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AM I Still A VIRGIN???
16/female..but will turn 17 in july...okay so i met this guy on the bus who asked for my # i was ignoring his calls and then eventually started conversating with him. we've know each other for about 2 months now almost three and i really like him..his 19 an says that hes not like other guys..but yea i noe that's what they all say..he gets mad over little things but i can handle that. He has been pressuring me to give IT up to him but im not ready..i given him a hand job and hes fingered me..it was GREAT.. but i dont want it to go any further. last night he stuck his thing in me n tried to break my hymn but i told him to get off cuz it hurted..sooo am i still a virgin????
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To quickly answer your question: You are not a virgin because there was penetration; though, you weren't much of a virgin when you were giving and receiving other sexual favors.
Even though you're no longer a virgin, you can still hold out on having sex in the future. You cannot get your virginity back and maybe you want to think about why you put yourself in such a situation as to lose it so easily.
If you have been fingered multiple times (by yourself or others) your hymen is, most likely, not intact anyway.
If a boy is pressuring you to go past what you are comfortable with then he isn't worth your time. Any GOOD guy wouldn't pressure you at all but would assume that he needed to wait until wedding night anyway. There ARE guys out there that are more than willing to wait until it's the right time (wedding night) so please be careful on who you engage in sexual activity with.
I know the media is feeding teens and young adults such crap now but please do not buy into it. Sex does not make you attractive, popular, smart, wealthy, or even liked. You should have more respect for yourself than to give into sexual urges so easily but I know that the media is brainwashing you. Having sex does not prove you love anyone at all either(hey, prostitutes have sex every day), and we should be going out of our ways to figure out how to show we care in other ways to people.
Virginity is special and people should not be devaluing it like they are. Giving your virginity away to your husband on wedding night is an awesome gift that would be cherished and well-received. I know that many teenagers feel that sex is not a big deal. It IS a big deal and if they had been emotionally, physically, and mentally ready for it they would know how wonderful it can be to share such things with your husband/wife.
Sex puts us in a very vulnerable state. We can be really hurt physically and emotionally in many ways. Some people cannot ever get over some of their sexual encounters because of how emotionally hurt, degraded, or neglected they felt. We risk our bodies of catching STDs or STIs that we may have to deal with until we die. Women risk becoming pregnant--which can really cause some physical problems if the woman is not ready to have them.
There is such an emotional connection when you have no fears of future issues resulting from sex when you are married. You no longer fear they will ever leave you or are using you, you know you will get through it if a baby results, and you can depend on them to listen to your needs and desires. You no longer have to worry if they've picked up an STD since your last encounter since you can be sure you're their only sexual partner.
There are many other reasons why you should not engage in sexual relations until you are married. Here is a good link to 25 reasons to wait until that special night with that special man (even if you do have sex it's still very interesting to read and just something to think about):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
..just because you're not a virgin any more doesn't mean you don't need to hold onto what you have left. You can stop sexual activity right now if you want to. You can't get your virginity back but you can increase your self-respect.
It's important to know the consequences of sex and one of them is pregnancy. A baby is very costly emotionally, physically, and financially. All of your time, emotions, and money goes toward a baby until they are grown--and even then they will come to you with problems for your advice. Here is a link to costs of a baby in the first year alone:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It's doubtful that our teens today are able to raise a baby successfully even in the first year. Like I said, a baby needs 100% of your time always, all of your attention, all of your money, and all of your emotional and intellectual parts. Teenagers are not ready to handle this and they don't realize that with each and every sexual act they are risking putting themselves in a hard situation. Remember, no protection is 100% effective, and even when you use two methods there is STILL a chance.
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, consider the consequences of that action too. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
You can catch STDs from other sexual contact apart from intercourse. Here is a link to some super scary facts about STDs that everyone should know about before engaging in sexual activity:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
STDs and STIs can really mess a person up. They can cause you to look deformed, a person to become infertile, and even major brain deterioration. They're easily caught and spread and many people never show symptoms of them until it's in late stages.
Here is a link of photos of what STDs look like. The photos are graphic and of mainly males. You have to choose which one you want to see first so they won't pop up on you. I am sharing this with you to show how serious STDs are and that people aren't kidding when they say this:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It's always important to become informed before engaging in ANY sexual activity. Even if you only plan to give a man a handjob you still need to know all of the facts about other sexual activities too in case things get carried away and go further. Condoms and the pill are not the only "protection" you need--you need the protection of good knowledge. Also, your partner should be just as informed as you are about sexual relations.
I hope that you can put these experiences in the past and become more knowledgeable of what you're doing with yourself.
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ok so your not a "virgin" anymore i guess if your not ready to do something dont do it, its not a life or death situation it should be a choice you make on your own and will know when your ready.
Remember you said it youself that you also not ready.
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no hun your not a virgin anymore. he entered you even though he did not "pop your cherry" he still was inside you. next time you do something it might not hurt as much but it will still hurt
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His penis entered you. It doesn't matter how long for. You are not a virgin.
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There was penetration with his penis, so no, most likely, you're not a virgin.
Some people might argue that, but even if he didn't pop your cherry, that doesn't mean there wasn't any entering.
In other words, you're no longer a virgin.
Jess
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