pressures you.

If the guy leaves and says bad things about you then know that you can hold your head up high for passing another hurdle in life. There is no reason why you should be having sex. It is doubtful that any 13 year old is ready to deal with the consequences of having children and that is what sex was intended for.

I know the media is feeding teens and young adults such crap now but please do not buy into it. Sex does not make you attractive, popular, smart, wealthy, or even liked. Having sex does not prove you love anyone at all (hey, prostitutes have sex every day) and we should be going out of our ways to figure out how to show we care in other ways to people.

It sounds as if you know this already, but sex puts people in a vulnerable state in many way. You have to be emotionally ready with yourself and with your partner to have sex. A person really needs to be married when they have sex with their partner because a lot of the emotional needs will be fulfilled and it will be a lot better. There aren't hang-ups like they are with sex outside marriage really. You don't worry if the person is using you, going to leave you, REALLY cares about you, and you can communicate better about what you like/dislike so that things are more comfortable.

Your virginity is special and people should not be devaluing it like they are. Giving your virginity away to your husband on wedding night is an awesome gift that would be cherished and well-received. Be proud that you aren't having sex. Hold your head up high when people talk about you because secretly they are wishing they had waited because you're not missing anything. They have such bad sex lives they degrade the value of it and say it isn't a big deal. It IS a big deal and if they had been emotionally, physically, and mentally ready for it they would know how wonderful it can be to share such things with your husband/wife.

You may be choosing to not have sex because of something that happened to you in the past but there are many other reasons why you should not engage in it until you are married. Here is a good link to 25 reasons to wait until that special night with that special man (even if you do have sex later on it's still very interesting to read and just something to think about):

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

The next time you decide to be boyfriend/girlfriend with a boy have the talk with him. You may want to share the link above with him so that he knows how special virginity is. You may also want to share some of the following links with him because if he does choose to engage in sex he needs to know all of the facts about it.

Here is a link to costs of a baby in the first year alone:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Like I said, it's doubtful that our teens are able to raise a baby successfully even in the first year. A baby needs 100% of your time always, all of your attention, all of your money, and all of your emotional and intellectual parts. Teenagers are not ready to handle this and they don't realize that with each and every sexual act they are risking putting themselves in a hard situation. Remember, no protection is 100% effective, and even when you use two methods there is STILL a chance.

Here is a link to some super scary facts about STDs that everyone should know about before engaging in sexual activity:

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

STDs and STIs can really mess a person up. They can cause you to look deformed, a person to become infertile, and even major brain deterioration. They're easily caught and spread and many people never show symptoms of them until it's in late stages.

Here is a link of photos of what STDs look like. The photos are graphic and of mainly males. It's okay to click the link because it isn't going to pop any photos up right away--you have to choose which one you want to see first. I am sharing this with you to show how serious STDs are and that people aren't kidding when they say this:

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

I wish you luck on getting over what happened when you were younger as well. There are support groups you can join and people you can talk to. You may want to suggest to your guardian about you seeing a therapist if you're ready to talk.

Please make sex special and don't give into your peer pressure. You're a wonderful person and you deserve wonderful things. Share the knowledge I've given you with your peers.

Why is it that some fellow advicenators tell young girls and boys it is okay to have sex or do other sexual acts "if they feel that they are ready" when they know that it is wrong. I believe they are just looking to get good ratings, do you agree? I'd much rather tell them the truth, that they are TOO YOUNG and have NO IDEA of potential consequences BESIDES pregnancy and get a lower rating than tell them it's okay. Am I the only one?

I suppose this can be seen as purely subjective, but is there anyone out there at or about my age (20) who thinks it's ok for 12 year olds to go around having oral sex and/or intercourse?

_(link)

I just spotted this question as I was searching back through the questions and felt I should reply.

Of course it isn't alright for the youngsters to be out and about having sex. Everyone knows this deep down inside. The real problem is not feedback on Advicenators but it's what the media is feeding us now.

The media is telling the younger generations that sex makes them attractive, popular, famous, and feel-good. The media tells us that if we love someone that sex is required. We're being fed so much crap and the younger ones buy into it. The teenagers here are only repeating what the media has told them over and over again. Seeing that another teen is experiencing what they have gone through, they feel it must now be perfectly acceptable. The ones that know better should be trying to educate the minds of the ones that have been brainwashed.

We don't even realize it, but we're being pushed hard to buy into the media telling us to accept all of this stuff. We're being told that we don't have say in other's lives and should keep out nose out of it--these people may end up with us, our children, our grandchildren, as our neighbors, etc. so we SHOULD care! We SHOULD inform them and educate them so that WE can have good, healthy, happy lives too. We're being brainwashed that teenagers will do what they want and it's "their lives" when we should not put up with the crap.

It can be really frustrating but you have to realize that these people don't know any better. They've been fed this thing for years. They don't know WHY they even want to have sex but they know the media tells them they need to. They don't realize how wrong it is to ask other teens to approve of what they are doing. It's the few of us that point out how wrong it is that really count.

Instead of getting upset over the situation, inform the questioner about sex. If you read through my column you will understand what I mean. I have some really great links to sites that the teens now need to see (STD facts, photos of STDs, pregnancy costs, and even a good link to why a person should keep his/her virginity). I make sure to briefly point out some simple things that the question may not have realized and try to link them to a more complexed explanation.

Even if the questioner says, "Don't lecture me, I'm going to have sex anyway!" you can still add in more detail and hope they spend the time reading it. It's no big deal if you get a bad feedback number and you're well aware of this. Even if THEY don't read it, another young person may and they might just understand what they've been missing.

I hope you stay on Advicenators and help educate the younger people about consequences of actions so we can help these coming generations.

ok so first off i'm an 18 year old guy. i've been in a relationship with my dream girl for now 7 1/2 months. she's 17. she's the first girlfriend that i've ever had. before me she dated a guy for 7 months, they broke up about a year and a 1/2 ago, but that was pretty much it for her. we're both deeply in love with each other. before her i was depressed and miserable but she changed all that and since we've been together i'm happier than i ever could've imagined. i know that she's really happy with me too. so basically we can't get enough of each other. something that has really been getting to me lately is the issue of sex. in 7 1/2 months we haven't done anything sexual at all, no blowjobs, no handjobs or anything like that. i kind of thought that was a good thing for the first couple months because we were able to make something great together without sex or anything but lately it's been getting to me. i'm really sexually attracted to her and it's just driving me crazy. i know that she's strongly attracted to me too, she's said so and i'm exactly her type. we've both sent each other alot of nude pictures and there was no big deal about it. i feel completely comfortable sending them to her and she feels the same. we do touch each other alot, not sexually however. for example, sometimes we'll just lay on her bed for 4 hours snuggling up with each other really tight just talking about how much we love each other and stuff. we have this thing where we tickle each other alot. we tickle bare skin like the stomach, back, and she likes tickling my "man boobs". she also likes giving me wedgies. she's jokingly admitted that the whole wedgy thing is just an excuse to touch my ass. lately all that touching stuff has intensified. i get the feeling that i really need to do something. i know that alot of the time sex is bad for young couples but its been 7 1/2 months and we've made such a solid foundation already without it. i don't really want to go into like real sex until maybe prom night, which is in 2 months. i want our first time to be special and romantic. i do want to do some of the other stuff though. i want to go down on her so badly because i feel like she deserves it and i want to make her feel good. i don't even want a blowjob or anything else all that badly because i just want to make her feel good. she has told me that her ex went down on her while they were dating but she never had sex with him, she's still a virgin like me. it's embarassing to say but i know how to do all of the stuff because i looked it up online. there are alot of times when we have the opportunity to do stuff, both our parents work alot. i really don't know how to even get into that situation. people have said to just kind of "explore" while we're making out and go from there. i'm kind of an awkward kid and i'm somewhat unconfident and very scared of failure even though i've gotten all the info i need from websites and friends, both male and female. so if anyone could help me out i would much appreciate it. i know i probably sound weird but i'm just really confused about the whole thing. _(link)

I completely understand what you're saying but I think you're not thinking this through. Hormones tend to get to us while we are maturing and really it sounds that way in this case.

Virginity should be a very, very special thing and I'm sure you're fully aware of this. The thing is, you love the girl and I'm sure respect her. If you love the girl, why not wait until you're married? It would make things a lot easier in the sex department and proves your love more than having sex on prom night. I promise you it would be a lot more romantic too.

If you're not ready to marry her, maybe you're not ready to have sex. It's really something to think about. Marriage means a lot of sacrifice for the other person and so does having children. Having sexual relations means you risk making a child every single time.

If you claim that you're too young to get married then you need to realize you're too young to be having children. If you do want to marry her now then surely you can wait until she turns 18. Sex does not need to come NOW and the longer you wait, the more special it will be.

I think if you've made it this long without sexual contact then you should wait it out. Make wedding night super extra special for you both. It would show her how much you love her by waiting all of that time, showing her that sex has not been what you were after this whole time. It really is one of those ultimate forms of love. To look back and to realize how much each of you cared about one another is something you can proudly tell your children when they are older and have girlfriends/boyfriends.

Don't pressure her for sex; you're making decisions based on what YOU want and not what she is desiring. You have decided that prom night is special, you have decided that you two area ready to have some form of sex, and you have decided what is special and what isn't. This isn't at all what love should be. You should have expected to wait until wedding night any way out of respect for her.

Prom night is not really as special as you may think. I know a few girls that have gotten pregnant on prom night and were later dumped. Prom may sound special at first but wedding night is the real winner.

Think about what would happen if there was a child conceived from an encounter. Your girlfriend may think that if you married her after that it would only be because you had gotten her pregnant. To point out again, no protection is 100% effective--even when you use two methods you're still at risk.

Here is a list of just financial facts (not emotional needs that we should think about when reproducing) about a baby's first year of life:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Sex can break a couple sometimes and I'm sure you don't want that. I've seen couples break up because the sex wasn't good or they just weren't compatible in the bed (someone was too shy, someone had a kink, someone didn't like something the other loved, etc). Those couples made too big of a deal out of it. They wanted sparks to fly and for it to be special and perfect and when it wasn't what they expected they were highly disappointed.

Here is a good list of 25 reasons why you should keep your virginity until you're wed (even if you do have sex it's very interesting to read and think about):

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Please consider what I've said before leaping into anything with your girlfriend. I really hope your relationship makes it through all of the hurdles life can throw at us.

okay im 14/f and my bf spent the night at my house, we made out big time. i sat on his lap facing him, and he went hard, i think he might have spermed but he doesn't know, i was wearing sweat pants and so was he so is their a posibility that im pregnat? _(link)

The only way you could possibly get pregnant from that would have to be if he soaked your pants with himself at your vagina.

Sperm need a moist environment to move in. They are little bitty creatures with tails--the tail flutters and propels them throughout the moist area. They are very small so there IS a chance they can swim through fabric as long as it was throughly moistened. These little guys were designed to ensure reproduction--that is the only reason they are alive; they will do what they can to find the goal.

As a side note, if you're not entirely sure how one gets pregnant then you may want to think about what you're doing a little more carefully. This was sort-of a silly question to most users on this site--do you really think you're knowledgeable enough to handle the consequences of sexual activities?

I am simply concerned for your health and safety. I feel like I should bring some things to your attention that you may have overlooked or that you simply were not aware of before. I only want you to be in the best situation possible.

Before starting sexual activity you and your partner should both be very aware of all possible consequences. It is important to be informed so that nobody is hurt in any way. You should really check out some photos of STDs/STIs and what pregnancy at such a young age does to a woman's body before rushing into things. Like I said, it's better to be informed than to trip into something you're absolutely clueless about.

STDs:
Many people now have STDs or STIs and don't even know it. Mothers can also pass their STDs onto their babies so everyone is pretty much at risk of having something they can pass along to others. It's important to be picky on who you have sexual relations with because if you contract an STD/STI from them then some really bad things can happen--including life-long illness, infertility, and brain deterioration.

No method of birth control is 100% effective. Even if you use two methods of birth control there is still a pregnancy risk. No matter what birth control you use, you also risk contracting an STD or STI.

Here is a list of some super scary facts about STDs. You'd be surprised at how many people now have some sort of STD and how much money we put toward trying to cure them. This is a really interesting link and it gives you a lot of think about and discuss with your partner:

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is also a link of photos of various STDs. Most of the photos are of males but there are a few female photos in there. Some are very scary. Don't worry about many photos popping up when you click the link, they're behind other links so you can choose which ones you might want to check out:

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

Pregnancy:
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child. Having a child means being completely selfless because they need 100% of your attention 100% of the time. Having children means major sacrifices, especially in the emotional department.

Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, consider the consequences of that action too. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.

You're aware you're not financially and emotionally ready to be a parent or you wouldn't worry about pregnancy. I'm sure you want to give your future children the best possibly life and if you contract an STD you may not be able to have children, may be too sick to raise them completely, or may pass something along to them. It would be especially scary if your partner impregnated you and then left the relationship for you to handle all of the childcare.

Here are some facts about how much a baby costs within the first year of life; you should really check it out just for future issues as the knowledge could come in very handy:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Virginity:
Virginity should be more valuable than we make it. The media feeds us a bunch of crap telling us that if we love someone we should give them our bodies. Instead we should be showing our love in other ways and making wedding night extra special for that person. Contrary to popular belief, sex does not make us attractive, rich, famous, liked, or popular.

Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you've already lost your virginity or are definite on losing it, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Communication and Knowledge:
Before engaging in any sexual activity you need to sit down and discuss everything with your partners. He needs to be just as informed as you are. He needs to know all of the little details--the good and the bad. Have him check out the links with you if possible so he knows the facts too.

I wish you luck on becoming more knowledgeable about sexual activity so that we don't see you again here in fear of a pregnancy.

okay so when i typed in yeast infection symptoms on google i got this site that said this::

Since not everyone gets the discharge, the easiest way for a woman to tell that she has a yeast infection is that she itches in and around her vagina. A lot. The itchiness may be accompanied by a burning sensation, and her vulvar area can be red and swollen. It may also burn or be generally painful for her to urinate, and sex may become painful as well. A good way to distinguish the burning on urination that is due to a yeast infection vs. a urinary tract infection is to pay close attention to exactly when the burning starts and stops. With yeast, the burning is due to acidic urine hitting the irritated skin of the vulva, so the burning starts when the urine reaches the outside. With urinary tract infection, the burning is felt as the urine passes down the tube on its way out.

While these are the general symptoms of a yeast infection, every woman may experience one differently. She may identify an infection by the smell and consistency of the discharge, which can be unique to her. However, certain symptoms definitely do not go along with a simple yeast infection, and they may indicate that something more serious is going on. For example, if she is feverish or is experiencing pelvic pain, these are definitely indications that she ought to see her doctor in order to receive a proper diagnosis and medical care.

*** kay, so people say that i have one, like on here after i asked about my itchey vagina. but i don't have like any of the symptoms...i have discharge but like i've always had it whats going on? _(link)

I answered your previous question but I am assuming you did not throughly read through my response.

It is really not uncommon to only be experiencing one symptom of a yeast infection (or no symptoms even). If your vagina was previously not as itchy as it currently is then something is probably not normal. Vaginas don't just get very itchy out of the blue for no reason.

You also noted in your other question that you had an increased amount of vaginal discharge than you've been accustomed to. The discharge does not have to be just like cottage cheese to be a yeast infection--like I said, some women do not show exact symptoms of the yeast infection. If you're having greater amounts of discharge than previously then that is a symptom.

Any way it is--vaginal yeast infection, bacterial infection, or nothing--you should wear looser clothing if you feel it may be scratching your skin in that area. You still may want to wear a panty-liner daily if you are bothered by your discharge.

I still hold that you should see your regular doctor to make sure everything is healthy but that is your call. It's better to be knowledgeable of your own body and stay healthy than to get very sick and regret waiting.

okay so i'm not sure if this is a yeast infection or not but its kinda itchy down there and i get this white clumpy discharge every so often??anyone know what it is and will it go away on its own?? _(link)

Vaginal yeast infections can cause itching and burning, the white discharge may look similar to cottage cheese, there could be pain during sexual intercourse, and some swelling of the vulva. The discharge smells somewhat yeasty from what I've read but not always.

Yeast infections are caused by a disruption in the balance of good bacteria in the vagina. Sexual intercourse, antibiotics, using too much soap, tampon usage, and even wearing tight clothing can all cause a yeast infection to occur.

If you have never had one before and you suspect you do now, then you NEED to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. From there, you can purchase over-the-counter medication such as Monistat from your local store. The 7-day treatment seems to be the best of the bunch. It comes with the medication, applicator, and instructions so you can do it yourself in privacy.

Anyway, once the doctor has diagnosed you PROPERLY with this then you'll know in the future what one is like and will be able to treat yourself without needing to see your doctor (though you may want to continue seeing the doctor just to make sure). It is VERY important you see the doctor the first time things are odd though so you get acquainted with your body and can remain healthy.

Sometimes women mis-diagnose themselves with a yeast infection when they really have something else wrong (such as a bacterial infection that can render the woman infertile). Even though the clumpy cottage cheese-like discharge is a key symptom of a yeast infection, it's best to see your doctor about it.

Until you're able see a doctor, you may want to wear a panty-liner so you don't have wet underclothing/pants. Do NOT wear a tampon as it will further disrupt the balance in your vagina, and if you don't have an infection, you can get one then. You may also want to wear some looser clothing.

I also want to take note that the person below me has no idea what they're talking about when they say cranberry juice helps a yeast infection. Cranberry juice can help urinary tract infections but won't do anything for a yeast infection.

Consuming yogurt may help while you're doing the Monistat treatment and in the prevention of another yeast infection. Even better, you could look into purchasing some Lactobacillus acidophilus pills from your local store (Wal-mart, various pharmacy, GNC) to take each day for prevention. L. acidophilus is what is in the yogurt that helps, but yogurt only has a small amount of it so it would be more helpful to purchase some of the pills.

I hope you get yourself to the doctor to confirm what sounds to be a yeast infection and all goes well with current treatment and preventative measures.

15/f

Okay so I haven't really had a "real" boyfriend before, and this guy and i have sort of had a thing for each other. i'm really scared though because i want to stay a virgin until i'm married and i won't really go farther than making out. Will he get bored of this? Do relationships end because they are bored of making out with you? i'm terrified that we'll be in the middle of a makeout session and he'll stop kissing me and be like "i'm sick of this..." or will he always think making out is fun? do you know any guys who have ever been sick of their girlfriend/making out with them? _(link)

I really am very, very proud of you for making the decision to remain a virgin until wedding night. The man you marry will receive a very special gift and I'm sure he'll be very thrilled.

Never ever give in to sex because you think it's going to ruin a relationship if you don't. A good guy will not pressure you to do any sexual activities. If a guy does say he's sick and tired of only making out then he isn't worth your time. Guys can wait and if they tell you they can't then you shouldn't stick around.

You've chosen the right path and have decided to not give into the stupidity the media feeds us now. You definately should make it very clear to the guy you're seeing that activities will not go past making out unless you two get married. It should be perfectly acceptable for you to have that conversation with the guy so he knows that he should not expect you to give him your body.

Communication is key in every relationship and this really should be out in the open so that you're not concerned over him leaving mid-make-out because he wants more and you won't give it. Open up to the guy and let him know what you've decided for you.

You may want to share your reasons for waiting until marriage so that the boy will fully understand why. He may also see that waiting until marriage is the right decision.

Here is a really good link of 25 reasons why it's important to keep your virginity. It may be some things you haven't thought about, or it may just be some things to point out to the guy:

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

If the boy gets upset or says that you two should have sex (even "eventually") then you need to back-track and tell him it is your decision too and you are not going to. It's totally fine to dump someone for pressuring you into things you don't want to do, especially when it's disrespecting you entirely.

Again, I'm very proud of you for making the right choice and I hope that you find a good guy that isn't going to pressure you for more.

There is a 1 hemmroid bump right outside my anus. I am currently 14,almost 15 years old.I dont think it is anything serious.It is just black and blue,is that normal?How can I make it go away without buying anything?I have heard that you can get it through lifting weight.I lift 50 pound weights almost every other day.Is that a problem?Can they go away and if so how fast and whats the fastest way to make them go away without buying anything?I am pretty sure this would be considered external hemroid. _(link)

A hemorrhoid is like a very irritated bit of vein from your rectum. It can be very painful and can be caused by many things (pregnancy, heavy lifting, constipation). Roughly, 50% of Americans will suffer from having a hemorrhoid in their lifetime.

Up your fiber intake. You can buy products such as Benefiber, Metamucil, and ColonPure (from GNC) to help you get more fiber if you're not getting enough from fruits, vegetables, and grains.
Do NOT take laxatives for this though as diarrhea can upset the hemorrhoid further.

Make sure to drink your 8 glasses of water a day to keep hydrated.

Do not push as hard when you go to the bathroom. Pushing hard from constipation and lack of fiber is one of the main causes.

Try not to "hold it in" any longer than absolutely necessary. Go when your body says to.

Soak in a tub of warm water for about 10 - 15 minutes each day.

Many websites have suggested wiping after you poo with flushable wipes. There are many different kinds like the Kleenex Cottonelle, Charmin Fresh Mates, and Equate brand from Wal-Mart. These websites say it helps to keep the area clean and soothes it a bit.

Here is a little more information about hemorrhoids and it also has some tips to help relieve the pain in the meantime:

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/digestive/basics/090.html

There are creams (such as Preparation H) and wipes you can buy for such a thing but personally I'd go see a doctor before doing anything like that just for confirmation. Most hemorrhoids go away in a few days so it's probably best you get checked out by a professional.

Please try to see your doctor if possible to make sure everything is alright with you. It's better to be safe and well-informed about your body than to go down the road and find out it's progressed to something major.

this question is for anyone who has has sex before. My best friend recently told me that he was in love with me and this Friday we plan to lose our virginity together. We have protection and im on Yasmin birth control so im not worried about getting pregnant...The problem is, I have no idea what to do when it actually comes to intercourse... It seems like it would be difficult for 2 bodies to be in sync that way... I don't know the first thing about how to do it.. Any tips from experience? Does it hurt if his penis is 8inches or close to that? Will I bleed? Well I masterbated the other night and I was very turned on at the time and I bled a little, but I wasn't starting my period.. I know that's TMI.. But I'm really just nervous and clueless.. Any tips at all would be greatlyyyyy appreciated :) _(link)

I understand that you may be dead set on losing your virginity to your current best friend but I'd really like you to take note of a few things before engaging in such activities.

Yes, I know it's your body and your decision. I am only making you aware of a few things that you may have slightly overlooked. I see that you're not entirely sure HOW sex works and this concerns me because I feel you may not know the consequences of such actions. I am simply concerned for your well-being.

Sex is a major thing though and you should be picky about what you do and who you do it with. You should not be in a hurry to lose your virginity. It's a very scary activity (you're naked and vulnerable in MANY ways during sex) and we're all pressured to do it in some way.

You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.

A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. Even if your best friend is a virgin too it doesn't mean he may not have something--babies can be born with STDs.

Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and NO "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child (or children in the case of twins) means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.

It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.

One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.

Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.

The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.

You should really sit down with the best friend and discuss this matter. Look up some photos online together of what STDs have done to people's bodies. Discuss financial responsibility and emotional support you would have to provide if there happens to be a life created from the activity. Think of the POSSIBILITIES and make sure that you're truly ready to handle everything that can come from having sex.

You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. If you love your best friend and he loves you then sex shouldn't be a priority. Love does not mean you should be having sex and having sex does not mean you love someone. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner.

Here are some facts you want to consider on pregnancy:

"...you thought the home pregnancy test was expensive! The costs of raising a baby to age 18 costs between $125,000-$250,000 and that's not including college tuition! In your baby's first year alone, you can easily spend between $9,000-$11,000..."

"...childcare can cost as much as $3,000-$4,500 in your baby's first year, not to mention the higher insurance premium for adding an additional person."

"Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications."

"...plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)"

"For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula."

Taken from:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Here are 25 really good reasons why it's important to keep your virginity (it has some really neat things to think about; even if you DO choose to have sex it's still very interesting to read and to think about):

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently:

"More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.

The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. Every year, there are at least 19 million new cases of STDs/STIs, some of which are curable.

More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.

In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs/STIs.

Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.

Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.

One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.

About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs/STIs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden."

...and it goes on! Right here...

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

...and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos):

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

...you can google up a lot more images of various STDs/STIs. I figured you could spend some time doing so if you chose to. You really need to consider this just in case your partner is carrying something (or picks up something later on). It's better to be informed that to go into it clueless!

Losing your virginity is a one-time deal. You never give it back no matter what you do. It should be a special thing to give your virginity to your husband (trust me, the man you marry would be thrilled to receive that sort of gift on the wedding night). Before jumping into things, discuss the consequences and think it all over. Look ahead at what you want your life to become.

If he loves you, he can wait for sex. If he says he wants to marry you, then you can surely wait until you're already wed. Just because someone tells you they love you it doesn't mean you should owe them something.

To quickly touch on your questions:
Sex can be a very bad experience if you choose the wrong partner and if you're both not completely informed about everything that sex is. It can be painful if neither party knows what they are doing.

Bleeding comes from your hymen ripping. Your hymen is a very thin piece of flesh that covers most of your vaginal opening. A large penis will probably rip your hymen moreso and you will bleed again.

Since you are new to sexual things (assuming you've only masturbated once even) sex will probably be very uncomfortable the first few go-arounds. No matter what you "think" (as the person below me says) your body is not use to having large objects shoved into it and being forced to stretch out.

Please get yourself (and your partner) informed completely before deciding to engage in sex.

I wish you luck on figuring out what is best to do for you. I do hope I've informed you of some things you hadn't considered.

my boyfreind tells me i dont act like his girlfreind. i dont get it. what can i do to be a better girlfriend? ive only had one boyfriend before so i guess i dont have much experience. i mean we kiss a lot and have sex but he still tells me i dont act like it. what can i do? _(link)

I think it is good that your boyfriend communicated enough to let you know that he feels something is missing from your relationship. He may have not followed through with explaining why but he may think that you already know what he meant. From here it's your turn to ask him what he feels is missing and why he is feeling that you're not acting much like a girlfriend.

It's important that you inquire from him what exactly he feels you should be doing. My guess is you two have stopped going out on dates as often (or he feels you should if you haven't). Usually couples go out for movies or dinner occasionally; although, it's not uncommon to have an at-home date with home-made dinner and a movie rental. He may be feeling that the bond between you two is diminishing so try to find some things you two can do together that you two haven't done (or haven't done in awhile).

Sometimes it's the little things that matter. If you two are out, he may feel that you should be holding his hand. He may feel that you two should talk more often (especially if all you are doing when together is having sex--there may be a huge lack of communication if this is the issue). Maybe he feels you should be coming to him with problems more often than you do (guys like to solve problems). He may really miss little things you use to tell him ("I miss you").

You really will have to ask him what is missing if you want a truthful answer. He is the only one that really knows.

On another subject, having sex does not make you a girlfriend, wife, friend, or whatever else you may think. Anyone can have sex with anyone. Prostitutes have sex every day and they don't have any attachment to their customers. So, having sex isn't making you any more or less of a girlfriend.

I hope you find the time to discuss your relationship with your boyfriend and find out what is missing for him. I wish you the best of luck working everything out.

my discharge has been a little chunky lately, like cottage cheese. is this bad? whats the reason for this _(link)

lately i've been having very smelly discharge. im 13/f. and i have irregular periods. but the discharge smells HORRID! i cant stand it. it goes in my undies clear and drys white. is there something wrong? if so, how can i fix it? i hate going to the doctors for things so please tell me an at home solution. thanks so much. i will rate back. _(link)

All women have discharge, varying in amount by where you are in your menstrual cycle. It is completely normal to be experiencing some discharge daily.
Some odor is completely normal but it should never smell awful. Every woman has her own scent.

Different Discharges:

1. Before ovulation- There will be a small amount of (mostly) clear discharge.

2. Closer to ovulation- Discharge is wet and sticky. It is usually white/lightly cream colored. There is usually some mucus but it isn't as stretchy as it will be during ovulation.

3. At ovulation (roughly about 14 days from your last period)- There will be a noticeably larger amount of discharge lasting a few days. It resembles stretchy egg whites. You are most fertile here (high risk pregnancy) and sperm entering your vagina will be able to survive slightly longer than other times.

4. After ovulation- Discharge is sticky but not as stretchy. Mostly clear, dwindling back to the "before ovulation" stage.

* Yeast infections cause quite a different discharge than normal.
Vaginal yeast infections can cause itching and burning, the white discharge may look similar to cottage cheese, there could be pain during sexual intercourse, and some swelling of the vulva. The discharge smells somewhat yeasty from what I've read but not always.

Sexual intercourse, antibiotics, using too much soap, tampon usage, and even wearing tight clothing can all cause a yeast infection to occur.

If you have never had one before and you suspect you do now, then you NEED to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. From there, you can purchase over-the-counter medication such as Monistat from your local store. The 7-day treatment seems to be the best of the bunch. It comes with the medication, applicator, and instructions so you can do it yourself in privacy.

* Bacterial vaginosis (overgrowth of bacteria in your vagina) also means a change in your regular discharge. Many women experience an increase in discharge and a very unpleasant, fishy odor; however, some women do not experience anything odd. Other symptoms include: intense itching, swelling, and irritation. If left untreated, a woman can develop pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and become infertile.

I would say that if your normal odor has dramatically changed into a very unpleasant odor then this may be a cause. Bacterial vaginosis can be treated with antibiotics that you can get from your doctor. There are few over-the-counter medications such as RepHresh that help to prevent another case.

Seeking medical attention is necessary because none of the over the counter products can actually treat an active infection. More importantly, women often inaccurately diagnose BV as a yeast infection, and delay proper treatment which may lead to major complications (including not being able to have children).

I understand it may be uncomfortable to confront a parent/guardian about the issue but it is very important you see a doctor to make sure you are healthy. We are not doctors here so we can't give a 100% proper diagnosis. This is something very serious that you absolutely need to do. This is worth a doctor's visit, definately.

Try being open with your guardian about this. Let them know you have been experiencing some odd smelling discharge and found online that it may be a sort-of infection. It doesn't mean you're dirty, having sex, or doing anything wrong.

Until you're able see a doctor, you may want to wear a panty-liner so you don't have wet underclothing/pants. Do NOT wear a tampon as it will further disrupt the balance of bacteria in your vagina, and if you don't have an infection, you can get one then. You may also want to wear some looser clothing until you're properly treated.

Remember, vaginal infections, medications, and birth control can all alter the appearance of your normal discharge so if you have been on medication lately it may be the cause of this issue.

I wish you luck on finding a doctor to see about your smelly discharge.

hi. i'm a freshman. and i kinda like this junior. it's possible he has herpes. what do i do?
do i have a chance with him even though hes a junior.. and if he has herpes.. what happens then? _(link)

I'm not entirely sure if you're asking about oral herpes or genital herpes so I will explain both a bit for you.

Cold sores and fever blisters (which are all herpes simplex 1, commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.

If you share a drink (or eating utensils, anything that touches lips) with the guy and he has oral herpes you could get it. Kissing is usually the most effective way to contract oral herpes.

The person does not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer it to you either. It is a fact that you don't have to have an active, open sore to be able to pass the virus on to other people or other parts of your body. The virus often sheds in skin cells and from the mucous membranes when there is no sign of a sore at all. This means you can catch it from him even when it looks like he doesn't have anything at all.

If you have sexual relations with the guy you can contract herpes. If he has oral herpes and gives you oral sex then you can then develop genital herpes. If he has genital herpes and you give him oral sex then you can have oral herpes. If he has genital herpes and you two have intercourse (anally or vaginally) you can have genital herpes as well.

Herpes is very, very common now:

"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."

http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/

...which would mean about 80% of the American population has herpes! Now, that's scary.

I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years.

There is no cure for herpes so it is a life-long thing people live with. There are treatments to make the outbreak shortened as well as medication that suppresses outbreaks. The medications sound very scary as they can cause seizures and even death.

Different people have different outbreaks. The outbreak could be small and just have one bump, or it could spread and become large and very bumpy. Here is a photo of oral herpes:

http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/hardin/md/cdc/1573.html

Here are photos of genital herpes (mostly of males; must click links to view the photos so they won't just pop up on you):

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

For oral herpes:
Usually the outbreak begins with a very slight tingling. It may increase to itching before a painful bump appears. The sore usually lasts 5 - 7 days and is commonly located on one of the sides of the upper lip (though it can be anywhere really). Though those are the common side-effects, some people do not experience any tingling, itching, or pain.

For genital herpes:
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands.

Genital herpes can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies so it's important to not contract it for future childbirth. It is also said that HSV-2 helps to spread HIV/AIDs since there are open wounds on the genitals.

Though, I'd also like to note that if the guy did not say he has herpes then he may not have it. You should definately not listen to rumors and ask him about what you've been hearing. Any way it is, he should know about the rumors going around the school about him. Plus, it's hard to diagnose herpes as you must currently be having an outbreak to show positive for it most of the time.

If he does have herpes then it's your call on what to do next. You should really evaluate the situation. Can you live with such outbreaks? Can you refrain from having sexual relations with other people for your entire life to lessen the risk of spreading the infection? Do you really want to put your health and the health of future children at risk?

ok ((14/f) i sweat alot like terribly what deodrant can i sued that will stop this i use secret but that still deosnt work help
signed sweatyfreshman _(link)

You should see a doctor about the problem if you have tried a few different deodorants and they aren't helping. Try switching to other brands before you give up, including the few I've listed below.

Some people just naturally sweat more than others. It could be a hereditary condition called hyperhidrosis, but you'd have to see a doctor for that diagnosis.

They now have the prescription strength over-the-counter formulas out there for women. Secret Clinical Strength and Certain Dri are both specifically made for this type of problem. You should check them out and follow the directions on using them as I believe they have different application instructions than other deodorants.

Also, if you don't want to be spendy with the deodorant, you could try Mitchum for women, as I've heard good things about it as well.

Here is also a good link on some tips on controlling the sweat in the meantime:

http://www.ehow.com/how_6176_control-perspiration.html

It does add this that you may want to consider:

"If you perspire even when you're relaxed and the temperature is cool, see your doctor [as] it could be a sign of an underlying health problem."

...and this site:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0846/is_12_23/ai_n6125734

...has this tip:

"Use an antiperspirant with aluminum chloride, which blocks pores to inhibit the release of sweat. Try the new Soft & Dri DermaStripe..."

I wish you luck on finding a good method to controlling your perspiration.

My bf wants to have sex but i'm scared.... i want to..... but its just that... i dont know... can you just please help me... please. _(link)

I think what is happening is your body is wanting sex but your mind knows it isn't the wisest choice. Hormones try to take over the body when we are maturing and sometimes it's hard to fight urges.

Sex is a major thing though and you should be picky about what you do and who you do it with.

You risk STDs/STIs with each act. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide itself in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death.

Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and no "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.

It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that's scary.

One night of sex can result in creating another life. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they have a tough road ahead of them.

Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there is a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression after having an abortion. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be unacceptable.

The media feeds us a bunch of crap now. We're told that if we use condoms that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, and attractive. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.

You should really sit down with the boyfriend and discuss your feelings on the matter. Look up some photos online of what STDs have done to people's bodies. Discuss financial responsibility and emotional support you would have to provide if there happens to be a life created from the activity. A good man will not push for sex, but he will wait for you to figure out when you are completely ready to handle the responsibility.

Here are some facts you want to consider:

"...you thought the home pregnancy test was expensive! The costs of raising a baby to age 18 costs between $125,000-$250,000 and that's not including college tuition! In your baby's first year alone, you can easily spend between $9,000-$11,000..."

"...childcare can cost as much as $3,000-$4,500 in your baby's first year, not to mention the higher insurance premium for adding an additional person."

"Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications."

"...plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)"

"For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula."

Taken from:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Here are 25 reasons why it's important to keep your virginity (it has some really good things to think about; even if you DO choose to have sex it's still very interesting to read):

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Here are some extremely scary facts about STDs:

"More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.

The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. Every year, there are at least 19 million new cases of STDs/STIs, some of which are curable.

More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.

In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs/STIs.

Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.

Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.

One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.

About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs/STIs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden."

...and it goes on! Right here...

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

...and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos):

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

...you can google up a lot more images of various STDs/STIs. I figured you could spend some time doing so if you chose to.

Losing your virginity is a one-time deal. You never give it back no matter what you do. It should be a special thing to give your virginity to your husband (trust me, the man you marry would be thrilled to receive that sort of gift on the wedding night). Before jumping into things, discuss the consequences and think it all over. Look ahead at what you want your life to become.

I wish you luck on figuring out what is best to do for you.

I will celebrate my 2nd anniversary in september. I'm 29 and my husband is 35. My husband and I have these petty arguments all the time about how he always put me last or don't help me around the house. For example, we were invited to a relative's house for Easter dinner. I haven't seen these relatives since they moved back to my home town. I made sure my husband didn't have any plans for us, before I gave my cousin the okay for dinner. Well, when Sunday came, he layed around the house napping. I told him I wanted to leave the house at 4pm for dinner and he said okay. As usual, he didn't start to get ready until 5:30pm. This is an ongoing problem, it's like he doesn't hear me or just don't care. Since December we scheduled a date. We would go out or watch a movie once a week (on a Wednesday), this day was selected by my husband. Since I compromised on a Weekday, due to him working on Saturdays. I suggested we start date night no later than 6:30 pm. This way, we can still enjoy one another and I can still get enough rest for work the next day. He agreed. However, I think he made it to date night on time maybe 3 times. The last straw was he wanted to go to the mall during our night. This was after he showed up 1 and 1/2 hours late. What I don't understand is he get's an attitude with me, because I'm mad at him. I'm really tired of this and not to mention all the other teenage actions he's pulled. What should I do??? _(link)

I think what you're lacking is communication. You say you've communicated to set dates for certain things and he's been uncooperative. Have you discussed your thoughts about his inactivity with him?
It is very important that you express exactly how you feel to him or he won't really know there is a problem. TELL HIM that you're getting hurt feelings about date-night. Let him know you really would appreciate some help when you notice that he's just laying around.

Talk through these issues. Tell him how you feel and WHY you are feeling that way. Let him know what you wish would happen.

It's also good to let him know that you are viewing him as a teenage boy. Give your reasons why and let him know you really aren't happy about it. Be open and honest with him--he deserves to know.

You have to give him opportunity to change. He may not be aware that it's as serious as it is. When you notice that he isn't coming through on his end after he has said he would, then you need to point it out and tell him what the issue is (Example: You said you would come and see a movie with me tonight but you were very late. It really makes me feel like you don't care about the time we spend together and this really makes me very unhappy. Date night is a big deal for me because we don't get to go out often anymore and I really liked going out with you. Could you please be on time from now on?).

If you don't tell him right away when things are going on (or not going on, as it seems) then you'll end up bottling up the emotions and your relationship will weaken. Your partner needs to know your issues with him. He needs to know what he's doing is bothering you.

So, the next time he says he'll help out before guests are over and you see he isn't--point it out to him. The next time there are plans to see relatives and he isn't getting prepared then make it clear that it's causing problems. The next time he misses date-night then let him know your thoughts and why you feel certain ways. The next time he is very late for meeting with you, bring it to his attention that it is bothersome.

Good communication is key here. You should open up and tell him EVERYTHING exactly when it is happening. He may be getting an attitude with you because he does not realize you're having different thoughts about these situations than he is. He really may not see it as such a big problem. Since you haven't pointed it out when he's been inactive, he hasn't ever had it brought to his attention that someone is bothered.

He also may not understand WHY you're thinking/feeling the way you do. You need to fully explain all the little thoughts that run through your head to him. Do your best to be clear about what is happening on your side.

I wish you luck on letting your husband know what you've been feeling and learning to tell him these things exactly when they occur so he'll have the chance to fix them.

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