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My bf wants to have sex but.
My bf wants to have sex but i'm scared.... i want to..... but its just that... i dont know... can you just please help me... please.
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If you have any doubt to do it. Or you hesitated when he asked or whatever then you shouldnt it just says that your not ready. So if theres any doubt in your mind dont do it.
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Don't do it. Plain and simple.
And your boyfriend should respect your morals, and not pressure you into doing something that you aren't ready for.
-Laura. (15-f)
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I think what is happening is your body is wanting sex but your mind knows it isn't the wisest choice. Hormones try to take over the body when we are maturing and sometimes it's hard to fight urges.
Sex is a major thing though and you should be picky about what you do and who you do it with.
You risk STDs/STIs with each act. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide itself in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death.
Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and no "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that's scary.
One night of sex can result in creating another life. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they have a tough road ahead of them.
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there is a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression after having an abortion. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be unacceptable.
The media feeds us a bunch of crap now. We're told that if we use condoms that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, and attractive. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.
You should really sit down with the boyfriend and discuss your feelings on the matter. Look up some photos online of what STDs have done to people's bodies. Discuss financial responsibility and emotional support you would have to provide if there happens to be a life created from the activity. A good man will not push for sex, but he will wait for you to figure out when you are completely ready to handle the responsibility.
Here are some facts you want to consider:
"...you thought the home pregnancy test was expensive! The costs of raising a baby to age 18 costs between $125,000-$250,000 and that's not including college tuition! In your baby's first year alone, you can easily spend between $9,000-$11,000..."
"...childcare can cost as much as $3,000-$4,500 in your baby's first year, not to mention the higher insurance premium for adding an additional person."
"Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications."
"...plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)"
"For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula."
Taken from:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here are 25 reasons why it's important to keep your virginity (it has some really good things to think about; even if you DO choose to have sex it's still very interesting to read):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here are some extremely scary facts about STDs:
"More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.
The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. Every year, there are at least 19 million new cases of STDs/STIs, some of which are curable.
More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.
In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs/STIs.
Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.
Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.
One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.
About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs/STIs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden."
...and it goes on! Right here...
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...you can google up a lot more images of various STDs/STIs. I figured you could spend some time doing so if you chose to.
Losing your virginity is a one-time deal. You never give it back no matter what you do. It should be a special thing to give your virginity to your husband (trust me, the man you marry would be thrilled to receive that sort of gift on the wedding night). Before jumping into things, discuss the consequences and think it all over. Look ahead at what you want your life to become.
I wish you luck on figuring out what is best to do for you.
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There are a lot of good reasons to be scared.
I know a lot of teens don't even think about
it, I know I didn't, but having sex is taking
some very big risks with your future.
Not having sex with someone doesn't mean you
don't have very deep feelings for them. It
doesn't mean you don't necessarily not WANT
to have sex with them. It just means you aren't
ready to risk your future, or thiers, for a
night of sex.
It only takes one time to get pregnant. Some
guys may not realize that the idea of that is
very scary for a girl. Guys can go on like
nothing happened if they choose to. Girls
don't have that choice. They either have a
baby or they have to make decisions that have
to be lived with for the rest of their lives.
Very scary stuff! So if you have any doubts
at all, or are scared to take that step, any
reasonable guy is going to understand that.
Yeah, he can use a condom. They sometimes
break. It may not happen very often, but its
a risk.
Have a very serious talk with your boyfriend.
Don't get talked into doing it out of guilt.
Even the sweetest guys may try to make you
feel like you don't love them if you don't.
Now the decision is yours of course. Just be
well informed before you do anything. Protect
yourself. Here is a good site for a bunch of
information. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I was a pregnant teen once upon a time. I
can tell you from experience it does happen.
I'm not just some old lady trying to preach
at you. Just know you are not weird for
being scared, and if you decide to have sex,
be well informed and responsible BEFORE
you do. :)
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It's very normal for you to be nervous about sex. This may mean that you aren't ready for the commitment. You should never have sex unless you are ready for it. You need to make sure that you have taken the proper precautions before sex. Make sure you have condomns and other sorts of pregnancy preventions. Also try talking to your boyfriend if he really cares about you and cares about your needs then he will be patient with you. Just don't have sex before you are ready for it.
Hope I Helped.
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well i don't understand, what do you want us to do? there's nothing really we can do, only you can stop yourself from having sex. if you aren't ready then don't do it! if you have any doubts, then i don't think it's the right time. your boyfriend should understand that and he shouldn't make you do anything you don't want to do.
goodluck(:
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If you are scared, DON'T HAVE SEX!
If you don't want to, there is absolutely no point.
It doesn't matter what your boyfriend thinks. Both people have to be ready for this to be pleasurable or in any way good for your relationship.
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Well the thing is i would not it can get you in a lot of trouble.
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The mere fact you're having second thoughts means you shouldn't and you aren't yet ready.
When it's time, you won't question it, you'll just act.
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If you're having second thoughts, then you're not ready to. Tell him that. If he really cares for you, he'll understand and wait until you think you're ready. Don't let him pressure you into it. It's always safer to wait.
Good luck.
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